HGH
- vs -
Bartholomew "Boots" Lichter
- vs -
John Black
Referee: HoloRef Dot Gif
Big Money Oswald
- vs -
Jason Cashe X-Treme Rules!
Referee: Virginia Hymen
Barney Green
- vs -
Big Preesh Electric Chair Match!
The winner will strap the loser into an electric chair at ringside and throw the switch!
Referee: Richard Wang
CENTRUBION
(Centurion & Ruby)
- vs -
John Caedus & Arcana Tornado Tag Team Rules!
1 RP per team - all four will be legal at the same time in the ring!
Referee: Chaz Bobo
NON-TITLE
Elijah Martin (w/ Lexi Gold) - vs -
Lord Raab (w/ TBD) Throw In The Towel Match!
Lexi will accompany Elijah and hold a towel marked for him, and Raab will bring a second to do the same. Whoever's second throws in the towel will lose this match!
Referee: John X
PYRO TO THE MAX!!!!!
Out here in KANSAS they believe in FREEDOM, so there’s no sissypants restrictions on fireworks. As a result, Vinnie Lane made sure they brought out the experimental stuff. The HYDRO bomb of fireworks.
The sky looks like daytime as a result of all the artillery going off in the air, and even after the pops stop, there’s an eerie glow. Were those things radioactive?
Drones fly through the crowd, filming the eager Kansas fans and their signs…
LORD RAAB IS GREASED UP AND READY TO GO!
I SAW RUBY NAKED ONLINE ONCE
CHARLIE NICKLES ATTACKED MY DAD
Eventually, the cambots whir their way down to ringside where the announce table is set up - and sitting there as always are the pair of “Loverboy” Vinnie Lane and Bama T., with his lovable puppy Sassafras in his lap!
Vinnie Lane: “Hey everyone! Welcome to Kansas! Welcome to Anarchy!”
Bama: “We are DEFINITELY in Kansas anymore, Vinnie! I even brought my little dog too!”
Bama holds Sassy up for the cameras to soak in.
Vinnie Lane: “We sure are, Bammer! And we’re giving these midwestern folks some memories to last a lifetime while we’re here! Talk about action - we’ve got Jason Cashe and Big Money Oswald in an X-TREME RULES matchup! Not to mention Barney Green and Preesh in a wild electric chair match!”
Bama: “You ain’t lying, bossman! I’m pumped up for that tornado tag team encounter between CENTRUBION and Arcana and Caedus! And we got us a heck of a main event with the new Anarchy Champion Elijah Martin taking on Lord Raab in a non-title affair!”
Vinnie Lane: “It’s gonna get wild for sure, dude, so let’s not waste any time… let’s go to the ring for our opener, a triple threat between John Black, Boots Lichter, and HGH!”
Vinnie grins from ear to ear as the POV shifts to the ring.
HGH
- vs -
Bartholomew "Boots" Lichter
- vs -
John Black
Referee: HoloRef Dot Gif
Harmon walks out onto the stage, giving his best smug smile to the crowd as he makes his way down to the ring, giving taps to his cheek to some of the more rowdy fans in attendance, smirking as he gets close to one of the children, who takes a swing but he backs up easily, dodging the hit before flipping the kid his middle finger, then showed it to the parents before continuing on only to get attacked by Boots who donkey punches HGH, sending him to the ground!
Boots stands tall grinning ear to ear before walking up and into the ring, as medics check on HGH as their opponent comes out.
We see the X-Tron come to life, and we see "John Black" name shot up with the .38 special, and we see him at the stage in a black and white setting as he standing there taking in the mixed reactions. Then he walks down to the ramp, and he gives them some high fives, then he climbs on the steel steps and enters the ring, and he raises his fist in the air as he pounds his chest around the ring as his theme cuts off.
The medics look at HGH, who is groggily standing to his feet. He makes his way to the ring, as the ref shrugs with the medics who seem to just allow this to happen.
Once he is in the ring, the bell is rung, as HGH immediately runs after Boots, hitting him with a terrible looking tackle as he begins to lay in the punches. While this is happening, JB is just resting up against the ropes, watching the two get it on. Boots blocks one of the punches and reverses positions as the two begin to scrap while rolling on the mat. JB rolls his eyes, bouncing off the ropes and performing a basement drop kick, one foot for each head, knocking them apart from one another as the two hold their heads and JB walks over to Boots, and pulling him up only to begin lay haymakers straight to the midsection of the man.
Vinnie Lane: "Damn, dude! Those shots look like they're going to break Boots' lower ribs!"
Bama: "You're telling me!"
Vinnie just slowly turns his head at Bama
Vinnie Lane: "No crud."
Bama continues to look at the action in the ring as HGH gets up from the second big blow to his head, and comes up from behind JB with a clothesline, dropping him face first to the ground as Boots rests up against the ropes, only to get his own clothesline, causing him to roll off the top rope and fall side first onto the edge of the ring, and straight onto his back on the ground outside the ring.
