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#MemeQueen Luca Torchwick · (03-11-2016)

I'm going to dunk my nuts on Nico LeVay's face.

I am.

Why wouldn't I? It isn't like I signed up to fight the fuccboi because I wanted to have a legitimate test of skill. It's not like I respect Nico as a competitor. No, I decided I wanted to have a breather. A fuccboi to body just like that. A warmup. Yes, I wanted a fucking warmup before I went out and faced Maverick because I wanted to see what it was like to face a fuccboi who was below Maverick.

Yeah, I had to scour the fuckin roster for that.

I was gonna hit up LeStrange but after his inspiring performance in the Shove-it Tag Match it was clear he was the man carrying the team so obviously he's better than Mav.

Nico on the other hand, isn't.

What is Nico?

He's another generic, cookie cutter ass #weakboi with a dark and demented persona hastily thrown together to be edgy as fuck. Like Sebastian Duke. Yeah, Nico is Sebastian Duke. Only, you know, without any of the success.

Does it sound like I'm bored?

I am.

Already.

Because Nico LeVay is as boring as watching paint dry. Like, I don't even find any fun in bringing up his past failures (see, living, breathing, not being dead) and running him down like I would with any garden variety fuccboi. No, it's just kind of sad really.

I'm still gonna murder this fuck.

No L-M-A-Os.

No L-O-Ls.

No memes. No jokes. Except for the man standing across from me. And of course it's an inferno match; Tyrone obviously wants me to be at a disadvantage because I've actually called him on being an inept fuck. Because he is. Tyrone is the most inept fuck on a squad of GMs that includes Thomas Girard L-M-A-O okay I lied. One L-M-A-O but that wasn't even directed at Nicky LaVoo.

But it's hard not to laugh at Tyrone.

It really isn't.

I mean look at some of this #questionable choices.

Luca actually being granted his match against Nick-who La-seriously, who?

Austin Fernando fighting a dude in a bunny suit who hasn't been around in forever?

Four people I've turned into punching bags at some point or another facing for a shot at the most coveted title in the XWF?

Jesus, and Tyrone acts like he's here to save the XWF? Dude couldn't save a guy on land from drowning. It's like the guy goes around and invents problems so he can half-assedly "fix" them while talking down to the roster who, and I don't think he gets this, are the only reason he still has his cushy job in the first place. Seriously, everyone on the roster could fuck off and he'd be shit outta luck because ain't nobody changing the channel to see his burnt toast ass lookin' face on their TV screens.

Ain't nobody paying any money to see him talk shit in place of wrestlers doing shit.

He isn't a fucking star.

He's a fucking nerd who got a little bit of power and is letting it go to his head.

Come on, XWF! I let you all know this shit forever ago! And you still aren't doing anything about it?

Shit, guys.

I mean I don't really give a shit since Tyrone's too much of a pussy to get in my face. He knows I'll slap him so hard he'll end up with LeBron's hairline. He knows I'll kick him in the nuts so hard he'll cum out the back of his throat. He knows I'll punch him in the mouth so hard his fuckin' grandchildren will need serious dental work.

So he'll just be content to talk down to the bitches who won't do shit.

Though I can't wait to see the inevitable revolt.

Put my ass in power if you want a boss to talk shit at you. At least then the shit talking will be from a place of actual superiority and not nerd rage.

Eat a dick, Tyrone.

And eat a dick Nico.

Not mine though. You don't have enough badges to suck deez nuts.

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