Upon hearing the music playing out scene fades into a massive stadium with thousands upon thousands upon thousands filling out this older Greco-Roman style coliseum. A voice-over is heard coming in over the music.


”Ladies and Gentleman welcome back to the 2021 BOB-LYMPICS”


[i]Loud applause from all over the coliseum can be heard amongst the screaming fans as the voice-over is heard once again.


” May I direct your attention towards the table set up on the track for our next event; the One-Hundred Bong Rip Dash.”


We cut to a large table with a black skirt covering it. There are six empty seats all with a water bong in front of them.


” Introducing the participants; first is a man that needs no introduction but I will give him one anyway. Let’s hear it for Snoop Doggy Dog!”







The infamous one emerges out from behind a curtain and jogs out to the table while the crowd roars for his arrival.


” The next participant is a legend in the folk/country music scene. You know him, you love him, he is WILLIE NELSON!”







Another massive ovation is heard as the legendary Willie Nelson emerges out from behind the curtain. He waves to the crowd while walking across the track towards the table.


” The next participants enter as a duo. They are legends, they are CHEECH AND CHONG!







A huge ovation from Cheech and Chong as they walk out from behind the curtain and walk towards the table.


” Introducing our next participant, the one, the only… SETH ROGAN!







Seth emerges out from behind the curtain where he trips over his own two feet on his way towards the table. He recovers and pretends nobody saw a thing. He reaches the table and eyes his competition when the lights suddenly go dark which immediately brings a huge ovation from the massive crowd.


” Introducing our final entrant to the 2021 BOB-LYMPICS One-Hundred Meter Bong Rip Dash…”

















The Roman Coliseum immediately starts to sing along with “Judas” upon the lyrics being heard.


” He is representing BOB as the reigning, defending, UNDISPUTED BONG RIP CHAMPION… “CHRONIC” CHRIS PAGE!”







The crowd pops huge as Chris Page emerges out from behind the curtain as a spotlight shines down on top of him followed by a massive pyro display throughout the Coliseum.







Chris walks across the track towards the table that houses Seth Rogan, Cheech and Chong, Willie Nelson, and Snoop Dog where he sizes up each challenger individually before getting to his empty seat. The music fades away as the lights draw back up.


” The rules are simple; surrounding the track are four different tables twenty-five meters apart. The event starts at Table One where you must rip your bong twenty-five times. From there you sprint down to the next table, complete the table challenge, do twenty-five more bong rips before moving on until you have completed one hundred bong rips!”


All the participants look around at each other. Seth Rogan who is seated in between Tommy Chong and Chris Page turns towards his head towards Chris as he states.


” Are you ready to lose, Page.”


” Eat a bag of dicks, Rogan.”


”The participants may now equip their flames.”


All five take the lighters that have been provided by them while we see five scantly clad ladies walk in front of the table where they load each respective bong before stepping to the side.


”In three, two, one…”





As soon as the gunshot is fired up in the air the bong ripping begins! All the participants start lighting up taking a short, quick pull from the bongs. Smoke starts being exhaled immediately afterward. There are counters behind each participant that tick up with each bong rip. Snoop Dogg takes the early lead followed by Chris Page, Seth Rogan, Cheech, Chong, and Willie Nelson pulling up the rears.

Snoop hits twenty rips first followed closely by Page. Snoop jumps up from the table and starts jogging around the track towards the second table just as Page rips his last hit. He gets up and knocks Seth Rogan’s bong over intentionally as he throws him a middle finger before taking off after Snoop who is nearing the second table where there’s a plate of five scorching hot wings sitting in front of a second bong at each empty seat. Snoop Dogg takes a seat and starts devouring some wings as Chris Page reaches the table taking the seat next to DO-Double-G.






” Good to see you again, Snoop. Shame I got to smoke you under the table, again.”


Page immediately takes two wings and clears them before he starts choking on the sheer heat that they bring. Snoop cocks an eyebrow before spouting out.


” Bitch.”