Bama: "No crud indeed, Lane!"
Vinnie just turns back to look at the ring, placing his hand on the microphone, trying to lower as much of his voice as possible when he mutters
Vinnie Lane: "Why are you the way that you are?"
He uncovers his microphone and catches in time a roll up from JB, who took advantage of HGH's positioning after knocking Boots to the ground and the ref slides into position!
Vinnie Lane: "Looks like JB is going for the early win!"
The ref begins to count
1!
2!!
KICK-OUT!
As the two are about to get their bearings again, as if in one fluid motion, HGH tries to do his own roll up but barely gets a 1 from the ref as JB kicks out and performs a slick looking DDT to Hays!
Vinnie Lane: "That was sick!"
Bama: "Yup!"
As Boots is recovering, Jefferson Cheney walks out to the ringside area, worried about his son, offering words of encouragement and checking out his health. Boots assures his father that he's fine as he gets to his feet slowly, with an arm pressed against his abdomen where he took so much abuse from JB and the ring itself as he uses the other hand to pull himself up to the side of the ring and gets inside. As Hays and JB get to their feet, a somewhat more rested, but just as hurt Boots grabs both men and slam their heads into one another, forcing them to headbutt each other, causing HGH to fall to the ground, as if he got knocked out, while JB just rubs his head.
Vinnie Lane: "I think Hays may have a concussion, dudes! Can we get some medical help out here again?"
The same medics come out to the ring and pull HGH from the ring so that they can examine him. As this happens, Boots begins chopping at JB's chest, before whipping him into the corner turnbuckle and following it up with a lariat, causing Black's feet to fly up off the ground for a moment before landing to keep him upright, only for Boots to sling him into the opposite corner, following it up with another lariat. He seems to go for another whip, only to hold on and pull JB back to him and performing a belly to belly slam! As he gets up, he begins to stomp on JB's chest to give him a taste of his own medicine!
Bama: "Looks like Boots is giving the boots to JB, medium style!"
Lane's face twists a bit, as if he just had a mini-stroke from hearing something so stupid, as he continues to watch the action in the ring, trying to get his mind off of what Bama just said only to look and see HGH stirring and slowly getting back to his feet as the medics clear him to go back in.
Vinnie Lane: "Looks like all that money we totally pay the medical crew is paying off as HGH is cleared to continue this match!"
Hays climbs back into the ring, running over to Boots and jumping onto his back as he applies a Sleeper Hold! Boots is starting to fade slowly, as he tries his best to fight off the man trying to put him to sleep! However, once he gets groggy enough, HGH lets go, moving to the front of Bartholomew and performs the Double Dose! After the Hammerlock DDT, he combined it and now has a submission locked on Boots in the style of a Fujiwara Armbar! It has Bart screaming in agony as if his arm is going to get broken. He refuses to tap out, though! His hand seemingly looks like he's about to tap, as it shakes right above the ring mat!
Vinnie Lane: "Is Hays going to do it!? Is he gonna make Lichter tap out?!"
HGH keeps wrenching Lichter's arm, as if he's going to break the damn thing, only for JB to have recovered and walked up behind Hays, yanking him off of Boots, and placing him in position for Blacklisted! He hits it! He goes pin only for Jefferson to get on the side of the ring, beginning to distract the ref! As this happens, Boots whips out some brass knuckles from some space on his attire and knock out Black with one punch and rolls him off of Hays and to the outside of the ring, and then going to pin HGH instead!
Vinnie Lane: "That's dastardly! His old man shouldn't be here! And when did he get those knucks?!"
Jefferson throws his hands up in the air and makes his way down to the ground using the ring steps. The ref turns around, seeing Hays being pinned by Boots now, instead of Black and rushes to count the pin!
1!
2!!
THRE-KICKOUT!!!
Hays managed to get a shoulder up before the three and chants for HGH begin to happen for all the stuff he's been through and still managed to kick out of it all!
Vinnie Lane: "Dude probably has a concussion, and even though he was pissing the people off, he's getting cheered? Only in XWF I guess!"
Bama: "You've got that right, Lane! Only here can a man piss off a crowd and get a concussion and still prove he's worth something to people!"
Lane looks over at Bama, who seems to have a bit of a nosebleed.
Vinnie Lane: "You okay, dude?"
Bama wipes his nose
Bama: "Yup! I get to watch matches like this, live! It's like I'm in the t.v.!"
Boots is seen arguing with the ref, by slapping his hands together three times, and the ref correcting him by putting up two fingers and motioning with by slapping their hands together twice to try and get the point across to Boots.
As this happens, HGH has gotten up groggily, and performs the Injection Shot! As he's about to pin Boots, JB slides into the ring, pulling Harmon around, kicking him hard in the gut and hits him with Tha Underground Noise! A piledriver that delivers more head trauma to Hays who looks like he's knocked out cold!
