ADAM BARKER- “You came across like a dick.” Adam scoffs as our scene opens with Adam Barker standing next to a weight bench at a private gym in the early hours of the morning. The place is empty because there’s nothing more annoying than trying to get a quick workout in only to be constantly interrupted. Adam is dressed down from his usual attire as he sports a plain black t-shirt with matching black gym shorts as his arms are crossed his chest while looking down at Chris Page who is laid back on the bench as he is curling fifty pound dumbbells one arm at a time. Chris is wearing a white tank top with a red bandanna tied around his head. ”I mean I know you can careless how you come across but it’s very hard to prepare statements if you’re not going to stick to them.” Chris sits up on the bench placing the dumbbells on the ground as he looks up at Adam.


CHRIS PAGE- “The statement was lame; it’s nothing personal but I don’t need anyone to write anything for me to say.” Chris reaches down picking up a bottle of water off the ground where he twists the top off, removes it before taking a swing of water. He twists the top back on the bottle while swallowing that fine high quality h2o before stating. ”It’s not like we’re not sitting pretty right now when it comes to Soldier because the guy is nothing short than predictable at best.” This dude has literally been following my lead this entire trip and it’s becoming rather embarrassing if your name is Unknown Soldier. Never in my life have I seen a talent that relies so much on what other people have to say in order to try and fire piss poor shots and yet thinks he is so far ahead of me in every sense of the word that it’s laughable at best. ”We’ve ended established he serves a nonexistent being over a fantasy world, we’ve established that he is an absolute moron that is acting off his broken emotions rather than using the brain that’s inside his head and we aren’t catering to the whole aura he is trying to put out about himself.” Chris reaches back down to the floor where he picks up a white towel and pats his brow before he stands up and stretches his arms up in the air.


ADAM BARKER- “Did you see Soldier’s latest attempt?” Adam asks as Chris simply laughs under his breath as he lowers his arms back down to his side before he slings the white towel over his right shoulder.


CHRIS PAGE- “As boring as I might be at least I am keeping everything relevant to what’s going on while we’re on this road to Warfare as opposed to the same ritualistic dong worshipping crap that is merely intended to dare to be different. They can try to make a mockery of me and my career, they can say that I’m desperate or whatever gives them the warm and fuzzes…” Personally I think it’s funny as fuck that Soldier simply threw something back at me that I’ve already said to describe him and his feeble attempts at trying to look cool going into this battle where he will LOSE that Universal Championship in a battle that isn’t even going to be close by the time I’m through with him; but hey, what do I know. ”At this point he’s become a bore and he continues to reek of the very desperation that I’ve already suspected him to be.” As much as he tries to hide it there’s fear in the voice of Unknown Soldier because as much as he will never admit it he is starting to grasp just how much of a push over I am not. This is the moment in which I take my rightful place on top of this federation, this is the time in which I capture the only title that’s ever eluded me which defines exactly why this is so important to me; it’s got shit to do with the XWF as a whole and everything to do with adding that Universal Title as the icing on the cake that has been lucrative and successful in every sense of the words. I understand that you don’t know how that feels, you’re twenty years younger than I am and have way more miles to put on your body than I do. I’ve never set a goal that I’ve not accomplished and this goddamn title isn’t going to be any different. ”I’m going to use this as the first step to of eliminating Soldier, and whoever else is stupid enough to follow them from the Universal Title scene.” Chris turns his attention towards one of the stationary bicycles that’s lined up in front of floor to ceiling mirrors. He walks across the rubber mat that covers the gym floor and takes a seat on the bicycle where he starts peddling.


ADAM BARKER- “Is you know who going to be making an appearance?” Seemingly before Adam can even finish his sentence Chris fires out with.


