Threaded Mode | Linear Mode

Stevie Tyler · (07-25-2013)

Maybe Even That

"Listen, Stevie, his name is Drotte the Liar. That's what he does, bro. There's nothing to be afraid of," Gary said, trying to calm down Stevie who was pacing back and forth in his living room. To an earthly observer, it would have appeared as if he was having a very serious discussion with himself.

"Nothing to be afraid of? Dude, nothing to be afraid of!? I have EVERYTHING to be afraid of! Because of YOU I'm stuck in ANOTHER wrestling match with a guy that's already kicked my ass once in ANOTHER xtreme rules match! Because of YOU I'm having to get in these matches all the time with people more experienced than me, tougher than me, bigger and stronger than me! Because of YOU, ON TOP OF ALL THAT, GARY, I now have to worry about a gaggle of demons and angels converging on ME TO SPARK THE APOCALYPSE! AND YOU TELL ME I HAVE NOTHING TO BE AFRAID OF!?" Stevie had a vein about to burst in his forehead as he jabbed a pointer finger in the demon's chest. Again, to anyone else...he's poking air here. Right in front of his dingy, gray couch.

Gary sat down. "Bro, I'm telling you. Nobody's mad at me. I mean, sure there's a FEW guys who don't like me as a neighbor, but it's hardly anything that'll affect you. And angels are dicks, bro. They're after everybody. Everybody knows that. That's why Drotte's lies are so BELIEVABLE, you know? He just twists common knowledge to mess with people."

Suddenly, Drotte appeared, out of nowhere, uncomfortably close to Gary on the couch. Gary and Stevie jumped, Gary off of the couch.

"BRO! I hate when you do that!" shouted Gary.

"Mmm, yes. My apologies, Baal'Nezz," said Drotte, insincerely (go figure). "I heard the foul things you said about me. I am displeased. I thought we were friends."

"But, you said...," started Stevie who was prepared to call Drotte on making it seem as though he and Gary were anything but friends.

"HE'S A LIAR, STEVIE!" Gary points out to remind him. Drotte winces sarcastically.

"That's no way to talk about a lady," said Drotte, who, as shown in the last RP, looks a lot like Bill Gates. A margarita glass appears in his hand. He sips with his pinky out. He would.

"But...you're not a lady," Stevie pointed out.

"Oh, but aren't I?" Drotte countered.

"GOD DAMMIT!" shouted Gary loud enough that the upstairs neighbors would have heard, if they could hear Gary. Instead, they just got a really uneasy feeling, and silently agreed to avoid eye contact with Stevie at the mailboxes from now on.

"He certainly does," said Drotte. A fly buzzed out of his left nostril, directly into his drink, which he then sipped. Consuming the fly-spawn-thing. Stevie cringed at the sight. "But enough of these shenanigans. What, pray tell, is the problem? Is there something you think that I have lied to you about?" 'Lied' dripped as it came out of his mouth. The snark. Stevie often felt that if he had met Gary in any other way, he'd have liked him. They seemed very much alike. He wanted to punch Drotte.

"You want to strike me. I can feel it. Why is that, Steven?" Drotte is very observant, apparently.

"No...I just...," Stevie stammered.

"Come now. And they call ME 'the Liar'. The issue appears to be concerning what I had told you a few days ago, Steven. I honestly don't know why you'd be concerned. I admitted to you that I wouldn't believe the things I was saying. Of course, I would, woudln't I?" Drotte crossed his legs, took another sip, then readjusted to cross them the opposite way. For some reason, it unnerved Stevie.

"Dude! Right there! Right there! What is that!? The way you said it! Am I bringing on the apocalypse or aren't I?" Stevie seemed desperate.

"There IS NO APOCALYPSE!" shouted Gary. "Christ with a tattoo on a mustang! Everything he says is a lie!" Gary is almost stomping at this point. Drotte smiles.

"But, if everything he says is a lie then...but...he's said that the apocalypse thing is a lie!" Stevie sat next to Drotte out of exhaustion. A fly buzzed out of Drotte's ear and landed on Stevie's shoulder, vomiting a pink substance before poofing away. "How do I know which is which, Gary?"

"Just don't pay him any attention at all, bro! Stop listening!"

"Oh, please. Like I'm Tinkerbell and this is Never-Neverland," said Drotte, clearly offended. "I don't disappear because people stop believing in me. I am quite more capable than that. Here's the truth, Steven. I'm only telling you because something about you appeals to me..."

"AH-HA! You want Stevie for yourself!" accused Gary. "That's the whole reason for this! You can't have him! The law says he's mine!" Drotte rolled his eyes and sighed.

"As if I couldn't find loopholes in Baal'Nezz's paperwork," Drotte said, laughing. "No, no. The last thing I want is this human. The truth, Steven, is that the war I mentioned will happen right here." Drotte poked Stevie on the forehead for emphasis. "I don't live in linear time, on a straight line as you do. I see the whole of history as one clump, and it the battle is grisly and it's all Baal'Nezz's fault. I'm sorry, but you can't stop it. You...also can't defeat Tony Santos." Drotte giggles to himself.

"YES I CAN!" roared Gary. "YES I CAN!"

"No, I can't," said Stevie, who slumped his head. The pink goop from the fly trickled off of his shoulder onto his chest.

Stevie's phone began to ring. Julie.

"You marry, have 2 children, and she damns herself with adultery," said Drotte. "Ta-ta." With that, Drotte vanishes. Gary sits in the corner and motions for Stevie to answer, pretending to zip his lips closed.

"Julie?" Stevie answered.

"Hi, Stevie! How are you?"

"I'm...I'm good," Stevie lied.

"You sound nervous. What's wrong?"

"It's just this match I've got tonight, I guess," Stevie said. He was nervous about the match, of course, but being the harbinger of the end times is nerve-racking as well. She already knew about Gary, so he wasn't quite sure why he didn't tell her about Drotte. Maybe part of him rubbed off.

"I understand that. I believe in you, Stevie. I can't wait for you to win that belt again so I can show it off at work. Maybe I could swing by and take a peek at it Saturday before a movie?"

"A movie? With me?" asks Stevie, finally starting to feel ok.

"Oh, no. I'm sorry!" she says. Stevie instantly feels like shooting himself. He sighs way louder than he means to. "I'm just kidding, you silly goose! Of course, with you! I mean, if you want to!"

"Yeah!" Stevie's voice creaked on the 'a'. It was pathetic.

"Cool! And don't forget the belt! I really wanna' see it, ok?"

"Sure! Yeah, I'll bring it!"

There it was. Gary, smiling bigger than ever. Even with all of the doubt in himself and Gary, with all the fear of Santos and Armageddon...all it took was pressure from a girl and Stevie is ready to win back his championship.

Threaded Mode \| Linear Mode I Would Do Anything For Love
Author	Message