Vinnie Lane: "JB is gonna do it! He's gonna win!"
As soon as he says that, Boots does This Is Not A Superkick! He lands a devastating looking Superkick to JB's skull and then kicks HGH out of the ring as he pins Black! Jefferson runs over, and as the ref counts, Jefferson sneakily holds on to John's legs to keep him from kicking out, and the ref's vision is obscured!
1!
2!!
Black tries to struggle and kick out at 2.9, but finds he can't!
3!!!
Winner by Pinfall - "Boots" Lichter!
Big Money Oswald
- vs -
Jason Cashe X-Treme Rules!
Referee: Virginia Hymen
Vinnie Lane: “Bama are you ready to take things to the X-Treme?"
Bama: "Always, baby!"
The hymn-like hum vibrates through the area before Lauren Hill soundfully brings in the chorus. Jason Cashe comes out from the back, eyes covered in sunglasses. Looking around the arena at the live audience, his eyes stay hidden behind the shades. Taking a long drag off an air joint, Cashe howls up into the sky, a few fans howl with him..
Tig O'Bitties: "From Houston, Tejas by way of Decatur, Georgia.. A truly Troubled One they call DiOGee.. Jaaaassoooon! CAAAASHE!!"
Stopping as the aisle turns to ringside, Cashe drags a foot creating an imaginary line. This is the line where when passed, the talking stops. He steps into a jog, leaping up on the apron onto his left knee. He stands, ducking under the top rope to enter the ring. Taking off the sunglasses as he enters, he rushes across the ring and launches them deep into the crowd. Growling a roar to the live audience, showing he was ready to scrap.
Vinnie Lane: “Jason Cashe is a guy that's been on my radar outside of the XWF for a long time, Bama. He makes waves everywhere he goes... and that's been the case here on Anarchy too!"
Bama: "The man is a grizzled veteran. And you don't get to be a veteran without learning how to win along the way!"
His music hits, soon the ramp opens up and slowly Oswald begins to rise. His ornate cane planted in the platform, dressed to the nines like always. The crowd starting to chant "MAY-HEM! MAY-HEM! MAY-HEM! MAY-HEM! " Once he was equal to the stage, he flung open his arms to form a t, letting out a loud roar, before grinning as he steps forward, making his way as he slowly unbuttons his suit jacket, his tie, his dress shirt, and unbuttoning the Billion Dollar Championship belt, handing it, his clothes, and the cane, to one of his servants as it appears as he takes his stance to get ready to face off against his opponent.
Vinnie Lane: “Last time we saw Oswald, he was putting his former tag team partner This Watts into the ground! He's gonna look to do the same thing here tonight against the DiOGee!"
Bama: "What the hell does that mean? He's a dog? Like Sassy?"
Sassafras looks at the camera and yaps.
Vinnie Lane: “Something like that."
DING! DING! DING!!!
Once Virginia Hymen calls for the bell, shit gets real really fast, as Cashe and Oswald waste no time going at it. Throwing punches back and forth, Cashe holds his own against the larger Oswald. Money shoves Cashe back with both hands. Jason stumbles into the corner as Oswald takes control of the match... or so he thinks! Jason slips around Oswald and targets the back of his leg with several hard kicks, causing Money Oswald to bend at the knee. Cashe sees his opportunity to slip out of the ring in search of some weaponry. He pulls an object out... IT'S AN IRON PIPE! The fans pop as Jason takes a practice swing on the ring post. Satisfied that it's the right tool for the job, Cashe rolls back into the ring. Jason swings at Oswald, the latter catching the pipe with both hands. The two men begin playing tug-o-war with the lead pipe.
Vinnie Lane: “It doesn't get much more X-TREME than a friggin' pipe!"
Bama: "Someone's gonna get their dang head cracked open!"
Oswald bull rushes Cashe, using his whole body to force Cashe into the corner. A few knees to the abdomen stops Oswald from using the pipe to crush Jason's throat, but he doesn't let go of the weapon. With repeated yanks, the pipe breaks loose from Jason's hands, hitting Oswald right in the face.
Jason takes advantage of the semi-dazed Oswald and moves in with a flurry of attacks, much to the pleasure of the fans. Oswald drops the pipe and fights back, but now Cashe is really laying into him... until Money Oswald grabs Cashe and whips him out of the ring. Jason collides with the barricade before Oswald rolls out of the ring in search of a new toy. He pulls a table out and sets it up as Jason gets back to his feet.
