The scene opens inside of the garage belonging to Jimmy Smart, the founder and owner of Jimmy's Chicken X-Press, and manager of "The Dimallisher" David Pryce. The garage stands wide enough to fit two vehicles, or in this case, a training room complete with a weight bench, treadmill, and sparring area. Inside, Dimallisher is going to town on a punching bag that's set off to the side of the sparring area. Dave is looking vicious as he mauls the punching bag with punches, kicks, slaps, and headbutts.


The Dimallisher wasn't alone in his training session, no. He had his good friend, coworker, and valet, Sandy, to encourage him every step of the way. She sat off to the side on an old couch eating a family pack of skittles and sipping on a Miller Light.


Sandy: "You ain't hittin' it hard enough, Davy. That's why you ain't winnin' none of your matches!"

Dimallisher: "It was only my first match, Sandy!! I guh-guh-gave it my best shot."

Sandy: "I sure as hell didn't see you doin' shit out there, son."

Dimallisher: "Yeah, well, you were no help!! Yu-Yu-You didn't even come out to the ring with me."

Sandy: "Bitch, I told them motha' fuckers that I was your valet but they wouldn't let me walk you out to the ring. They wouldn't even allow Jimmy to go out there. They pretended as though we didn't even exist!"

Dimallisher: "W-w-well, one thing that I've learnt so far is that muh-muh-management has its head up their asses!!"

In a blind rage, Dave charges after the punching bag, lets out a war cry, and tries to hit it with a big boot. However, he misses the bag completely and instead puts his foot through the wall.

Dimallisher: "Suh-suh-son of a bitch!!"

Sandy: "Ha ha ha! HA! Ha-"

Sandy begins to choke on one of the skittles that she had in her mouth while she was laughing at Dave The Dimallisher. She motions at Dave with her hand to pat her on the back in order to dislodge the fruit treat. Dave gets a sadistic smile on his face, positions himself behind Sandy, and runs into her with a big boot to her back! The Skittle flies across the room just as the exit door opens and Jimmy Smart walks in. The Skittle pop Jimmy in the eyeball, and causes him to shriek.

Dimallisher: "Sorry Jimmy!"

Sandy: "Jesus Christ, Davy. You didn't have to fuckin' kick me, you stupid bastard."

Dimallisher: "Will you shut up already, Sandy? Let Jimmy talk!"

Jimmy: "Thanks, Dave..."


Jimmy: "Alright, guys. Overall, solid effort last week... Ah fuck it, who am I kidding? We sucked balls out there."

Sandy: "Amen to that!"

Dimallisher: "We? Who's we? I was the only one out there. Where the fuck were you guys? I got my buh-buh-butt kicked!!"

Jimmy: "Dave, I told Giovanni Ferrari and his staff that we were your managers but they still wouldn't let us pass. Hell, they didn't even bother to play your entrance music like they did with most of the other superstars, which was really fucked. There you were giving it your all and they couldn't take five seconds out of their day to press the play button."

Dimallisher: "I concur. I do believe I would have performed better had I gotten to walk out to Ruh-Ruh-Rockstar by Nickelback."

Jimmy: "That's the kind of shit we have to deal with, Dave. Management doesn't give a shit around here, better get used to it. They didn't even bother to put in any effort to plan their card ahead of time."

Dimallisher: "Wuh-wuh-What do you mean, Jimmy? What is the match for this week?"

Jimmy: "That's the thing, Dave. It's 'open booking' or in other words, 'show up and we'll find something for you to do.'"

Sandy: "Ah hell! You best get your butt in shape, Davy!"

Dimallisher: "Sh-sh-shut up, Sandy!! All you do is sit around and eat food while I'm in here working my ass off. "

Sandy: "Bitch, I'm trying to get my figure goin' so I can look good for you at ringside. No one's gonna give two shits about you without a hot piece of ass in your corner."

Dimallisher: "Wuh-wuh-well, then go inside, eat more chicken strip baskets, and LEAVE ME ALONE!!"

Sandy: "Are you fuckin' stupid, Davy? I'm supposed to be your valet. A valet accompanies you to the ring. Ergo, you need to get used to havin' me around more often."

Dimallisher: "What if I don't want you around!!"

Sandy pops up to her feet and puts her hand on her hip as things get heated in the room. Jimmy is quick to restore order.

Jimmy: "Guys, guys! Calm down and let me speak."

Dave removes his helmet and takes a seat on the floor while Sandy sits back down on the couch.

Jimmy: "Yes, we sucked out there last week. The fact of the matter is, management threw us into a match that nobody cared about, didn't bother playing our music or showing our entrances on TV, didn't let me or Sandy come to ringside, and Dave got his ass kicked. Dave, what the fuck happened to you anyway?"

