Previously on STAR TREK: THE BASTARD GENERATION Said:


As the Predator exists its ship, its cybernetic suit detects a single xenomorph, the cybernetic suit locks the target and blows its head off.


OH, MAN!


Poor Stephen spoke when it was time for quietness the Predator's suit locks onto him and blows his head off with its pulse cannon. spraying Stephen's blood all over both Commander Bourbon and Thunder Knuckles. Them No Good bastards get into their fighting positions and the scene fades to black.

With the Predator here for the ultimate hunt. The scene begins with Commanders Bourbon and Knuckles posed in their fighting positions. The camera pans back to the Predator a clicking sound could be heard. The Predators pulse cannon has jammed so it takes it off. Commanders Burbon and Knuckles don't move and stand ready. Once the predator takes off its pulse cannon it removes its helmet. Commander Knuckles looks over to Commander Bourbon.


Fuck this clown!


Thunder Knuckles rushes the Predator and gets backhanded away. The Predator's top-left mandible twitches a few times, to simulate a snicker.


Fuck me, he hits hard.


Thunder Knuckles yells out,


Watch that mother fucker backhand, Bobby!


As Thunder Knuckles yells that, Bobby Bourbon starts to rush the Predator. The Predator tries to backhand Bobby Bourbon but Bourbon was ready for it. He grabs the Predators arm and launches him into the spacecraft opening up the Predator's head. Now bleeding, that descent neon green blood, The Predator lunges toward Bobby Bourbon but it tackled by Thunder Knuckles. On the ground, the Predator throws off Thunder Knuckles by bench pressing him. Thunder Knuckles rebounds and lands on his feet. As the Predator starts to get to his feet Bobby Bourbon punt kicks it in the mouth. Reeling backward the Predator throws out a lucky kick that barely catches Bobby Bourbon.


Goddamn, this mother fucker is tough!

No time! Keep fighting!


Thunder Knuckles rushes the Predator once again and grabs it by the arm. Thunder Knuckles then Irish whips him towards Bobby. With Bourbon laying in wait he clubs the Predator with a massive close line. Turning it inside out and making it fall on its back. Thunder KNuckles walks over and starts stomping its rib cage. This proves to be a bad move as the Predator grabs one of Thunder Knuckles's legs and sends him sailing. Bourbon sees this and waits for the Predator to stand. Once it does it lets out a thunderous growl.


GRRRAAAAAAAGGGG!


Bobby Bourbon who has, his whole life, been waiting for this particular moment says,


You're one ugly mother fucker.


The Predator leaps toward Bourbon, Thunder Knuckles once again comes in with a clutch save. This time a large rock from a distance, this action gets the Predator's attention long enough for Bourbon to deliver a kick to the midsection, in one motion, a standing Bobby Bomb is delivered by Bourbon. Thunder Knuckles celebrates by saying,


Yeah, you stupid-ass, bitch! Eat a fucking Bobby Bomb!


Thunder Knuckles begins running over to the carnage and notices the Predator is knocked out cold. Bobby shouts out to Thunder Knuckles.



We didn't even have to do the Rainbow Laser Death Sequence.


Once Thunder Knuckles gets close he kicks the Predator, who has been tossing him around like a ragdoll, in the head.

Now what?


Watch him for a minute.

Watch him what? Lay there this fuckers is out cold!


As Thunder Knuckles says that Bobby heads into the Predator ship. Bourbon is looking for anything they could tie the Predator up with. He's in luck he finds some kind of metal cable.



Look what I found inside the ship!


Thunder Knuckles isn't the slightest bit impressed.


Yeah, the fuck we gonna do with that?


We're going to tie him up! You know, so he can't throw you around anymore.


Thunder Knuckles kicks the Predator again out of frustration.


This reminds me of that time we went camping in Canada.


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


We cut to see Bobby and Thunder Knuckles, a pair of tents pitched behind them, sitting at a fire near a pond in a beautiful place deep in the heart of the Canadian wilderness.


I tell you, buddy, this is great living out here!

I love camping!


All along the lake, the shore is lined with tents. Wafts of smoke are seen coming from individual fires in the distance.


Man, I can't believe we made it to Saskatchewan Salmonfest! Where the salmon is the best!