The two men trade a few more punches before Oswald grabs Jason by the hair and smacks his head off the table once, twice, thr-- no! Cashe delivers a series of elbows to Oswald's abdomen before he hits him with a Bell Clap. Oswald stumbles, obviously a little disoriented from all the blows to the head he's been getting. He leans against the barricade... CASHE WITH AN UNBELIEVABLE LEFT-HANDED CLOTHESLINE, SENDING BOTH MEN OVER THE BARRICADE AND INTO THE AUDIENCE! HOLY CRAP!
Vinnie Lane: “Oswald wasn't expecting that southpaw swing! Sometimes even if you do everything right... things go left."
Bama: "My god. You are a boner-fied poet, Vinnie Lane."
Fans offer their drinks, their signs, and even their chairs to the two competitors. Money Oswald nearly breaks one such chair clean in half across the spine of Jason Cashe. Jason is writhing in pain, holding his back and stumbling farther into the crowd. Oswald follows, tossing the chair aside and marching after his opponent. Oswald and Cashe trade heavy blows, weaving through fans, security and other personnel, as the two men battle throughout the Allen Fieldhouse.
They eventually make it back to ringside. Cashe has a gash above his eye from a punch by Oswald, who is flexing his fingers now to make sure he didn't break any. BY GAWD! Oswald puts Cashe THROUGH THE TABLE AT RINGSIDE WITH HIS DELETION FINISHER! The fans are screaming HOLY SHIT!
Both men are exhausted, lying on the floor at ringside and struggling to get back up.
Vinnie Lane: “Oswald just hit the Billion Dollar Move on Jason Cashe... but this isn't falls count anywhere, Bama, he's got to get Cashe's deadweight back into the ring!"
Bama: "Easier said than done, boss. Ozzy ain't moving too nimble..."
Somehow, some way, Cashe slips into the ring first as Oswald follows. A big swing of the iron pipe connects with the side of Oswald's head before he's even stood up. With surreal toughness, Oswald manages to shake off the attack. Cashe takes another swing! It connects! Oswald has been ROCKED! Cashe throws the weapon away and follows up with a kick to the abdomen and a SCRAP ACTION DRIVER! CASHE IS QUICK TO DROP DOWN ON TOP OF OSWALD AS VIRGINIA HYMEN STARTS THE COUNT AND THE FANS LOSE THEIR MINDS!
1!
2!!
3!!!
Winner by Pinfall - Jason Cashe
Vinnie Lane: "IT'S OVER! JASON CASHE HAS WON THE MATCH!"
Bama: "Well he hit him with a dang lead pipe Vinnie! Oswald's still human... ain't he?"
Vinnie Lane: "Apparently!"
Barney Green
- vs -
Big Preesh Electric Chair Match!
The winner will strap the loser into an electric chair at ringside and throw the switch!
Referee: Richard Wang
Vinnie Lane: “Bama this next match is gonna be ELECTRIC! Barney Green, the challenger for the Anarchy Title at Fire and Ice, is entering into a brutal electric chair confrontation with Big Preesh! Check out the chair, they’ve got it all set up over there…”
Vinnie points near the ring.
Bama: “That thing looks painful!”
Vinnie Lane: “Oh it is! This is totally illegal! Wait… hold on, Bam, it seems like there’s some commotion in the back…”
Cameras switch to backstage, where Big Preesh is face down in a puddle of blood. Several buff Drag Queens are pummeling Preesh, and shoving away officials left and right. Nearby, Barney Green is holding a freakin’ ice hockey stick with a big nail through the paddle! And it’s all bloody! JUST LIKE PREESH!!!
“Hedda Lettuce… Biqtch Pudding… Zsa Zsa Hogan… hold him up!”
Barney commands his army of transvestites… and they listen obediently. They pull Preesh up to his knees, and Barney shellacks him with the hockey stick right across the face!
Preesh collapses into a quivering mess on the floor as security rushes into the building, and Barney with his squad make a hasty exit.
Vinnie Lane: “Aw man… I think Barney just KILLED Big Preesh! I mean I hope he didn’t, because Preesh is like our best ring assembler here on Anarchy… but dang it sure looks like he might have!”
Bama: “I know what them sexy ladies didn’t kill… my urge to get down on the ground for some horizontal mambo! You think I can get Barney to gimme their numbers, Vin?”
Vinnie Lane: “ … actually Bama that’s a GREAT idea! I’ll make sure to talk to Barn after we go off the air for you.”
NO CONTEST
CENTRUBION
(Centurion & Ruby)
- vs -
John Caedus & Arcana Tornado Tag Team Rules!
1 RP per team - all four will be legal at the same time in the ring!
Referee: Chaz Bobo
A hush falls over the crowd, and then…
The roof gets blown off by the fans cheering for their SUPER DEAR-O!
Vinnie Lane: “It’s time for a TORNADO to hit Kansas, Bama!”
Bama: “Oh crap! I just got that joke! Got dang!”
Vinnie Lane: “Yeah, kinda flew under the radar with that one… but nevertheless, we are about to witness four incredible Anarchy athletes in the ring at the same time… two versus two… one one team, a pair of former Anarchy Champs… on the other? Maybe a pair of future ones!”