CHRIS PAGE- “Satan!” Chris exclaims before quickly following up with. ”No, I wish… but when you don’t exist you can’t expect personal appearances unless you’re a tubby kid under a Trump mask.” That was about the stupidest shit I’ve seen in a hot little minute the XWF put out on their website. That’s the Satan you worship? Cool story bro. ”He’s tried his best to make a mockery of this entire title defense from not being able to pick up on when he’s being trolled to even properly doing his homework on his opponent.” These are the types of things that makes you look like the fool we all already know you to be and it doesn’t help your case that you continue down the same road as opposed to calling an audible or even acknowledging that you’re a complete and total failure thus far with your pointless dribble directed my way. ”They’re going to be around and if needed they’re going to make themselves known. The only other time Soldier got his ass in a crack Shane was there and made his impact felt…” While he made his impact felt he ended up getting punked like a bitch by yours truly, ironic that he got punked like a bitch and Soldier is going to have to admit that he’s a bitch. ”The last thing I want that cocksucker to have is an excuse for coming up short and for failing with flying colors. I might not be as young as I once was but it doesn’t mean I’m not man enough to kick that punks teeth out.” Chris slows his speed down on the bike while resting his hands behind his head as he concentrates his breathing before he continues. ”Not to mention that I don’t need them to show themselves unless necessary, you’ll be there watching over things making sure Pete stays in his lane and check if he chooses to show his fucking face.”


ADAM BARKER- “I mean there’s not much I’m going to be able to do anything about it… other than get my ass kicked.” Chris slows his cycling down to a stop.


CHRIS PAGE- “Sometime you have to stand on the front lines and take a shot or two if it means the entire game plan comes to creation. You’re a smart corner man, always have been and it’s the experience that I will need and the willingness to stand up for the right cause when or if the times calls for it.” Suddenly a voice from off camera is heard calling out to Adam and Chris.


[grey]”Is there where I sign up to beat the fuck out of Shane ?[/grey] There’s a smirk that graces the face of Chris Page as he already knows the person the voice belongs to. Chris turns around and looks across the gym where he feasts his eyes on THE Tristan Slater who spouts out. [grey]”Still doing the late night work outs I see.”[/grey] THE Tristan Slater and Chris Page each start to walk towards each other where they meet in the middle with a handshake as Chris states.


CHRIS PAGE- “I’m glad you made it considering the disaster I pulled us all into a few months back.” Naturally referring to the massive faction of talent that started with Chris only to dwindle themselves down in a matter of months. The only two left standing are the two men that everyone expected to bounce first.


[grey]THE TRISTAN SLATER- “I wouldn’t call that all of your fault, you couldn’t control they came in and failed.”[/grey] While they did come in and fail they failed with my name attached to it which is something that will never be able to live down. It’s going to always hang over my head and be drawn as a point of reference for anything I attempt to do moving forward as Solider has already reminded us all on more than one instance. [grey]”Reality is I wouldn’t pass on the chance to rip out Shane ’s throat. He screwed nobody over more than he screwed me over so when you called about this idea it was easy for me to say that I’m all in.”[/grey] Tristan looks off behind Chris where he and Adam make eye contact as Tristan acknowledges Adam Barker. ”Adam.”


ADAM BARKER- “Tristan.” There’s certainly no love lost between these two men but that’s another story for another day.


CHRIS PAGE- “I don’t just want to win this little war that’s brewing; I want to win this by a couple of touchdowns. I’m not saying Shane is going to get involved or anyone else for that matter but you’re just one of a few guys I’ve reached out to in order to go ahead and end this before it even truly begins.” We’re all sick of and Soldier parading around like they run the fucking joint; I mean who do they think they are, Chris Page? You can only rip my gimmick for so long before it becomes painfully obvious that you’re nothing more than a cheap poser. ”They’ve had their fun, they’ve made a bigger mockery of this federation than I ever thought about. All I want is the Universal Title and them kicked to the curbside like the trash they truly are.”


