MR KENNEDY: I've been told to come to Austin, Texas where The Miz and Bobby Roode are training for their tag team competition. Our Manager Paul Heyman has asked me to meet him there for a special meeting. Why we couldn't meet at my house is beyond me, as I wanted to leave Roode and The Miz alone and let them focus on their upcoming match.

So I fly into Austin, Texas, where thanks to Heyman I have a rental car waiting for me, and a pretty good gps system to direct me to Mike's house..... no, sorry, Mike's personal gym. I don't think his wife would enjoy three other testorone men in her house smelling like typical malea. But I wouldn't regard Heyman as a typical male, but don't tell him I said that.

As I drive towards Mike's personal gym, I think about my upcoming Wednesday Warfare campaign. I say campaign because I have not one but two matches which probably has to do with the low booking rate for that Warfare due to possibly the Pay Per View, Leap of Faith, which for some reason, none of us were entered for.

Heyman's take on the situation: He wanted the team focused post Leap of Faith.

So like I said my campaign is to start against a doosh bag calked Michael McBride. Apparantly he's been in the XWF a long time and considered. Win or lose we both then go to the main event where we would compete in a 5 Way Hell of Horrors match or something. 5 falls - each fall from the 2nd onwards and people get eliminated. But my main focus was beating McBride first.

So I pull up to Mike's gym and notice a scrawny pale dude sitting outside the front door. He doesn't look like a security guard as he doesn't have the build for it.

I get out of the car, grab my gears, and lock it, and head towards the gym door. I look at the guy and decide to waste some words on him.


"Is there a reason why you are sitting out here looking like an idiot?"

TODD: "Hi, my name is Todd, I'm a senior camera man for the XWF, I've been summoned here by Paul Heyman,"

MR KENNEDY: I had regretted asking.

"Let me see what's going on.... stay here,"

TODD: "Before you go, may I ask a question?"

MR KENNEDY: I stopped and looked at the door, I knew what this question was going to be.... but felt sorry for the idiot, after all he had been sitting outside for what looked to be a while....

"What is your question?"

TODD: "I use to follow the WWE, you are Mr. Kennedy are you not?"

MR KENNEDY: I rolled my eyes and without saying anything, nodded, before walking to the door and quickly going inside before the idiot could ask another.

I walked into the main gym to see Mike throwing things around in a rage, Heyman was trying to calm him down and Bobby was standing watching.

PAUL HEYMAN: "Mike they are just trying to get under your skins, they were only reacting to what I asked for...."

MIKE: "That's why I hate the XWF, every little misstep and they seem to judge you, and belittle you,"

Whack, another chair goes flying.

MR KENNEDY: "What's happening Bobby?"

ROBERT: "XWF Management purposedly mispelled our tag team name, Paul tried to sort it, but ended up making things worse, so Mikey's taking a disliking to it,"

MR KENNEDY: "Power hungry fuckwits. They'll keep changing things everytime there's a reaction. This is your problem not mine,"

ROBERT: "Gee thanks,"

MR KENNEDY: "Hey Heyman, there's a English idiot named Ted or something like that, hanging around outside."

Paul turns around and looks at me.

PAUL HEYMAN: "You mean Todd?"

MR KENNEDY: "Whatever,"

PAUL HEYMAN: "Oh good he's here for you,"

I was about to open my mouth but decided against it as Paul just walked past me and headed for the door. I instead focused on Mike.

MR KENNEDY: "Hey Mikey stop being a whino and turn it around to your advantage like we know you can do,"

Mike turned around and looked at me with fire in his eyes.

ROBERT: "Bad choice of words. If I were you, I'd make like a tree and leave,"

MR KENNEDY: Puns not withstanding, I decided to take Robert up on his offer and I turned and hightailed it to the door as he intercepted Mike and tried to calm him down.

ROBERT: "He was only joking Mike, let him go,"

MR KENNEDY: In a way I wasn't but in another way Mikey needes to use that aggression for his upcoming promos.

I got outside to see Heyman shake hands with this Todd the XWF cameraman character, and I knew that wasn't good.

PAUL HEYMAN: "Ah good Ken, I'd like to introduce to you, Todd the ZWF Cameraman, he's going to be your shadow for the day. He's going to be doing a day in the life of Mr. Kennedy....."

MR KENNEDY: "What the fuck did you just say?"

TO BE CONTINUED.......

---

A camera is turned on to make Mr. Kennedy go live to the XWF universe. He was shaking his head.

MR KENNEDY:


"Why do I need a documentary about the day in my life? Jesus, Heyman can come up with silly fuckwit ideas to promote AGK. No wonder he got Mikey and Robbo in trouble with their team name just by opening his mouth as usual."

"Anyway it's about me now and not them. Next Wednesday Night Warfare, my first match of two for the night against the fuckwit that is Michael McBride."

"He is well known around the XWF, and from what I can tell is a bit of a softcock. That's right I said it... a softcock. The fans know him as a hardman but to me he's just a softcock."

"I hear you all asking why do I think, Michael McBride, is a bit of a softcock? Well here's my answer. Even though the dude is a legend, and has held several championship belts throughout the years, all he ever does, is turn up whenever he feels like it. Nearly every few months then he lets rip with either some drunken rants or some stupid stories about killing people."

"Now before you all moan at me which I fuckin well don't give a rats ass about, yes I understand that some people can't perform fulltime but to me they are are just lazy ass softcock part timers. They are what they are and I'll put McBride in that category."

"Now I know what McBride's message will be: "That I am a washed up , with a failed gimmick, and as a WWE wrestler I shouldn't be here in the XWF! Am I right McDoosebag?"

Mr Kennedy gets up from where he is sitting, walks over to a table grabs a bottle of beer, opens it with his teeth, and skulls the whole bottle before placing it back and belching, before wiping his mouth and returning to where he was sitting. He sits back down.

MR. KENNEDY:

"Where was I? Oh yea. Mr Michael McDooshbag. Like I said we all know what you are going to say, so I'm just going to make you aware that I, Mr. Kennedy will be the one to force you to eat your words, wether you like it or not, because I'm going to win our little match and get the so called Bragging Rights. You can't touch me because I am........"

A microphone drops down from the ceiling and he grabs it and speaks into it:

"Mr...... KENNNNNEDDDDDYYYYYY....... KENNEDY"

The camera then fades out.