Rubes hits a super pose and then waits for her partner to emerge.
Centurion steps out and gives Ruby a high five. Together they make their way to the ring, cheesing for the crowd as they go. They get into the ring and start stretching in their corner.
The lights fade to almost black and start to flicker. Smoke fills the entranceway as Arcana slowly steps through and stands, hand on her hip surveying the crowd. She runs down the ramp, sliding under the bottom rope, popping up to jump on the nearest turnbuckle, throwing her arms in the air as gold sparkling pyros shoot off.
Vinnie Lane: “Centrubion is one of the most popular teams in the XWF, dude… but they’re gonna have their hands full against Arcana and Caedus. ArCaedus. I think.”
Bama: “Pretty sure that’s right, yeah. Otherwise you’d get JoCana, and that just don’t work, baby.”
Darkness washes throughout the arena and "End of Line" by Daft Punk begins to play. In sync with the beat, spotlights flash on and off with silver filtered illumination; John Caedus steps from behind the curtain and makes his way to the ring with purpose and murderous intent, ignoring the fans completely. Stepping up onto the apron, he swings a leg over the top rope and enters the ring.
Vinnie Lane: “The gang’s all here now… remember, all four of these guys will be in the ring together at once!”
Bama: “It’s gonna be… well… ANARCHY!”
DING! DING! DING!!!
Chaz Bobo calls for the bell and then hits the deck as the two pairs of partners fly across the ring towards each other!
Ruby sends Arcana flying over the top rope with a clothesline, and John Caedus stiffens Centurion with a pop-up euro uppercut!
Caedus then turns to Ruby, who snags him around the head in a RUBY CUTTER!
NO!
Caedus counters by shoving Ruby to the ropes. Ruby rebounds and baseball slides underneath the attempt by John Caedus for a Polish Hammer! Ruby is up, and she hits the second rope for an Asai moonsault! CAUGHT!
John Caedus with a running powerslam!
Vinnie Lane: “Caedus put a lot into that slam, Ruby ate a ton of impact!”
Bama: “John Caedus is a big ol’ hoss, that was over three bills of solid USDA grade man!”
Caedus hooks a leg on Ruby but before Bobo can even hit a one count Centurion is on him with a falling double ax to break it up.
Arcana springboards onto the top rope from the apron and flies at Centurion with a missile dropkick… CENTURION CATCHES HER FEET!
FALL OF ROME!
No! Caedus clobbers Cent from behind with a running forearm, and the UGWC Champion is sent out of the ring, spilling to the concrete floor.
Bama: “That’ll do a number on your bones, Vinnie. That floor is unforgiving!”
Vinnie Lane: “As you know, Bam, we pour X-TRA hard concrete down in every arena we visit. It’s never going to be a soft landing in the XWF!”
Both Caedus and Arcana surround Ruby now, and Caedus grabs her into a powerbomb lift, turning toward the corner… and then Ruby flips backward and sends him staggering into the turnbuckles with a Hero-canrana!
Ruby to her feet, and Arcana locks a Full Nelson onto her!
Bama: “She’s lookin’ for that Talisman, Vinnie!”
Ruby struggles and runs Arcana backward toward the ropes, and Centurion reaches under the bottom from outside and grabs Arcana’s ankles, dropping her to her chest and dragging her out of the ring!
Ruby is free from the hold, but she walks right into a suplex from John Caedus!
No… he holds her upside down for what seems like forever… and then drills her to the mat with a brainbuster!
Bobo with a count!
1!
2!!
Ruby with the shoulder up!
Vinnie Lane: “Close call for Ruby there! That was like three and nine tenths!”
Bama: “Don’t be doin’ that common core crap on me, Vinnie. I only know regular AMERICAN math.”
Centurion back in the ring now, and he drives a knee into Caedus as the big man gets up from his pinning attempt. One swinging neckbreaker later and Caedus is on the mat grabbing at the back of his head.
Centurion helps Ruby to her feet, and as soon as she’s up on her banana-lime boots she takes off running behind Centurion… TOPE CON HERO TO ARCANA ON THE OUTSIDE!
Caedus charges Centurion with a lariat but Cent ducks and grabs him by the wrist… a V-Trigger knee staggers Caedus!
THOUSAND MILE SLAM!!!
Centurion goes for the lateral press…
1!
2!!
Caedus powers free!
Vinnie Lane: “What a match we have happening right in front of us Bammer!”
Bama: “This is non-stop action! Just like you been sayin’ it don’t never slow down!”
Vinnie Lane: “I mean yeah, but that’s not exactly how I say it… nevermind…”
Outside the ring, Arcana and Ruby have gotten back to their feet. Ruby is in control and looking to roll Arc back inside beneath ropes, but Arcana stops the momentum with a foot on the apron and then shoves Ruby hard, sending her toppling into the steps!