Snoop and Page finish their wings before being joined by Seth Rogan and Cheech with Tommy Chong in a distance away while Willie Nelson can give no fucks, he’s just smoking. Chris and Snoop start taking bong rips while Seth starts devouring wings before being joined by Cheech who tears into some wings. The bong rips between Page and Snoop continue on as they reach the halfway point before Rogen can start.

Page pulls ahead of Snoop as Cheech finishes his wings while being joined by Chong. Page completes the twenty-five bong rips before pushing his chair away from the table as he takes off towards the third table. Snoop is close behind as he gets up and takes off after Page! The long-legged Snoop Dogg bypasses Page in the sprint only to see Page cag him up causing him to take a tumble on the ground. Back at table two Rogan finishes his bong rips and takes off towards table three just as Page reaches table three, but before you can take a seat and start bong ripping you must first…







Page starts to do his ten turn arounds with the dizzy bat when he’s joined by Snoop and Seth Rogan who jump in as well. Cheech and Chong have seemingly thrown in the towel as they take plates of wings back to table one where they sit down with Willie Nelson to munch and smoke.

Page finishes the dizzy bat before staggering towards the table where he loses his balance and falls on the ground. He gets back up just as Snoop and Rogan finish their ten respective spins and all three hit the third table and start ripping bongs! It’s a highly contested affair, rip after rip, smoke upon smoke you’d think that maybe, just maybe there’s a group of Indians nearby to make out all the smoke signals.

All three finishing the bong rips at the same time where they get up from the table and start sprinting towards the fourth table where…







Rogan reaches the table first followed by Snoop and finally Page. They shotgun a beer before taking their seats where the bong rips start up again! It’s neck and neck between these three as they rip twenty-five times that see Page finish first followed by Rogan and Snoop! Chris Page takes off around the rest of the track with his competitors in close pursuit but to no avail as Chris Page places first by running through a green ribbon followed by Snoop and finally Seth Rogan.

They are near table one where Willie Nelson, Cheech, and Chong are munching on wings and smoking a blunt.


” Took you, boys, long enough.”


Chris Page is awarded the Gold Medal, Snoop is awarded the silver medal while Rogan is given the bronze medal. Chris turns his attention towards Snoop and Rogan where he states.


” You guys know that silver and bronze are for the first and second place loser, right?”


Chris laughs at both men before holding up his Gold Medal to a roar from the crowd. Chris winks at Snoop and Seth before walking over to Willie Nelson where he snatches the blunt out of his hand. He starts puffing on the blunt as the scene fades.

---

Words from the Stoned One:




Finally we get all these mother fuckers in one place at one time. No more bullshit attacks, no more numbers games… no more excuses. BOB versus Apex and Legacy. It’s truly the put your money where your mouth is moments if there ever was one. This shit show has been brewing since Leap of Faith, and now it has come full circle to this one clash of the factions for the ultimate bragging rights. Where the hell do we even start? I suppose the starting point is Leap of Faith itself. After Robert Main embarrassed himself, failing miserably at stepping to me it took all six of you to set the table for briefcase cash in.







Your collective group effort to take away the Universal Championship because none of your lame asses could have done it yourselves. So, here we are, collection time as you six will now finally be held accountable for your actions. The first fucker I want to start with is probably the most nonrelevant nobody that has coat-tailed his way to this payday; Drew Archyle. How many times do we have to do this before you finally come to grips with the fact that you are STILL that guy that hasn’t amounted to shit but Robert Main’s bitch.


It’s the story of your life, dude.


Why do you continue to fight this guy’s battles for him when he doesn’t reciprocate shit. Where the hell was he on Savage? Where has he been outside of jumping into my business? Fucking nowhere doing nothing which is eerily similar to you. And yet here you stand, the lowest man on this totem pole of opponents looking like a lost child that’s in a sea of adults. You aren’t anything special and hold no value to your goddamn team. You are dumb enough to follow Robert around clinging on to this Apex shit like it still means something. News Flash buttercup, Apex hasn’t been about shit since you all came together back at Uprising.


