Hook.

Line.

Sinker.

And just like that all the bait was gobbled up. Now it’s time to reel this baby in! And damn it, I know that bigmouth bass is coming to shore and getting fileted, because I’m The Nickleman- and these days, The Nickleman gets whatever he wants! JUST ASK ANYONE! I’m the best fisherman in the XWF because when I cast out my lures I can catch every piece of shit champion in my crappie rig! It’s no wonder I keep catching title shots, I’m the only angler in this whole federation that knows what the fuck he’s doing!

But Mark Flynn? He definitely doesn’t know what the fuck he’s doing. I cast my lure out there and Flynn came swimming up around my waist, just looking for a shiny worm to nibble on- but hey, I can’t blame him. All the slutty bitches have been doing that ever since I got my Prince William! But just like those dirty ring rats, I was never going to let him have it. Flynn bit down on the bait, hard- and now I’ve got him on the hook! There was never going to be a title shot for Flynn on Savage, one way or the other, but that stupid son of a bitch never even bothered to read my fine print. He was going to get that magical once-in-HIS-lifetime shot if he put ½ of the tag belts on the line in singles competition…you know, something he literally can’t do!

Mark Flynn can’t move mountains, Mark Flynn can’t push boulders, Mark Flynn can’t beat Raion Kido, and Mark Flynn sure as shit can’t get Theo Pryce to change the rules of the XWF for him! Flynn should’ve consulted that fucking lawyer of his, but I guess paying Chris Page to bribe the refs at the Cannabis Cup must’ve drained him dry! What a shame- oh, I meant what a fucking sham! No one gave a damn about that tournament, because no one but Mark Flynn and gayboy Smith wanted to hold onto Chris Page’s sweaty nut cup!

But either way an X-treme Rules match against The Nickleman isn’t how you start a #1 contender’s run…it’s how you end it! And trust me, I figured out a plan to end it! If Flynn thinks it’s smooth sailing to Relentless from here on out then he’s out of his fucking mind. I’m throwing Flynn a curveball he doesn’t know how to handle, and when he swings on it, I’m going to strike him out of the main event scene- for good!

Flynn’s not getting a uni shot at Savage and I’m not getting ½ of the tag belts after I whoop his ass- that’s just a fucking given. Ask anyone in management, that’s not how these kinds of things work. Flynn’s not getting a uni shot at Relentless and Criminal ain’t either, but we’ll put a pin in that sticky subject for now. Still, since Flynn has had his heart so dead-set on a bombshell deal ever since our first tag match, I figured it’s only right I offer him a new deal he can’t refuse: literally.

Because when our theme music hits next Saturday night, and we meet for the first time in that squared circle one-on-one, Mark Flynn and Charlie Nickles are going to be fighting each other for something far more precious than Flynn ever signed up for….they’re going to be fighting for their careers!

Shock, gasp, awe, let it all wash over you right now. But then ask yourself…what the fuck have I got to lose? When the fuck do I ever NOT put my career on the line?

I’ve soared to the top of the card and I don’t ever want to come back down. My face needs to be on the poster, I’ve developed a sick fetish for it after all these constant headlines. I’ve not only tasted the peaks of greatness, I’ve caressed them in my loving arms- and I don’t ever want to let them go! If Charlie Nickles can’t be THE MAN, then why the fuck does Charlie Nickles need to be? I know Mark Flynn can’t relate, that pussy is all too happy to skate by in the middle of the pack, he’s been doing it for ten fucking years. He’s never been where I’ve been, he’s never basked in the glory of the wrestling Gods like I have, he’s never been so close to pure perfection, only to have it ripped away at the last second by the cruel winds of fate.

Mark Flynn might be thinking this has gone too far, Mark Flynn might be thinking I’m asking too much…but Mark Flynn doesn’t have a fucking choice. If he doesn't end my career on Saturday night, I swear I’ll end his! It’s an X-treme rules match, and that means there’s nothing that I can’t do to him! I get to unleash my sick imagination all over the canvass of Mark Flynn’s flesh. I get to paint it bloody red, I get to drag it from post to post, I get to stick barbed wire through it and run it so far up his arm that it shreds the entire fucking vein! And it’s all perfectly legal- if not encouraged!

But shit, that’s just the way I like to catch my fish…and say what you will about my ability to reel in the biggest fish of them all- but we all know I had that son of a bitch on the hook, on the ropes- and if you ask War Crim’- I had that fucker in a casket before he was brought to shore! Crim’ said it best himself: Raion Kido earned no victory against Alias at the Cup. Like a vulture, he waited- not to strike, but for vulnerability. Raion Kido defeated no champion…he merely consumed a carcass.

Are these just sour grapes?

