Santos: Jeremy, get the bags, we need to get our a**es outta here NOW to grab that cab! The Greyhound bus leaves here for Norman in 45 minutes!

Jeremy is seen in their dingy hotel room outside of Kemper Arena, throwing all of Tony's clothes, supplies and the like in to his luggage bag and duffel bag, while simultaneously trying to get his own set of belongings together.

Tony? Well, he's trying to cram bottle caps on to water-filled beer bottles in hopes that he can fool housekeeping into thinking that the mini-fridge wasn't touched (it was decimated) and not have to pay for the $6 bottles of Boulevard Brewing Company (a Kansas City favorite). After popping the last one on the bottle, he attempts to gently place them back in the fridge, only to realize that beer bottle caps aren't meant to be re-used, so the bottles immediately gush water on to the hotel floor.

Santos: F*ck it, let's go.

Santos grabs his bags from Jeremy as Jeremy tries to put his camera back in the bag.

Santos: Whoa, whoa, whoa, get that camera out. Let's do some action shots! You did charge it up, right?

Jeremy: Yes sir, but the electricity in our hotel was iffy last night, so I only got it up to about 50%. But sir, one thing...

Tony cuts Jeremy off.

Santos: Perfect. Get that thing rolling while we get these keys back to the front desk.

Jeremy: But sir...

Santos: I said, get it rolling. Here's the elevator.

Tony and Jeremy step in to the elevator, squeezing in between a young, midwestern couple and their little girl, who looks to be approximately five years old. The woman, of moderate height and slender build, looks to be around 30 or 31, while the man, at about 5'10" and also of slender build, looks to be slightly older, but also a bit nerdy.

They look down at Tony's legs, look at each other wide-eyed, and then to their little girl, who says...

Little girl: Mommy, daddy, why isn't that girl wearing pants?

Tony looks down to realize that he is, in fact, only wearing his red, plaid boxer shorts from the night before and somehow managed to forget to put on pants.

Santos: Holy sh*t! Definitely should've made putting on pants a top priority. I guess I forgot with all of the late night "fun" that I had, amirite? (Tony nudges the father).

Jeremy: But sir, we watched Comedy Central together and fell asleep early...

Tony glares at Jeremy, then looks back at the parents to realize that he probably shouldn't have (i) swore in front of a child, or (ii) talked about hypothetical late-night escapades in front of a family of three.

Santos: Oops, sorry folks. My bad. We're just on our way to the Greyhound bus stop a few miles from here to get to Oklahoma, so we were in a bit of a rush. And, wait He looks to the little girl I'm not a girl!

Little girl: But you have long hair! Only girls have long hair.

Santos: Just because my hair is nicer than yours doesn't mean you need to insult me! You'd be better off if mommy over here sent you to the hair salon and had it all chopped off so you could start fresh, and look LIKE A BOY!

Jeremy, realizing that Tony was picking on a five-year-old girl, nudged him in the ribs and apologized to the family. Thankfully, the door opened at the 1st floor. The family, appalled by Tony's behavior, but with the father unwilling to confront Santos, streamed out of the elevator first, followed by Tony and Jeremy.

Tony and Jeremy proceed to sprint to the counter, slap the room keys down at the desk, and sprint to the door to meet their cab driver. The front desk attendant, who happens to be an older woman (probably mid-50s), looks to the keys and the gentlemen leaving the hotel and asks if they want a receipt for their stay.

Santos: Nope, fine, thank you!

Tony and Jeremy exit the doors. The attendant looks to her 2004-era Dell computer to close out the room and realizes a note that was input for this account:

Man mentioned that he did not have a credit card to reserve room. He agreed to put down 25% for the room at check-in, then pay the rest at check-out. DO NOT CHECK HIM OUT WITHOUT RECEIVING FULL CASH PAYMENT

The woman, realizing that Tony had only put down $50 for a $200 room, jiggled herself out of her chair and made a half-hearted attempt to get to Tony and Jeremy. However, upon reaching the door, the image of Tony motioning for the cab driver to "book it, now" could be seen, and the driver sped off.

Santos: Haha, suckers. They let me put down 25% in cash in agreement that I'd pay the rest upon leaving. Come on, they should've known that I'm a struggling wrestler. I can't handle that!

Jeremy: That's incredibly unethical, sir. Wait, can't they just invoice you for the remainder? I assume they asked for a permanent address, especially since they didn't have a credit card to peg your room to.

Santos: Easy. I put down 1600 Pennsylvania Ave in Washington, DC for the address. You know, the White House. They accepted the White House address as mine! Amateur hour.

Jeremy shakes his head in disbelief.

Jeremy: Fine, do you want me to start shooting? How far to this bus stop?

Santos: About three miles. Yeah, let's go. You ready?

Jeremy: Yup, go ahead, Ms. Santos.

Jeremy cracks a smile, referring to the joke from the little girl on the elevator, but Tony doesn't even notice.

Santos: Okay, perfect.

HELLO XWF Universe! It's your friend Tony Santos here. I'm just on my way to catch a bus down to Norman, OK for next week's warfare. Exciting, isn't it? An outdoor stadium! This is the big time, folks, much bigger than the caliber of wrestlers that I've faced to this point, surely, but I digress.

Tony whisks his hair back, smiling for the camera. He still has no pants on, mind you.

Santos: I've proven in a short period of time that I am the real deal. I beat out a self-proclaimed "hardcore icon" in my debut, and just last week, I managed to go toe-to-toe with some mentally disabled chaps in a match that was, let's be honest, a glorified handicap match, thanks to my needing to carry the weight for my team.

However, I do want to give a quick shout out to Heironeous, our resident paladin. I saw your little bit with Steve Sayors earlier today (I do love the internet). Thanks for being a "team player" and not being a "glory hogger." I really do appreciate it, since having you truly participate in that match on Wednesday, rather than simply throwing punches outside the ring (you know, where you can't actually win a match when you're not the legal man) would have certainly led to us getting our a**es handed to us. So again, thank you for putting out a few minutes of irrelevant effort and then standing in the corner, blowing kisses to the crowd or whatever you do to get them to love you. You left the wrestling to a true professional, and I do appreciate that.

Now, for my opponents next week...

Tony is cut off by the cab driver, who is pestering him for his fare.

Santos: Ah! We're here. I'll get to Knight Mask and Rain Man (that's you, NeoNero) later. We've got a bus to catch. How much?

The cab driver tries to tell him that the fare is $20, but Tony has already thrown two ten-dollar bills his way, along with a few quarters. Not caring about the vitriol that is now coming from the cab driver, thanks to Tony's generosity, Tony pulls his bags out of the cab, and then pulls a slow moving Jeremy along with him.

The Greyhound bus can be seen boarding in the background as passengers get ready for this ~400 mile trip through the Midwest.

Santos: Oklahoma, here we come! Here you go sir, my ticket.

Tony hands the male Greyhound bus driver his ticket, only to receive a palm to his chest.

Driver: Sir, you'll need to put some pants on before boarding.

Santos: Ah, that's right.

The scene fades to black.

September 2013 and May 2019 Star of the Month
1x Hart Champion
1x Television Champion
1x Xtreme Champion