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John Austin · (08-18-2013)

Hey you know what? fuck you, that's what!

What do Wayne Gretzky, Owen Hart, Martin Short and William Shatner have in common? The answer is simple, awesome Canadians. They all excelled whether in the ring, on film, on the ice or on Starship Enterprise. Matt Lennox has excelled at...umm...well we don't exactly what he has excelled at but it was something damn it!...

Okay I lied to you, that man has excelled at sucking up the air we breathe, wasting precious TV time that could be used on that beauty, Christine Nash...am I right? ;) ...Now normally we would find John Austin at some random location to cut his promos but this time he is on the radio? ...who let this idiot have radio air time? ....God save us all

Welcome back to the nightcap on one o six point one, what you just heard was I by Heaven and Hell. This performance was off the live album back in two thousand nine at Radio City Music Hall. Rest in Peace Ronnie James Dio...you left all us metal heads way too soon. We will be be right back with a word from our sponsor......

TROJAN MANNNNN!!!!!!!!!!!!

After the hilarious Trojan condoms commercial, we are back on the air

Welcome back to the nightcap everyone, I am your special guest host for the night, XWF's own...Mr. Rock N Roll...John Austin. Now before we get back to some rocking tunes, I want to take this time to talk about my upcoming match on Madness. Now for all you listeners out there who know me, you know I complain like the normal American. I am conspiracy theorist and a overall nutcase. Now you all know how much I CAN NOT STAND! Canada. I can't stand the way they talk, the fact they think they are better than us and the fact that they have free healthcare. Hell I am professional wrestler with the biggest company in the world and I don't have any healthcare at all.

Okay so John told a lie, but it's the radio, everyone lies on the radio...just look at Howard Stern ....OOOOO yes I said it :P

Now this Monday I have a match with a formidable foe. A no good stinkin Canadian by the name of Matt Lennox. See for those of you who don't know, I have already whipped Matt's ass on THREE! separate occasions. This coming up Monday, I have to do it yet again. I don't understand listeners, I mean what is it about Canadians trying to prove a point. They got to prove they are better than us at everything we do, yet this man has lost three times to me already and wants to go again?..I am getting real tired of taking you on Matt. Why don't you do us all a favor, the boys in the back and the fans...leave XWF for once and go play hockey or something.

Boy we can hear the ratings for this episode just tanking. Hear that splash? that was the ratings falling in the water :P

Now I am getting the signal from the producer that I need to wrap up this little tirade I have going on and play some music, so I will end it with this. You and I, Matt, we have a lot of history together. I whipped your ass in our debut. Drove off in a car, with you locked in the trunk and took off with your precious title. Also my boys that was once The Connection showed the world that nothing was incredible about your group of guys. This Monday, I get you one on one. No bs, no interference, just a pure wrestling match. We will see who is the better wrestler this Monday night and you might as well chalk up a win under my name because I am the best there is, the best....no....because my name is John Austin and I am the greatest technical wrestler in the world today....

Now onto a track...specially for you Matt Lennox .....this is Dancing on Your Grave by Motorhead.......

What strong words from the challenger. This is a feud in the making readers and fans alike. Who will prevail...tune in this Monday and watch your boy, John Austin...go 4-0 against Matt Lennox

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