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Centurion · (10-20-2019)

(Silence.

For some, it's a painful experience - the reminder of the loneliness and dispair of life that keeps us alone and isolated. For others, it is a luxury - the ability to examine one's thoughts and allow for the mind to take a break from the business of the world.

You can put Centurion in the latter category.

We open up inside the Welsh Continental. Specifically, we are in the executive suite, where Centurion is staying for the week. He sits in the large bathtub - big enough to fit several people, if you're the partying type; however, it's just Centurion, lying back with his eyes closed and the lights off. The flicker of a couple candles is the only lights that illuminates the room.

Centurion takes a deep breath, breathing in the steam that's coming off the water. It's silent, something Centurion has not had the pleasure to experience in quite some time. He has a cup of coffee sitting next to him, a far cry from the copious amounts of alcohol he has consumed over the past few weeks.

Of course, sitting on the counter next to the sink is the XWF Hart Title. He doesn't seem to go anywhere without it.

The only sounds that can be heard are the sound of the water and Centurion's deep breathing. He truly seems as if he is in total bliss...that is, until his phone begins to go off. Centurion takes a loud, deep sigh and presses the answer button on the phone without opening his eyes.)

Centurion: If this isn't a pretty lady, I'm hanging up.

Walter (voice): It's Walter.

Centurion: I'm hanging up.

Walter: Don't be like that. I've been trying to call you for three days, and you haven't answered. Are you ignoring me?

Centurion: Not intentionally. I'm having fun, and you have a habit of killing the mood.

Walter: Well, I'm sorry it can't be all popped bottles and dance parties, but someone has to make sure you don't make any MORE bad decisions.

Centurion: Yeah, because you've done an excellent job so far. Why did you call?

Walter: Did you say something about Larry Craig on Twitter?

(Centurion opens one eye and glances over at the phone with a worried look. Centurion DID say something about Larry Craig, the former Republican Senator from Idaho:

[Image: oxYGSZd.png]

Centurion: I may...have been having a little fun at the dude's expense.

Walter: Well, that "fun" has come with some consequences. I received a phone call from his legal counsel. He's threatening to sue you if you don't publicly apologize.

(Centurion closes his eye and leans back, letting out a laugh. He shakes his head.)

Walter: You're not going to apologize, are you?

Centurion: What is it with these old, conservative white dudes? They think they can say and do whatever they want, but the moment someone pokes fun at them, they have an emotional breakdown. And yet it's the liberals who are called "snowflakes". Fuck no, I'm not going to apologize. Here's the thing...in order for Craig to win a libel case, he will have to prove that he DOESN'T like big, black cocks pounding him in the ass.

Walter: That's not exactly true. You'll have to prove some evidence on your part to back up your claim.

Centurion: I can get ten dudes flown out of DC to testify within an hour.

Walter: That'd good enough for me. I doubt he'll go through with it anyway. It's not like he wants this back in the news. How Wales?

Centurion: Peaceful, until you called.

(Walter laughs on the other end of the phone, but the expression on Centurion's face signals that he's not joking.)

Walter: Well, I don't want to ruin your vacation, but you do know you have a match coming up, right? Mastermind? Hart Title on the line?

Centurion: Walter, the moment I have to worry about Mastermind is the moment I seriously contemplate a new career.

Walter: I see you've added "smug" to your list of personality traits.

Centurion: Call it whatever you like. I'm not going to pretend to be meek just because it looks good to some people. I'm going to be as brutally honest as I can be. You know as well as I do that Mastermind's a joke.

Walter: Joke or not, he's still a living person, and the last thing I need you to do is trip on a banana peel and let the whole thing come crashing down before it even begins.

(This time, Centurion opens both eyes and angerly stares at the phone. His peaceful self reflection is broken. He takes a deep sigh and pulls the plug on the water, letting it empty. Centurion stands and grabs a robe, but you don't get to see his dingus, despite your desire to do so. He steps out of the bath and slides on a pair of slippers. He does all of this in silence, which causes Walter to speak up through the phone.)

Walter: You're mad now.

Centurion: I get enough ball busting from my sister, thank you very much. There's a reason I haven't been sending you over here.

Walter: Because I don't want to go?

Centurion: No! ...I mean, partially, but it's also because I don't need two managers. I don't need you chirping at me on one side while Allison chirps at me from the other. 18 years, Walter.

Walter: Here we go...

Centurion: 18 years, and you still feel the need to kill my vibe. I can take care of myself, you know.

