Continued from: The Return of the Thespian!

When we last left our heroes, Sir Lionel had successfully tricked Future Jake Borden into giving him the secret to time travel by posing as the present Jake Borden from the past. Lionel had given the secret to time travel to Elon Musk, who used it to invent a time machine… So YKW could do what he set out to do from the beginning… Save his partners from being killed in the ring by Blade, Landerson, and the Hixx sisters!

And now, the thrilling conclusion!

---

THE PAST…(?)

YKW steps through the time portal to ringside… He sees his teammates in the ring…

”There they are! I’m not too late!”

”Even better! You’re right on time!”

YKW spins around! All three of his friends who helped him on his journey! Captain Future! Elon Musk! And Sir Lionel Pennyfarthing are all in the front row!

”Guys! How did you get back to the past? I left before you did!”

”Yes! But we traveled further backwards! A whole hour earlier, so we could get good seats!”

”After all that effort we went to inventing a time machine, I wouldn’t dream of being anywhere but watching you save your teammates! It shall prove to be the performance of a lifetime!”

YKW nods appreciatively. ”But, wait… Captain Future… I thought you couldn’t see the past!”

”Yeah, I’m blind as FUCK right now!” Future palms directly in front of him… ”But I needed to be here to remind you… Before you go on a journey of revenge, you should dig two graves!”

”Oh, I actually dug four graves. Cuz I’m going to kill the four people who killed my partners.”

”Ah, excellent. Sounds like you’re ahead of the game.”
DING DING! THE BELL RINGS!

”Ah! It’s time! I’m going in there and saving my partners!”

---

EIGHT MINUTES LATER…

JC: My God! MY GOD!

JR: This… this is the most sickening display of ultra-violence in the ring I’ve ever seen! I… Someone has to do something about this! THREE MEN ARE DEAD!

Laying in the center of the ring, blood rapidly pooling under his skull… a steel folding chair wrapped around his throat that has torn its flesh, effectively garroting him…

GERALD “YKW’S LONG-TIME PARTNER” COSGROVE

Lying through the debris and wreckage of three burning tables outside the ring, his corpse literally on fire and nearly unrecognizable…

LELAND “YKW’S MENTOR WHO WAS TWO DAYS FROM RETIREMENT” PENNYWORTH

And, having been propelled from the top of the X-Tron, crashing into the electronic production box, with tens of thousands of volts running through his blackened, smoking form…

ANDRE “YKW’S BROTHER THAT, TO THIS DAY, YKW DOESN’T REALIZE IS HIS BROTHER” SMITH!

At the base of the ramp, some guy…

Some Guy?

Yeah, that one.

YKW collapses to his knees, burying his head in his hands…

”NO… NO…”

He turns upward to the sky, facing God herself, as if to demand how she could this happen…

”HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOW?!?!!”

…Elon coughs, raising his hand. ”I mean, I’ll tell you how… You tried to crank Razor over the head with a steel folding chair, ironically covered in Razor Blade’s… but he ducked and you ended up catching Cosgrove across the throat…”

”You panicked seeing one of your partners dead and tried to shove Pennyworth to safety… but he fell off the apron and through three flaming tables…”

”And I couldn’t see fucking shit for the last guy, but it sounded like Andre thought you were killing them all one by one so he climbed the X-Tron to escape you, you went after him to try to explain this was all a misunderstanding… And he backed his way off the X-Tron and through the electrical box.”

….

”...Huh. So Blade, Landerson, and the Hixxes didn’t kill my partners… I did?”

”I didn’t see that coming! Because it happened in the past!”

All four of them laugh!

When the skies suddenly part… a light shines down on all of them!



”Gasp! It’s God herself!”

Heavenly music plays as a beautiful woman, full of knowledge and grace...

shines down unto our foursome and reveals a great wisdom…

”Excuse me, I’m going to have to ask all of you to leave Medieval Times! This instant!”

---

IN REALITY… SLASH POST CREDITS “WHERE ARE THERE NOW?”…

Our four heroes did not, in fact, invent time travel and successfully travel back to the night of YKW's fateful match...

They got high on ketamine, and while hallucinating everything you read, simply went to a Medieval Times.

YKW was standing in the fight pit of a Medieval Times restaurant, having pummeled and beaten up the Red, Green, and Blue Knights… Thinking they were his partners.

He later ate a whole turkey leg in one bite.

Elon watched while trying to bet money that the Blue Knight would leave WarGames Universal champion…

He lost $46.4 billion dollars.

Sir Lionel had his agent Gene Branagh email Medieval Times if he could audition for the role of King at the 3:30 show.

The email went unreplied to.

Later that night, Captain Future would finally watch the movie Memento.

He now has no idea why he wrote a bunch of shit all over his body.

THIS ADVENTURE WAS BROUGHT TO YOU BY COSTCO BRAND KETAMINE! KETAMINE IS BETTER WITH FRIENDS!