Greggo can't believe Fuzz thinks Steve Jason has friends.

Greggo can't believe Centurion tried to play it off like people who quote his endless blunders are somehow weak themselves.

Greggo gets down on the floor and sets his old ass iPhone down so he can lay down and watch it. It's playing a video! Could it be someone's promo? Yes! Greggo is watching Bilbo's sexy ass promo and Greggo's ogling like crazy at Bilbo. He's gushing like a girl in Gilmour's presence. He's in awe. He's in love! Hearts appear over Greggo's eyes as Bilbo proceeds to announce to the world that he managed to brew a jar of his own shit to such perfucktion that he's getting more fucked up off of it than ever before!

"Fuck yeah!" Greggo popped with a fist pump in the air, "That's what I'm talking about!" as the camera focuses in on Greggo's iPhone so we can see that jar Bilbo's holding in his shitty promo.

Greggo is on all fours, looking like he's ready to pounce and hump the living hell out of his iPhone. He starts to moan and then says, "Mmmmmmmm, mmmmmmmmmmmmmmm. Mmmmmmmm, I have the same jar!!!"

He pulls his own jar into view and shows us all of the glory. Here's a still:


Oh yeah that's right, Greggo is right there in living colour with a jar of piss and a big ol' piece of shit bobbing around in it!

That's when it happens... we go 2nd person and you can't help but be sucked right back into this stupid bullshit! Don't forget about last time when you ended up marrying some diseased hooker that was getting beat down in an alley. What could possibly go wrong for you this time, you figured. You leap into the scene and immediately go for the jar! A struggle ensues between you and Greggo, the creator and rightful owner of the jar's contents.

Greggo gets the jar away from your greedy little hands and he chugs! He goes for it! He's got it! IT'S EMPTY!

Unable to come to terms with how a man could consume that much piss and shit in one gulp, you begin to lie to yourself about the authenticity of what you were just a part of. You question your own memory with such psychotic queries as "what if I'm just on some really good ass shrooms and acid yo?" But nope, not gonna be that easy this time. You're 100% sober! "Well shit, maybe that's the problem," you ponder. Greggo is almost done rolling a joint, and it's abso-freakin-lutely huge! So big. You can't help but smile as you watch Greggo shove the fuckin' thing in his mouth like a hotdog, it's so big. He clamps down on the fucker with his cybernetic jaw and blazes it up with a mini torch that has a lot of brown smears on it.

"Let's get fucked up," he politely suggests, placing a hand on your inner thigh. The room starts filling with this ass smoke as Greggo coughs all up in your face and hands you the joint. You turn your nose up in disgust as you catch a STRRRRRRONG whiff of what has to be burning shit.

"Yo man, is this one of those dog shit joints from Cheech & Chong?" was the question you asked despite already knowing the answer... kind of like when you ask Bilbo if you can get a quick BJ----spoiler: YOU WILL GET THE BJ. Just like here today, spoiler it's shit. Boom. You're already inhaling before Greggo answers, but guess what? He swerved you! He's talking about it being cock!

"Mmmmm," he says.

A few minutes pass. You guys have been hitting this bad ass cock joint for what feels like a really long time. The sun has set. The street lights just came on, and your momma's in the streets telling you to come home. You regulate the fuck out of This DJ situation and make the most of it. You smoke the rest of the joint with Greggo and then bring him home to meet your mom. Let's just say you're like, what? 13 years old right now? So it's gonna be a little weird when you bring home this old ass creep with a receding hairline and the odor of a thousand dead (shit covered) horses.

Hold on. I need to say something. It's about the horses. Look, have you ever driven (or walked) past a big ass farm or ranch or whatever, and you see a bunch of horses and you're all "OMG look at the horsies!" until that NASTY ASS STENCH hits your flaring nostrils? Ok well the smell of a thousand dead ones isn't that bad............................... but it's still pretty bad.

So anyway, you go find your momma in the streets and she's immediately freaking the f out. She's thinking this cool Greggo cat is some child molester or something, but you are quick to tell her that's Micheal Graves she's thinking of! Or Pest! Or Dean McGovern! Or, or, wait why are there multiple options from XWF's history as far as who the biggest pedo might be? Seriously, let's stop and think about that for a second.

A second later, your momma is on her phone calling the cops because of the blood and feces all over Greggo's white jump suit. Greggo reaches back like a pimp and smacks a hoe! Oh snap! The phone goes flying and shatters on the ground! You watch in horror as Greggo tries to slap your mom again but she catches his wrist and kicks him in the balls! OMFG!!!! Greggo screams like a damn banshee and nearly blows your ear drums out!!! Your mom just keeps kicking the shit out of Greggo and yelling at you to go inside, but you're conflicted! You think Greggo's really freakin' awesome, of course, but your mom is still your mom even if she expects you home early on school nights like a dumb bitch.

What do you do?

Options:

1) Call the police.
2) Jump in. Family is family. You help your Momma beat Greggo's nasty ass.
3) Jump in. Fuck a family. You help Greggo give your mom a shitty teabag.

Alright so if you thought we had the budget or wanted to make the effort to really do this choose your own adventure shit, you just got played smoother than Thunder Knuckles when he thought the XWF was fair about xbux payments! Dayumn son! Imagine being that thunderstruck!

Here's the cheap ass rundown of what happens with each option, since that's all a promo against Piss drinkers #1(wizard) and #2(bilbo) is worth:
-Option 1. If you call the cops, they just showed up and shot you and your mom. Remember the Warren G "This DJ" lyrics earlier about your momma in the streets? Yeah so that obviously makes you a young Warren G when this is all happening right? So yeah that makes you black. Sorry, if you don't like this ending but you chose your skin color.

-2. If you jump in and help your mom beat Greggo's ass, he pulls a gun and shoots you both. Heh, wow that's actually kind of funny now that I look back at how option 1 ended. I guess it sucks to be you either way. Sorry?

-3. If you jump in and help Greggo beat your mom's ass, all the coolest shit happens. You and Greggo get away clean after dropping your drugged up mom at the crack house and going on a road trip together! After a few days of driving across the world with Greggo, making stops in some of the most beautiful spots on Earth, you realize Greggo has a match coming up and you want to make sure you don't cause him to miss it. You ask him how he's doing on his promos for the match, since you know it's a plus if he can get a few up in time, and he tells you this is his second promo right now! You gasp in SHOCK, and we all pause to make fun of the sensitive snowflake calling itself The Wizard as we remember him admitting that he's easily shocked by Greggo's manly-as-fuck actions and comments. "How could Greggo manage to be so shocking in so many ways?" you wondered.

The end. Sort of. Well it's the end of option 3 anyway, and that's probably the best out of the 3 if you ask me.

Do you ask me?

Option A) Yes

Option B) No

Option C) ???

You think about your choices for a few seconds and then remember something about the answer is always c. So you're like, fuck it, the answer is always C! Let's find out what the "???" is all about!


And Earth just f'n explodes.

…......................Oh. Well, shit. Maybe don't pick that one next time. Idiot.