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Chris Chaos · (06-11-2018)

It was the loudest noise he had ever heard, but it all seemed distant. Like a loud explosion, but really far away. For a split second, he was floating through the abyss, but it felt like it took years. Was this heaven?

What the hell happened?

There was no time to process.

When he came to, he was upside down. The car felt like a smart car, and it wasn't. He was boxed in, rather literally. There was an odd smell in the air. Smoke, gasoline.......bodily fluids.

Ever smelled the inside of a person? Its rancid. Its worse than a dead animal. Was it him? Was this an out of body? It seemed too real.

Moving his head, his entire body hurt. His head was pounding, and felt wet. The floorboard was stained with a dark liquid that he could only imagine was blood. His blood.

Moving ever so slightly, inch by inch, centimeter by centimeter, he was able to wiggle out of the car and onto the grass. Every movement was excruciating. When he got far enough away to lay on his back, he was able to look at the scene laid out befor him. The car was upside down and crushed in, the hazards on. Glass was everywhere, and a tire sat about 10 yards from the ruined vehicle. There were sparks coming from where the tire used to be, as if the brakes were still trying to depress, but it was metal on metal.

With an audible "oooff" he got to his feet. His legs felt like jello. His shirt was stained with a dark liquid, presumably the same on on his floorboard.

$50,000 down the drain, but he didn't care. A huge investment for a 20 year old, but money didn't matter to him, it never did. Pride, honor..........chaos. Those were the factors that drove him. Be someone they would always talk about. Take risks, deal with them after. Taking a few ginger steps towards the other car, he had to hold the puke back as it rose in his throat. There was someone sticking out of what used to be the windshield. It was crushed down on top of them. There was hair around the head.........blonde hair.........

A woman.

What the fuck. He had a woman in the car?!

He had to get her out. She had no part in this. All her could think about was Nicole. He knew it wasn't, the blonde wasn't the right shade, but he had to get her out of there. Why the fuck would he bring a woman into this?! She had to be scared to death!

Grabbing the girl by her tattooed wrists, he pulled her forward. There was a gross slitering sound, as if something wet and damp were being pulled through a tight opening.

The puke rose up into his throat once again when her entire torso came out onto the grass........and just that. He lower half stayed firmly in the car.

She was cut in half.

Alright, no more holding it. He threw up on the ground next to her. His throat burned like hellfire as he coughed up damn near everything he had eaten for what seemed like weeks. Her face was already a shade of white, and her eyes were wide with a blank stare as if they were opened to their capacity with fear just before............

He couldn't fathom it. The secluded road near Lithia was seldom traveled, so he knew there would be no police.

Unless.......

Was that a chevy he was driving?

"Sir.....we have report of an accident, are you alright?"

A voice came through the deathly still air, sounding as if it were shouted through a megaphone. It drowned out the crickets.

"Sir.....I am going to need a response, or I will have to send medical personnel and the authorities to your local. Please confirm you are okay."

Turning away from the car a single tear rolled down his face.........

It didn't need to come to this.

TO BE CONTINUED

"Not too many things excite me anymore. Not many things fill me with cheer and make me smile these pearly whites ear to ear. Maybe I'm getting old. But I would be lying if I said I didn't crack a smile seeing Robbie Bourbon try, or at least give a shit, for the first time in what feels like a full pregnancy. Not only does he look full-term, but it has been far too long since he has squeezed out a promo worth hearing. I'm so proud I was the one to finally induce you, Robbie. To bring that out of you. To finally give us the promo we have all been waiting for. I'd slow clap for you but then I'd essentially be slow clapping myself. I'm not THAT concieded. Dick move.

When Robbie trash talks, it give you goosebumps doesn't it? It makes you say "ooohhh.....burn" to yourself as you listen. You can't help but think that Robbie is fully in command of the shade he is slinging.......

Until you realize WHAT the shade is. And until you realize that Robbie Bourbon is agonizingly full of shit. Your hero is spoon feeding you bullshit, masked by fat aggression, and you are eating it up. Robbie is good at being a bullshit artist, because he actually BELIEVES his own bullshit. At this point, I think he has convinced himself that all the shit he says is fact. He makes few valid points to sprinkle some truth sauce on the salad of overexaggerated bullshit.

A polished turd, is still a turd. Just ask War Pig.

So Robbie seems to want to attack my past? Cool. Bravo. Funny how I called him out for not calling me out, and whats the first thing he does? You're welcome to the trash talk idea, Robbie, I won't even ask for royalties. But you want to bring legacies into this? Sure, lets bring up legacies. You claim I have abandoned my Universal Title quest......you're wrong. What you failed to mention was the last time I went for it I had you beat, dead to rights, and you needed Archie to protect you because at that time you were the better investment. You were the better marketing scheme. At that time, XWF needed their feel good story. Beating the "white hot" Chris Chaos was better for business than losing to him. Archie knew this. You should be having Blue on her knees every night for the next year for that favor, Robbie, because I almost ended any legacy you ever approached before it even began.