THE TRISTAN SLATER- “Whatever you’ve got planned, I’m in. I’m sure this is the next thing for Soldier to try and shit all over only to fail with flying colors but when you’re in a situation such as this it couldn’t hurt to have a few extra pair of eyes keeping a watch out on things in the off chance this doesn’t stay a one on one affair. With it remaining between Soldier and I there’s no doubt in anyone’s mind how this thing is going to go; victory to yours truly. About the only thing the little kid has going for him is he is willing to take as much pain anyone can dish out. He’s like a human punching bag that gets knocked around from pillar to post; hell Drezdin even had a shot at him and had a run at him. If fucking Drezdin of all people had some hope spots and he’s about as polished as a turd, I’m going to throw this bitch around like a fucking rag doll.


CHRIS PAGE- “We know he’s going to have to come at me and make a statement after looking awful against Drezdin.” Soldier should have steam rolled over him but he didn’t. He’s already started exposing his weaknesses from all these lame ass, unrealistic matches concocted for the sake of “entertainment” when FUCKING Drezdin has a glimmer of hope. He’s back himself into a corner and he’s starting to realize that. I don’t have to run around cutting babies throats or wear a Trump mask to generate a buzz as I just simply have to cut a promo or show up on a telecast and BOOM it’s the Chris Page Show because you’re all so lazy to bother to getting any of that TV time. It’s not my fault that the entire federation is cool with waiting around for something to happen as opposed to going out and making something happen. I’ve been waiting for this one moment since Leap of Faith and it’s not going to slip through my fingers regardless how far that little wants to try and push things. I’m not letting him in my head, I’m not allowing him to get under my skin which is exactly how you handle little snots like this. You just let them flap their gums until the bell rings and then you handle business and sit them down. ”He knows he’s walking into a huge fight against a primed, ready and hungry challenger that is going to bitch slap him the moment the opening bell tolls.” No I’m serious when I say my first offensive move is going to be a bitch slap across the face as it will serve as the prelude for when Soldier is forced to admit to Peter Gilmour and the entire world just how much of a bitch he is and has always been.”


THE TRISTAN SLATER- “An “I’m a Bitch” Match?”


CHRIS PAGE- “Don’t get me started… apparently it’s what they call “entertainment value”.” Another failed attempt at trying to embarrass me over my “old school” mentality; yep, that’s original as fuck! I could spend all day talking to you about how fucking stupid Soldier’s match concepts are but I think I did a fairly good job at exposing that shit already because as you see there’s suddenly “no pit to hell” involved in this affair. ”Sometime you just have to play the hand you’ve been dealt and make the most of it. The countdown is on and it’s literally a matter of time before what rightfully belongs to me is around my waist.”


THE TRISTAN SLATER- “And who else might be involved in this little party to have a little fun with and Soldier?”


CHRIS PAGE- “Why don’t you come with me and let’s talk a little more about whom else is on board.” Chris wraps his right arm around the shoulders of THE Tristan Slater and leads him over towards Adam as the scene slowly fades to black.
















WORDS FROM THE STONED ONE:


It seems I’ve created quite the buzz while Soldier continues to sniff my nut sack on this road to losing the Universal Championship. The dude really has been trying to reach far for a kid with short arms all the while continuing to show us the same ole shit just on a different fucking day. The fact that he speaks for some of you is nothing short of depressing when you’re putting all your eggs in his basket walking into the ass whipping that he is about to receive. We’re stuck with this whole “I’m a Bitch” deal and while it is a REAL concept and better than the Hell Hole bullshit he pitched before this series of promos even mattered. For someone that is desperately trying to be cute within this affair you were stupid enough NOT to mention me by name when discussing that original concept. Fact is I’ve stated before that the stipulation isn’t relevant as long as it’s believable, and it’s certainly believable that we’re going to hear Soldier scream at the top of his lungs that he’s the one thing that we all already know he is… a bitch.


Your single biggest downfall is that you actually believe that I’m not capable of defeating you.


