It had only been a handful of hours since she left but Marf was still sitting on the couch in the living room. The television was playing the same highlight package of the night’s sporting events for it’s fourth rerun of the night. Marf had spent hours awake despite needing to sleep for an early start in the morning. He leans back and closes his eyes for a moment, stretching his arms until a soft crack is heard coming from his lower back. Marf takes a long, deep breath and then lets it out before opening his eyes and standing up from the couch.
Marf, almost in daze at this point in the late night, slowly trudges toward the stairs. As if in a zombified state, Marf slowly climbs the stairs up towards their room. He stops halfway to the room, standing in front of Reika’s doorway. Marf pokes his head into her room and looks over at the sweet, adult child thing that somehow became like a daughter to him. She looked completely peaceful all tuckered out in her Paw Patrol bedding. A plush Chase had fallen to the ground so Marf quietly walks over and gently places it back on the bed with Reika and the rest of the Paw Patrol stuffed animals. Something on the wall winks at him but he doesn’t notice.
Marf watches Reika sleep for a few seconds. A soft smile slowly creeps onto his face at how innocent she looks despite the fact she could kill him in a split second with one scream. The banshee adult child was his daughter regardless of the danger it would forever leave him in. He leaves the room quietly and heads into his own room. Marf removes his shirt, old bruises still visible upon his powerful back. Closer inspection could reveal a scar or three. Marf sits down on the bed. Their bed. Maybe just her bed again. He places his head in his hands for a moment and tries to wipe away that sluggish feeling.
God damn I hope she’s here in the morning. I’m tired of all the fighting, all the barbs and snarky comments dropped like grenades at one another. I just want her to be here and be safe. It is unbearable to even think of our weird family being torn apart. This home has been feeling far too empty lately. I have to find a way to pull it all back together again. Christ if we got through werewolf wars and battles with evil djinns we have to get through this shit too. God damn I hope she’s here in the morning.
Marf slowly allows his massive body to fall backwards onto the king sized mattress. He lets out a deep breath, expecting to have a soft landing and some comfy pillows. Instead he simply falls backwards and drops through the mattress and somehow comes out of the ceiling in the hallway. Marf drops to the floor in a heap and let’s out a loud ‘Oof’ before rolling over in pain. Marf uses the bannister to pull himself back up to his feet. As he gets up he pulls his hand away, realizing the bannister is warm and slimy and…scaly.
Marf backs into the wall while looking on in confusion as the entire bannister seems to ripple. It moves again and Marf realizes it has taken on the form of a giant, hideous snake. Before the monstrous thing can turn it’s disgusting head around, Marf runs and leaps over the snake bannister and drops to the living room below. He completely misjudges his jump and misses the couch, smashing through the coffee table instead. Marf slowly pulls himself back up, the massive snake gone thankfully. Marf stops as he gets to his feet and stares at the couch in disbelief.
What in the fuck…?
Marf was only able to stare in shock at what appeared to be himself, sitting unconscious on the couch in front of him. Marf slowly takes a few steps closer and notices his sleeping doppelgänger is frighteningly pale. Marf leans in close to himself and looks at the face, noticing light frost in the short, dark brown stubble. Marf feels a rumbling and takes a step back. Suddenly a burst of bright blue fire engulfs Marf’s double and the couch as well. Marf runs by it and into the basement as the blue flames quickly spread to block the exits.
Marf stumbles down the stairs and almost comes to a crashing halt at the bottom but Damien is there to catch him. Marf gets back to his feet while Damien assists him. They look at one another in confusion, neither really sure how they want to word what they want to say. It takes an extra minute for Marf to realize that Damien is wearing a strange, orange letterman jacket and tight, black gloves. He’s also wearing a tight fitting pair of navy blue jeans as well, something Marf has never seen Damien wear before. As if reading Marf’s mind, Damien cuts him off from speaking.
We gotta move, now!
Damien spins and makes a beeline for a door that never existed before. But it was there now, and Marf followed as Damien exited the basement through the odd, new door. He steps through the crooked door just a few feet behind Damien and immediately has to shield his eyes from the blinding sun. Which was directly at the highest point of the sky despite it being almost three in the morning. Marf stops and pulls a pair of sunglasses out of the pocket of the leather jacket he was now wearing. Marf puts on the sunglasses while Damien looks back at him impatiently.
They begin to cross the large parking lot together, Damien about a half dozen yards ahead of Marf. He checks back behind him at the house but it is now a bus terminal. Marf shakes his head and then looks back up front as Damien approaches a pawn shop. The run down looking spot seemed vaguely familiar to Marf. He eyes it up and down suspiciously as Damien nears the door. Marf speeds up his walk to catch up but as he nears Damien he gets a scolding. Marf stops in surprise as Damien whispers hoarsely at him.
