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Dr. Zero · (01-05-2014)

"Time out, dude. Are you fucking kidding me?" asked Stevie Tyler to his roommate, LJ, as they walked down the downtown sidewalk. "I've been out for almost 3 months and they're throwing me up against Eli again? That dude is terrifying!"

"Well, your...umm...alter-ego has been running through everybody while you were out."

"What they hell even is that? Some chicken-headed dude just pissing everyone off so they come after me? This is messed up, dude."

"Hey, to be fair, Dr. Zero did beat Eli and Gilmour in the Lethal Lottery tournament." LJ's eyes trail off, watching a pair of fairly attractive women walk by in those tight pants girls seem to wear during winter-time by the grace of god.

"Well, yeah. I mean, I saw the tape. Eli just walked off."

"Bro, just...If you're that worried about it, just figure out how to do the shit he does. I saw Dr. Zero change into that NAZI guy. He even changed into Sebastian Duke once. Hell, he made Sebastian Duke tap out! I mean, if he can do it, you should be able to, right?"

"Dude, Gary's too full of himself to do any of that. I'm gonna' get my ass kicked. Straight up. The dude is a maniac. He tried to crucify me last time."

"And he didn't."

As they continue to walk down the sidewalk, immediately after passing a kitschy pet store with a doggie dish sitting by the front door, a man in a red robe stepped in front of them. He wore a long, gold chain dangling from his neck, holding a rather large gold cross. The man stared at Stevie from behind his thick glasses.

"Excuse me, sir. Would you be so kind as to donate a few dollars to the Catholic Youth Missions Program?"

Stevie attempted to navigate his way around the man, in a vain attempt to pretend as though he didn't hear him. The man had excellent footwork, however and stayed right in front of him with his hands cupped.

"Please, sir. We take poor, neglected youths and give them housing and food."

"Look dude, that sucks, but I never carry cash."

The man's eyes rolled in the back of his head.

"YOU BASSSSSSSTARD!" he shouted. At that moment, a group of three tentacles danced out of his mouth, reaching for Stevie's head. Stevie jumped back, and LJ bailed like the little bitch he was.

"Dude, what the fuck?" As Stevie's eyes remained focused on the tentacles coming from the man's mouth, two other men lept from the roof of a nearby two-story building dressed like those silly-looking Vatican guards. Each man carried a spear.

"SUBMIT, IN THE NAME OF THE LORD!" one of them shouted. The tentacles on the robed man retracted, and his eyes went back to normal.

Stevie, being surrounded, kicked the robed man, thinking that the fact that he was unarmed would make him the easiest target to get past.

He was wrong.

The robed man did not budge, and both of the others shoved their spears toward him. Stevie evaded one of them, but the other sliced his upper arm.

"YOWCH!" he shouted, not unlike a cartoon character would in the same situation.

Stevie grabbed the spear and attempted to yank it past him, thinking he would punch the attacker on as he stumbled by, but he was too weak. As he pulled, the second attacker kicked and swept Stevie off of his feet.

The two attackers stood over him, both with their spears at his neck. A large amount of rubberneckers had arrived to watch the scene. No cops, though. They're never around when you need them to stop an attack from a tentacled Catholic cardinal and his posse, are they?

"How should we proceed, Father Buscaglione?" one of them asked the cardinal.

"The Order of the Owl would have him dead," he responded.

Stevie began to cry. "Dude, seriously? I...Dude, you're religious...Just fucking exorcise me or something."

"It's not that simple, child," he said. The two men raised their spears, preparing to bring them down into Stevie's chest. A cloud of smoke surrounded Stevie, and it when it cleared...

Oh, goddamn...Shit is getting real...

IT'S GARY'S WRESTLING AVATAR!

The spears come straight down and the metal breaks on Gary's chest. He grabs the spear's polls (easy guys) and uses them to launch the two men away from him. Gary quickly gets to his feet and immediately begins stomping toward Amintore Buscaglione. The cardinal backs away, pleading with Gary, when suddenly...