No…..they’re the wise words of a man who went SIX YEARS without ever losing a singles match…until I pulled his card. Until I came to town and called him out by name. The LAST TIME that man entered the ring undefeated was the FIRST TIME he finally came out to see me one on one. So in the end, these are the wise words of a man who’s already tasted my fury…of a man who knows EXACTLY the kind of damage I can do in an X-treme rules match!

So when Crim’ says that Alias was long-dead before Kido ever covered him…we all know who the murderer was, right? This isn’t a game of CLUE- there was no Comrade Flynn in the ballroom with a candlestick- there was only ever The Nickleman, constantly on Alias’s back! Just as Caedus was before, so too shall Alias be now….just another VICTIM of The Nickleman, just another universal champion buried beneath the constant barrage of mud I fling! So what I didn’t bring the great white shark to shore- I buried my devil hooks in him, didn’t I? And that’s what killed him, because shit, even NKWC said so!

Mark Flynn bragged about ‘taking Alias to his limits’ for months and months, but he was too pusy to ever push past those limits, to ever drag Alias into the mud and go to war with him, for months on end! Mark Flynn was a one-pump chump who got split open and decided to never try his luck again. And that’s the difference between me and him- because every time I lost to Alias, I got right back up and split his head right fucking open on the next Warfare! Flynn waved the white flag and started kissing the ring as soon as he lost the first skirmish- but I fought battle after battle, always pushing forward no matter the odds. If I tucked my tail and played the part of the pussy like Mark Flynn, the XWF would have missed out on two of the greatest universal championship matches ever.

And let’s face it, North Korean War Criminal is going to be the superstar of the month because no one gives a fuck about the sippy cup Mark Flynn’s daddy gave him. Criminal lost to me, one-on-one, and he’s still going to get the nod over fuckboy Flynn, because everyone knows Flynn’s crowning achievement could only happen outside of the XWF. Because around these parts there’s only one King, and he’s a bastard! And I’m not talking about no grandhighshitfuckery either…catch my drift? If a tournament ain’t got The Nickleman in it, then your victory there don’t mean shit! Got a problem with what I said? Fucking step to me and find out, because just running your mouth is all too easy. Is this too subliminal for him to understand? It might be, because everyone knows he’s been having problems with that whole ‘ ’ thing. But if he hears this and wants to fuck around, then he’s welcome to find out anytime!

Mark Flynn picked Crim’ out of a deportation camp because he needed a mindless pawn to follow his orders and do his dirty work. Flynn wanted to be the brains and let someone else be the goddamned body, because Flynn’s body has never once gotten it done where it matters…inside an XWF ring. It’s too bad for Flynn that his body just isn’t enough on it’s own, because now somebody else’s body of work is getting all the credit, getting all the acclaim, while Mark Flynn just sits there getting bodied! When Savage comes, those esteemed brains of his will be all across the fucking ring!

Shiiiit I don’t know who ever said War Criminal plays YuGiOh cards, cause that shit’s an outright lie…Crim’ just plays reverse uno cards on Flynn, over and over again. Crim’ turned Flynn into his BITCH-IN-PERPETUITY, and that brainiac pretends to be none the wiser, all because he doesn’t want to rock the boat. What a fucking pussy. Someone won that tag belt for Mark Flynn, someone keeps that tag belt around his waist, and that very same someone is using Mark Flynn as a fucking stepping stone on his way to the top!

Shiiiiiiittt….The most X-treme thing about Flynn is his extreme dependency on other people to drag him across the finish line. But his tag-team partner won’t be on Savage to make the pin for him, and Chris Page won’t be in the back bribing the referees. If Mark Flynn wants to save his sorry hide, he’s going to have to take down The Nickleman all on his own- something he has never done before. But hell, what has Mark Flynn ever done on his own? Without his management behind the scenes or his partner at his side? He beat Peter Vaugh?....great, so he’s just as good as Hanari Carnes and NKWC were at War Games- two names I’ve crushed before. I don’t know why Mark Flynn thinks he’ll fare any better against me than they did!

I’m changing the stipulation on Savage, and there’s not a damn thing Mark Flynn can do about it. He’s stepping into that ring across from a stronger, more powerful man- and he will have no choice but to bend to my will. I’m making Mark Flynn go hard, for the first time in his career. He’s going Career vs Career against Charlie fucking Nickles, and after I strip his sorry hide, I’m mounting his head to my wall like he’s a Big Mouth Billy Bass!

It’s X-treme rules, and that means Mark Flynn is X-TREMELY FUCKED! I know, it’s not fair, but what the fuck did Mark Flynn think he was signing up for? When the fuck has a match against The Nickleman ever been a walk in the park? Next Saturday night The Nickleman is going fishing- and I know exactly who I'll be setting my DEVIL HOOKS into!

I got 99 Problems but catching Flynn ain't gon' be 1!