The fuck are you doing!? Go get the car, idiot! I got this!
Marf stops in his tracks as Damien brushes him off and heads into the pawn shop. Marf looks around at the nearly empty parking lot and does not recognize any of the few scattered cars. He shrugs and walks up to a nearby Volkswagen Jetta before checking the doors. They are locked of course but Marf doesn’t care and smashes out the driver side window with his powerful elbow. Marf unlocks the door as surprisingly no alarm is going off. Marf brushes the broken glass from the seat and climbs in. He rips a panel away under the wheel and plays with some wires for a moment until the car roars to life.
No sooner does the car start, Marf hears multiple gun shots from inside the pawn shop. He unlocks the rest of the doors and then opens the passenger door. The door to the pawn shop bursts open and Damien comes running out holding a massive duffel bag. Marf pops the trunk while pulling his seatbelt on. Damien tosses the duffle bag into the trunk and slams it close before jumping into the front seat. Marf is already reversing out before Damien is done closing the door. Marf peels out as a short man comes running out of the pawn shop pointing a shotgun at the car.
Fucking goooo!
Shut the fuck up I’m going!
The angry, short man aims the shotgun and fires as the car begins to take off. The blast explodes the back window out and sends glass all over the back seats while Marf focuses on getting them out of there. As they speed off Marf spots a car hastily pulling up and the short man hops in before it begins to give chase. Marf growls and plants his foot until the pedal is pressed into the floor. Marf swerves into the wrong lane and dodges oncoming traffic while the other car starts to gain on them. Damien glances at Marf with concern before grabbing his gun and turning in his seat to face the back.
Damien aims as best he can while Marf flies along the busy streets of wherever the fuck city they even were in. Damien fires a pair of shots and then hugs his seat as Marf makes a fast, wide turn. Marf brings the car back into the proper lane while do almost double the speed limit. The boom of the shotgun sounds from behind them and just like that the passenger mirror explodes into thousands of pieces and disappears. Damien responds by pointing his gun once more at the empty back window and fires several more shots this time.
Are you fucking hitting anything!? We’re running out of road real quick…
Keep fuckin’ driving! I’ll worry about what’s going on behind us!
Marf manages a quick, sarcastic side glance to Damien.
Nice reassurance…
Marf goes back to looking at the road and his nerves go back to shaking violently. The road has been steadily taking them up the mountainside but he could now see where it stopped up in the distance. Another boom of the shotgun chasing them interrupts Marf’s thoughts. Followed swiftly by the sound of one of the car’s tires blowing out. They waver back and forth dangerously on the road until Marf cranks the wheel and manages to slide the car to a stop just a few feet from the edge of the side of the cliff.
They looked way higher than what Marf thought. He looks over in horror as the chasing car is still approaching them and now quickly catching up. Marf opens the glove box while Damien aims his gun. Marf pulls a small pistol out of the glove box and aims as well. Both men grunt in shock and surprise as the other car does not slow down at all. Instead it comes barrelling into the side of their car, sending them flying over the edge of the cliff and down the side of the mountain.
The car slams hard onto it’s other side and begins rolling, tumbling down the mountain with Marf and Damien trapped inside. The poor Volkswagen rolls over a dozen times until finally slamming into a massive oak tree and stopping. The car drops and tips over onto it’s back before stopping completely. Marf hangs upside down in his seat, blood running from his nose and side of his head. His eyes roll around as he tries to get his bearings. He coughs up some blood before looking around inside the now mangled car.
Damien?
Damien unfortunately never put his seatbelt on and was now a crumpled pile on the floor of the front passenger side. Parts of his body were contorted in ways no person was ever meant to be bent. There was a small amount of blood pooling underneath him but it was impossible to tell where he was even bleeding from. Marf struggles for a moment while staring at the Damien’s body in shock. Finally there is a click as he releases his seatbelt and falls to the ground.
Marf reaches over and shakes Damien’s body while calling out to him but there is no use at this point. Marf yells out in anger and sadness while slamming his fists on the floor mat. He turns to try and open his door but it is jammed and won’t budge at all. Marf looks over to the passenger door and starts to crawl his way over, feeling little shards of glass stabbing into his body. Before he can try the door Marf stops and notices there is snow coming into the car’s broken windows. Marf lies still as he can feel the ground starting to vibrate from something big approaching.
A loud pounding on the outside of the passenger door of the Jetta starts and the car shakes from it. Marf tries to kick his driver side door open but it is mangled too bad to budge. The passenger door screams out in protest as it slowly begins to rip open. Marf looks on in horror as the door wretches free from the hinges and is thrown aside like a small, unwanted toy. A deafening roar fills the car as a massive polar bear looks inside at Marf. The beast reaches a giant paw inside the car and grabs at Marf while he scrambles to avoid the bear.
