It seems Hunter Payne has used his connections to get a TV show. As he has just shot the Pilot episode for the ET (Entertainment Television) Network! Hunter and his associates have already agreed upon shooting an entire season. If, and only if, the pilot does well. Will Hunter Payne's reality show have as much success as other reality shows you've seen? Only time will tell...

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We open the pilot episode with Hunter Payne is a solitary room with just a camera and and a green screen with a random background, just like what you see with all reality shows. When the actors need to have a soliliquy that the rest of the cast cannot hear. Unless they have friends that watch and tell them, or just watch the show themselves! Which defeats the whole purpose of having a soliliquy room! But nevertheless, everybody else has one, so Hunter Payne will as well.



Payne: Hello everybody, my name is Hunter Payne, and this is my reality show!


Now when I say "reality", I do mean "reality". Unlike those other loosely based reality shows. Mine is no bs and pure entertainment! So sit back and enjoy World of Payne. We actually wanted to name the show Payne in my ass, but it got rejected. Haha. Enjoy.

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We get an outside view of Hunter Payne's loft building before quickly cutting to Hunter Payne and Kevin Hart in his living room, playing Madden 25 on the PS4. By the looks on Kevin's face it looks like Hunter Payne is winning. Hunter has the volume blasting on his big screen. "Touchdown!" is said by the commentator guy who replaced John Madden.



Payne: In your face!


Kevin: Hey yo! fCENSORED that sCENSORED N***a! Those damn referees trying to fCENSORED with me because I'm famous!



Payne: It's a video game.



Kevin: Oh, so it's impossible to have terrible refs in a video game? Is that what you're sayin'?



Payne: Not at all. I'm saying that you suck at video games!



Kevin: Yo fCENSORED this man! I'm out!

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Hunter Payne is back in the siliquey room. Just FYI, this is going to happen a lot during this (and all) reality tv shows.



*Notice the blue line above seperating the actors from the show and when they need their soliliquy time.*



Payne: Kevin acting like a drama-queen or a mitch as he would call it. Is nothing new... just rarely televised.



Subtitles pop underneath, describing what a mitch actually is.

Male + Bitch = Mitch

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In this frame, Hunter is chasing Kevin down his stairs. Kevin makes it to the parking lot before Hunter catches up to him.



Payne: Hey, Kev cut the drama! This ain't the Kardashians homie. Besides, I need you to go with me later. I have to go to and see J. O. Y. and I don't want to go alone.



Kevin: J. O. Y? Is that like a new boy band or something?



Payne: No man, Joy!... my ex? .... brunette?... hot body?...



Kevin: Doesn't ring a bell.



Payne: The bitch who cheated on me.



Kevin: OH JOY!!! Why didn't you say so. Yeah, I'll go. Just to see the fireworks though.



Payne: There isn't going to be fireworks. I just agreed to see her in person. We are going to talk. I'm going to tell her I've met someone else and that I've moved on.

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Payne: Real reason I want to see Joy on my pilot episode... Kinda fCENSOREDed up, but Payne and Joy is still a draw to a lot of fans... Oh man, that makes me sound like an ass**** that's just using her... Hmmmm, oh well!

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-Commercials-



Next scene we are in Hunter's car. He is driving and Kevin is riding shotgun. Hunter has a bluetooth set up in his car because "safety first" kids. Speaking of safety, the sound you can hear on Hunter's radio is called 'Safe and Sound' by Capital Cities (cheap plug in). Hunter is head nodding to the beat before Kevin turns the catchy song down.



Kevin: So ummm do you think Joy is single?? AHHH HAHAHA!



Payne: You want my dirty sloppy seconds Kev? Go for it.



Kevin: Well you make it sound nasty, but I'm still down.



Payne: Great two nasty people that cheat. You two are perfect for each other.



Kevin: Hey, serious question, Is she a freak in the sheets??? Does she get down and dirty???



Payne: Guess you'll just have to spit game at her and find out.



Kevin: Come on Hunt! Just tell me!



Payne: Yeah Kev. She's a freak in bed. And a psycho out of it.



Kevin: Alright Alright Allrighhhhttt!!! What's the freakest thing she's done to you?



Payne: Let's see, She's tied me up and had non-consensual sex with me a few times.



Kevin: That's not that bad, what else?



Payne: Well, she's roofied me before and I woke up in her bed naked.



Kevin: Nice, what else?



Payne: Hmmm, she's forced me to have sex with her while I was in a hospital bed recovering from a show where I got hurt... Yeah, try getting it up on the same night you tear your deltoid muscle. That sCENSORED sucked. Literately.



Kevin: Well damn!







Suddenly the whole car starts ringing, remember Hunter's bluetooth is hooked up. The radio caller ID says it's Jenny Alvin. Hunter Payne's current girlfriend. Hunter and Kevin exchange shocked faces with each other as Hunter is hesintante to press the answer button.

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Payne: Oh sCENSORED!

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-Commercials-






We are back, and just as Hunter is about to press the answer button, his hand is slapped away by Kevin. What the hell Kevin?



Kevin: What are you doing man?! You better let that sCENSORED go to voicemail!



Payne: No, I can handle it! Just don't say anything about Joy!



