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Jessie-ica Diaz · (09-06-2013)

OOC: This isn't the format for the rest of the show, however because this is the preshow and I still have more than I want to have left for the first round to do, I kinda cut this short. Apologies to Black and Bryce for that.

Captain Extreme
- vs -
John Black
Jump Your Opponent Match: In order to win, you must clip a pair of active jumper cables to your opponent's nipples or testicles. No hair pulling allowed.

Both Captain Extreme and John Black are standing in the ring, opposite each other when the preshow comes on the air. No entrances, because that's what the preshow does. Not knowing what else to do, the referee signals for the bell once the two workers set the jumper cable setup in the center of the ring.

Extreme and Black look at the jumper cables, then back at each other. Back at the cables, once more to each other. One more time to the fucking cables, and another god damn time to the other. Fuck this monotony!

The video feed fades to white, then comes back to seeing John Black lifting Extreme up in a suplex, and dropping him stomach first on the top rope. Following it, he bounces off the ropes and delivers a big boot to the side of the man's head! Extreme falls off the ropes and lands on his back flat on the mat. Black rebounds off the opposite end of the ring and hits a leg drop on the fallen man.

Fast forward a bit later, and we see Captain Extreme getting the better of Black, hitting him with a series of jabs and kicks to the midsection, finishing it with an explosive spinning backfist.

Once more, we move ahead in time, to see both men drenched in sweat and body oil, stuck in a test of strength, when...

Without warning THE LIGHTS GO PITCH BLACK!

A low hummmmmmmm is heard.

HUMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM............

........................................

..............................................

Fireworks blast off on the stage! A big massive ball of flame pretty much fills the stage, looking like the sun! AND MR. XWF POPS OUT!

THAT BOY WITH THE BIG OL' DICK JUST POPPED OUT DA SUN! HE POPPED OUT DA SUN!

He runs down to the ring. John Black and Captain Extreme pretty much have their thumbs up their asses, not knowing what the fuck to do because they see how huge the bulge in Mr. XWF's nether region is. They want no part of that shit!

Mr. XWF rolls into the ring and kicks Captain Extreme in the gonads. ROCK BOTTOM! ROCK BOTTOM! ROCK BOTTOM!!!! Captain Extreme has been flattened! Mr. XWF turns to John Black............... AND GRABS BLACK'S DICK! He's yanking and tugging on it, causing John Black to have to jump up and down himself to try and move with the direction of the pulling.

Mr. XWF: Cum, bitch! CUM FOR ME!

Mr. XWF keeps tugging as John screams and moans! At first we'd assume in pain but could it be that he's actually ejaculating right now from Mr. XWF tugging his shit? ROCK BOTTOM! ROCK BOTTOM! ROCK BOTTOM! It no longer matters because John Black is flat on his back right next to Captain Extreme!

Mr. XWF waves his arms back and forth signalling for something. He dashing to the left, bounces off those ropes, and comes back with a jumping hump to John Black's face! It's THE PEOPLE'S COCK! THE MOVE! He winds up and he does it again, this time to Captain Extreme! The People's Cock has delivered The People's Cock in full force tonight, bizzitches!

Mr. XWF heads to the ropes, stretches his leg out and takes a big step through the middle of the ropes like a boss. He laid that cock down and he's looking prouder than a mother fucker.

Looking up at our ramp for a moment, which leads only into a pitch black abyss, a shadowy figure can be seen giving the scene a round of applause.

John Black is the first to stir, grabbing both cables, attaching one to Extreme's lip, and the other his shlong-a-long.

Extreme screams in pain as the electricity pulses through his veins!

WINNER: JOHN BLACK

Just then, music begins to play over the loudspeakers!

From beyond the black abyss, steps Jessica Diaz. As opposed to the usual manner in which she dresses, that doesn't garner much respect, she's dressed in a flowing white dressed, adorned with a black trim. She saunters down the ramp, beaming at the victor whilst twirling the microphone in her hand with each step. Her eyes glisten in the light that she stops under, taking a deep breath before begin to speak in the slow paced voice that we associate with this side of the woman before us:

"Well done, Johnathan. I can call you that, can I not?"

Black doesn't know how to respond, so he just nods and hopes he didn't do anything to piss her off.

"And despite the, interference, toward the end of the match; I feel as though you would've won it anyway. Therefore; since Peter Gilmour is still banned from the arena, I hereby nominate John Black to take his place! Yes, both are incoherent, rambling buffoons. It'll be like Gilmour was never banned! This is perfect!"

John begins to nod his head furiously, ecstatic that he's being chosen to join the tournament at such short notice! The smile that stretched as far as his lips would allow soon fades however, when he looks over and sees the smile on Jessica's face turn itself into a frown.

However, to see the match end in the manner that it did leaves a sour taste in my mouth. And, I could punish Mister XWF, but I feel as though this is all your fault, and Captain Extreme's fault. There were two of you, and one of him. Yet, he managed to get the upper hand and laid you both out.

Do you know how embarrassing that is? How that makes the entire show look bad? No, you don't, because you only care about yourself and getting beaten by a robot headed rapist to notice how your actions affect all of us."

She pauses for a moment, slowly raising her fist into the air.

"And now, it's time for both of you to learn how Jessica Diaz deals with embarrassments."

Her fist barrels downward, until it points directly at the ring.

"Go!"

From out of nowhere, three hooded individuals slide into the ring from separate sides! They pounce on Black, the only one standing, as Extreme looks on from the corner that he managed to get to. A series of clubbing blows topples Black to the ground, but the attackers don't let up. One of them pulls out a, tire iron? Oh no, this isn't good.

Said attacker hoists the iron high above their head and drops it down on top of Black's! He drops like a ton of bricks, but they aren't done yet.

Jessica steps into the ring, seemingly calling off the trio momentarily.

"For what you two have done, I should lash you both to a cross like the degenerates you are! However..."

She lines up the opportunity, and kicks Black square in the mouth with the toe of her boot. Blood flies and splatters on the canvas while he writhes in pain.

"...I'm not going to do that. Instead, I'm going to leave it up to this one!"

Grabbing the tire iron wielding attacker's shoulder and turning them around to face her, the hood falls off, revealing their identity to be none other than Alexandra Callaway! Jessica locks eyes with her momentarily, and immediately looks down before continuing on with her speech.

"I'm much crueler than I appear to be. Have at them, you three!"

Turning around, she walks out of the ring and back up the ramp, and disappearing into the back.

Callaway, and the other two attackers, turn their attention back to their prey, so to speak. The two approach Extreme and hold him in place by his arms while Callway cocks back with the tire iron and swings for the fences at his head! As the iron hits him, the two drop his arms and he falls flat on his back. Turning back to Black, she hoists him and hits him with a powerbomb onto Captain Extreme!

Looking over her handiwork, Alexandra nods and walks out of the ring, leaving the two in the care of...

Minxs and Zak Misery!

They smile, looking over their victims as the cameras fade to black.

Yeah, we know what they were planning.