But lets talk legacy. I am the only double champion in the company, I am the only one in recent memory to pin Engy, I have won 13 straight and successfully defended my title in 5 of them. Abaondoned my Universal Title quest? How about when you no showed as champion, MORE THAN ONCE, and had to be stripped of the title on national television? How's that for a legacy? You got into one of your moods and just decided to run away. Robbie, I may have put my Universal Title quest on the back burner for the time being, abandoned it if you will...........but you abaonded so much more. You didn't just disgrace the title you are trying to hold over my head like a toy.......you disgraced this company. You disgraced everyone who ever cheered for you, ever believed in you, ever bought one of your realistic Robbie Bouron 4x tee shirts. You spit in the faces of the people before you and got the only reason you aren't doing infomercials in the wee-hours of the weekends or being a curtain jerker in a B-quality action movie taken away from you because Robbie Bourbon is bigger than the XWF. Right? That wasn't even a fat joke. Robbie Bourbon is beyond the XWF, he doesn't NEED the XWF, right? Yet, look where you are. You walk out on us while carrying the largest prize in the world--also not a fat joke--and we think we got rid of you. Then, BOOM, like the freshman 15, here you are. What happened Robbie? There was no life for masked Michelin Men outside of the XWF? People didn't accept you like we did? They didn't appreciate your videos in some dingy room of the Section 8 housing you live in and your views and subscriptions went wayyyyy down? People didn't get your crude sense of humor, your trolling to the point that Trump would find you offensive, and then claim to be "just kidding" when people get upset. No, they don't do they? Because your a loser who hates yourself on the inside and you need victims to take your own fat self hate on. The more you upset your victims, the more they want nothing to do with you, the more you need them. It sucks to die alone, Robbie, and that is why you came back. You were cold, alone, and Blue can only be "good enough" for so long. So, here you are, talking to the hottest superstar in the company right now, about how he has no legacy and holding a title you thought was below you over his head----

Anyone else realize how stunningly, unfathomably full of donkey shit Robbie really is?

I don't like Peter, another sprinkle of truth. But he doesn't like me either. Peter and I click because we are both driven for the same goal, to be the best. We want to be known for something other than previous accomplishments, we want to build for the future.

You're consumed by the past, but it is clearly not the only thing you've consumed. You are so concerned with the "old" Chaos, the loose cannon, the crazy one. The risk taker. You need that Chaos to be back. THIS Chaos, this is the calculated Chaos. This is the Chaos who saw your fat ass jumping from the top of the Chamber all those months ago, and had the wherewithal to get out of the way. This is the Chaos that is quieter, and more dangerous. The loud, boisterous Chaos, he is dead and buried. Robbie, you need to be able to connect to something other than WiFi and realize that this company has written you off. We are giving you another chance now to be something because you're going to be a miserable dick if we don't......and we already have GT and Raven here, we don't need any more of those. I've grown, I've matured, I have learned from my mistakes. You're still the same immature dick you were when I first got here. Robbie Bourbon took shot after shot, but he bricked on every single one. Building a house with all those damn bricks. Subliminal shots against Jenny. Tisk, Tisk. Yes, the bitch is out of her mind, but she is hands down the hottest employed woman on a professional wrestler roster. Have you seen Blue? She looks like you with blue hair. She looks like Shrek is transitioning. She looks like her arm fat could be used as speed bags at a work out facility. Maybe then you guys could have some income for when you decide XWF is below you again.

Because we all know that is coming. Your head is too big for your body, Rob, and that is an amazingly hard thing to be.

I can look past your corny jokes, I can. I thought some of the ones about Peter were funny, actually. A fatter kid calling a fat kid fat, its like the perfect playground masterpiece. Bullying 101. If you can't beat them, join them, right? Just because you haven't seen your dick since Clinton was President doesn't mean you need to pick on poor old Peter.....he's happy now. Let him be chubby and happy. Happy chubby guy.

I am glad I inspired you to come up with witty insults that are only funny to your guild members and other tech-nerds who laugh every time Pikachu sneezes, but this isn't anime, Rob. It is the real world. You are living in a cartoon at all times, and when reality jumps up and bites you in the ass you don't know how to handle it. Your first response is to run, we've seen that already. You have nothing to hang your hat on, no memories to look fondly upon, so you linked up with the one thing that gives you stability in this place...........

War Pig.

And you wonder why nobody takes you seriously? The two of you together are like 14 year old boys at a sleepover, making fart jokes and prank calling strip clubs. Leave the title holding to the big boys. The two of you have more coming to you than you may believe right now. Personally, I think you're sleeping on Peter Gilmour. I think Petey has some more left in the tank.

So Robbie, before you open your mouth again--that is if you do choose to respond to this--please try to remember that there isn't anything you can say to me that I can't flip back onto you. Never throw stones if you live in a glass house, right? You're a joke, but we put up with you because you've got tenor. That's about the ONLY thing you've got going here.

Lazy Body? Sloppy? Calling me fat by the end? I really think you're delusional, Rob. You're grasping for straws, reaching for anything you can find. You're desperate now. You poor, poor bastard. You are going to lose on Wednesday Night, in my home town, in front of my people, and I hope, for your sake, you humble yourself just a bit.

I did, and look at me.

All smiles.

I am going to walk out of my hometown arena the same way I walked in. A DOUBLE champion. And you're gonna walk out the same way you walked in.........

Fat.

Broke.

Useless.

Irellevant.

Be ready, because Chaos is coming.

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