What has Apex accomplished? I mean REALLY accomplished as a unit.


Jack and Shit.


One tag win hardly constitutes you jackasses as being a threat; and when you got Drew anchoring your ship, I can understand why it will sink.







You tried me at March Madness, got skunked. You tried me on Warfare, got skunked, you stuck your nose in my business on Savage, dropped me with that cute little DDT under the pretense of having a hand in a loss… failed there too. You remind me of this chick I knew in high school. I took her virginity and she never left me alone and was always nipping at my ankles with every step I took. This is the last opportunity that you are going to have to save any credibility when it comes to getting any of my goddamn time. An Afterthought isn’t the name of one of Warstein’s finishing moves… it’s you. Every time you have stepped in the ring with me there has been one common denominator… You have always been outsmarted. What the fuck makes you think that Warfare is going to be any goddamn different? You might want to do yourself a favor and get you a matching eyepatch for that other eye of yours because this time I think I might just go ahead and take it.


Better yet I might just throw you to Ozzy and let him beat the fear of God into you.


I crucified you in DC, labeled you a martyr because that’s what you have always been. You can do yourself a favor and avoid me at all costs because if you bring that same lame ass bullshit in my general direction you will show the world that not only do you have a screw loose because you can’t learn from your previous mistakes, but you’re just an idiot. Problem solved. But hey, enjoy the view from Robert’s shadows, and be sure you tell his sister I said hello.







Let’s get to the only man in Apex that is lending it ANY credibility, and coincidentally isn’t tall enough to ride all the rides at Six Flags.







Hey there Jim, nice to meet you. Now you die a fiery goddamn death for you are one of the few within this entire party that I have been looking forward to getting my hands on. Back when I was exploiting Robert all the mother fucker would talk about is this guy name Jim Caedus, and how much of a badass he was. He would tell me stories about your triumphs, and your failures. Yet the one thing he would always do is compare yours and my gift of the gab. He’d say that you and I are two of the best shit talkers in the game. I can remember back at the bWo inaugural PPV “Uprising”. It was like the XWF stopped when you showed back up after you WALKED OUT on everyone that gave a shit about you; the world was buzzing that the great Jim Caedus has finally returned to Professional Wrestling, but you know what my first thought was?


This mother fucker looks like he should be the frontman of the Lollypop Guild.







I’ve seen horseflies bigger than you, and yet somehow you have carved yourself a legacy within the history of the XWF.


… until you met Chris Page.


You and I have been teasing each other here and there; you with your involvement at Leap of Faith, and mine when I destroyed you and Robert in DC. Do you remember that? I left you laying and rearranged your bike. It wasn’t until I saw your beaten little body flopping around on the pavement like a fish out of water that I realized why you ride a bike. It’s not because you want people to think you’re some badass… it’s because when you sit in the driver’s seat of a car you can’t see over the goddamn dashboard unless there are some phone books for you to sit on. Just like I destroyed your bike is exactly how I am going to end you, Jimmy. You are the heartbeat of Apex because Robert hasn’t done a goddamn thing but jump on that little back of yours for you to carry him back into the spotlight that I ripped away from him.


There’s a lot of potential with you, kid.


You must cut the dead weight that you’ve been carrying to fully realize it.


You showed up at the Uprising show with all the fanfare, the talk of the town… and then what? Oh yeah, you are entered into the Leap of Faith Match in which you accomplished what, exactly? You fucking choked! Not only did you choke… you exposed yourself to me which is only going to make the rest of my time on you today a lot less enjoyable for you while being incredibly entertaining for me. How does it feel to know that if you stood up in a chair you still wouldn’t see eye to eye with me? I digress. You exposed your emotions because that’s what drives you. If you want to smack around Jim Caedus just call him a chump that can’t hack it because he’s walked away from everyone once which means it is only a matter of time before he does it again. What I am going to take solace in is being the driving force behind it!


You failed at Leap of Faith losing to COREY of all people!


