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Jim "the Jim" Jimson · (10-10-2020)

Jim is seen in a void of emptiness, hanging out with Jim.

Jim Jimson: Hey Jim.

Jim Jimson: Yea Jim.

Jim Jimson: Did you see the main event for this week’s savage?

Jim Jimson: Yea, I saw that, that scumbag TK, found a new best friend tag team partner.

Jim Jimson: Wha, no way, what do you mean!?!

Jim Jimson: Yea, look at this!

That scumbag, friendship throwing Thunder Knuckles & Bestfriendshipwreckerbigfatpoopyheadbumbum Johnny Legend

- vs -

Jim Jimson: It's like our friendship meant nothing, to him, I put my morals and national pride aside and wrestled a match with a... wallaby as a ref for our match, luckily the wallaby got scared and ran away because you know... it was a wallaby, but I nearly swallowed my pride and entered that match thinking that a stupid, dumbass, pussy bitch wallaby was going to be a ref! Oh, yea I also robbed a bank and got locked in a vault with him for multiple hours and I meet Michael jackson's last living relative, but THE REF WAS GOING TO BE A FREAKIN' WALLABY, KANGAROOS ARE SO MUCH COOLER!!

Jim Jimson: Wait who are TK and Johnny Legend fighting?

Jim Jimson: I don't know and I don't care! I'm not TKs partner! Why should I care about some match that has a walking homewrecker called Johnny Legend in it!

Jim Jimson: What is it that Johnny has that we don’t, huh. Is it because he’s white? Is it because TK can’t handle my 213 pounds of pure black thunder? Is it because he’s kinda not a big deal here? I’M NOT A BIG DEAL EITHER! I bet Johnny Legend platonically seduced TK with all of his fancy pancy, “not a fucking waste of space-eniser” Like comeon! Johnny Legend is the kinda who shows up for a month and leaves when he gets bored! I’ve been here for one. Year, me and TK debuted in the same match! But some random white boy that has never seen the streets can just walk into this company, get a TV title match and BAM! Those two are a brand new rock and roll express. Jim who? IT’S BULLSHIT, MYSELF. IT’S BULLSHIT! Why can’t I be in that tag team match? Why not me?

Jim Jimson: Jim take this

Jim is given a calming glass of wine by Jim

Jim Jimson: Jim. You know what we should do? We should go straight to the XWF office and tell them we want to be on the opposing team against the new best friends, TK and Johnny Legend

Jim Jimson: YEAH WE SHOULD!

Jim Jimson: YEEEEAH!

Jim Jimson: YEEEEEEEEEEEEEAH!

Jim Jimson: YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAH!

Jim Jimson: YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAH!!!!!!!!!!

Jim is in front of a castle and is in medieval full knight armour, brandishing a large golden sword. The only thing blocking Jimson from entering, is a large wooden gate protected by a moat.

Jim Jimson: OPEN UP FARANOR! YOU CANNOT ESCAPE FATE!

The drawbridge starts to come down as Jim watches as a large beastly, blue scaled dragon stomps its way menacingly out of the castle, it breathes out a large tongue of fire in the direction of Jim, as a warning, a ploy to scare Jim away. Jimson doesn't move an inch, nor a centimetre, nor a millimetre, he stands there like a statue, a Jimson from long ago would have ran away, he would had tried to play dead, a random person with a cup of water would pass by and spill water all over Jim’s pants, it wasn’t piss, I swear, katie, it was that fucking guy next to me he spilt water said he’d get a towl and ran away, it’s not piss I swear, seriously, It’s not piss please don’t tell anyone about this please, please, please…. Just stop laughing at me, stop laughing at me…. Don’t call me pee pee poo poo man, I’m not the pee pee poo poo man, please, Katie, tell your friends to knock it off. Oh really they think they are so cool because they are the head bitch in town, what the fuck you trying to talk about being head bitch, when you got tits like that, you’re flatter than ohio, skinny bitch. P.S I didn’t pee myself.