Centurion sees this and leans over the top rope to grab at Arcana’s hair, and Arcana is pulled up onto the apron… but then she jumps down to the floor again, guillotining Cent’s head and throat on the rope!
Arcana slides into the ring as Centurion stumbles about, and she grabs him into a fireman’s carry…
ENIGMA!!!
Centurion is flattened and Arcana rolls over him, grabbing both of his legs in a pinning combination!
1!
2!!
Ruby breaks it up!
Vinnie Lane: “Where did she come from!?”
Bama: “I figured she’d still be out on the floor after hitting them stairs!”
Ruby pulls Arcana to her feet…
RUBY CUTTER!
Ruby heads to the top rope, and John Caedus gets to his feet on the apron, rushing toward her…
Vinnie Lane: “This is reminiscent of last Anarchy, when Caedus came running from the back just as Ruby was on the top turnbuckle!”
CENTURION LEAPS THROUGH THE ROPES AND SPEARS JOHN CAEDUS OFF OF THE RING APRON AND INTO THE BARRICADE!!!
RUBY IN THE ROUGH ONTO ARCANA!!!
Ruby drops onto Arcana for a cover!
1!
2!!
3!!!
Winners by Pinfall - CENTRUBION
Bama: “Oh my GAWD what a match that was! That tornado action sent us over the rainbow and back!”
Vinnie Lane: “Well you know what they say, Bama, there’s no place like Anarchy!”
Then, the AnarchoTron blazes to life.
Vinnie Lane: "Oh no, dude! Not this again!"
Bama: "Who's music is this? I swear I've heard it on TV before! From that vampire show! Wait, is this Vita's new music?"
Vinnie Lane: "No, Bama! You heard this music last Wednesday Night Warfare! It means somebody is about to get BEAT DOWN!"
Charlie Nickles steps onto entrance ramp with a barbed-wire baseball bat on his shoulder and the TV championship around his waist. He starts to walk down the entrance ramp with clear confidence in his jaunt. The crowd reacts to Charlie's sudden appearance with a smattering of boos. A few hot dog wrappers and popcorn bags are thrown towards The Nickleman from feisty audience members.
Bama: "This guy has been everywhere lately! He's in every locker room! He's on Warfare, he's on Savage, and now he's even here on Anarchy!"
Vinnie Lane: "It's like there's two of him, maybe even three!"
Cent and Ruby prepare themselves in the ring as they see the madman walking their way with the bat. Caedus and Arcana try to pick themselves back up as they hear the bastard's attack music. But when Charlie sets eyes on John Caedus he suddenly stops. He peers into the ring as he squints his eyes.
Bama: "What's he doing now? I thought this music meant he was going to swing that bat around!"
Vinnie Lane: "No one ever knows what Charlie's doing, Bama!"
Charlie flattens his free hand and brings it up to his forehead as if he were trying to shade his eyes from the lights. Charlie takes one slow step forward as his still gaze rests upon the wrestlers in the ring. John, Centurion, Arcana, and Ruby seem to set their differences aside as they all begin readying themselves for a fight with the Nickleman. Then, suddenly, Charlie lowers his free hand and swings his bat against the guard barrier!
Charlie: GOD DAMN IT!
Bama: "What's he doing?!"
Vinnie Lane: "Bama, for the last time: I have no idea, dude! Charlie wasn't even supposed to be here tonight! Maybe he's coming out because he has unfinished business with Ruby! Maybe he's coming out to attack Arcana and John! Maybe he's just coming out because he heard someone open a beer can in the bleachers!"
Charlie turns to one of the front row audience members and begins to pepper them with aggressive questions.
Charlie: That's not him either?! I swear to god I read his fucking name on the card! How many fucking guys are there that kinda look like Jim?! This is getting ridiculous!
The fan isn't left any time to answer as Charlie quickly fires off the questions before turning back and making his way up the entrance ramp. Charlie can be seen shaking his head and muttering to himself as John and Arcana look on with stunned faces.
Charlie: This guy's getting harder to find than Robert Main!
Charlie is just about to dip through the entrance tunnel, but then out of the corner of his eye he sees a fan dressed in the work attire of a Valvoline mechanic. The man seems to be enjoying the show right after his shift as evidenced by the grime on his suit.
Charlie: THE MECHANIC! TIME TO SCRATCH OFF #2 ON MY HIT LIST!
Vinnie Lane: "Wait...NO, CHARLIE!"
Charlie charges full steam ahead at the fan in the Valvoline outfit and raises his bat. In what feels like a singular second Charlie traverses from the top of the ramp down to this front-row fan's location. Charlie reaches over the security barrier with the bat and rakes the barbed wire against the fan's face! The Valvoline mechanic starts crying blood and immediately retreats deeper into the crowd. Charlie pulls the bat away causing blood to fly off the barbed wire and land on the face's of nearby fans.