You sure nailed him to the wall, didn’t ya? Coming back right off jump street to get smacked so hard you shrunk three inches doesn’t help the ego, does it? Everyone wanted to see what the great Jim Caedus would do being thrown into the deep end of the pool; only to fall flat on your face. Thankfully it wasn’t a far fall, right? So you’ll have to excuse the fuck out of me if you mean I am supposed to give two shits about a guy who hasn’t been at the top of his game since 2017. Let me catch you up on things since you took your ball and went home. I am the guy that walked back into this federation in March of 2019 when this place was stale, boring, and complacent. I saw an opportunity to set a federation on fire, and here I stand two and a half years later STILL occupying that spotlight that I snatched upon my arrival while your run on top fell a little short for your liking I’d imagine. Well, it’s not going to change when the playing field is level. Do you even remember what it feels like to be remotely successful? Have you noticed that when you do find success it’s on your own and NOT surrounded by Apex? Take your current position as Xtreme Champion; sure Thad pretty much served it up on a silver platter, but YOU got the pin when it mattered without Robert or Drew, you recaptured the gold that you recently lost at War Games; so I guess congratulations are for exceeding your previous expectations. You do have to hand it to short people, they can’t reach it anyway. So, how does it feel to know that since your BIG return that you haven’t amounted to anything but drizzling shits? And now you have to rely on everyone’s favorite punching bag in Drew, a show up when I want to Robert Main, a quiet as a mouse James Raven, a nothing happening Shawn Warstein, and goofy time traveler in Besty Granger. Fuck man your neck is going to be killing you when this is said and done with all the looking up you’ll be doing, and that’s all before you’re even tagged into the goddamn match.







Don’t worry brother, it’s not your fault you’re vertically challenged… Have you blamed your parents yet? Genetics isn’t a thing in the Caedus household. While I’ve been poking some fun at you doesn’t mean that I don’t see what you CAN do if you put your mind to it, but I question what’s rattling around inside that skull of yours to seriously think that when our paths cross YOU will somehow skate by with a win. You don’t have Duke to do your job for you this week, pal. More importantly for a guy that is emotionally unhinged how are you holding up knowing your second attempt at making your name mean anything other than nostalgia at War Games ended with the same taste of defeat that Leap of Faith brought you? Goddamn dude, I thought you were supposed to be great when it’s clear that you just can’t measure up. Short people are always so oppressed.


I haven’t seen a burial like this since Main and Dolly roasted those nuts over an open fire at War Games!


Talk about a wake-up call with the REAL views of someone you call a brother is. The same can be said for you to him, so now it begs to question why you are fucking around with Main when it’s clear that HE needs you versus your need for him. He exploits you just like I exploited him. He came calling for you under the false narrative that YOU would somehow move the needle in his direction… you were just stupid enough to buy into it. Now you pay the ultimate price for your ignorance. You should have never answered Robert’s call, you should have answered mine. It’s not too late, Jimmy. You can still save yourself and you can save what’s left of your career by finally seeing the light and by doing what you should have done months ago.


Join BOB.


Listen we don’t mind that you must shop at Baby-Gap.


It makes us no never mind that when you wear capris they reach your ankles.


Don’t get me wrong man, I love short people… They’re more down to Earth.


But in all seriousness, I do have a legit question for you. Do short people ever wonder if they can reach their goals?


While this has been fun and games with you, little guy, something that is not going to be funny, something that will not be a game is what the fuck I am going to do to you when we grace that squared circle on Warfare. You are going to find out exactly why I have stood the test of time within this sport we know and love as Professional Wrestling. I am not coming to Atlanta to lose, and neither are the Bastards, Miss Fury, Mr. BOB, or Ozzy. We are coming to fuck some shit up and leave two factions that are allegedly some sort of force in our wake. Your part of history has already been sealed the moment that you stood in that ring at Leap of Faith and took part in ending my reign as Universal Champion. I take that shit more seriously than anything else, and even if you are a 5’8 munchkin doesn’t make you exempted from my wrath. Actions have consequences and consequences have repercussions. What’s going to be great about this if I got all you fuckers in the same place at the same time, so I don’t have to worry about you jumping on me with numbers or vice versa, so when Apex and Legacy come up just a little short you won’t have an excuse to fall back on other than not being good enough to box with BOB.