Kevin: Man, you think this is the first time I helped someone cheat?! I'm a pro at this!



Payne: First off, No your not! Because you got caught cheating remember? Second, I'm not cheating. I'm just going to go see my ex girlfriend without telling my current girlfriend. That's not cheating.

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This time it's Kevin in the seliquy room.



Kevin: Alright, me cheating is old news. And at least I'm not the one who got cheated on like Hunter was! AHHHH HAHAHA!

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Hunter finally presses the answer button on what was probably the final ring before the voicemail.



Payne: Hello?



Alvin: Hunter?



Payne: Yes beautiful?



Alvin: What are you doing?



Payne: Nothing, just hanging out with my friend Kevin. What about you?



Alvin: Drinking tea.



Payne: Awesome, that's awesome... well I have to go babe, I'm driving and there's a cop right there. Text me.



Alvin: Okay, wait... don't you have bluetooth?



Hunter and Kevin exchange frightened looks. "She's on to us!" they thought.



Payne: Uhhh, yeah but I took it out and forgot to set it back up.



Alvin: Oh... Why did you take it out?




Hunter and Kevin once again exchange looks. What's with the 20 questions Jenny?



Payne: Ummm... It wasn't working right. Look babe I have to go, that cop is in my rear view. Alright? Bye.



Alvin: Okay b...



Hunter quickly presses the end button, hanging up on his girlfriend Jenny Alvin mid-sentence. Whew, that was scary. Hope she doesn't get mad when this airs.




Kevin: Smooth Hunt. Real smooth...



Kevin says sarcasticly to Hunter.



Payne: Shut up Kev.



Kevin: Are we there yet?



Payne: Yeah, almost.




The scene changes to the coming up next screen that airs before a commercial break.


Coming up:


We see a quick shot of Hunter outside.



Payne: Joy?



The coming up next promo ends.



-Commercials-



We come back and Hunter and Kevin hop out of the car. They seem to be at what looks like a park.




Kevin: Man, out of all places, why did you choose to meet up at a park?!

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Payne: Because there's lots of witnesses at a park...

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Hunter is outside walking and he calls out her name. Just like the promo said he would!



Payne: Joy?... Joy?



Joy: Hunter?



A female's voice can be heard in the distance. Hunter rushes over to where he heard Joy. Cameraman and Kevin be damned.




Kevin: Yo! Wait up n***a!




By the time they catch up to Hunter he is already talking to Joy, who is with a somewhat muscular white guy. The camera spends a good minute admiring Joy while Hunter is talking.








Payne: Oh Where are my manners? Joy this is Kevin. Kevin this is Joy, and this gentlemen is her boyfriend.

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Now we have Joy is the soliliquy room.



Joy: Well... One of them. ;)

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Kevin: Boyfriend?




Joy's boyfriend: Hey Mr. Hart, it's nice to meet you. I'm like a huge fan!




Kevin: Yeah, cool cool. UHHH... Yo Hunt. I'll be in the car.




Kevin points to the car and leaves obviously disappointed that Joy was taken.

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Payne: fCENSORED Kevin! He was supposed to be in my corner for moral support and he fCENSOREDing leaves! Ass****!

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Payne: It's always great seeing you Joy.




Joy: Yeah, you too.




Payne: I'm glad to see you landed back on your feet, and got yourself a new relationship.

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Payne: NOT!

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Payne: I'm actually in a relationship as well.




Joy: Really? With who?




Payne: Her name, is Jenny Alvin. She's from Canada, and she's super hot!

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Joy: Awww! He's sooo cute trying to get me jelaous!

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Joy: That's great. Just don't mess things up with her like you did with me.

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Payne: Hold the fCENSORED up here!!! You messed things up with me! You fCENSOREDing crazy bitch! What a fCENSOREDing wh***!

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Payne: I won't. And the same to you. Make sure you keep an eye on her bro.



Hunter directs that towards Joy's boyfriend.



Joy's boyfriend: What?



Joy: Nothing! I told you, only speak when spoken to!



Hunter looks in shock at how fast Joy went from zero to sixty to yell at her boyfriend. Same old Joy it seems.



Payne: Ummm I was speaking to him though.



Joy: Look, we gotta go, but it's was nice seeing you. We have to do it again soon, with less people.



Joy points to her boyfriend secretly, but not that secretly. So he gets her message as well.



Payne: Absolutely. Maybe next time you can meet Jenny.



Ouch! Hunter saying that remark to let Joy know that she has no chance. They hug for a second and Hunter heads back to his car. Looks back, and waves goodbye to see that Joy is physically and emotionally abusing her boyfriend. Ahh the good ol' days.




-Commercials-



The music in this episode was from:













We come back to Hunter Payne driving back home with Kevin angry at him.




Kevin: She has a boyfriend!



Payne: How the fCENSORED was I supposed to know! And since when has that stopped you before?!




Kevin: Whatever n***a! My reality show is better than this sCENSORED!




Payne: Hmmm, So you up or another game of Madden when we get back?



Kevin: Hell yeah!



Payne: Cool.




The camera is now outside showing Hunter driving away. With 'Summer Breeze' by Seals and Crofts playing in the background, and that ends the pilot episode of World of Payne.