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MadDog · (02-14-2023)

I felt a tear drop from my eye and splash on my cheek, as the words left my lips. “Honey, I did it, I got outta the first round. Go ahead and mail in the car payment.”, I said with a smile..

It’s no secret that times have been tough in the Wright household, and before leaving for Texas I wrote out a check to pay off our family van. If I beat Sally my wife would mail the check-in and we’d own the Sienna outright. If I had lost, she was gonna have to turn it back over to the bank. That first round wasn’t just a big win for me, it was a big win for my family. It allowed us to pay off our Van, and stop that four-hundred-plus dollar payment every month.

After a conversation with my wife that uplifted both our spirits, it was time for a shower. As I exited the shower, towel around my waist, I saw Sunny sitting by my travel bag with a big smile on his face. I knew he had either gotten his share of the winnings or found the most desperate ring rat in the state of Texas.

What’s got you grinning like an opossum with a sweet potato?

Sunny looks confused by my question, but quickly shakes it off. He’s always been quick-witted, but don’t seem to understand the old south sayings.

Mark, let’s go out and celebrate this big win.

I don’t even look up as I’m getting dressed, I’m surprised he is even asking me to go out, he knows how tight money is. I shake my head "no" as I get a pinch of Skoal.

Sunny, I can’t afford that brother, you know I’m trying to save everything I can.

Come on Mark, you worked hard for this. You deserve to celebrate, we both deserve to, in case you forgot, I still haven’t got my car back,

I shake my head, and say nothing, as I pull up my Wrangler jeans and grab my t-shirt.

Ok, fine, MY TREAT.

I still don’t, I just pull my Sturgill Simpson shirt on and grab my Bass Pro Shop hat.

Mark, really, I need a drink, and I’m not going out alone. Your Father wouldn’t let me drink alone, and I know you won't either.

“Alright, but no clubs or hipster honky tonks”, I say as I pull my flannel on.

I look back to see Sunny with that grin, and can’t help but smile back at him.

A few hours and a few drinks later both Sunny and I felt good and loose. I sat at our table finishing off the last PBR of my bucket of beer, and tried to hold in my laughter as I watched Sunny schmoozing what my grandpappy would have described as s “sturdy” blonde girl. Poor Sunny, she’d break his weak back and make him humble. I shook my head at Sunny as I saw him and the sturdy woman head for the dance floor

As much fun as I was having with Sunny my mind was already on the sweet sixteen. That first-round win only opened the pressure valve a little, but if I didn’t catch some more wins quickly that pressure would build back up quick, fast, and in a hurry.

Ya know Dinoysus, when I first heard ya name boy, I thought you was just into dinosaurs, but turns out ya named ya self after an old Greek God. Shoot, you coulda picked somethen cool if you was gonna do that. You coulda been called Zeus, Ares, or Poseidon, but instead, you choose the god of wine. You must be one dumb Cabernet Sauvignon b*tch, to pick something so dag on dumb. Shoot, everybody knows that shine is stronger than wine, and that means shine puts ya down and out faster.

That’s what I’m gonna do to ya at Warfare, put ya down fast. I ain’t come to the sweet sixteen to just come to the sweet sixteen. I got a long road ahead of me, and I know that when you’re big star bound that it’s a long hard ride. Dino, I hope ya don’t mind me calling you Dino, sounds much cooler, and if ya do mind, well, tough titty. Dino, brother I know you gonna be a hard spot in the road to the final four. Shoot fire boy, ya might be the hardest stretch of the road, but old Mad Dog got four-wheel drive, with big mud tires. In fancy folks speak, I’m saying that I’m built for the tough roads, and I’ll run over ya or through ya, but I won’t be stopped by you.

Shoot, ain’t no man or woman born of their mother gonna stop old Mad Dog. Na, brother this dog is running like a greyhound, ready to run through the fence that is holding me back. I got my nose on the trail to victory, and I’ll chew my way through anything that gets in my way. I wasn’t stopped by that yapping little pup Sally, and I ain’t gonna be stopped by the big old Great Dane named Dino.

Guess you can say that old Mad Dog is gonna give you something to wine about. I know ya gonna left feeling real mer-LOW, when I bounce ya out of March Madness, and I’d be lying if I said I felt bad about that. When it comes to you getting some more mula for fancy windows, and me maken a couple of mortgage payments, I really couldn’t give a crap less about ya feelings. I gotta look out for me and mine, cause I know ain’t nobody else gonna do it.