Marf struggles to break free but the unrelenting monster of a bear reaches the other big paw in and grabs a better hold of Marf. It begins to drag him out of the car while Marf screams and tries to hold the steering wheel. Heavy snow is blowing all around and into the car as the wheel breaks off in Marf’s grip. The beast tears him completely out of the car and starts shaking him violently against the outside of it. Marf tries to fight his way out but the massive beast is too much and envelops him. It continues to shake Marf harder and faster.
…rf! Are y…
Marf screams again before his eyes flutter open. There is no more giant polar bear, no more snow. There isn’t a smashed up car or a dead, broken body anymore. Marf looks forward in shock as Damien shakes him by the shoulders. Marf is no longer in the demented dream and finally back to this so called reality. He is sitting on the living room couch while Damien hovers over him with a mixture or annoyance and concern all over his face. Marf looks back up at Damien and shakes his head slowly.
Dude…you good man?
Sorry…nightmare…my bad…
Damien looks ready to drop a snarky comment but as he looks Marf over he changes his mind.
No big deal, just wanted to stop you from waking up Reika…..you sure you’re okay? You look…paler than usual.
I’m fine…
Damien steps away from the couch and throws his hands up in defense. He starts to walk away as Marf sighs, realizing his reaction might have been too cold, even for him.
Hey look man…I’ve uhh, I have been having a pretty rough time lately and I’ve taken some of my frustrations out on you, especially lately. And that was pretty shitty of me so…for whatever it’s worth…I’m sorry.
Damien stands and stares over at Marf for a moment as if in shock. He cracks a smile and shakes his own head this time.
Hooooooo-leeeeee shit, did you just apologize to me? Aww, Marf cares about me!
Marf scowls and turns around.
Oh fuck off!
Love you too, boo!
Damien pretends to blow a kiss before chuckling and walking to the basement. Marf rolls his eyes and gets up from the couch. He makes his way upstairs as we fade out.
I tried, you lied to me for so long.
Everywhere I go, there's a sense of it.
Freak on my antics and give me a choice,
Doesn't matter if I give a shit, it's shit that you give me.
You can't see California without Marlon Brando's eyes!
You can't see California without Marlon Brando's eyes!
You can't see California without Marlon Brando's eyes!
It's all in your head,
It's all in my head,
It's all in your head,
Yeah!
Do you wanna feel pain? Takin' my name in vain.
Caring never felt so lame, inside.
Anybody else got pride? Do you wanna take my life?
Maybe I'll reverse my ride,
Who the fuck are you? Fuck you!
Better suck it up, 'cause you bled through.
Better get away from me,
Stay the fuck away from me.
I feel safe, seems you're saved.
I feel safe, it seems you're saved.
Look me in my brand new eye,
Look me in my brand new eye!
Sometime a little closer to Bad Medicine…
Marf casually strolls into the view of the camera and what do ya know? Just like that we’re underway with a not-so-friendly smile and wave from our old pal Marf.
Whoa, hey there Schism! It’s me, Marf! Don’t worry I’m right here, happily anticipating our meeting at Bad Medicine. I haven’t gone anywhere nor do I intend to. Hopefully you’re ready and you can put down your fucking journal long enough to have a real match. Cool idea though, totally original I’m sure. Fuck, does this mean you can’t even understand simple promos or even basic words? Your face does have a hint of Down syndrome dancing around it. But hey, that’s cool man, I came prepared!
Marf walks off screen for a moment before returning quickly. He’s dragging a terrified looking man into the room by his tie. The scared deer of a man holds a small laptop against his chest like a safety blanket. Marf forces him to sit on the clearly dirty floor.
I brought in a fucking nerd to type out everything I say so he can send it over to your dumbass. If that becomes to tricky for ya just get your anal amigo Randy Weiner to give it a read for ya. Or perhaps he can whisper them into your ear, like the sweet nothings you’re used to. Read it together and then cuddle while writing out the rest of your little love fantasy in that precious diary. Honestly, no judgments here, I just want you to understand the main point. At Bad Medicine, I win and you lose.
Jesus fucking Christ were you actually attempting to talk about my relationship with Lycana like you have any fucking clue in that tiny, numb skull of yours? First of all, do yourself a favour and shut the absolute fuck up. Hold her back? From fucking what? Stepping up to every cock knocker that ran their mouth with me? Standing by my side when I won the Television title from Charlie Nickles? Or when I stood by her side while she beat the unbeatable Alias for the Xtreme title?
Marf leans forward and shrugs slowly, expecting an answer post haste.