*SSSSSHHHHRRRRRRRIIIIIIP*

He head peels back at the corners of his jaw. The tentacles reach out, bringing more with them, and they push the rest of his body down not unlike someone taking off their pants. The onlookers shriek and run away in fear.

The tentacle monster lashes at Gary. He knocks one tentacle away, then another, but eventually, the sheer mass of them are able to overtake him. Gary falls to the ground under what was Buscaglione's weight. The center part of the monster has a gummy looking opening and it nears Gary's face. A veiny rod slowly extends from it, threatening Gary's mouth.

"NO...NO...DON'T TOUCH...ME...THERE..." Gary forces through strained breaths.
Suddenly, the beast splits in half and sizzles. Gary closes his eyes instinctually and he hears a familiar, stern yet soothing voice say...

"That is his no-no square."

He cracks one eye open and is relieved and horrified to find his former lover, Stevie Tyler's guardian angel, Rayha, standing above him brandishing her flaming sword. She extends a hand to help him up, and he doesn't hesitate to taker her up on it.

"I...uh...You know...Thanks and stuff...but I coulda' handle..."

"Shut up," she interrupts him. "Get him back to the apartment. I'll keep watch here to make sure these people stay safe."

Gary gets up and begins to run. He wasn't afraid of anything that might come at him, but he knew Rayha was right. He needed to get Stevie home to keep him safe.

Also, he was afraid of Rayha.

He neared the closest Publix and stopped to peak at some steaks that were visible from the window. A hand grabbed his head from behind and tugged at the mask. Gary roared.

"RRRRROOOOOOOAAAAAARRRRR!!!" See? This narrator doesn't lie.

The mask slipped off, and and a green mist flew out from where his head once was. The mist enveloped his entire body and before long, Stevie Tyler was with us again. Stevie turned and faced the man. He was a very large, Middle Eastern man.

"Hello, Mr. Tyler. My name is Sadoon Jalali. I represent a secret organization known as The Order of the Owl." Sadoon pulls a gun on him. "I'll need you to come with me."

A black sedan pulls up behind Sadoon, and two other men get out. They rush to Stevie and throw a black hood over his head before forcing him into the car. No one seemed to notice, and Jadoon enters with them, sitting right next to Stevie.
"Mr. Tyler, I am sure you are well aware of what your...predicament could mean for the world. Never before has someone with your affliction generated such publicity, and because of that, The Apocalypse could start with you. The organization I am currently representing can not have that. You see, we are the chessmasters. We move the pieces where they need to go, but you tried to change the game."

"Dude, I didn't do any..."

*SHINK*

One of the men stabbed Stevie in the leg, the other covered his mouth, so he couldn't scream.

"You will keep your mouth shut," said Sadoon. "We make the rules on earth. The Apocalypse will happen, but only on our terms. That means you are now under the protection of The Order of the Owl. You work for us now. You do what we tell you to do. You go where we want you to go. You do all of these things, Mr. Tyler...or you die. You should make sure your demon knows this as well." Sadoon plays with Gary's mask for a bit.

"Seems like a lot of trouble for little stupid fun in a wrestling ring, does it not?" he says.

The car comes to a stop and the men pull Stevie out. They go inside and down a feel halls and through several more doors. Eventually, they come to a room and they shove Stevie inside. One of the men steps in and removes his hood. The place looks like a Russian prison cell.

"This is your home now. You do not have to worry about anything coming to get you here. Just do as we say, and you will be safe. And so will your roommate," says Sadoon. Stevie comes at him, but they slam the door shut. "Do not worry, Mr. Tyler. We will still allow you fulfill your obligations, but as soon as your are finished with your match against Eli James IV and John Raide, we will return you immediately here. We cannot risk having you out in the public. If you rebel against us in anyway...We will kill your roommate. If you continue to rebel beyond that, we will murder everyone you have ever loved. Have a good night."

Sadoon leaves Stevie who, of course, pukes in the floor. Sadoon is met at the corner of the hall by the mysterious figure seemingly leading The Order of the Owl, Christopher Thalmond.

"Good work, Mr. Jalali. Out of all of my men, you were the only one to get the job done. I just hope you're right in leaving him alive."

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