I don't care if this gets me suspended again! Let me tell you what I'm going to do, and what I'm not going to do!

I'm not going to water myself down and repress my opinions and the things that I want to say just so some politically correct crude of a cunt can feel satisfied having got one over on me! This is America, and just like it's federal laws have been thrown in my face numerous times over the last few days, I'm going to throw my rights in your faces!

I have the right to free speech. That means I can say whatever the fuck I want to say and there's not a goddamn thing anyone can do about it. Jane and Theo both want to point out that if I have sex with an underage girl, I would be prosecuted and go to jail. Okay I'll give you that, if they find the body afterwards, then sure I might go to jail. But that doesn't change the fact that I can say that I like little girls. That doesn't stop me from commenting when I think a girl is sexy. And it doesn't stop me from earning my living here in the XWF!

This place is called XWF, because our content XTREME! There has never been any content rules before, and from what I've seen there still isn't. We have some freak in a wheelchair rolling around with his dick out, trying to get everyone to put it in their mouth. Oh but he's not being a pedophile Graves... The fuck if he ain't he was trying to get Dolly Waters to help him suck his dick, and for the record you fucking gimp, go near Dolly again and I will fucking end you! See, these restrictions on content do not apply to the roster. They apply solely to me. They exist for no other reason, then I answered the challenge that Jane laid before me. You don't tell me to stop, then call me a coward and expect me to comply. JJ told me to stop as well, and we see where that got him.

So fuck that apology, and fuck you Jane . Let me tell you what I'm going to do. I am going to walk into High Stakes and the capture two of the most precious prizes in the XWF. The Xtreme Title and Dolly Waters virginity!

Despite your no-compete suspension Mr. Pryce, I will be at Warfare tonight.

Just try and stop me!

Cadryn stares in to his phone, perplexed, not quite sure how to feel about what he has just read.

I honest to God, think you're the biggest tool to ever exist. I went to bat for you, claiming that you were acting like this by way of injury, and that's obviously not true. Honestly, though, that's not even what pisses me off the most. What pisses me off the most, is that a complete and total moron, 99% of the time. Now, all of a sudden, you actually make a valid point. That's what pisses me off the most, Graves. Why the hell can't you apply what little intelligence God gave you to actually being productive? You know damn well you're going to end up back on the other side of the fence for this.

Fuck, dude. Sometimes you're so stupid, it makes me want to pee myself.

Mr. Sex is sitting on the edge of a bed in a seedy hotel room. He looks up at the camera and smiles. He's also sliding a Trojan Magnum condom onto his foot.

Mr. Sex: Oh, hello!

He snaps the condom in place, fitting his left foot snugly and ending at the ankle like a prophylactic tennis sock. He slaps another on his right.

Mr. Sex: There we go, well protected. That's right, I have to triple wrap it, I'm that sexy, and I have to keep my condom application game up. Whoo, the ladies get offput when you're slow with a condom. If you want to impress the hot babes, show them neat tricks you learned to put condoms on. One night, I wooed a lustful hot babe by putting my condom on McGuyver style using dental floss, a bendy straw, and the ceiling fan, and then we had a lot of awesome sex right there.

Danny Sex rises, his limp member dangling, an oversized condom barely staying on and ultimately falling off his penis and hitting the floor with a moist plop. He picks up a wife beater from the bed and puts it on, but his penis is still showing. He seems pretty happy, though, not like he's intimidating you with his masculine sexuality.

Mr. Sex: So, Michael Graves, you're going to go sex up someone in the XWF and you think I'm going to sit back? I love sex. I am Mr. Sex. That's my name, for crying out loud. Sex is really my thing. Sexing hot babes, all over the place, diving in and out of pussy like I'm swimming an eight hundred meter medley. And taking the virginity? Yeesh, you probably think a night down at the chili dog hut is the best place to pick up girls, and you're probably just stalking the cashier. Weirdo. Criminy justice, I'm going to show you how to be a huge hunk of masculine hotness such as myself. I'm going to thump it into you like I thump baby batter into the waiting, sweltering, deliciously slick vaginas of hot babes all across the globe. I have sex around the world from Kiev to Carolina, I'm sticky fingered from fingerbanging from Berlin down to Belize, I gave that hot ass a ride on a slow boat to China, tell me where in the world didn't I stick it in Carmen Sandiego? I found that hot babe's clues and location, and after going through her A to Z and back to G-spot for a real deal around the world, we had a lovely pancake breakfast, had a nice warm hug, and went our ways. You, Michael Graves, can't tell the difference between an erogenous and no-fly zone; getting shot down every time you get up.

Bilbo wheels into the room sitting awkwardly in his chair. His jorts are around his ankles but his middle is covered with a towel.


"Wow that's a tiny dick. I'm gonna call Danny Sex the Freshmaker, because he's got a dick the size of a Mentos."


Bilbo's face contorts and there's a squishing, reverse-suction noise. He reaches under the towel and pulls a dirty butt plug (large sized) out, showing it around the room.


"This plug is like three times the size of the Freshmaker's baby cock. I bet the last time he got it wet was when he wrapped some yellow cellophane around it and dropped it in granny's bowl of Werther's Originals. Come over here and try to plug my gape up, Danny Freshmaker."

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Mr. Sex is daintily yet masculinely wrapping his penis in yellow cellophane. He dips it in a bowl of assorted candies, primarily a mix of Mentos and Werther's Originals.

Mr. Sex: You have no idea how well this works.

Three really hot babes walk up, and are all taken aback by Mr. Sex's masculine sexuality. Their bosoms heave, sweat forms on their brow, and insatiable looks of desire and lust overcome each of their really hot faces at the sight of Mr. Sex's penis, his perfectly sculpted manly body, his perfectly haired manly body, his perfectly hairy manly scrote, and again at his penis because it's worth a second look. You took three yourself. As they fawn over his overwhelming masculine prowess, he shrugs and looks at the camera.

Mr. Sex: Sorry, I have this weird hetero-normative fetish, but the hot babes don't think I'm Mentos or Werther's Original. They call me M&M's, because I melt in their vagina, not in their hands.

The three smoking hot babes all giggle and start to flank Mr. Sex. The camera tilts up slightly as they all reach into the bowl so we don't see them all grabbing Mr. Sex's penis at the same time in a particularly classy move from the production crew. Mr. Sex's eyes roll as his grin widens.

Mr. Sex: That's right, babes, Halloween came early this year; you may be frightened at first, but in the end, it's a treat for all of us.

Mr. Sex puts his arms around the three women all teaming up to give him a handjob, and a three woman handjob requires three womens worth of penis. That's the metric unit of measurement for Mr. Sex's penis due to his unusually sexy nature..

Bilbo removes his towel completely, revealing his stiff member.


"I popped a double dose of V today guys. Popped 'em right into my ass, too. Gets to the blood faster that way."


Bilbo then masturbates.

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