It's going to be fucking awesome, Bobby. Lots of fucking good food, lots of beautiful fucking ladies, this scene is just right for Them No Good Bastards!


On the lake, we see a raft approaching quickly but not too quickly, on it is a single man who has on a crown and robe. The man is also sitting atop a throne.


All hail, the king of the party!


The king of the party acknowledges Bobby by raising his party scepter. The orb at the top of the scepter is a ruby, not the anti-cussing kind, but a real ruby.


Fuck yeah!


Bobby looks personally and deeply fulfilled by this. As Bobby admires the king of the party, Big Foot rushes from the woods, out of nowhere. Big Foot pushes the king of the party and his throne off of the raft!


No! The Sceptor!

Oh, fuck!


Bobby smacks Thunder Knuckles's arm and points toward the raft, as if to say "let's go", they rush towards Big Foot. Not a bear. Not just a sasquatch or yeti, but THE Big Foot, and Bobby sinches in a snap suplex, and Thunder Knuckles capitalizes! Flying through the air like a gazelle with wings Thunder Knuckles grabs ahold of Big Foot's right foot.


RAINBOW LASER DEATH SEQUENCE!


Big Foot's big foot slams into an exposed tree root. It howls in pain and passes out from the pain, half Big Foot's foot is broken in half and its bones exposed. Nobody here is a veterinarian, least of all for cryptids, so the king of the party pulls out a pistol and hands it to Thunder Knuckles. Thunder Knuckles aims the pistol at Big Foot's head.


Say goodnight, asshole.


Thunder Knuckles effortlessly pulls the trigger and murders THE Big Foot in cold blood.


BANG!


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


Except we didn't use the Rainbow Laser Death Sequence on the Predator.


Thunder Knuckles shrugs but holding it longer than normal. This holding of the shrug is all so Shawn Warstein's lawyers can't come after Thunder Knuckles for gimmick infringement. Once done with the forever shrug, Thunder Knuckles walks over to the Predator's head. The Predator is coming out of its forced slumber.


But one thing is for fucking sure, Bobby.

What's that?


The Predator with its neon green blood running from its left bottom mandible and busted head says something in English.


You mothhhheeeerrrrr Fuuuuuckerrrrrs...


Thunder Knuckles boldly smirks and looks down at the Predator which is laying in its own blood, gargling.


No. We're Them No Good Bastards.


The Predator begins to laugh wickedly, like Peter Gilmour and activates a time bomb. As Thunder Knuckles finishes saying the name of the tag team that's going to move on to March Madness, to face the tag team champions. Thunder Knuckles picks up his right foot and smashes it into the Predator's skull instantly killing it.


That's what reminds me of Canada, another dead fucking legend.

Did he just set a bomb?


Thunder Knuckles now hears a distinct sound. A sound that Bobby is already aware of.





In unison Commanders, Bourbon and Knuckles both yell out while running into the Predator's ship.


OH, FUCK!


Once they reach the cockpit of the foreign ship. Commander Bourbon looks over at Commander Knuckles.


Do you know how to fly this damn thing?

Fuck no! BUT I'll figure it the fuck out real quick.


Commander Knuckles starts flipping switches left and right the engines come on. He sees something that looks like a flight stick and pulls down on it. Another lever, with his other hand, he presses forward, and off to the races they go. The bomb reaches zero as the two brave Starfleet commanders start to exit the atmosphere but the explosion causes the ship to get knocked off course, yet safe from the explosion.


Thanks for watching STAR TREK: THE BASTARD GENERATION. Tune in next time for the spin-off show!

**PREACH**

Thunder Knuckles and Bobby Bourbon just finished up the STAR TREK: THE BASTARD GENERATION. The XWF camera crew catch them at the after-party. Thunder Knuckles is the first to notice them and smack Bobby on the arm to get his attention. Thunder Knuckles points at the camera and says something to Bourbon but the camera isn't close enough to hear it. Bobby Bourbon with a bright smile waves over the cameraman.


What's going on, mother fucker? We know why you're here. You, like the XWF fans around the world, want to hear what else we have to say about the fucking pretenders to our spot at March Madness. What just cause you deflected you think that was going to stop Ol' Thunder KNuckles from calling out the goddamn obvious? Get the fuck straight out of town. You fucking clown don't stand a chance in the ring with the tag team champions. We-


Thunder Knuckles no looks fist bumps Bobby Bourbon.