When it’s all said and done, I promise you that I am going to appreciate the small things; I’ll start by giving you a hug. Just promise me that this impending failure that you’re on a collision course with won’t send you packing your bags and heading back to bum-fuck nowhere to collect your thoughts and question why you came back, to begin with… you know what, fuck it, Jimmy, I hope that it sends you spiraling out of control and you firmly understand that you haven’t ever been anything but a big fish in a small fucking pond. It’s easy to dominate when you don’t have the threats standing firmly in front of you as you do right here, right now. I can sense your anger; I can feel you right now as you listen to my words which puts you exactly where I want you; in the palm of my hands. You aren’t anything but a sideshow that can’t reach my level.







What about you, Betsy.


We didn’t have to wait a long time to rewrite that miscarriage of justice that transpired a few weeks ago inside that Cage now did we. Have you dropped to your knees and played swallow the leader with Robert after he gifts wrapped you that marquee victory only to turn around and squander the momentum on Savage with Dolly? Speaking of you and Dolly, is it remotely possible for either of you to put out any promo that doesn’t involve Corey in some form or fashion? The mother fucker isn’t here so please allow us all to have some peace within the comfort of not having to hear him bitch or complain.


About that win.


Surely you aren’t stupid enough to think it holds any weight with the circumstances surrounding it, right? I had you nailed dead to rights until Robert does what Robert does by refusing to stay out of my business. He’s done to you what he’s done to Drew and Jimbo by luring you in like a child predator showing you handfuls of candy to get you in the back of his van. Once you’re in your locked into making HIM look better versus making yourself a star. You are still that small fish, that supporting player lurking in the background using this rub with BOB to elevate yourself; but you’ve failed. You’ve ended up with nothing meaningful out of any of this but broken dreams. Why the fuck are you even here? You are the Drew Archyle of Legacy in the sense that you have coat-tailed your way into this prime-time position of the backs of your lovely little boyfriend. Nobody can help you now that the playing field is level much like the playing field was level for you back at War Games. What happened again? Oh yeah, that’s right, you failed looking like Gollum with fucking hair. You aren’t going to have a leg to fucking stand on when I am done with you. You’re going to be wishing you never got involved with Chris Page or BOB when this is finally said and done. You have this hardon for Bobby, and yet you can’t fucking beat him. This isn’t going to be any different, and now that I think about it, I don’t have to beat you… I just need to put Bobby between us and he will keep eating your lunch like he’s done every time you have been involved in the same match.






I am bringing your kryptonite to this party which has your knickers in knots.


Not only am I bringing your kryptonite I’m going to smash your means of transportation so we can end the boring nature that is a Betsy Promo by forcing you to live the rest of your life on Planet Earth. Take away everything that makes you special and it leaves you in those ten pounds of shit in a five-pound bag area. The bottom line when it comes to you is kind of like with Caedus; at least this time the sides are even and this tit for tat shit can finally come to an end. One team win, one team loses. This is ours to win. Please, keep that win over me as a feather in your cap because it’s not every day that happens, but it doesn’t take a lot of talent to climb a cage either. Good job. Unfortunately for you while you might be laughing with the victory in your back pocket that wasn’t anything but a battle within this war, and I assure you that on this battleground the war will be determined which will see me laughing last.


Apex and Legacy are both on life support.


Atlanta, Georgia we pull the plug.


But now the bigger question for you, Betsy. How can you go to battle with a group of talent that has done nothing to help YOU? We’re not talking about Robert saving your sweet little cheeks two weeks ago. I am talking about where was your backup at any time that Bobby has had his way with you? Where has your boy toy been while you’ve been left more than a time or two on your back? Where was Robert or Apex when they left you hanging high and dry just like your precious Legacy? Yet you are a team? Sweetie if that’s how your team operates, I don’t want any part of it. At least BOB has each other’s backs and knows what it means to be loyal to each other.







