Seriously, are you done with your pancakes? Your acting like your having sex with them.

Hey I like me some pancakes.

Yeah, well lets get this done. I have things to do tonight.

We had been working on a list of the participants for the rumble taking place on Madness. We got through half of them, and still had a few to go. Either way you look at them, it doesn't change the fact of the matter. I plan on doing the same thing I always do. I will be heading into the rumble, taking out every singe person and destroying them in the process. In the end, I will move on and take Madison to a place where he has never been before. The inside of Gilmore's massive ass!

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Waldo
Pros: Great at hide and seek, a big fan or radios
Cons: Pure fresh meat, looks like a candy striped dildo

So, now we have the world renowned Waldo of Where's Waldo.

That's exactly it. Where in the blue hell is Waldo? This dude just shows up and expects to make an impact. I understand making a mark, but he needs to find his way out of this throng of wrestlers first.

But I think he is standing out, at least with his outfit.

Yeah and I stand out for being punned to death.
Final Score:0.5/10

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Caliban
Pros: makes a hell of a first impression, likes to make friends
Cons: talks a big game, without backing it up; for some reason has no confidence

So he has no chance I take it?

Nope.

Final Score: 0/10

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Mr. Satellite
Pros: another vet, been a dominate force for a long time
Cons: has been at the top too long, has yet to face me


WOW, those cons weren't even cons. They sound more like you drawing a blank

No, I have the utmost respect for Satty. I just don't see the point in stating the obvious. He's a great competitor, but his time has passed. It's time for a new face of the XWF. He's good, but I plan on taking him on.

Final Score: 7.5/10

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Mr. Natural
Pros: multiple world champion (apparently), looks like Dwayne (i guess)
Cons: has more ring rust then me, loves the english language

This guy was good back in the day, right?

I guess. Doesn't really matter, because he is not important in this situation. I'd expect him to come in and out within the time his music is blasting through the arena.

Final Score: 1/10

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Peter Gilmore
Pros: one badass motherfucker, doesn't care who you are because he will take you on
Cons: more overconfident then myself, thinks "Juan" is John is Juan.

This is Peter Gilmore. He is one hell of a competitor.

Yes I understand that, but the fact is he is who he is. He has his own agendas. Like I told him before, I'm here to take the Kingship. If he wants Madison, he's more then welcome to him AFTER he gives up his Kingship to me. Besides, he has never been a concern of mine anyways...

Bullshit...

Final Score: 3.5/10

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Hunter Payne
Pros: he's a great wrestler, knows how to put on a good show

Cons: has his work cut out for him, life in shamble right now


So, because his girl screwed him over on Saturday, he has no chance.

I didn't say that. He's a man with an immense amount of rage, regardless of his demeanor, he's ready for a fight.

Then what's the problem?

It doesn't change the fact he lost his woman. Eventually that rage turns to pain, and I plan on preying on that pain. Nothing against him, but I'm here to prove myself. If he wants to bring his family drama with him, thats fine. That's why I'm here in the XWF. I'm here for me and me alone.

Final Score: 3.5/10

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Everyone Else
Pros: They are extra bodies, Swift Ion is the most experienced of the bunch
Cons: They are exactly that, extra bodies.

Red X, SokolovxxRed, IjThe Savior, ultimate mystery, Swift Ion, Table are your extra bodies? I'm sure they could hold their own.

Doesn't matter, because they all have proven nothing. If they come into this rumble, its just to increase the number of elimination. I would hate to make their first experience in the XWF be basically pointless, but that's the world we live in.

Final Score: 6.5/10 Collectively, each guy gets one point, except Table gets 1.5.

---

Thank god, were done...wait what about Juan Madison?

Who?

Juan Madison. The guy everyone thinks is John Madison, but he actually isn't.

Oh, I have a plan for him...

Our final list...

Jonny Rebel- 2.1/10 Andrew Morrison- 3/10 John Black- 2.5/10 Dwayne The Rock Johnson- 4/10 Jessie Diaz- 5/10 Shawn Steele- 5.5/10 Mr. Radio- 2/10 Waldo- 0.5/10 Caliban- 0/10 Mr. Satellite- 7.5/10 Mr. Natural- 1/10 Peter Gilmore- 3.5/10 Hunter Payne- 3.5/10 Everyone Else- 6.5/10

Now, based on the math I have done, we can figure what everyone's chance is to winning the rumble. After some careful equation solving, I have come to the definite answer to the percentage of possibility that one of the following men/women wins the rumble...

Final Score: 46.6/100 or 47% chance of winning.

So basically, your saying that 19 people have a 47% chance of winning?

No I'm saying that the chance of one of them winning is 47%. Each person has roughly a 3% chance of winning. Unlike myself, I have the remaining 53% chance of heading to Madness on the 19th to take what deserves a better home, the Kingship of the XWF!

Reasons I'm Better Then You

2x UFO Champion
Highest Viewed Shove It GM Show: 8/31/13