Don't just stand a chance we're going to dominate the champs. We're going to wish they didn't fucking accept our challenge. Which, I pretty much schooled your ass at that fact. Mostly because you were too goddamn stupid, lazy, or un-fucking-aware of current events. Speaking of current events. Yo, brain dead warrior, how's Speechless Vonn Prick Hammer? You see when we beat the shit out of sorry sacks of shit, we do it so public no one can deny it.


Thunder Knuckles begins to smile widely.


Still don't believe me, fuckers? Well since you think it's fun to attack bastards from behind with chairs. Let's tell the whole goddamn story, fucking shall we? You were fucking salty.


Thunder Knuckles pauses for effect.


Yep. Fucking saaaaaaalty! Hey, Todd! Show the fucking clip of earlier that same goddamn night. Which neither one of you want to admit or point out. Fuck no. I mean, why the fuck, would you? It's easier to live in MasterMind's concussed delusion world than face the facts that Them No Good Bastards have beaten you to the fucking punch each and every goddamn time. Now sit back and ask yourself why. I'll wait.


Thunder Knuckles looks down at his wrist, he isn't wearing a watch, but he sure is acting like it.


Because while you fuckers we're busy resting up hoping, and yes, even praying. We were fucking preparing for you and the tag champs. Because we're a real fucking tag team. A goddamn tag team whose only goal is to reach the fucking mountain top. I do have a quick question for you guys. Do you even have a tag team move? Tell me you got one and you're not going into this everyman for himself. That would be a bad fucking idea. Then again... It's not like we're dealing with real masterminds, am I right? All the great tag teams have a move! Get with the fucking program fuckers you're looking like fucking amateur hour out here. I'm sure even fucking Salt and Pepper have a fucking tag team move. Todd, feed me some more. This is getting fucking fun.

(03-03-2021, 04:40 AM)Warfare 3/3/2021 Said: The camera shows catering, and Morbid Angel and Mastermind are there. TK nails MM in the back of the head! Bourbon slams both forearms into Morbid Angel's massive back! TK chucks MM across the catering table, which was covered with assorted pastries and donuts. Powdered sugar flies everywhere as Bobby slams Morbid's head into the catering table! Bourbon hooks Morbid's head, and then hoists him up, holding the massive Morbid Angel vertically! TK rears back, the bounds as Bourbon falls backward.

RAINBOW LASER DEATH SEQUENCE!

Morbid goes right foot first through the catering table, crushing Mastermind in the process. TK slowly gets up, a bevy of smashed donuts and pastries on his back.

It's all there, fuckers! Let's see that fucking fake ass, not the real goddamn legend, deflect-a-con robot spin that. We walked right up to you in catering and punked your asses. THEN we finished our fucking match. That's what No Good Bastards do. We yield results faster than auto-flowering cannabis planets.


Thunder Knuckles knows the human bullshit shield, Morbid Angel, is ready to deflect some more and is beginning to get visibly irritated.


Jesus fucking Christ! More not believing us? Okay, okay, okay, Ol' Thunder Knuckles knows that a preacher man wanting to push the burden of proof off to other people is stale as fuck, but I'll go ahead and do it, just to make sure you remember correctly.

(02-23-2021, 11:54 PM)Thunder Knuckles™s Recorded Promo: The final frontier Said: No, mother fucker, I say you earn it. How about the next fucking Warfare you two fucking losers step into the ring with Them No Good Bastards and whoever wins. Faces fucking Cuntinuum, or however the fuck you say it, at March Madness. Until then get the fuck out of here.

Thunder Knuckles's arrogance is growing by the second.


I could take this time to point out that MasterMind said a whole hell of a lot about fucking nothing. Well, I fucking take that back. He said one thing. He said Them No Good Bastards are boring.


Thunder Knuckles smiles because he knows that's simply untrue and straws grasped by a desperate man. A desperate man who never had a hope of winning gold in the modern era.


