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Bilbo Blumpkinz · (02-10-2020)

Bilbo rolls up in his lowered mobility scooter with ground effects and 22" rims. He's pimp as fuck. Big gold chain with a giant B hanging around his neck like Flavor Flav but white and crippled and probably less AIDS.

"Sup Big D. You never called me after I twerked my little ass all up on that dick at the Honey Pot down in Tampa. You remember, right? I was taking key bumps of AZT in the bathroom and I saw your fine tight behind out there on the dance floor getting low to RuPaul's "Supermodel." God DAMN you knew how to get a dick hard. Christ. I almost ruptured my cock ring. But then after I bumped and grinded all up on those vinyl hot pants and made it clap for you, you blew me off? You ghosted me? What kind of shit is that?"

"Listen D, I'm not gay. I just needed the drugs. But I didn't get all the drugs, my N. I need some rock, you feel me? I'm trying to speak wigger right now so you'll understand me. Look, what I'm getting at is you obviously live in the ghetto and therefore you can get me some crack. I need a plug. Maybe two plugs, since the one in my ass fell in. Give me some pies and I'l jack that beefy dick next time you hit Da Club."

"On second thought, you have weirdly symmetrical nipples and that freaks me out. I need a big titty bitch with nips pointing different directions like Tiny Lister's eyes. Seeing ninnies like yours makes me think of that one Ancient Aliens episode where they talk about how the pyramids all line up with other pyramids on the other side of the world. Freaky shit. You have conspiracy theory nipples. You know what else is a good conspiracy theory? The green monkey. That's where AIDS came from. Most people think it's bullshit but I have a secret, D."

"I fucked that monkey."

Bilbo pins D.

B.O.B. D · (02-10-2020)

KICKOUT!!!!!

Despite kicking out and tossing Bilbo halfway across the room, Big D sighs and shakes his head before tossing the Federweight Championship at his feet.

"You can have it. Nobody respects this belt, anyway, so it'll be perfect for your stick figure ass. I feel bad for you and know being Champion of any kind means more money(unless you're Thunder Knuckles). Go enjoy your crack and I'll come back to take this belt from your dead carcass after you've OD'ed. As of right now, I have my sights set on bigger things than a 24/7 Championship and trading barbs with a broom."

Big D walks off.

Bilbo Blumpkinz · (02-10-2020)

"Damn Daniel, I didn't know you were such a fucking bottom. I've been thrown across rooms by twinks who look like Freddie Mercury in 1995 that put more muscle into it than you. Are you missing a nut? Is it low T? I can donate a ball if you need me to. My blood type is LGBTQ+ what's yours?"

"You know what's lame? A guy like you thinking he's above the Federweight Title when it's probably the only belt he can hold for more than a week. You walk around here all standing up straight like a showoff but everyone knows you aren't shit. I knew a guy once who needed a fecal transplant to save himself from losing his entire lower bowel, and you know what? That particular queen probably would have pressed you against a wall and made you his sweetboy. I should stick a piece of meth into my pee hole and make you suck it off, just to show how completely attracted to dong you are while I stay totally flaccid and hetero like a real man does when he has a guy with a really strong jawline gobbling up his knob. Why do you walk like you have a set of Ben Wa balls in your asshole? Do you? What size are they? If they're less than five pounds each you're a pussy. I was using five pounders in kindergarten. My art teacher Mr. Kordula showed me how to put them in like a man. Bet you couldn't man up like that. RIP Mr. Kordula I wish the inmates hadn't broomstick raped you to death you were a good man."

Bilbo pins Big D again because fuck that 'dur dur dur take the belt' bullshit, D was gonna have to work for it.

**"Loverboy" Vinnie Lane** · **02-12-2020, 05:53 PM**

Lame.

Winner and NEW Federweight Champion - Bilbo "Apparently Not Dead" Blumpkinz

Threaded Mode \| Linear Mode Wow Big D sure looks like a leather daddy I saw in a club once
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