I don’t know if you’ve been hitting ’s meth pipe or maybe you really are that stupid to continue to under estimate exactly what I am capable of the moment that bell tolls. Wednesday Night you’re going to enter my world; you know, the real world, the world that doesn’t believe in an overgrown red man with horns on his head swimming in a Lake of Fire; and in my world I’m the guy that’s going to bitch slap you from pillar to post because I can and you can’t stop me… but I’ll give you this little guy, you certainly have a mouth on you that likes t to regurgitate the same points over, and over, and over, and over again like broken record on repeat. If I sucked nearly as bad as you claim I do then why the fuck have I been inducted into Hall of Fame’s within EVERY organization I’ve been a part of? If I’m so terrible and lack all this talent that you claim then why have I won major Championships everywhere I’ve been a part of over the last twenty eight years? The problem isn’t that I suck or isn’t that I lack attention to detail, the problem is that you lack the creativity or the originality to come at me with anything more than the same bullshit that everyone before you has come with and everyone before you has failed at.


Just listening to you TRY to talk shit towards me is light watching a slightly dumber Peter Gilmour tie his fucking shoes.


…. High Five.


Here’s how you are; you were so you couldn’t even pick up on me trolling you over something as stupid as a match situation to the point I literally had to dumb it down for you in the off chance you might understand. It’s like me referring to Robert as Dick for like four months. Now, I’m sure that you’re going to try and spin it so that you can gain something out of your sheer stupidity much like you attempted to do with my “t-shirt” choices which is again is simply me trolling the situation at hand or the situations you and your butt-buddies try to make into relevant arguments that aren’t relevant to begin with. Yes Soldier, yes you’re way behind within this war of the worlds after shooting your load within your first two promo’s that was supposed to be epic. What’s epic about re-watching you and you minions slaughter babies? What’s epic about listening to you literally make up everything you’re trying to say that is supposed to be some sort of cut on me or my career? They was epic alright, epic failures.


Let’s take it a step further shall we? Yes, I think we shall.


What’s crazier is all these points you thrown in my face from my enjoyment of recreational uses of marijuana is about as uncreative and boring attempts I have EVER seen, so I’ll give you credit for being the dumbest mother fucker to try me, or let’s talk about how you speak for the entire XWF now? You know, after you claim they all legitimately hate you. Well, you’re right about that to a degree, they do legitimately hate you but not because you worship a fictitious fallen angle or that you bore us all to death with the same ole horse shit. They hate you because you’re a fucking idiot that runs with a fucking idiot and seriously thinks that they’re shit don’t stink. Yes, yes I know you get off on it or don’t care about it. No need to tell me, again.


Something else that I don’t need to really get back into revolves around just how much you have no clue how just out of touch you truly are when to comes to just who you’re dealing with. You remember that point you tried to harp on about why I care so much about getting that title when I don’t give two fucks about this company? If you’re half as smart as you think you are or as you would want us all to believe you would have properly done your homework and found where I addressed why that title is important to me and exactly why I wanted it to begin with. Did you do that? Fuck no! You went the lazy and predictable route by trying to turn something some fundamentally simple that was addressed MONTHS ago into this nonsense. It’s because of simple errors like this that make me and everyone who has half a brain LAUGH at you. Ignorance is not something worth bragging about, which is something you seem to do each and every time you decide to open your mouth and do this to yourself. It really makes me shake my head and wonder who is REALLY paying attention and who is not. I’m just getting started and you’re already running on fumes because this isn’t some throw away title defense like it was against Drezdin where you got off with the bear minimal or against Robert Main who simply threw his hands up in the air and walked away from a verbal exchange. Nah homie, this title defense you’re in the ring against someone who can go word for word, move for move, mind game for mind game with your crazy little ass and you’re not quite sure how to process that.


This isn’t the first time I recognize a deer in headlights.