Please, step in anytime and explain exactly what I was holding Lycana back from? She’s main eventing this fucking pay per view, am I holding her back from that too? You fucking moron. Lycana is about to put an end to the fucking King Slayer and whether we’re hanging out together or carving our own paths, I am cheering her on every fucking step of the way. You think because you try to pull some poorly constructed history lesson you actually know what the fuck you’re talking about? Congratulations Schism, you look like a complete and utterly fucking stupid asshole.
Marf leans in once again with a smirk.
I am guessing this isn’t the first time for that. Or the last, you fucking dipshit.
Marf straightens himself back up and attempts to look all proper or some such shit.
Fuck sakes man, I don’t even want to be wasting my time with you. I had more than enough of your monotone bullshit the first go round. And I definitely had more than enough of your lower class stripper asshole smell in the snowman match. But listening to some fuckhead talk for you, about my god damn life? Nah, I don’t think so fuckboy. It is time to pull you out of your acid trip delusion and into the real world where your ass gets kicked, hard. Come on down from the clouds Schism, and get a taste of the real Marf.
Not the made up, clever dictionary bullshit name games you’re attempting to play. It seems you have convinced basically nobody other than yourself that you know anything about me. You certainly love bringing up this dictionary bullshit though. Been spouting off about it since the last time I faced you. You want to play dictionary games? Let’s fucking play! I actually love this idea, get me a fucking dictionary right now squire!
Marf turns and kicks at the poor, scared man that’s been furiously typing on his laptop. He thankfully happens to have a small dictionary that he pulls out of his inside jacket pocket. He tosses it up to Marf.
Hmm, well here’s a great one to start with. Puerile! Childishly foolish, immature or trivial. Can we use it in a sentence? Why certain-god-damn-ly! Everything that comes out of Schism’s dry cum-stained mouth is puerile! Ooo, this is fun, what is next? Well you chose to call me a dissentient so I’ll return the favour and stick with the D since that’s what you crave. Schism you’re simply deficient. Straight up mentally defective, which at least helps explain that Down syndrome shadow.
Okay, I don’t want to play this out but let’s do just one more. Hmm, this one might be my favorite yet! We’re going with a classic, because Schism you truly are a dolt. A dull, stupid person. A fuckin’ blockhead. I swear to god if there were pictures in here this description would be beside your fuckin’ ugly ass face. So tell me Schism, do you want to continue these ridiculous dictionary games or can we finally move on from that bullshit? I know I’m ready to talk about just about anything else.
At this point Marf hurls the dictionary and pegs the frightened man in the head with it.
Now I’m sure some of you precious viewers and snowflakes alike may be asking, do I really think Schism is actually that stupid? Well first of all, the answer is hell yes a thousand times over. And secondly, just listen to this asshole talk. Randy Bo Bandy blurts out all this verbal diarrhea about how I’m not going to hurt you, Schism? He’s either batshit insane or going full . I just had to dumb everything the fuck down for his fried brain. I mean come on, you honestly think I’m not heading into this match wanting to rip you to fucking pieces?
If you don’t Schism, well then Bad Medicine may very well be the last time anyone sees you in a XWF ring. I’m heading into our match with bad intentions. Regardless of how flukey it was, you actually have a win over me. Now it is time for me to return that favour. Don’t worry, we’ll get in there and wrestle it out and you can test your abilities in the craft you yearn to master. Hopefully your fuckboy Randy has taught you more than the back door shuffle and you can keep up with me.
Because I promise you, the second you slow down it is all over for you pal. As soon as you’re unable to keep up I will bring out the weapons and show you just how deep you’ve ventured out into the dark waters. A terribly dangerous thing to do with sharks like me waiting to drag you down below. Right down to my level. And once you’re playing with me in that zone there’s no turning back. Your flesh will be peeled and your blood will be spilt. Only when I’m satisfied with your battery will it finally end.
Marf looks down at his custom stenographer and pats his worried head. He looks up to the camera one last time.
So please Schism, stop giving me cheap history lessons on my past. Stop writing your love notes to Randy the Fuckboy Weber. Stop playing with dictionaries and just brace yourself. A tidal wave of rage and pain is about to crash into your meth riddled ass. You’re about to see why nobody has ever considered me a good person and never will. As for you, shit, you tricked a bunch of dumb saps into thinking you’re worth five minutes of air time. You’re no saint, bub. So come step into the ring with me Schism, it’s about time to force feed you your medicine.
And there he goes, bursting out with heavy laughter while the terrified man sitting beside him realizes he’s pissed himself and we fade out.
2x Xtreme Champion
2x Television Champion
2x Freestyle Champion
5x Heavy Metal Weight Champion
Member of Charlie’s Carnies
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. I just had to dumb everything the fuck down for his fried brain. I mean come on, you honestly think I’m not heading into this match wanting to rip you to fucking pieces?