Jim Jimson: FARANOR THE CHAINBREAKER! YOU ARE DESCRIBED AS THE MOST FEARSOME MONSTER THAT HAS EVEN GRACED GODS EARTH! YOU HAVE ENDED ALL THAT CHALLENGE YOU!

BUT I KNOW YOU BETTER!

I KNOW THAT YOU ARE A LOVING AND CARING REPTILE THAT IS AFRAID OF SOMETHING FAR MORE DANGEROUS THAN ANY SWORD, COMMITMENT! KNOW THAT YOU FELT WHAT I FELT AT THE SPRING DANCE! I KNOW THAT YO-

Sadly since Faranor, the chain breaker murders the only person who was willing to accept her as a giant, bloody thirsty, hell dragon with one firey breath, because you know..... it's a fucking dragons, it doesn't exactly understand nor speak English.

Jim is left burnt and crippled on the ground, quickly fading as his skin is picked off by the vultures attracted by the smell of rotting flesh, but he is also left with a broken heart that will never be fully healed.....

Jim and Jim are in an office with an XWF stooge, Jim is standing in front of a whiteboard with the words displayed on it saying "the end"

Jim walks over to a laptop and taps button ending the powerpoint

Jim Jimson: And that is two thousand, seven hundred, and fifty-six reasons on why I should fight TK & Johnny Legend, in that tag team match, get rid of whichever loser is fighting him and replace me with one of them, I want to beat TK for betraying my friendship!

XWF Stooge: ............ Are you fucking-

Jim Jimson: Yo, I will beat the shit out of any bitch who is in place to fight TK & Johnny Legend, Hell, I will do it in a 1 on 2 handicap match! You motherfucker, I swear to god, if I don't get this match, I will shove a pinecone up your ass, so, so far up, that I will pull it out of your mouth and frankly, I want to save that magic trick for a ragtag group of white boys who have been best friends forever.

The XWF stooge has a look of annoyance and disapointment

XWF Stooge: Look at the card for savage. Look at who TK & Johnny Legend are fighting, you annoying, little, illiterate, fucking, cuntbag of a-

Thunder Knuckles & Johnny Legend

- vs -

Jim Jimson & Charlie Nickles

Jim Jimson: YOU DID IT! How on earth did you do it so fast? I just talked to you about putting this match in the card? How can you be so, so fast?

The XWF Stooge sits there with a look of "You are a fucking dumbass"

XWF Stooge: I got connections. he says in an obviously sarcastic voice

Jim Jimson: Really?!? Connections that great? Connections that work that fast?

Jim leans in real close to the stooge

Jim Jimson: You got somebody’s dickpic, don’t you?

XWF Stooge: Sure.

Jim Jimson: I'll have to remember you for next time, If I need to ask you for something.

XWF Stooge: Please don't.

Jim Jimson: I can’t wait to get my revenge on this friendship destroying poopyhead!

XWF Stooge: What about Johnny Legend? You getting revenge on him stealing your best friend or some shit

Jim shrugs his shoulders

Jim Jimson: I feel like now that I can see with a clear mind, I realise that Johnny Legend isn’t the one I should be mad at, but TK for letting our friendship go to the wasteside

XWF Stooge: Didn’t you try to burn TK alive because he didn’t want to fight for a mansio-

Jim Jimson: He threw away our friendship, like it meant nothing! But you and me, we got a real connection, I could see us being best friends for life, greg, right after I team with Charlie Nickels and beat my former best friend that 100% betrayed me!

XWF Stooge not named greg: Who the fuck is Greg?

Jim throws his arms in the air and get ready to be the best tag team partner a tag team man can partner with.

XWF Stooge: This is why the XWF should have never handed out those ironclad lifetime contracts to make-a-wish kids. If they recover we get Jim Jimson in main events.

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