Hello everybody my name is Roger and i had a wrestle against Kimmy the Chae last time on Anarchy and lo and behold i had a little bit of a sit down and that was enough to vanquish her soul to the Netherlandsrealm like all of my enemies when i have a bit of a sit down on them a so while she burns in hell and is forced to play the game that's name is need for speed with a joystick that always lilts a wee bit to the left i has some time on my flight back to foggy london to stop and have a wee think about whether the punishment of always lilting a little bit to the left fits her massive crimes of being a suspect in that bitch Joseph Gordon-Levitt's evil henchmen army.

I hadn't quite made up my mind when i landed so i immediately did what i always do when i am having a bit of trouble making up my mind and that was take a quick nip out to my favourite supermarket whose name is Aldi and i had a browse of its wares to fill my shopping list which had the secret to creating a pokemon max revive potion and on my shopping list it had fresh pawpaw and some meringue and a bottle of cranberry juice and two Mars bars and a kilogram of rice and some other ingredients to the secret of a max revive potion that might return my rabbit Elmer to the world of daytime and puppies and cream cheese (which was not in the ingredient list but was something i thought was great) instead of the world of bones and ghosts but as i was reaching for the canned beetroot that was also on my shopping list i had an epiphany where I thought that maybe Kimmy the Chae wasn't one of that bitch Joseph Gordon-Levitt's henchmen after all because she never once told me "haha my master kicked your rabbit into the wall" and she was also a woman when that bitch Joseph Gordon-Levitt definitely said hench MEN.

This was quite the pickle I had got myself in which was ironic because pickle brine was also on the shopping list for my max revive potion and everybody knows that you have to buy the pickles alongside the brine so that was where i went to after the canned beetroot but such would be my luck that an ugly hand reached for the last jar of pickles in every Aldi in foggy london and who did that hand belong to but none other than that bitch Joseph Gordon-Levitt.

Without saying a word my mortal enemy looked at me with eyes as red as his soul which is a more evil colour of a soul than black is because red is associated with things like blood and periods and apples other things i don't like and i don't like his soul at all or the way he was looking at me or the way he held the jar of pickles and their magic and very necessary brine out with one hand mockingly and i really really didn't like it when he then let it smash upon the ground and i tried to drive and save it but it was too late and the pickle brine splashed all over my face which made it useless in my max revive potion and left me staring up at that bitch Joseph Gordon-Levitt covered in pickle brine and both embarrassed and enraged.

I yelled at him with my crossest voice "why would you do that you cowardly slut?!" but he just laughed that wicked laugh that he is so famous for and wouldn't answer the question so i got up and challenged him to a wrestle right then and there in the middle of Aldi but he asked me if i had beaten any of his henchmen yet which i still hadn't made up my mind about but i also knew that i was next going to have a bit of a wrestle with the alphabet man and so i asked that bitch Joseph Gordon-Levitt if the alphabet man was one of his henchmen and he took a sip of grape soda and said "wouldn't you like to know?" which was dumb because of course i did that's why i asked it.

That bitch Joseph Gordon-Levitt turned to leave but i picked up a pickle from the ground and threw it at the back of his head and missed and hit Nancy the lovely checkout lady who smelled like my mum after a cold shower on a hot day in foggy london but Nancy knew that i was trying to hit that bitch Joseph Gordon-Levitt so shestared at him with hatred in her heart as he left without buying anything and when i asked her if she had any more pickles in the back she said they didn't and there was none left in all of foggy london because of the great pickle shortage of 2023 and she would know because that smell she smelt like also smelt like pickles which my mum would tell me was to help her hair grow back because she went bald at fourteen years old after that accident with the Russians.

I gave Nancy a gentle kiss on the wrist as is customary to say thank you and left Aldi without buying any of the ingredients because without pickles it would be useless to make a max revive potion to bring Elmer back to life and so i knew that i would have to continue playing that bitch Joseph Gordon-Levitt's game for now and defeat his henchmen and that is why i must kill the alphabet man on Anarchy.

Thank you for listening to my tale.