Walter: If either of us believed that, we wouldn't be around.

(Centurion stops in his tracks.)

Walter: You don't know what you don't know, and you've proven in the past that you can't be left with your own thoughts for too long. You bolted. We're piecing you back together, but you need to trust us, LISTEN to us, and stop being a little whiner when I do something out of your best interest. You have a job to do. So do I. So does Allison. Stop being resentful and let us do what we do best.

(Centurion has no response. The cold, harsh reality of Walter's words wash over him, causing him to regret some of his tone. This is normally when someone would apologize, but the relationship Centurion and Walter has does not require such a thing. Instead, Walter powers through it.)

Walter: Hit the gym. Don't loose focus. Bring the belt back. We have a house to buy. The bank is putting your place on the market, and I know for a fact that Latimore is going to try and swipe it out from under you.

------Once You're Mine, There's No Going Back------

Is the world getting dumber?

I ask myself that question all the time. Just one quick glance at Google trends is all the evidence you need. We are in the highest industrial age, and we use that technology to catch Pokemon on our phones.

No disrespect to Pokemon GO! That game's legit. But you understand my point.

Endless streams of knowledge at the touch of a button, and yet we continue to shut ourselves out, refusing to better ourselves, and rather just blindly follow the hate and bigotry that is shoveled into our faces through every talking head in country. If people were to take time and do their own research, Trump wouldn't be president. But people want things done easy. They want to be told how to feel. And the Republicans are corrupt and the Democrats are stupid, so this is where we are. Stupidity caused Donald Trump to be president, stupidity caused Brexit to happen, and stupidity is causing Mastermind to ramble on with the most RANDOM, BORING SHIT IMAGINABLE

Seriously, when I said this guy had the personality of a bag of socks, that was being unkind to socks.

Mastermind's main premise is this idea that "I'm ducking him", an idea so incredibly absurd it defies all logic. But I'll get to that later, because he said some other stupid shit lately that I need to address first.

Apparently Mastermind hated me working in tandem with Sarah Lacklan at The Bahamas show. He's not the only one. There have been a few people to criticize my choice. Why? I don't subscribe to the idea that Sarah Lacklan is somehow the enemy of all - the evil queen who needs to be destroyed. I also don't subscribe to the idea that she's "ruining the XWF" and should be cast aside because of it.

She's a wrestler. Just like everyone else. She also happens to be pretty talented, which infuriates everyone because she also happens to be pretty annoying. You want to shut her up, but you don't have the ability to do so. So you'd rather listen to the insane babble of Vita Valenteen and Noah Jackson, because believing a lie is better than accepting the truth.

Don't listen to Shane

. The dude is a menace. He's trying to destroy the XWF from within, and he's using Sarah Lacklan as the catalyst to do so.

You wanna know why I decided to work with Lacklan? Because I knew it would piss off Mastermind. And Vita, and Noah, and all the other fucks who get themselves so worked up over a red eyed albino barely old enough to drink. Making you edgelords cry has become a favorite pastime of mine.

Also, helping Sarah beat up Vita and Noah doesn't mean I "switched allegiance" or "turned my back on Apex Prophecy". If you really think that, then you really don't know how this business operates. Being in Apex Prophecy doesn't mean "fuck everyone else". We're not The Black Order. We're not a cult. I talk to James all the time. I just spoke with Robert yesterday. Drew is off sailing the high seas or some weird shit. And Ned's Ned.

You don't know shit about our dynamic, Mastermind, and don't pretend like you do. There isn't a single member of the group who would even pick up the phone if you called. What you're doing is projecting your own insecurities onto me.

Much to that same line, this idea that I was some kind of meek, timid person when I first cake back is just a lie. I was rusty, and I admitted I was rusty. But timid? Give me a break. I knew the moment I knocked off the ring rust, I'd be among the best talents in the company. I knocked off the rust. I'm one of the best talents in the company. Nothing I said was a lie, and I was completely justified to have the thoughts that I did.

I haven't changed. You never knew me. You thought you did. You thought you saw yourself in me. That's your mistake, not mine. We've never been alike. And you'll never be me, no matter how hard you try. Want to know why I know that? Because you're clutching to your 129 day reign as TV champ like it's going to buy you something. You're not over it.

Want to know how many titles I've won? You can search the database for that, but the most important one is the one that's around my waist right now. This is a "what have you done for me lately" business, and despite the massive amount of success I've laid in my wake, I have proven I'm STILL a badass who is capable of toppling anyone. You, Mastermind? Well, you held the TV Title for 129 days. That and a few bucks will get you a cup of coffee.