Just repeating himself over and fucking over again, to point of fucking nausea. To be fair, Ol' Thunder Knuckles gets why he did that. It was so he could convince himself it was fucking true. Just so his brain-damaged ass can walk down to that ring with a little bit of fucking confidence. You know, before Bobby Bourbon and Ol' Thunder Knuckles, Them No Good Bastards, come and beat the breaks off these fucking mental midgets. MentalMidget!


Thunder Knuckles looks over at Bobby Bourbon.


Look at that! I got a new fucking nickname for MasterMind.

That is pretty good.


Thunder Knuckles smiles at the approval he just received from Bobby Bourbon. Thunder Knuckles's deminer quickly changes, however, because the thought of something that has been eating at him for months pops into his brain.


Well, MentalMidget, I haven't forgotten about fucking Leap of Faith. It's going to be fun busting your fucking teeth down your throat. By the way, where was that stupid fucking countdown clock when Chokey broke your goddamn record? I get it though, I do, no shit! It's easy to let a guy who didn't defend his title week in, and week out, break your record. But a Champion's Champion knocking your name off the goddamn record books is much harder to fucking explain, isn't it? Now, because of that, you have to pay the goddamn toll. It's time to quit wasting everyone else's goddamn time and take your fucking beating!


Thunder Knuckles thoroughly irritated, eyes wild, waiting for the moment he gets to place his hands on MasterMind. He motions Bobby Bourbon to step up to the plate to have a dish of MorbidMind for himself.

Well, the time for talk is over. For some of y'all, it never even fucking began, did it?


Thunder Knuckles is seen pacing behind Bobby Bourbon, muttering to himself.


They haven't said shit because they don't have shit to say!

What else do you got besides how important we have been in your life?

We should have taken a back seat at getting a title shot to who, exactly, you?


Thunder Knuckles stops pacing long enough to give his one-of-a-kind, truly distinct, jerking-off hand gesture. Then begins pacing once again.


Mastermind and Morbid have been the de facto losers in championship matches for the better part of a decade now.

Mastermind will show up, out of the fucking blue, saying he wants a championship match, gets one somehow, then gets his ass whooped and then sits off of TV for a few months. Morbid will show up when it's convenient, have a match or two, lose, then get bored and stop competing forever.


Thunder Knuckles still pacing and muttering.


Not the first fucking time, but it'll be the last, mother fucker!

I would praise both men for the longevity of their careers, but when you average a match a year for five years, well, you're not really getting a lot of wear and tear on the body done to you to really tout longevity so much as fragility.

Mastermind and Morbid are the fancy dildos your mom saved for company.


Thunder Knuckle's face is that of disgust but doesn't stop pacing.


Gross.


Don't worry, fellas, us no good bastards will put you back on the shelf real soon. In a month or two, neither of you will even remember. As Kyril has joined BOB and has his megachurch and Killian is walking around the grocery store with a scowl looking for the bean section but he's lost in the cereal aisle.


Thunder Knuckles's pacing hasn't stopped, neither has his mouth.


[b]Fucking ]

[color=#FF6347]Holy fuck, Mastermind, you are a guy who doesn't know his ass from a hole in the ground until he farts, and even then you're only about fifty percent on it.

Shit, when Mastermind shits he's being his most creative. Go take a look at the inside of the toilet after Mastermind poops and you'll see something more worthwhile than a Mastermind promo.

Mastermind is a dopey old man who shambles around like he has a stick up his ass.

Kyril, you are being tasked with carrying this deadweight somewhere you shouldn't even tread.

I would be insulted, but flat out you just didn't pay attention when you saw I was challenging for the Tag Team Championships, did you? You definitely didn't come back to the XWF to face me, from the sounds of things, no old grudges, I celebrated the fact you were back probably more than anybody else.

I know Mr. Knuckles has had some harsh things to say to you, brother, but I know damn well I can help you accomplish everything you need here.

Come home. Join BOB.


Thunder Knuckles stops pacing and stands in front of Bobby Bourbon.


In the meantime, Morbid, we're gonna fuck you guys up so bad that they're gonna be holding a candlelight vigil in the Netherlands. Celebrating the life of former XWF talent, and I do use that term fucking loosely, MasterMind. Now shut that fucking camera off we've got a job to get ready to do!


With that, the camera fades to black ending this recorded promo.