Next on the list is none other than Shawn “I run from fed to fed” Warstein.







Some fucking surprise you ended up being for War Games. Showing up as a replacement just to get skunked by BOB and haven’t been heard from since. I have some unfinished business with you mother fucker, and if this is the final chance for me to resolve it then I am going to use it going out in a blaze of glory. You are and have always been a snake in the grass, a sideline hoe that does an awful lot of talking behind a keyboard; that is until Thunder Knuckles shuts you the fuck down. You are probably more opportunistic than I am, and that’s goddamn hard to beat. I find myself asking myself why the fuck are you here? You can care less about this shit, as never made more obvious than with your spot appearances here or there that translated to what, exactly? Nothing.


The goddamn mystery entrant at the May-Day Battle Royale has more going on than you do.


What you like to do is jump from organization to organization while cherry-picking the weak feds until someone shows up that can punk you out. Rise and fucking repeat. That’s who you are in this business, but I will say this when it comes to your involvement within this tag match. It gives Thunder Knuckles something to sink his teeth into because I can’t wait to sit back and watch him toast that ass in front of the world. Bobby has Betsy’s number just like Thunder Knuckles has yours, don’t deny it. You now are put into a position where it’s time for you to shit or get off the fucking pot. You do not get to have your cake and eat it too like you’ve done with your spot appearances here or there since Leap of Faith. Now you answer for your involvement, and now you get to answer the most important question I could ever ask you.


What the FUCK are you doing saving Robert-FUCKING-Main?


Didn’t you despise him or some shit back in your last Uni run? As a matter of fact, I think I could almost put money on how much shit you slung our way after he ended your myth of being the top guy at War Games 2020 pinning your shoulders to the floor inside the Oval Office. You wanted so bad to put his name on your list of victims only to eat your fucking words, chump. Yet now you are going out of your way to assist him? Or is this because Raven begging you to show up too? He IS known for that. I should know. If you are following Raven like the good little bitch you have become, then that makes this worse for you than even I imagined. You’ve always been one of those guys that have had his head shoved so far up his ass you can chew your food twice.







There’s nothing that’s going to be more satisfying than tacking a “w” on my record within a match that you’re involved in as an opponent. Yeah, of course, you will have the fallback, you’ll have your outs to save a little bit of face but it will still be a win for me and a loss for you. You will no doubt come at me with the Warstein greatest hits like you’ve done EVERY time you’ve been in my presence. Why don’t you slip into something a bit more comfortable, like a coma because a world without Warstein is a much more peaceful place? Hopefully, you show up for this; personally, I have my doubts if you will speak up and say anything worth a flying fuck. What makes me doubt your presence rests with the Bastards being attached to this equation because we all know how fast you and Raven both turn around and head in the other direction when you see them coming.


You can’t run from them now.


You can’t hide behind Twitter to pump yourself up.

‘
You know that feeling that is bubbling up inside them guts; it’s the same feeling you had at War Games the moment you were announced as a substitute against BOB- you’re fucked. You know you’re fucked, and you will always be fucked when you mess with people that can and will make you look like a sad, scared little man that loves to blow smoke. But hey, the good news is once we trash you on Warfare, we won’t have to see that ugly fucking mug of yours anytime soon. We will do the XWF that favor just this one time.


Then we have James Raven in the mix.


Or is he?


I wouldn’t know because much like Shawn his appearances have been sporadic and opportunistic at best while leaving the XWF audience hanging high and dry. Words cannot describe just how much I am REALLY looking forward to seeing you again. It’s been two years since our paths have crossed, and while we have had several dances over the years you are only as good as your last one against the opponent you’re dealing with. How did the last time our paths cross end for you? Allow me to remind you; you were on your back getting eliminated by yours truly. The excitement to relive that history several years later on Warfare gaining another victory over you is just another notch on the resume. That’s all you are to this profession anymore, a notch on the belt of someone like me. I bet you’re wishing you never picked up that phone in February of 2019 and contacted me. You brought me back to this company and high-tailed it not too long after. You aren’t the attraction that you once were and are far from the threat that you think your name carries. You and Warstein run away from people that want a piece of you but now much like him you are tied into this party if you want to be or not.