Somehow, according to Mastermind logic, I am both a legend that's respected so much that he has a line of people behind him looking to fight, and a laughing stock that provides no added benefit to the federation. These two things can not be true at the same time. If I'm such a laughing stock, then why demand this match? Apparently everyone in the locker room thinks I'm awful. Including Fuzz, by your own words, remember? You specifically mentioned Fuzz, and you mentioned him FIRST in your list of people who apparently think I'm a laughing stock. Why do I bring that up? Well...

Quote:Fuzz: You’re still the same old Mastermind who is not only going to lose to me, but also fail at your attempt to pry the Hart title away from Centurion. I can’t believe I’m actually going to say this, but you don’t stand a chance. I know it literally shakes me to the core to admit that Centurion is going to win, but it had to be said.

Those were Fuzz's words...used against you, just days ago. Keep in mind, there are very few people in this world that Fuzz hates more than me. So, if he thinks I'm a laughing stock, and he also thinks I'm going to whoop your ass, then that makes you...?

Not worth my time, that's what. And there's where we loop it all back. I haven't been "ducking you", Mastermind. I've had a list of opponents that I wanted to fight...and you simply weren't on that list. I wanted to fight the best and brightest of this era of wrestlers. That's not you.

I was letting you down gently, dude. You just never got the hint. I figured, if I say no enough times, you'll eventually get tired of asking and you'll fuck off. Apparently not. You're so ADAMANT about this match, against this "laughing stock", that you had to attack me after a match.

Fair enough. You got your match. You even lucked out and got it as a Hart Title match. After I kick your ass, will you stop being a whiny little bitch and leave me alone? I really hope so. I don't want to have to keep dealing with your bullshit, especially if you're going to continue your long winded interviews and horribly rambling promos where you say the same damn thing over and over again.

Seriously, that might be the ACTUAL most annoying thing about you - you repeat yourself, and you don't shut the fuck up. The phrase "ducking me" came out of your mouth like, a hundred times, and if I have to hear about that damn TV Title reign again, I'm going to vomit. You fill up airtime with meanless drab in order to trick people into thinking you actually have something to say. You don't. You're like a dog and a car - you bark and chase, but now you finally have what you want, and you have no idea what to do with it.

You're not smart. You're not a major player here. You're just a lurker who watches a few promos and some matches and assume you know what the fuck goes on around here. Do yourself a favor and stick with Anarchy. That trainwreck of a show is perfect for you, and you'll get your chance to fight Sarah, which seems to be what you really want. Most importantly, since no one really watches that show, no one can see through your facade and notice how much you suck. You can keep talking and talking and no one will call you out on your bullshit.

Though, I wonder what kind of excuse you'll come up with when Sarah Lacklan humbles your ass. Maybe that's why you'd rather bash her in promos against me than actually go after her yourself. At least when you lose to me, you can do an about-face and claim "oh, he's a legend, and I was just teasing about a lot of that stuff." If Sarah kicks your ass, you don't really have anywhere else to go.

Oh, and I wasn't going to bring this up, but since we're looking to take up all the airtime this week, I might as well discuss it.

Quote:Mastermind:
"You are a fucking liar Centurion and a big fat hypocrite at that. Your 60 losses are at about the same rate as me. So don't fucking come at me with that not expect to get pulled up on it. Liar liar pants on fire,"

Same rate as you? Want to try that again? Because we both have the same amount of losses...though, you actually have more, but that's neither here nor there; however, your somewhere around 40 wins. I am one south of 150. I have a .670 win percentage. You have a .370 win percentage. Those are called stats, mother fucker. You lose. You lose a lot. You just lost to Fuzz. This isn't some hold over from when you were awful. You're STILL awful - just not as awful as you once were.

Don't ever compare yourself to me. Don't ever think we're equals. We're not even close. Call me cocky or self-righteous or whatever you want, it doesn't matter to me. I'll accept it all, because at the end of the day, my ever growing legacy speaks for itself. And in six months to a year, when I'm fighting for the Universal Title, and your searching the classifieds for a job, you can point back to this moment as the time when you royally fucked up.

When I leave you on the mat, pondering your own existence, I want you to keep my name out of your mouth and leave me the fuck alone. I have more important things to worry about than wasting my time defending my title against people who didn't earn it. See Wednesday, fucker, when you finally get to meet your...

FINAL FANTASY!!!

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