"We have to be tactical".

One finger over her mouth, she ducked down by the glovebox.

"We can't let it know we're here."

Cars came in and out of the busy lot, as well as passerby's on foot. Some even peeked into the window. Rude.

The AC ran in the car, it was brutally hot outside. Too hot, to be frank. The fan blew her hair, pushing it into her eyes with a rush of icey cold.

"That's a big bastard."

Jenny looked over at Ash, her eyes like sauce pans.

"What? I just said that is a big bastard."

---

Her "father" used to call everything a big bastard. A big truck "thats a big bastard." A big fish reeled in, "that's a big bastard, isn't it." A boil on his ass "damn, that's a big bastard." She heard this more times as a child than she could count. She remembered one time they gathered around the table at Thanksgiving (one of the only ones he was sober for), and when the turkey came out (because heaven forbid he actually HELPED prepare it) the moment it was set down, "that's a big bastard, ain't it?" He licked his lips and rubs his hands together, picking up his fork.

Or the time when they took a 'vacation' to the strip in Las Vegas. A 15 mile fucking vacation because his cheap ass didn't trust his credit card numbers at hotels so they would pool hop all of the Vegas hotels, checking in, then going home at night and cancelling his card. It was a cycle she became familiar with, depressing as it was. One day they went to the Luxor, one of the most prestigious hotels in the country much less the city. He said it twice that day. The first time was when they got to the front of the massive pyramid because he refused to have his car valeted (he always thought someone was out to get him), and they walked the two miles from his hackjob parking spot to the hotel. Looking up to the top, he muttered "that's a big bastard." She almost said it along with him in unison, her lips moving with his. The second time was when the Luxor staff caught onto his scam and sent their giant security guard to accost them at the pool. Her 'father' put the issue of Forbes he was reading (it was to fit in but oh the irony!) down from his face and stared up with squnity, sun-affected eyes at the mammoth black man who had his arms crossed in front of his lounge chair.

"Big bastard, ain't ya?"

A hospital visit, impound lot tour and several court appearances followed, but that was the last day of the Vegas vacation scam.

She remembered as a little girl there was a spider in her room. She yelled to her 'father' to come kill it for her. When he finally made his way into the room, he got a glimpse of the eight legged beast that was terrorizing his 'daughter'. "Big bastard..." he said as he lifted the spray can.

And this one time---"

---

"JEN!"

Ash's voice broke her flashback.

"Sorry, I was remembering something."

"Was it why the fuck we're here?"

Jenny shushed her again. There was someone approaching the vehicle. She reached down under the seat, fumbling for something. Trying to keep an eye on the approaching human, she reached, pressing her face against the cloth material until she was sure a pattern would show up on her face, and then relaxed her arm back. She had a knife.

"HAH!", popping it open.

"Jenn, what the fuck! What are you going to do with that thing?!"

"Skin suits?"

Ash grabbed Jenny's wrist, twisting it. She was able to pry the knife from her. "For fucks sake, Jen. We are in a public place, of course there are going to be people around! Not everyone is out to get you."

Jenny sits up in the seat, watching the person walk past.

"It's not for them......" she said, still in a hushed tone for whatever reason. "Its for the big bastard."

"Jenny I was just commenting on...."

She opened the door and got out of the car. She was making a beeline for the building. Ash sighed, cut the engine, and followed. She was able to catch up to Jenny just before they reached the automatic doors.

Jenny paused as they opened for her. She looked at them with a cocked head, remembering the Hibachi Restaurant in New York.

She turned to Ash. "Ash, babes, I think I might be Jesus."

"I think you might be insane."

They walked into the dealership and instantly they were on them like flies on shit. Two pretty girls in a testosterone filled show room, it was like mating season on the savannah.

The two girls barely made it two steps when a sales associate was on them, asking what he could help them with today.

If only he knew....

She looked at Ash with a big grin.

"Yeah, Jen, why are we here. What DO we want to look at today?"

"Honestly, we're just browsing" she said. "No real intention, just seeing what you have."

"You came all the way in here to say that? We could have browsed in the car...."

Jenny was on the move again, heading back towards the double doors. It was like chasing a toddler around, Ash thought to herself. Honestly, she'd missed it.

The sales associate was also in hot pursuit, staying on them like stink from a skunk. Always lingering.

Ash caught up to Jen and grabbed her by the arm. "What the hell are you doing?!" she whispered.

"We have to be tactical! It has no idea we're onto it! Just be cool!"

"Be cool! Jenny you got us involved with a car salesman, their the worst kind of slime on the planet. He isn't going to leave us alone now, and you're not even buying anything! Why did we leave the car?!"

Jenny seemed unphased. "Just stay cool."

The associate followed closely behind the two ladies for the entirety, commenting on every car they pretended to look at.

"This one comes already equipped with both Apple Car Play and Android Auto, GPS, and a rear and front facing camera."

"This is one of the safest cars on the road. 5 star safety rating."

"This one is perfect for shopping, massive trunk space."

The two continued to browse, working their way towards whatever shenanigans Jenny had planned this time. It was nice to have her friend back finally. A REAL friend, not the crutches that fuckwads like Bobby Bourbon called friends.

"What is THAT" she said?



"Oh, that's Robbie. He is our marketing clown. He's funny, everyone loves him."

"He's hideous."

"That's the big bastard!"

"He is quite large. Yes. But he is not for sale, even though he says SALE",the associate chuckles. "Let me show you the new BMW---"

"I am facing Bobby this week. As you know." They kept the hushed tones as to not alert the sales person, as if he gave a fuck about anything but selling a car and/or getting their numbers.

"And?"

"It's gonna be a hell of a show."

"It's Savage. This is a monster card, and you're the headliner baby girl. You're the whole damn show."

"Bobby Bourbon, the new star of "Two And A Half Chins" versus Jenny Myst, the most fun television champion XWF has ever had!"

Jenny stopped dead in her tracks. In front of her was "The Big Bastard."

Jenny moved with the quickness of a cat, whipping out a second car knife that she had kept hidden from Ash out from her bra. She charged, attacking the big bastard and puncturing it with several quick strikes. The sales associate's eyes went wide, and he ran back towards the dealership.

"I'm calling the police!"

When Jenny was done, and she stood over the big bastard panting, a sheen of sweat covering her face, she smiled a satisfied grin.

"Jen what the hell is wrong with you! We need to get out of here, ASAP, they are going to call the police!"

Jenny didn't seem to care. She was too caught up in the moment. She hated the big bastard with every ounce of her being. She hated everything he stood for. His big dumb face, his useless movements. A waste of oxygen, pure and simple. She stood over the big bastard, feeling triumphant in her moment of glory, a smile almost glued to her face.

Sirens rang out in the distance.

She had remembered that she left Goldi unattended in the car. She gasped, her eyes wide.

"KEYS!"