Long Way From Home
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I touch my hand to my cheek and feel the cold chill from these unrelenting hours in the blistering cold. I'm finally emerging from the thicker part of the woods as I begin making my way up the hill ahead. With every step I take having to be several inches high just to navigate through the snow, my legs feel as though I've been treading for decades. More importantly than
that, my soul feels like I've been traveling through these knee deep snow storms for over a hundred millennia. Coming toward me is what resembles a starfield of snowflakes dancing furiously as these hellacious winds punish my face with the sting of a thousand cattail whips.
"Hello down there!"
–a man's voice from a great distance ahead,
I raise my hand to shield my eyes from the sun and peer ahead, far up the hill that I am gradually ascending. I can't identity who the person is, nor can I spot any others with him but I'm treating this as a possible ambush nonetheless as I continue forward with a completely natural demeanor. About ten paces up the hill and I notice the man speaking into a phone... great; now somebody somewhere is aware that he's encountered me. I draw nearer to the man as he pockets his cell phone and walks toward me to speed up out meet. He skips and slides his way down the hill as small avalanches accompany him toward me. The wind whipping down the hill and toward me takes hold of all that extra loose snow and delivers a barrage to my already half frozen face.
"My goodness are you alright?"
(his eyes now straining afar whence I came)
"How long have you been out in the cold? You must be frozen through and through."
His initial display of concern for a stranger's well being appears genuine; the most pertinent detail of that fact being that I am indeed a stranger to him. Had he recognized me it would have meant one of two things... neither of which would have resulted in his remaining upright. This man shall receive my welcoming approach on this day.
"A thousand thanks, kind sir. I am indeed fine, but I–"
(brushing some snow off of my coat and shielding my face from the winds)
"I could use some assistance..... IF you don't mind?"
I make sure to end that statement like a question; that added element of possibly being at the man's mercy will assist me in getting exactly what I
need out of this man, because what I
want is absolutely nothing to do with him. Just as I suspected, the man's words nearly trip over one another as they scramble to exit his mouth fast enough;
"Oh, of course I will help you! Anything you need young lady. The name's Igorov but you can call me Iggy; I'm here to help!" The man is even more eager to assist me than I'd imagined; the curious part of my brain can't help but speculate as to what this man would have done if this was a mid summer's day and I wasn't 95% hidden beneath these winter clothes. Then again, I suppose he cannot be blamed for being as courteous as possible on the rare occasion that he runs into
any female out in this remote part of the world.
"I'd give all of the riches in my home land for one hot bowl of anything resembling food," I say with the faintest smile cued discreetly to the right corner of my mouth. His attention to detail even out in these winter storms is impressive as his eyes do observe my lips for just that split second enough for him to return the smile to me fully. The warmth exuding from his response alone suggests to me that I am in good hands...
so fortunate for those hands more than myself.
"Why I'd be honored to do just that and I'd wager to say you can grab more than just one bowl. Let's get back up this hill and my cabin's not to far. What'd ya say your name was?"
We both begin making headway through the thick snow up the hill as I give him a brief glance out of the side of my eye and say,
"I didn't say. I think I'm entitled to a secret or two – me being the lady and all." Now one might not expect this technique to work as it is quite bold and could result in me being told to take a flying leap, but again— remote part of the world equals remote possibilities present themselves to me for use.
And behold—flying colors:
"Ah yes but of course! I will simply call you 'madame' if you don't mind... Where are my manners?" Not only does it
work, but this man is asking where
his manners have defected to. He feels as though he may have crossed a line with me and continues trying to right the wrong...
"Just for that slip up, I'm going to make sure you've got some good food to take with you when you go on your way."
A considerably fine gesture — assuming he keeps his word, of course — I now find myself saved the trouble of
taking the extra food later when I am setting out.
Excellent. In conditions such as these, it is of the highest importance to conserve as much energy as possible or else I would have already taken a much different approach. I am pleased at the prospect of eating much sooner than I had anticipated as we reach the cabin but I am still on my guard, especially when he says,
"I'll bet you're famished! You must be tired too, eh?" This man has no idea how long I've been walking the cold and it's going to stay that way.
"Oh, I'm sure I'm not nearly as worse for wear as I must look; I'll be fine as soon as I get something warm to eat."—but it only takes me a split second to realize once inside this cabin...
there's no food here!
The man doesn't even notice me brush up against his left hand as he fiddles with the door, shutting it tight and locking us both inside. I let myself appear to be looking around the cabin even though I'm already aware that we have a serious problem on our hands here. The inside of this cabin is practically bare except for a furnace and a few chairs.
"Why don't you get a little more... heh, heh, heh... comfortable," says the man whose sudden change in tone would suggest that
he believes he is in control of this situation. Contradictory to his fatuous belief, I took solace in the fact that
I was in control as I slowly began unzipping my black winter coat. The man's eyes bulge as my plain looking winter coat — nothing to behold on its own — is shed from my body and allowed to slowly fall to the floor. What lies beneath is a sight that no one could have expected.
"See me as I was meant to be worshiped!"
(now it was my turn to have a renewed sense of control in my tone, completely catching this infidel off guard)
"Now... common barbarian... kneel before me!"
I notice something he never does — that trickle of his own blood on his left hand — but instead, he's focused on the fact that I've just transformed before his very eyes. Here I stand, just as I was moments ago, but to him I have become surrounded by flame. In his mind, I've just picked up a shield and am reaching to my right to grab my flaming lance.
The man's skin burns up as this entire cabin is engulfed in flames before his eyes. I see a pathetic man on the floor at my feet, in a room coated with frost........ but the pathetic man before me sees the Egyptian Snow Pharaoh in all of her searing glory!
He sees me take my flaming lance and I plunge my fist forward, stopping just inches before his chest. He looks down and sees that lance protruding from his chest and feels it sticking through his back. If this poor man only realized that the only true piece of red in this entire cabin was dripping off of his left hand, he might have still had a chance, but instead he is left screaming and rolling around on the floor of this empty cabin as I prepare to do what must be done. I pull a large knife from its sheath on the side of my leg and I glare at its gleaming blade; my reflection of crystal clarity staring right back out from within that cold, flat, reversed world.
"Aren't you as ravishing as ever–" but something isn't right; this blade is much too clean for the amount of fresh meat that is laid out before me. I can't let another moment pass without putting nature right back on course where it belongs—with me at the top of the food chain. I look down at the man who is now motionless and I find great satisfaction in knowing that somewhere, out there, his soul believes that he was murdered in cold blood by my hand when the truth is that his time had merely run out. When your human senses are in disarray at the moment of death, it sends your spirit out into the great beyond with permanently distorted perception. It would be like going to hell but a hell that's on steroids, acid, and bath salts. This piece of human waste who apparently had his sights set on violating me is going to spend the rest of eternity being fucked in his chest by the epitome of whatever vile creature he considered to be the most evil and repulsive of all. If he had any choice in the matter, you can believe he'd be wishing he could be back here with me, feeling my steel caress his cheek bone right now.
(relief in my voice) "At long last..."
I gently lift a piece of freshly sliced meat off of my blade. This man was talking on a cell phone when I originally encountered him, so that tells me my time is limited but I am most certainly
not leaving this cabin on an empty stomach.
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