Legacy is a fucking joke.


Always have been. Always will be.


And now that you and Warstein are going to look across that ring at the Bastards; the one team that you have run and hide from more times than we care to count. Don’t get me wrong when it comes to you and Warstein; while if the time comes and our paths cross I’ll be more than happy to kick the dog shit out of you one way or the other… but if the time presents itself for Bobby to rip Raven’s throat out or Thunder Knuckles shoves his foot so far up Shawn’s ass that the water out of his knee quenches his thirst trust and believe that I will step to the side because I would love to see them tear into both of you seeing as it’s the only time we might ever see it with how fast your tails fucking tuck the moment either of their names is mentioned. But please, continue to think that you make a difference in this foregone conclusion that is a massive tag team match and we will continue to call you a fucking prick that is totally out for anything that betters yourself versus what betters the business that you have been competing in. Your reality is that of everyone else attached to it on your side of the equation when it comes to backing the wrong set of horses. It’s not too late for you and Shawn to continue playing ghost and not show up. It will be the only way to save yourselves from the goddamn disaster you will no doubt be walking into. How you play this is up to you, but you know if you cross my path the only Raven that will be left is a goddamn dead one.







This brings me all the way around to you… Robert.


The Relentless challenge has been issued; the match type has been determined which now means the only thing that’s left is hearing you accept it. This war between you and I has been ongoing for way, way too long and now the time has come for you to man the fuck up and meet me in the ring at the biggest show of the year in which this Twelve Person Shindig has some value to that upcoming affair. Three Stages of Hell await us both, and while I would love to rip you fucking apart here and now… why? It will take the fun away from what I have in store for you to come to the show of shows. You pride yourself on collaborating, and you have brought forth a team that you seem to think might be unstoppable when it comes to little ole BOB, yet again you are going to be on the short end of the stick because the team that I have put together is fucking hungry to eat Apex and Legacy up.







I want to thank you for getting Raven and Warstein on the ring apron for the Bastards to play with for a resume stamp. You have put your faith in the wrong fucking people for something carries some stakes for you and me for when BOB defeats Apex and Legacy your First Stage of Hell is going to be named by yours truly. The fun and games between you and I are all but over, this human game of chess only has so many moves left to make on your side of the board… none of them lead to checkmate, bud. I am the guy that is going to take everything else away from you. Much like everyone else involved this is now a level playing field. You got your team, I’ve got mine. Let’s see how this fucking shakes out. I want you to know that I am not going to waste any material now that matters; so instead when it comes to you specifically, I’ll leave YOU with this.


You say that you don’t like me, you despise me, you say I am out of touch... but watch everything I do. Then let’s face it you’re a fan.







The sheer fact that Apex and Legacy have come together to deal with BOB only establishes the Brotherhood of Baddies as the most credible faction in the business today. You dumb fuckers try to isolate, try to pick apart this dominant group, this collective group that legitimately has taken not only the XWF by storm but has representation and championships within other organizations as well. Naturally, I am throwing some of this shine on Them No Good Bastards; some say the crown jewels of BOB, and I would be hard-pressed to try to negate those words. Thunder Knuckles and Bobby Bourbon have sat back picking each and every team off like a couple of fucking sharpshooters left and right. These two guys have taken Tag Team Wrestling from good to great throughout 2021. They grabbed a division by the horns and revolutionized it. They are the BEST Tag Team Wrestlers in the game today, and they’re teaming with a guy who currently holds the longest reign since 2019. Of the six members of BOB, you have half of us who not only have dominated tag team wrestling but have share a common goal. Victory at any at all costs. We are going to a goddamn war with the biggest chips on our shoulders and something so much bigger in mind than just claiming a victory. Oh no, that’s all but a given considering the rest of this team that’s coming to the table. We are coming to make examples out of all six of you in our own ways.


