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Mr. Radio · **08-04-2013, 06:18 PM**

Where the Fuck am I?

I walked out of my house that I had purchased in sunny Philadelphia and smelled the fresh air. "note to self, never do that again..." I then started to walk down the street and saw some people peeking out of their windows staring at me, I looked back at some of the people that were looking at me through their windows. Then I noticed that I was being followed by some creepy guy in a trench coat, a top hat, and orange skin. I looked at him and asked him why the fuck he was following me and how long he had been doing so. He just started grumbling and then unbuttoned his coat a bit. I backed up a bit and asked him to please not take that coat off and to leave me the hell alone. He then ripped open his coat and it turned out that the guy was a muscular tan juice head. He was wearing a purple thong and pulled out a poster and it read "Playboy bunny house grand opening be there or miss out on all of the "meaty" fun!" I looked back up at the juice head and rose an eyebrow and I smacked the poster on his chest and told him to fuck off. As I turned my back on him I heard him start to talk. He started to say that I just made a mistake, The girls there would really love me, they would rub my face, touch my legs, lick my abs. I turned around and pointed at him and told him to shut up. I then turned around again and then then he asked me if I was into guys if I wasn't interested in the girls. That's were I cross the line! I turned around and told him to never ever say that I am Homo sexual. I love my women and I told him that I would be there. Did I just fall into a trap? I don't care this juice head just questioned my manhood and I had to prove him wrong. I started to walk down the sidewalk and looked at all of the trees and house, I looked at the blue sky and I nodded my head. I continued down the sidewalk and noticed the gas station to the left of me across the street. I thought if I should go buy a water bottle or not. Then I heard some women giggling in a convertible driving up to me. It was a hot pink car and that same juice head was driving and there were four half naked women sitting in all of the seats. He did some weird signal with hands, it was him lifting his thumb and pinky and shaking his hands. He asked me if I wanted to hop in the back with the ladies and drive to the Playboy house with him. Dammit, This is so not professional... I'm suppose to be a war Commander and legend of the Command Army and now I'm being asked to go to a Playboy house with half naked women and an orange Juice head... This planet sucks.

I mean I might as well have some fun right? but, If I go I might end up high...like last time...I would rather not bring that up ever again. Fuck it I'm getting in the car. I jumped in the back seat and three of the girls started to cuddle with me. They had this weird smell on them, it smelled like disgusting human perfume. The Juice head pulled into the garage of a giant pink house with a black bunny head in the middle of the building. The juice head hopped out of the car and told me and the ladies to follow him. I got out and walked into a big room with women of all kinds. Black, White, Asian, Mexican, Blasian. Halfrican, Whixican, Blacxican, you name it. Then I saw another guy walk in he looked familiar. He looked like this.
[Image: 40378_pro.jpg]

I heard a couple girls say Neil Patrick Harris others called him NPH. He must be some kind of god in the eyes of women. He looked pretty gay to me. He walked up to this one girl with huge knockers, I mean seriously this girls meat flabs were like Double F's. He grabbed her hand and pulled her to a back room. I asked the Juice head what the fuck I was suppose to do. He pulled a Zipper down his back and out popped an older women with Double D's that were obviously fake tits. I then asked myself what the fuck was I doing here. I sat down on a bench and thought to myself and out of nowhere this girl sat on my crotch and started bouncing up and down. He pushed her down and asked her what the fuck she was doing., She then pulled out a whistle and I saw that one hallway and that Neil guy ran out with his clothes all fucked up. The older woman told all of the girls to get the two men and kill us. Neil looked at me and told me to steal that convertible. I jumped in and hot wired it.

Neil jumped in the passenger seat and yelled at me to Drive. He speeded off and started driving down the road. while getting shot at with weak lead bullets. Neil Patrick Harris looked completely out of it, His eyes were glazed, he had a bag of mushrooms and he was eating them. Doesn't that shit fuck you up or something? I asked him why he was eating mushrooms and he said that I can try one and only one because they were his. I grabbed one mushroom and started to eat it. My eyes started to enlarge and then I started to see stuff on the road while I drove. I swerved around an eight foot penguin and screamed as loud as I could. Neil screamed along with me. I asked him why he screamed, and he said that there was a thirteen foot tall kitty cat running at us. I asked him where and he pointed to the left of us. I looked to the left and saw a grass field and then I squinted and out of nowhere there was the cat! I started to spin out of control. I drove right into a giant fat hippo. The car didn't even get scratched but how? what the fuck was going on? Where the Fuck am I? What the Fuck is the meaning of Life as we know it? Why am I here with Neil Patrick Harris? Isn't there a rumble tomorrow? Why am I asking myself so many questions? I jumped out of the car and suddenly started to sweat like crazy. Neil Patrick Harris jumped on a unicorn and told me that this was his destiny and he started to ride up a rainbow. I started to wave goodbye and then I turned around and there was a Fairy with purple hair and a grass dress. She started asking me if I was ok. I looked at her boobs and smirked and fainted.

I woke up next to a blonde girl and we were both naked. I remember absolutely nothing. I woke her up and asked her who she was and why I was here. She told me that her, me, and Neil Patrick Harris all went to the mall and went o Spencer's what ever the fuck that is and bought a Vibrating penis, a Cat Daddy shirt and poster which was hanging on my wall...How the Fuck did I get home? I saw a whole box of plastic boobies that are squeezable and when you do so the nipples get bigger. The bed then Bounced a bit and the next thing I knew Neil Patrick Harris crawled out of under the bed with Jason Segal, and Alyson Hannigan. Those three are from some TV show aren't they? I asked everyone to just get the fuck out. I grabbed the Girls arm and asked her if I was good. She bit her lip and touched my chin. I then told that, that didn't answer my question! She laughed and left. I put my head back down on my pillow which was placed firmly on my bed and went back to sleep.

Threaded Mode \| Linear Mode Mike Radio in "Where the Fuck am I?" (RP 3)
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