Threaded Mode | Linear Mode

Madison Dyson · **08-16-2019, 04:16 PM**

Un-be-fucking-leavable.

You know, until I saw Big D I never would have guessed it would be possible to be both a walking bag of synthol and the very textbook definition of "beta cuck." How the fuck does a guy as jacked as you have to resort to parading around two 24/7 championships like you're King Shit? You're like a Masters of the Universe figure given life. You should be able to roll an effeminate trans like Lux or a breathing "Flammable Materials" sign like Tony Santos with ease, and yet you're propping yourself atop two glorified participation trophies like an oblivious downsy just happy he finished dead last.

How do you suck this hard? Shit, I FORGOT how to throw a decent punch like 6 years ago and still managed to become both a Bombshell and XTreme champion. How in shit's sakes are you somehow even less effective than that?

Welp, it turns out that not only are you incapable of fighting you way out of a soggy paper sack, but your promos are the equivalent of a NyQuil and Jack milkshake. I can't wait to see what kind of crisp zingers you're able to cobble together against me. Why don't you just go right ahead and self-imolate your credibility now and save us some time. My personal suggestion? Start a new trend in camwhoring that caters to freaks who can only cum at the sight of steroid shriveled testicles. It's like a couple of choked Raisinets clipped to the underside of a hot dog, each one housing a single sperm that spins in circles like a brain damaged doberman until it's finally unleashed on your bathroom floor as you weep openly on the toilet, frantically scrolling through Twitter in the hopes of finding a passing mention of you and Robert Main in the same sentence. Pro tip: keep fapping, it'll never happen.

Scrub.

[Image: tumblr_oi5ngyOX5V1s1v3r1o1_500.gif]

[Image: tumblr_oi5ngyOX5V1s1v3r1o1_500.gif]

B.O.B. D · **08-16-2019, 09:37 PM**

Excuse me, but WHO are you? I have to ask because I haven't really interacted with a jobber since I destroyed Mingermind....... are you his Mrs.? Because all I'm seeing is a bitch trying to make a name for herself by taking down one of XWF's best. Well guess what? You stepped to the WRONG mother fucker, but luckily Steve Justice should be around if you need an easy win.

How stupid can you be? You come here to win the SHIT TALKING Title, and then go on about how I should be able to beat two of XWF's other top competitors. I CAN beat them, and I will once given the opportunity. For right now, I had to make things happen for myself like I've been doing my entire career. Unlike your nasty ass who probably won Championships by sucking dick. Hell, you yourself even said you can't throw a punch, so what the hell are you doing here?! Oh, that's right, using your mouth like you're used to.

*Big D makes a dick sucking motion*

Maybe YOU should be the one doing the cam whoring, at least you'd be successful at SOMETHING since I'm not gonna let you take this belt from me. It'd also save us alot of ibuprofen, since we've already got one Sarah Lacklan around and don't need another. I should apologize to Sar, though, because comparing you to her is like comparing Mini Morbid to a Power Ranger, it just don't do the original justice. How many of her promos did you have to watch to come up with your

way of saying 'unbelievable?' I know imitation is a form of flattery, but not when some prostitute comes in off the streets pretending to be a pro wrestler. That just doesn't cut it.

You talk shit about me for holding two 24/7 belts, but what's that say about YOU challenging me for one? Just like a typical MAGA supporter, you contradict yourself every time you open your mouth. "You could beat future Universal Champions like Lux and Santos, but you suck! You're holding Titles that mean nothing, but I want them!" You can't make this shit up.

Were you dropped on your head as a child, or did the education system just fail you? Maybe your stupidity just comes naturally, unlike those balloons you got on your chest, I'm sure your street corner money paid for that. Because I damn well know it wasn't your XWF career, or else I'd have heard of the great Madison Dyson before now. You obviously competed back in the days when sad excuses for "talent" like Robbie Bourbon and Theo Pryce were winning the Uni, Ooooooohhhhhhh, so much talent!!!! And apparently back then you didn't need to cover people to win Championships, otherwise you would've known to do it to me! So I'd kick out of your "attempt" but there's really nothing to kick out of.

Are we done here, biiiiiiiiitch?

Madison Dyson · **08-17-2019, 05:11 AM**

Oh, we are most certainly NOT done here!

Wow, D's got blowjob jokes and "hurr durr who are you?" clapbacks. Such bold new horizons of trash talk originality. So fresh, so new! I can see why you've gotten as far as you have.