Jimmy walks over to the flat screen mounted on the wall of the training room and hits the play button on the remote. We then watch a clip from Dimallisher's match.

Quote:The Dimallisher slowly got up, Zak was laughing at the ref's pain. Tune had rolled into the ring, he had a bat with him. Tune rose to his feet and ran to at Zak and swung. Zak ducked and now his back was to Zak. The vampire hit a Spike Reverse DDT making Tune's head hit the ground hard. He went for the pin, but the ref was still down. He was trying to get the railroad spike out of his arm. Zak sighed deeply as he got up and went to the ref and dragged him over.

>> Fast forward 30 seconds...

Mandii turns to a still downed Rodney Tune and throws the light up Master Sword from Zelda at him. It cracks Tune in the head and then Mandii covers for the pin!

1
2

Three!

Jimmy: "Dave, how could you just stand there and do nothing while Mandii took control over the match?"

Dimallisher: "I-I-I was dehydrated or something, Jimmy. I wasn't sure where I was... That is why I could have benefited from having you guys out there to give me water."

Jimmy: "Dave, you can't always expect us to be out there. There might be more instances where me and Sandy are blocked from going out there with you. Next time, I better see two empty jugs of water in your dressing room. Make that THREE empty water jugs."

Dimallisher: "Yes sir."

Jimmy: "Now, let's talk for a second about Monday. Like I said earlier, it's an open show so literally anything can go down in Chicago. I'm sure by now you've had a look at the names that have been announced thus far. What are your thoughts, Dave?"

Dimallisher: "Well, I see a lot of guys talking."

Jimmy: "And?"

Dimallisher: "I seen that Sid Feder is planning on standing in the ring and laying down for whoever walks down there. No one has really bothered to take him up on his offer, so why don't I be the one to duh-duh-do it?"

Jimmy: "Wait a minute, Sid Feder said he was going to lay down for whoever walks into the ring?"

Dimallisher: "That is what he's claiming. Whether I believe him or not is an entirely different issue. Sid is known to be quite the tr-tri-trickster. I'll wrestle him if that is the case!!"

Jimmy: "Hmm. It could be a trick, or it might be that Sid really is wanting to dump his championship. A title win like that could do wonders for us-- it could get Jimmy's Chicken X-Press the attention that it needs. Just think of the all the TV advertising! People will flock to the restaurant that features the XWF European Champion on its staff."

Dimallisher: "Ye-ye-yes, Jimmy. I might not be the best trained athlete in the XWF, but I know how to execute an effective pinning maneuver. I figure if Sid does have a trick up his sleeve, he'll try to kick out when he goes to 'give away' the European Title, and then proceed to kick my ass. However, if I can lock him in the perfect pinning move, then he won't have a sh-sh-shot."

Jimmy: "It might just work. Like you said though, you'd have to make sure it was a pin that he couldn't get out of."

Dimallisher: "I do have one in mind that we can practice later. I like to call it 'The Bombing' pin."

Jimmy is getting excited now as he sees dollar signs begin to float over Dave's head.

Jimmy: "So we're gonna do what no one else on the roster had the balls to do and call out Sid Feder?"

Dimallisher: "Yes. that is exactly w-w-what I plan on doing."

The Dimallisher turns towards the camera.

Dimallisher: "You listen here, Sid, you buh-buh-bitch... I'm doing what no one else on the roster has had the balls to do. I'm challenging you!! You say you're laying down on Monday night? Well good because I am a very dangerous man when other people are laying down around me. The other day, Jimmy fell asleep on his couch and I farted in his face!! He didn't wake up for six hours."

Jimmy: "Wait, what?"

Dimallisher: "Sorry, Jimmy.

Sh-sh-Shit, I just gave away my ss-ss-strategy...

Well, there you go, Sid. This Monday, I will come out there and no one can stop me. I will come out there, pin you with my butt in your face, let rip the world's stinkiest fart, and watch as the referee counts your shoulders down. That way you'll be too deprived of your oxygen to kick out of my lethal pinning combination. "

Jimmy: "Dave, he has a mustache. Don't you think that might block out the effects of your fart?"

Dimallisher: "A muh-muh-mustache? You think a mustache can defend against my farts? Oh Jimmy, my fart will scorch that strip clean off his face.

Anyway, Sid, it would be my pleasure to take your European Title. I am a big fan of yours, and I hope that after this is all said and done, we can can form a stable with Peter Gilmour and your father. "

Jimmy: "You see, it's very simple Sid. You have something you don't want, and we're willing to take it off of your shoulders. If you want to lay down and make it easy on yourself, then we don't have a problem with that. If you have a sudden change of heart and want to wrestle, then we can do that as well. I plan on putting The Dimallisher through the very best training regiment so he will be prepared. We'll see you and everyone else on Monday."

Scene fades.

I hate people who look different

and if u dont like it then u can leave