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Travis McCoy · (07-20-2017)

Close your eyes. Just fucking do it ok? I'm not gonna touch you. I'm not going to spit in your face. Really. I'm way over here I can't even get to you. Just fucking close em.

Closed?

Cool

That's the setting. Pitch black. Nothing.

Travis' voice rings out.

“I'm a liar. I wanted to fit in here and I wanted to be something more than what I am. I wanted the cool kids to like what I put out there so I lied. I put on some makeup and made my face look fucked. I started doing an impression of my dad and pretending like my mind had been broken because I thought you'd all enjoy it. That's what you do here in XWF right? You tell stories on your own, it's more important than the words that come out of your mouth. XWF isn't about wrestling really. It's not about two men verbally sparring before they step in the ring. It's about bank heists and murder mysteries. I wanted to play the game the way you all do but I can't.

You want to know how I actually spent the last year?

Of course you do. Our lives outside the ring are what really gets us respect around here.

I became a dad. I had a beautiful daughter. She changed everything man. You know why parents tell you you don't get parenthood? Because you don't until you are one. I know you've heard the cliche's over and over and you think you get it but you don't. Until you hold a little human you made you have no fucking clue. It's waking up for the fifth time in the middle of the night because her mother doesn't care enough to sacrifice her sleep. It's stumbling down the hall wiping sleep from your eyes, miserable because you haven't slept longer than a half hour at a time all week. It's being furious at everything, including the innocent child behind the door who is just scared because she's alone and wet. It's walking into your child's room and picking them up and hearing the crying stop but looking into eyes that are no where close to sleep. It's looking to the ceiling and crying because you know you're fucking doomed to years of this. It's looking down through tears and seeing that little human smile. It's everything bad and everything good in life all at once. It's your child's mother growing distant, because you're so fucking tired you can't give her the attention she needs. It's being angry because the reason you're tired is because her post-partum depression makes it hard for her to be a FUCKING MOM. It's stumbling back into your room and seeing her phone flashing and seeing a text from another guy. It's signing a lease for a house you can't afford alone and finding out your babymomma is trying to start a relationship with a stoner she fucking works with.

It's becoming a single father and having to find an attorney to stop your now pregnant ex from running away with your daughter.

That's parenthood as I've seen it.

And I wouldn't give that little girl up for the world.”

*click*

Travis' mangled face fills your screen. His blue eye blazes and the muddied eye does it's best to blaze just the same. When he speaks it's that gravely voice you should be getting used to by now.

“He told you he was a liar”

“I've been doing this over half my life. This stupid game. We all, me included, try to make it so much more but in the end it's just a silly fucking game. None of you honestly care about the year I spent away from here. I could tell you I had a beautiful daughter who encompasses my entire life now, I could tell you how her mother ripped my heart out. I could tell you I spent it in a coma and start speaking in voices not my own and the result would be the same. Because none of you honestly give a fuck. I could pour my heart out in front of you and in the end you'd spend 20 minutes describing a bank heist or show us how you hunt fucking vampires. It fucking kills me, the shit I see around here. It fucking kills me to see who gets praise and respect while I toil away without so much as a pat on the fucking back.

You don't care but I was royalty before I walked in here. I was a God among men. I was never involved in a murder mystery or managed by a literal soul sucking spawn of Satan. I didn't need to be any of that shit. YOU don't need any of that shit. It muddies the waters. It's self congratulatory. It's fucking masturbation. You all want to tell your own fucking stories with out any concern for the story you could build with the man across from you. I fucking TRY. I've tried to play the way they want me to and it feels fake. It feels phoney. It feels like absolute bullshit. So I'm done forcing it. I'm done trying to be who the rest of you are. If it hurts my standing here fuck it. At least I'll go down doing this the way I want to. Because I don't enjoy showing you all my personal struggle, and no one honestly gives a fuck what I'm doing or struggling with. You know what I do enjoy? You know when this business really lights my ass on fire? When the man across from me hates me as much as I hate him. When the words I say mean more than the soap opera before. That's when this business is at it's best. That's when this silly violent game means more. Those moments elevate all of us. Those moments bring out your true best self. Tell me a great rivalry going on right now. Something that carries real weight for more than a couple shows.

There's nothing.

Just a constant spinning door of a new face across from you every week.