First off, I most certainly did not win my championships by sucking dick. I won both my championships by exposing myself to a substantial Herpes outbreak risk when I pinned Jenny Myst. But did I get any thanks for throwing my personal safety under the bus and ending those dumpster fire title reigns? NO! You have zero appreciation for my SACRIFICE!

Hunty make no mistake, you interact with a jobber every time you give yourself a pathetic teary eyed pep talk in the mirror each morning. "I'm Big D and by golly, today is the day I stop being literally EVERYONE's fucking afterthought!" he says as he wipes the snot and tears from his face, hoping that nobody heard his one millionth bitch made break down in the locker room. Oh yes Big D, I'm so certain that one day you'll earn that seat at the big kid's table and stop having to slum it up in the 24/7 hallways, eking out a callow subsistence on the lowest tier titles in the company and pretending that winning them makes you worth a shit. You wanna know why I'm bothering with winning this piece of shit from you? Because I want to make you SAD. I want to put you in the place you BELONG: which is NOWHERE with NOTHING. Way to completely miss the point I was making when I said you SHOULD be able to beat Lux and Santos. Emphasis on SHOULD. Because despite being chiseled like Michelangelo's (the artist, not the ninja turtle you NOB) latest Davidian wank fantasy you have shown a complete INABILITY to accomplish ANYTHING. You have genetic gifts most people could only dream of, and yet your sheer bumbling incompetence pisses them all away week after week.

Maybe if you had bothered to rub your last two brain cells together you would have remembered that I was The Engineer's manager. Yes, THAT Engineer. I wrangled that psychotic moron to two of the longest championship reigns of all time. And even though present day "me" wouldn't spit on that cancer ridden fucker if he was burning, the fact is that I have come closer to touching greatness than you EVER will. The fact is that every major opportunity you have gotten: a TV title match with Lux, a shot at Leap of Faith, a championship match against Robert Main....you have FAILED. Every. Single. One. And hell, let's talk about how you got that shot against Robert Main, shall we? Yeah, your team won War Games, but only because management threw you a life line and replaced one of your godawful picks with the head of the company. That victory had absolutely nothing to do with YOU and everything to do with Sarah Lacklan and Vincent Lane. You failed upwards into playing that match on easy mode, sweety.

**Deep intake of air** SIDE BAR! You think I'm a poor man's Sarah Lacklan? Go back to eating paste you pit sniffing autist. I was winning championships in multiple promotions when that pasty cooze was still an awkward pre-teen wondering why she had a sudden hankering for clams. I was a Fox News star before that chocolate craving race traitor hopped aboard the Trump gravy train after he had already won the presidency. So fuck right off with that shit.

I may have mostly hung up my boots now, but before I even set foot in the XWF I had already won 10 championships in multiple different promotions. I mean, can you even COUNT to 10 without including the backyard fed you wrestled in with all the other kids in your 6:1:1 class? No, you can't. Ipso facto, my "can't even throw a punch to save my life" ass is still more accomplished than YOU. Somehow. Let that level of pathetic ineptitude sink in. And just a heads up, I have multiple high caliber firearms at my disposal for when you finally take your soul crushing insight into your complete mediocrity to it's natural conclusion.

You were right about one thing though. I forgot a pin!

Madison's goes to kick Big D in the junk, but he is strangely unphased. Madison quirks an eye brow, and then smirks remembering that his testicles are roughly the size of two peas in a pod, so she just opts for gouging him in the eyes with her nails and forcing him to the ground. An effort which takes very little strength or fortitude given the fact that D is jacked for show and not go.

1...

2....

can we just call it a 3?

B.O.B. D · **08-17-2019, 07:02 AM**

You know what? I ain't got time for this. I have a wedding to prepare for, so have fun with this belt. Freeing it up'll let me go win something more legit.

*Big D drops the belt, pushes Madison off and walks away*

Madison Dyson · **08-18-2019, 06:22 PM**

Oh, you're getting married? I had no idea! I hope you and your husband are very happy together!

Madison scoops up the belt.

Do I get to pick which authority has to make this official? Because I pick Vinnie Lane.

**"Loverboy" Vinnie Lane** · **08-21-2019, 12:37 PM**

Weddings are for lame-Os.

Winner and NEW Federweight Champion because Big D is a lame-O - Madison Dyson

Threaded Mode \| Linear Mode What is this shit?
Author	Message