The scene opens to a large hall. Its walls covered with gracious paintings, lined with sculptures, and draped all around with red and golden cloths, drapes, and curtains. Soft, piano music echoes around the place, and whether or not it's a recording, or if it's actually being played, is somewhat of a mystery. Silver-pleated chandeliers run along the top of the ceiling, in the very, very tall hall. On the ground, there is a mighty dining table, crafted from the most exquisite wood, and draped with a deep, burgundy table-cloth.

At the head of this table, is a well-kept man. Dressed in velvet, red robes, with the initials LI embroidered over the left side of his chest, in a luscious, golden thread. Sitting upright and proper, he uses his knife and fork to tuck into his early morning meal, taking modest mouthfuls, and politely chewing it, without once opening his mouth. Dabbing his lips with a napkin, he cups his wine-glass and picks it up, taking a small sip of the priceless white wine inside. He sets it back upon the table-cloth, and looks at the camera and speaks in a well-mannered tone.

It seems you have joined me at a rather opportune time. I was just tucking into my favourite breakfast, you see, not long after coming out of my shower--

He stops himself mid-sentence and chuckles to himself, graciously taking another sip of wine. He fingers the rim of the glass as he sighs.

Where are my manners, hm? I am Linguini Maximus Isaac. Recently moved into these United States from my hometown of Calais, in France.

Linguini cups his wine glass once again and raises it to the camera, as if giving a toast. One side of his lips curls up to create a neat and polite smile.

Pleased to meet you. As I'm sure I will be when I do meet all of you, in due time.

He sets the glass down one more time and rests his elbows on the table, tenting his fingers under his nose. He stares past the camera for a few, as if lost in thought somewhat.

Where to begin... I feel a little flustered at how sudden things have changed in recent years... But that is a story for another time, a story which I am... looking forward to sharing.

But I wouldn't say that story-time is what the XWF is about... would you? The place where the burliest wack-jobs of the world gather to participate in a sport that is about as enthralling as watching a partridge's feather grow. But I do know what you are thinking. Why, dear Isaac, are you participating in such a... barbaric means of proving one's worth if you oppose such a rudimentary and pointless means of doing so?

Well, luckily for you, I have already developed an answer.

Gently and calmly un-tucking his chair, in such a way that does not cause the wood of the chair-leg and the floor to scrape one another, Linguini stands and begins to walk with his hands behind his back, admiring the paintings and sculptures around him.

Business... publicity... opportunity. I share the belief of many others when I say that you can never have enough money. Fighting is not just about besting others in a competition, that would only entertain the overweight imbeciles who drool over the thought of 40 cent fries. Fighting in situations such as these can be... gracious to one's bank account. Travelling across America, spreading the word of my trade... that is what it is all about. But I must pay for this somehow, and if that means I get my hands dirty then, well, that's fine with me.

Knowledge is a great gift. One I bear with most prowess and modesty. And using this knowledge I can fall any opponent, given time, patience... and just a stroke of luck. If you are so inclined to believe luck exists in the first place.

I have overcome great challenges, great strife, and great trouble, thanks to my... superior intellect. I have mastered the field of knowledge, and there are few men alive who can even dream of matching me within those circumstances. And now, because my life-long aim of being the very model of a proper, intellectual mastermind of the arts is over... my new aim of becoming the greatest fighter in the world comes to fruition.

My dear XWF... you are about to see the future bloom before your very eyes. Do you feel it in the air yet? Do you know what is coming toward you right at this very instance? Whoever I do meet in the ring on Monday, know this. This world is ever-changing. The new is constantly replacing the old, and ideas that were once considered right and undoubtedly true, are just trivial jokes in our modern society. Your future... our future... will be radically different to what you... pretend to know. And I am that first step.

As Linguini comes full-circle around the table, he sits back down into his magnificent, ornate chair, picking up his knife and fork once more.

Consider this a form of natural selection. Because in this constantly changing world, only the fittest can survive.

Poking the end of the fork through a brussel sprout, Linguini raises it to his mouth before adding with a smile;

This is your only warning.

He eats into the sprout as the camera fades out.