It's mundane.

It's fucking garbage.

But there is hope. There is light in the darkness. For the first time since I stepped foot in XWF I stand across from one of the best XWF has to offer. A legend apparently. A former Universal champion. The problem is the best XWF has to offer is barely more than the worst. I want you to surprise me Chris. I want you to live up to the hype but I'm not betting the farm on it.

I'd love to say Chris Chaos will be my foil. That he'll find the next gear that I already know I have but he won't. He won't because he doesn't give two shits about anything other than getting through this week with a win. With torture porn and his sassy girlfriend. He's happy throwing words out there and getting a pat on the back because he has some god damn drama going on. He's tripping balls in a hotel room instead of uttering my name. I want to fucking hate you Chris but I don't. I'm indifferent. You're a perfect representative for XWF. Desperate to add substance and failing miserably where it matters.
You're like eating hamburger helper in a fancy restaurant. The setting is glorious but the substance is greasy garbage.

You're just a new body across from me.

I want MORE.

I want more because there is a hole in all of us. A gaping lack of something. A missing puzzle piece and what completes me isn't some bullshit back story. It isn't a day job, dick jokes or some brainless blonde bimbo. What finishes the puzzle of Travis McCoy is an opponent that I truly fucking hate. Not because he's garbage but because he's as good as I am. Someone who gets under my skin like a hot shot of heroin. Can you be that Chaos? Could you possibly prove me wrong and make me fucking enjoy this? I'm betting no but...I guess there is always a chance. I guess there is always a possibility that the best XWF has offered me is hiding something. Maybe you've been looking for a guy like me. Maybe you've felt this same empty feeling I have. Maybe you're just as sick of this rotation of nothings and bullshit as I am. So I'll do my part to try and raise you to my standard, and when you fail I'll move on to the next and the next until someone fucking gets it. Until someone makes me hate them enough to love nearly murdering them.

I don't think you're it Chris, and if you're not who the hell is? Because from what I can gather you're one of the best XWF has to offer. Number two in the power rankings, a legend here apparently. And when I watch your shit I don't see it.

Fuck, I've been waiting for you to make an attempt to prove me wrong but I'm sure you're currently busy with your girl getting ready for Savage. Too busy to worry about this guy you've never heard of. Too occupied to clear your throat and give me some indication of who the fuck you are. Tell me why I should give two fucks about you. Tell me why you're number two in the power rankings because I don't see it. I see another bland XWF wrestler trying really hard to be something more than he is. The fact that you've gotten some accolades here doesn't surprise me. Because the bar is set so...fucking...low. I think I'll beat you this week and I'll never think of you again unless someone happens to pull both our names out of a hat and we meet again. Because there is absolutely nothing extraordinary about you Chris. Don't let the general public here fool you into thinking your list of victories here means anything. Even your name sounds like something that would come out a random name generator.

I don't need to have some day job to tell a story. I am the fucking story. Every word is calculated. The clothes I wear to the ring, the way I look, my entrance music. Your entrance music seems to be about a couple getting stoned and fucking. Your backstory sounds like a shitty early 2000's movie about backyard MMA. Your tattoo says chaotic desire. What the fuck that does even mean? Christ dude, no wonder you have spend half your screen time tripping balls in a hotel room. Because when you finally open your mouth it's the same mundane drivel everyone else here spits.

You're GAY!

No YOU'RE GAY

Your dad is GAY

I've got a huge dick!

MAGIC!!

Spare me.

So what are you going to do Chris? Are you going to continue to ignore me or are you going to prove that XWF is worth all the hype. Are you going to show me that Chris Chaos is deserving of the accolades? That you earned the hype, that Chris Chaos is more than the same old XWF bullshit. Are you going to shut my fucking mouth and move on in this tournament or are you going to go out in the first round to a relative unknown? Are you going to prove me right? That your accolades are shit because they happened here. That you're just a big fish in a small pond.

I'm betting the latter.

You'll underestimate me because you don't know where I've been. What I've been through. Who I've beat. You see my backstory and you think I'm just a loser from a family of losers. You see that I went to a draw with John fucking Holliday and you think that's all I am. Just another new guy who will be gone soon enough. You're dead fucking wrong boyo.

I'm the real deal and I'm here to stay.”

FADE

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