Charlie: Ha! That's what you get for cutting me in line you bitch!
Charlie flashes a big friendly smile on his face as he flings the bat over his shoulder and walks up the ramp. The Nickleman walks through the tunnel and into the back. Ruby immediately jumps out of the ring before hopping over the barricade to the crowd. The Super Dear'O makes a beeline towards the injured crowd member.
Bama: "DUDE! This guy's a psycho, he wants beef with anyone and everyone! "
Vinnie Lane: "And I think he just created another lawsuit against the XWF! DANG IT! He should be focusing on his TV title defense on the pay per view, he doesn't need to be doing all this!"
Bama: "Charlie must think he already has that defense locked up! His eyes are on the future and his #1 contender opportunity ON THE NEXT WARFARE! He's trying to get the early advantage by getting into the heads of whoever his opponent may be!"
Ruby makes it through the crowd and links up with the Valvoline mechanic who is bleeding from multiple facial tears. Ruby grimaces at the sight before she begins assisting the injured and panicked fan towards the medical staff.
Vinnie Lane: "All Charlie did was hit a random mechanic in the face!"
Bama T: "The Nickleman just sent a powerful message to the entire Alliance of Automotive Service Providers!"
NON-TITLE
Elijah Martin (w/ Lexi Gold) - vs -
Lord Raab (w/ TBD) Throw In The Towel Match!
Lexi will accompany Elijah and hold a towel marked for him, and Raab will bring a second to do the same. Whoever's second throws in the towel will lose this match!
Referee: John X
Ladies and Gentleman the following contest is scheduled for one fall and is your MAIN EVENT of the evening! It is scheduled for one fall, and the only way to win is to have your corner person throw in the towel.
”Introducing first, about to make his way to the ring… LORD RAAB!
Monster by Skillet plays over the sound system as Lord Raab comes out through the curtain wearing his green and black wrestling trousers with his nickname The Green Disease German Monster on the front of them with Monster Energy logos on the side of his trousers with black gloves on both of his hands and wears a black and green mask and ignores the fans as he goes up the stairs before going in-between the ropes and crouches down in the corner moving backwards and forwards, rubbing his hands and moving his neck around while looking at his opponent with anger in his eyes while waiting for the match to start.
Bama: “Raab came out by himself tonight, he’s got to have someone to throw in the towel, baby!”
And his opponent…”
”Being led to the ring by LEXI GOLD, he is the Anarchy Champion, ELIJAH MARTIN!
The lights on the entrance way go dark as "Blueprint 2" by Jay-Z begins... as the song reaches the 21-second mark and the beat drops, an explosion is heard and the stage lighting comes back up, revealing Elijah Martin standing at the top of the entrance way. After about ten seconds of standing still to take in the crowd in the arena, Martin is joined by Lexi before they casually make their way to the ring, yelling some random things at the crowd on the way.
He walks around to the hard cam side of the ring and hops onto the apron towards the end of the first verse of the song. When the song transitions into the chorus with the beat drop at the 1:25 mark, Martin raises both arms in the air and yells "I'M THE KING, MOTHAFUCKAS!" After a couple of seconds taking in the mix of cheers and boos, Martin steps into the ring and just paces around a couple of times before stopping at his corner and taking an ass bump to sit against the bottom turnbuckle.
Bama: “Here we go!”
DING! DING! DING!!!
Martin jaw jacks with Raab from across the ring, he points out he doesn’t have a corner man which garners a smirk from Lord Raab before he does a finger point towards the entrance ramp…
The Kentucky crowd ERUPTS out of sheer shock as the countdown clock ticks away to zero before breaking into “Judas” by Fozzy. Several seconds later walking out to the top of the ramp is none other than THE MAN himself, “CHRONIC” CHRIS PAGE!
Vinnie Lane: “What the heck is this?! Is Lord Raab CCP Enterprises too?!?!?”
Elijah Martin is completely beside himself in the ring as Chris Page starts to make the walk towards the ring with a white towel over his left shoulder. Elijah points at Page before looking over at Lexi who is equally as confused.
Bama: “You talk about a surprise here on Anarchy!”
Chris Page reaches ringside where he shoots his eyes over towards Lexi, then towards Elijah before climbing up on the ring apron where Lord Raab walks over and gives him a fist bump that sends Martin kicking the bottom rope as Page drops down to the floor taking his position in the corner of Lord Raab. The music fades away.
Vinnie Lane: “Elijah is completely beside himself. Lord Raab has pulled off a huge coup tonight in Kentucky!”