I grabbed my bottle of PBR and finished off the last of it with a quick swig. I sat the bottle back down and smirked as I looked at the label of this historic redneck beer that the hipsters tried to gentrify.

Dino, both of us are the spawn of pro wrestling papas, but that is where the similarities between the two of us end. You’re about the biggest bookworm I done ever seen, and I mean that literally and figuratively. You a big old drink of water, as they say, but brother I’m gonna pour your glass out and splash ya all over the mat. If ya don’t understand what that means, it means I’m gonna knock ya over and spill your insides out. Now, if that means I bust ya open like a wine bottle, and that red wine comes rolling out the cracks then so be it. Or, if it means I knock ya upside ya head so hard you get dizzy and empty the contents of your stomach, which I’m guessing is cheese that pairs with your wine, then so be it.

I’d say I got nothing personal against ya Dino, but shoot, that’d be a lie. I don’t hate your guts, or wanna see ya dipped in the river and hung in the barn to dry, but you are standing in the way of the better life I’m trying to give to my family, and as such, I take that personally. Ya see, while you are trying to figure out what windows would be best for your winery, I’m figuring out which bills I can afford to pay this time around. Ya got them first-world problems, and I got them real-world problems.

I ain’t holding it against ya that you got a little coin in ya pocket, na, good for ya son. But, I am saying I’m hungrier than you. Shoot, I said it once, and I’m gonna keep on sayen it, old Mad Dog is the hungriest dog in this hunt. I not only want this more than you Dino, but I NEED it more than you. A man will always fight hard and do more for a need than he will for a want. I copped my first dubya here in XWF, and finally got some of that oh-so-important momentum on my side, and Dino, brother, you ain’t stoppen me. Ya mighta stopped Barney the Dinosaur, how ironic, Dino and Barney, but brother you ain’t stoppen this Mad Dog.

I’m gonna bite, claw, and frankly, do whatever in the heck I gotta do to win this match and every other dag-on match in this tournament. This ain’t just lip service either, na boy, you gonna find out this dog’s bite is way worse than his bite. I may not be as fancy as you, I may not have the book learning you have, and I may not be as big as you, but I got more grit, I got the real-world street knowledge, and I got more fight in. You a smart boy Dino, I’m sure you done heard the old saying, it ain’t the size of the dog in the right, it’s the size of the fight in the dog.

You gonna find out just how big the fight is inside this old Mad Dog come Warfare. You want to put me down and make it to the elite eight, you gonna have to separate me from my concussions, and let me tell ya, boy, I got a head hard as a cinderblock. A cinderblock you ain’t gonna be able to break, and a cinderblock that I’m gonna drop on ya from the top rope. Dino, just like old Sally girl, this tournament only ends one way for ya. It don’t end with Dino going to the elite eight. It ends with you going home to nurse your head, and it ends with you going mad.

I look back to the love birds, trying to see if I was going to have to get my own room tonight, and I see Sunny pinned against the wall. Unfortunately for Sunny, it isn’t the sturdy blonde, but rather what I am assuming is a jealous lover of old girl. The big burly, bear-looking man has one hand on Sunny’s collar holding him against the wall, and the other pulled back ready to knock Sunny into next week.

“HEY BOY!” I shouted as I jumped up from the table. The bearded bull turned to look at me with an ugly snarl. I grinned and twisted my hat around like old Stallone in Over The Top. I walked towards the human-bear hybrid, sizing him up the whole way.

“Ya looking for a fight ya big bear looking b@stard?”, I asked as I got closer.

The mammoth shoved Sunny aside and turned to face me. I grinned, and he grinned back as he was flanked by two boys about as big as he was. I sized the three of um up, and knew I was in for a hell of a fight, but it was a fight I was gonna have to have.

“You three big sum bitches need to gang up on one man?”, I ask as I look at the three of them.

They looked at each other and all three began to chuckle. The big boy leader who started this whole mess spoke up, “we don’t need too, but we gonna”.

I saw Sunny grabbing a pool cue and getting ready to brawl. I grinned and prepared for battle.

Well, shoot fire, guess I’m your Huckleberry boys.

Every now and then ya gotta take it on the chin

Gotta turn the other cheek

But then there's times your old stubborn pride

Don't back down so easily

And you got no choice but to let your voice

Be heard and hold your ground

And that's the point that he'll get the point

And he'll probably back down

But if he bows up and steps across that line

Ya gotta whoop a man's ass sometimes

To be continued…

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