Let me tell you something else, again I already know you don’t care so it’s cool on telling me, but it’s worth mentioning how many texts and direct messages I’ve gotten from some of the talent here and others just simply looking in on just how stupid I’ve made you look in under a week. My responses have been simple, you dug you own hole and now it’s time to see if you can climb out of it. You can try to rationalize it however you choose too but it doesn’t change the fact that the general consensus is we’re crowning a new Universal Champion especially when you break it down into the ACTUAL match we’re going to have. The mere thought of what I can do to you before I make you my bitch IS enough to get my dick hard, as you so eloquently put. What gets it harder is knowing that you are going to look into the eyes of a man who’s dick you get hard, and while on your knee’s you’re going to profess to him that his master is really a bitch! It’s going to be the ultimate emasculation! You’re the alpha to his omega but when you profess you’re a bitch then it’s like you’re bumping pussies! Speaking of Satan, did you guys see the fat dude in a Trump mask go over the Lethal Lottery? Soldier, homie, bro… was that your leader? I can kind od see where the personality rubs off on you seeing as you both seem to have a hard enough time stringing together a complete sentence. I expected larger living from Satan as well, that Ross special shirt and tie in a cramped dining room doesn’t scream LORD of DARKNESS; but hey if that’s who you serve that’s who you serve.


Peter Gilmour, it’s fitting that you’re going to be ringside.


Truly it is.


If there’s anyone I want more to get a bird’s eye view of me winning MY Universal Championship it’s got to be you. You’re truly the swap ass of Professional Wrestling. The only guy I know that can get his ass handed to him and STILL talk like he did something special. You get to watch as I rip Unknown Solider limb from limb, piece by piece. You get to watch as I take this little tranny in training and make him my bitch in front of the world! We have no rules, we have no restrictions and one of us is going to admit they’re a bitch… I just hope Soldiers voice doesn’t crack. What will you think of this man you worship when he says he’s a bitch? Oh wait, suck my dick! The bottom line is this little boy, you’re about to step into a man’s world. You’re slowly starting to feel your grasp on that title slipping away from you with each and every passing day. I know I’ve got your undivided attention and I know that you’re not going to go down without a fight, I’d expect nothing less. Whatever levels you go to I’ll go deeper, whatever weapon you want to use I’ll just hit you harder, the embarrassment you think you’re causing me is the very embarrassment you’re going to feel when you wake up after Warfare knowing that I’ve just made you my bitch.


… Oh and Ned.


Don’t think I don’t see you lurking around with that briefcase you’re itching to cash in. I’d advise you to take a good long look at what I’m going to do to Soldier and re-evaluate that equation because unlike Robert I’m not going to be so quick to let my guard down to allow that circumstance to even play out. You’re a good dude with a huge upside, don’t do anything stupid. Right now I’m hitting on all cylinders and “cooking with grease” as they say. I’m going to continue to verbally beat down Unknown Soldier to the point I’m going to wish that it was over out of sheer boredom; but I won’t be leaving this situation without gaining a little weight in the process, the XWF Universal Championship. What started as a game has backfired in your face and now we’re playing this game my way which is the only way that fucking matters.


Liberty Stadium is going to be packed.


Millions of people are going to watch from their homes.


The two of us are going to walk that aisle each with aspirations of leaving with the Universal Title dancing in our heads and while I might be in the wonder years of my career as I’ve openly admitted, my career won’t end with a loss coming from you; I’m honestly embarrassed for you at this point.


… Then the bell rings and you realized just how fucked you truly are. Don’t worry Soldier I’m not going to be gentle by easing it in. I’m going to ram it all the way inside you and make you feel it the next fucking day and the day after that. You’re going to be shitting blood for a week after the fuckery that I am going to bestow upon you and anyone else that really thinks they want a piece of the ONLY TALENT THAT MATTERS! Remember this buttercup, losing to Chris Page doesn’t mean that you suck… it just means you’re like everyone else.


Toodles, bitch..

- HALL OF LEGENDS 2019
- 2019 Heel of the Year
- 2019 Locker Room Leader of the Year
- 2019 Feud of the Year w. Robert Main (you’re welcome)
- Former


With Robert "The Omega" Main

XWF World Heavyweight Champion