Miss Fury, the love of my life is practically counting down the seconds until this opening bell tolls. She’s pacing back and forth ready to tear into any of your flesh before ripping it from the bones. Fuck, if I am any of you Miss Fury is the one my eyes are on the most because she is the one with the biggest chip on her shoulder but also has the worst taste for blood between us all. My girl is going to light up as many of you chumps as she wants to because you six pieces of trash don’t know the first goddamn thing about teamwork or being a family. BOB is more than just an organization created to wreck fucking havoc upon the XWF. The true nature of BOB is in the fucking name, Brotherhood. Where’s the brotherhood with Apex and Legacy? I’ll tell you where; it’s crammed so far up Robert Main’s ass right beside his career. The Bastards, Miss Fury, Chris Page, Ozzy are more in sync with what our intentions are, we’re more together than we’ve ever been before, and we all know that this is our stand.


Big Money Ozzy is another guy that has stepped his goddamn game up to the degree that he’s captured the Anarchy Championship and is headed towards Relentless to make his first title defense. Scoff your heads at the accomplishment and label him as the weakest link; I did, and here I stand eating my fucking words because the big man is making some fucking moves. He opened the eyes of the masses at War Games, he never gave up on his goal of attaining the Anarchy Championship, and here he stands reaping those spoils. You may all come at Ozzy professing him as a weak link but in the real world, there’s not a weak link present within the Brotherhood. Where some are weak others are strong. It’s called complimenting each other’s style. We are the breath in the lungs of the Xtreme Wrestling Federation, we have carried the ball for over a year while single-handedly changing the narrative of the company while factions like Apex and Legacy have been riding on their reputations to carry them to anything of substance. None of you can walk away from the beatings that are going to come, none of you are ready for the goddamn war that’s going to unfold inside that Mercedes Benz Stadium in Atlanta, Georgia because BOB isn’t coming to play nice.


Speaking of BOB that brings me to Mr. BOB.


The strongest anchor anyone could ask for, and yet the same guy that you will no doubt downplay. It’s like none of you are smart enough to realize that when we come at you with a robot that there’s clearly more to the equation. When I first found out who Mr. BOB is patented after my mind was blown, and while Bobby and TK have had to work out some kinks, I believe it’s safe to say that Mr. BOB is not only ready to compete I would be hard-pressed if I didn’t say he might steal the show, and in the process open your eyes to a bigger picture that you might have missed along the way. There’s an awful lot at stake for BOB this week alone when you think about Warfare and then what immediately follows Warfare on Anarchy. This COULD BE the final outing as BOB if Lord Raab and Vinnie Lane have their way, so if this is our last dance you can goddamn believe that we are going out with a mother fucking bang at the expense of Apex and Legacy. The time for talk is over, all the attacks here and there have been trivial but they have led us to this one moment, this one match in which the odds are even and one group is going to survive.


I never said it would be easy. We never expected it to be…


We know the stakes and we know what a win is going to do at the expense of all of you. The single biggest advantage we have over all of you revolves around just how tight we are as a team, how well oiled we are going to be, the surgical precision that we shall use to carve you open and watch you bleed out… We are the definition of a family while you are six individuals that wouldn’t know what family means if your lives depended on it. This is the last stand for Apex, it’s the last stand for Legacy for when the smoke clears and the dust settles there will be but ONE faction that is standing tall; the Brotherhood of Baddies. It’s not our fault that your chump stains got played. It’s yours.


… If you think that WE are the only people out there that want to fuck your worlds up then might I suggest you pay closer attention to your surroundings than you have, just a rumor.

- HALL OF LEGENDS 2019
- 2019 Heel of the Year
- 2019 Locker Room Leader of the Year
- 2019 Feud of the Year w. Robert Main (you’re welcome)
- Former


With Robert "The Omega" Main

XWF World Heavyweight Champion