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Hanari Carnes · (06-15-2022)

XWF TV cuts to a beautiful view of a travel agency video for the Dominican Republic.

"Sitting on the eastern tip of the Dominican Republic, Punta Cana is a sun-soaked coastal town consisting almost solely of beaches, resorts and tourist amenities. The ultimate beach getaway, Punta Cana was made for vacationers seeking rest and relaxation with a beautiful Caribbean atmosphere and a laid-back attitude."

It pans to a shot of a black Mercedes C-class being valet parked at Punta Cana International Airport. Then, panning inside the airport, it showed a flight from Punta Cana to Columbus, Ohio, on the "Departure's" board. Hanari was sitting by the bar near the gate, his dress shirt open slightly to reveal a muscle-bound chest and a golden chain with MM as the pendant. He has one hand around a glass filled about half way with a clear liquid. Grinning at the camera he raises the other into view. In his other hand is a flash drive that says "LA ADVERTENCIA (THE WARNING). Hanari winks at the camera as he begins to laugh to himself, taking a sip of the cocktail.

Static.

[Image: xVtcvsX.gif]

When XWF TV comes back on, it shows Hanari, in the same outfit as the airport, only this time the shirt is buttoned. He ashes a cigar into a glass ash tray with his two front finger, then looks into the camera, shifting to get comfortable in the seat.

"Remember me?

The most dangerous man in professional wrestling is back. The name Hanari Carnes may be dead to a lot of people around here, and virtually nonexistent to a lot of the new 'talent' around here. That's fine ese, I wouldn't want it any other way.

A lot of you, whether you missed me or not, probably wondered where Hanari Carnes has been for all this time. The answer was sitting in a cabana on the beach back home in the Dominican, sipping Pina Colada's and smoking on the finest Cubano's while a bad mamacita rubbed my feet. You see, XWF was good to me in many ways. Put the win-loss record aside, put the all the time I wasted in Chaotic Inc. pretending to be the henchman for an ego-maniac while building a solo reputation aside, the fact that I almost single handedly took down APEX, put it all aside. "The most dangerous man in the business" was not a title I came up with, but rather one that I earned. That repuation earned me a lot of dollars, and made my life a lot easier. I didn't need to prove a point anymore, because I had done it all. Not only had I held all of the major belts in this company at the time, made it to the finals of War Games, and came within a hair folical of beating that bola de mierda Shawn Warstein for the richest prize in the game, but I had put more people on the shelf than silicone Roxy Cotton has in her tetas, chico. That had earned me a lot of zero's on my paychecks. They began booking me in more and more brutal matches, and it began to take a tole on my body as well.

The XWF just wasn't beneficial to me anymore.

I did what I needed to do, and proved what I needed to prove. I did in a year and a half what some people can't do in their entire careers.

So why come back, then? Why bother to come back to the ring, to spoil Masterminds little return? The answer is quite simple, really.

Because I can.

You see, Mastermind was someone that when I first began in this company, was the Television Campeón. He had some big long streak on his quest to be Universal Campeón. He held the belt for 129 days, the second longest ever, and I took that away from him. In my second match ever I took away his hopes and dreams and brought him crashing back down to the level he belongs at. I exposed him, chico, and it launched my career. It made me who I was, it chiseled my name into the respect stone. From that moment forward, I showed that I could hang with the big dogs, that I was going to be someone around here. I broke his arm, I put him on the shelf, and his career was never the same again.

Now he wants to come back with some feel good story about his health. He wants us to pity him, to pat him on his back, to tell us how much they missed him. He WANTS to be the underdog. He doesn't want to be dominant, he does not want to be feared. He wants to be cuddled and told how cute he is like the little bitch boy baby we know him to be.

So I sat back, I watched XWF weekly with a nice Casamigos on de rocks and a fat cubano, and I saw that Mastermind wants to make his return. He wants to come back now that the coast es clear, and try to make a name for himself off of the the situation that I put him in.

No, no no no no ese, I cannot allow that to happen.

I had to crash the party and lay out the challenge. Is he back and better than ever or is he still the over-hyped piece of garbage he always was? I want closure, and I know a lot of you do as well. Hanari Carnes, Mastermind, one more time. It's got that big fight feel, right? That bubbling animosity, of revenge, of hatred, a story that even Shakespeare couldn't write.

What does he do?

He cowers away in fear. He sicks his stooges on me, puffing out his chest and giving me a 3-on-1 match that I have to win before I can get my hands on him. Throwing me into this match with the utmost confidence against three 'competitors' who have less wins collectively than I do in my short career. I must beat all three at one time like its some sort of accomplishment. Like it is going to be a feat damn near impossible.

So it is you who keeps the term "douche" alive and kicking, eh? Hombre, I get it, you're a 'legend' and such, but you take the cake when it comes to the term "pretentious cocksucker". Smile a little wider, pretty boy, I think you still have some nut on your teeth.

Chico, let me tell you something.

I will not only beat them, but I will end them. I will put each one of them in a cast and make them re-think their loyalty to you. I will beat each one of them within an inch of their pathetic lives, and make the example of them that you hope they make of me. Kris The Hammer Von Bonn, Melanie 'Crayzee' Childs, and Scarlet 'The Hunteress' have just been fed to the hungry wolf. The apex predator, the man who has no feelings. The man who LIKES to hurt people. Is that why you haven't said anything yet? Is that why you haven't written a check with your mouth that your asses can't cash? Is that why you all haven't come out with some over the top promo laden with corny jokes and insults even a 1st grader would scoff at?

Is it fear? Fear that June 22nd will be the final night of your careers? Fear that when you're screaming in pain, begging me not to snap the bone into two pieces, that your precious Mastermind will be nowhere to be found? Fear that he may be an even bigger coward than the three of you are? If I were you three, I'd keep my mouths closed. I would pack up suitcases, get in touch with a travel agency, get your passports renewed and get the hell out of dodge. If you choose to respond, it will only get worse for you. Heed that warning if you so choose, or don't. But just know that Hanari Carnes is on his way to Columbus and he isn't in the mood to fuck around.

I AM going to make you tap, all three. I AM going to break your arms and I AM going to to go on to War Games and show the world just how much of a fraud Mastermind truly is.

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