The crowd chants “CCP, CCP, CCP” towards Chris Page at ringside as he motions to himself with his fingers while mouthing the words “Who, me?” before smirking as he places his towel on the apron and claps his hands for Lord Raab. Elijah immediately rolls out to the floor and comes around the ring to confront Page! He starts jaw jacking with Chris, taking his eyes off Raab who slides out to the floor coming up behind Martin where he snatches a back wasit lock and snaps off a German Suplex on the floor!
Raab gets to his feet where he starts putting the boots to Martin! Page can be seen rooting Raab on as he picks up Elijah off the floor before hurling him into the barricade! Raab drops down to both knees where he starts hammering down with a flury of right hands to the head and face of Martin! Lexi looks concerned on the other side of the ring with her towel in hand as Raab’s onslaught on the Anarchy Champion continues!
He gets to his feet where he picks up Martin and hurls him into the ring. Raab tosses the ring apron back where he pulls out a steel chair before sliding into the ring with the chair in hand. He gets to his feet where he looks to clock Martin who is getting to one knee only to walk into a low blow! The chair drops to the mat where Martin takes it and starts clobbering Raab’s body with vicious shot after shot after shot!
Vinnie Lane: “Raab started out hot and heavy but has found himself on the butt end of an assault by Elijah Martin.”
Elijah lands five chair shots to the body of a downed Raab as he shifts his attention towards Page while pointing at the towel. Chris simply shakes his head which draws a shrug from Martin who takes the chair and wedges it between the top and middle turnbuckles. Martin points over at Page demanding the towel be thrown in which garners a middle finger from CCP. Martin shakes his head before picking Raab up off the mat where he takes him by the head and looks to send him smashing face-first off the wedged steel chair! Raab reverses and it’s Martin that is sent smashing face-first off the chair!
Raab locks in a Crossface Chicken Wing on Martin!
Lexi looks on with her towel in her hand as she contemplates throwing it in before Martin is able to counter with a sit-out jawbreaker to break the hold. Martin starts working his way to his feet where he’s got a trickle of blood from his forehead. He picks up Raab hurling him into a neutral corner, Raab bounces off the buckles into a running boot to the face dropping Raab to the mat.
Martin drops down with a blatant choke with both hands across the throat as he makes eye contact with Page on the floor demanding he throw in the towel. Page refuses as the choke continues by Martin until Page finally takes the towel from the corner before climbing up on the apron where he contemplates throwing it in before hopping down to the floor.
Vinnie Lane: “Page refused to throw in the towel!”
Martin releases his choke on Raab as he gets to his feet, he walks over towards Raab's corner where Page is on the floor. He barks out at Page before turning back around where he picks up the steel chair that’s fallen to the mat from the corner. He picks up the chair as he measures Raab who starts to get to his feet. Once he stands Martin comes forward cracking Raab’s skull as he is sent crumbling to the mat.
Martin looks over at Page asking him if he’s going to throw in the towel. Page shakes his head as Martin takes the chair and places it over the head and neck of Raab.
Vinnie Lane: “Martin’s got Raab’s head and neck wedged between that chair!”
Bama: “He’s gon’ cripple the man, Vinnie!”
Elijah backs up to a neutral corner where he climbs up on the middle ropes. Page starts climbing back up on the ring apron with the towel in his hand. He looks over at Elijah as he has the towel in the air in his right hand before suddenly giving Martin a thumbs up with the left hand before turning it into a thumbs down!
An evil smirk starts to find its way on Elijah’s face which is reciprocated by CCP as Elijah jumps off the middle rope stomping on the chair driving it into the throat of Raab!
Page starts to laugh from the apron as he fakes throwing in the towel, only to run his thumb across his throat. Martin picks up Raab where he plants him with The Prologue! Chris straightens his tie as he fakes the towel throw in again only to draw it back.
Martin picks Raab up off the mat where he hits the DBF to the back of Raab’s head, sending him crumbling to the mat! It’s then that Page is satisfied enough to where he throws in the towel on Lord Raab.
Winner by Corner Stoppage - Elijah Martin
The crowd doesn’t know what to think as Chris Page steps through the ropes and into the ring where Elijah Martin comes up and hugs him before ripping off his shirt to reveal “CCP ENTERPRISES” tank top underneath. Chris raises the Anarchy Champions arm in the air as Lexi Gold enters the ring with the Anarchy strap.
Vinnie Lane: “It was a setup the entire time! It was never Lord Raab in CCP Enterprises, it was ELIJAH MARTIN!”
Lexi gives Elijah the title as he kisses her on the lips before raising the title high in the air.
Vinnie Lane: “Just how deep does CCP Enterprises really go? Now he’s got the Anarchy Champion in his ranks.”
Chris Page claps his hands together as EMTs flood the ring checking Raab as they stabilize his neck. Elijah looks into the camera as he spouts out.
“Barney, you're next!”
Anarchy fades to black…
SPECIAL THANKS:
Charlie Nickles
Erica Marie
Chris Page
and
GHOST BY GOD TANK
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