XWF Universal Champion. Raion Kido had finally done it.

The bitter pill that was the first defeat against Charlie Nickles, the setback at March Madness, it all felt like a distant memory of which he could finally let go, for this victory had outdone it all.

“... And what happens now?”

These were the thoughts of the Lion as he looked at the Bear Pit of the city of Bern. This circular enclosure surrounded by a high fence has long been a symbol of the city, and bears would be kept there for display, though today, it is another part of the more modern and animal-friendly BärenPark. The bears may occasionally go there for the crowd to get a look, as happens at this moment.

“... Now begins War Games, and as new Champion, I must be the one that represents the Meat Clowns as best as possi-”

“OH NO!”

“MY DOLLYYYYYYYYYYY!”

The scream of a woman and the crying of a child startle the young Osaka wrestler, and turning in their direction, he rushes to their aid.

“Something wrong, ma’am?”

“My daughter’s doll fell into the bear pit!”

“WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!! *Sniffles!*”

Taking a look over the high fence at the pit below, Raion notices the doll - a baby girl in a polka-dot dress and a matching cap - lying on the stone floor, dangerously close to a particularly large brown bear.

“I hope there’s a bear keeper nearby that can retrieve it for us!”

The heart-wrenching cry of the blonde pig-tailed child, and the despair written upon her mother’s face are enough for the young Saint of Athena to decide. After all, was helping the innocent not a Saint’s duty?

“... Well - here goes nothing.”

“I’ll see what I can do!”

Not without giving a leery look at the bear - and the rest of his pack - resting in the grass and the nearby trees inside the Bear Pit, Raion sets the box of his Gold Cloth down, and proceeds to equip it.


“Wait - what are you doing!?”

“For protection, ma’am! Here I go! HYAAAAAAAAAAH…!!!”

*CRASH!*

The earth-shattering sound follows the landing of the Lion inside the bear pit after a daredevil leap. The onlookers above are decidedly aghast at the sight of the golden warrior confronting the bears.

“The absolute madman!”

“This guy is insane! He’s going to become bear food!”

Not without a certain hesitation, Raion makes his way, slowly, and steadily, to the lost doll in the ground. The bears don’t seem to have noticed his landing for the moment, instead resting peacefully in the sunlight.

“Shouldn’t be much longer now… just withiiiiin reach…”

… but just as the Lion extends his arm to grab the poor child’s lost friend, he sees the brown, furry paw of the large bear right in front of him!

“WHOA!”

“OH MY GOD!”

The bear, however, hasn’t roared, nor looks at the young Lion menacingly. Rather, it seems to be studying him, as if asking whether he’s friend or foe. The young Lion is paralyzed for a brief second, staring right at the face of danger, but on these occasions, there is but one thing for a Saint of Athena to do.

“Burn, cosmos! RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGGGGH!...”

Feet planted on the ground, the Lion stands tall, slowly drawing the doll towards himself. But at that point, the bear starts charging!

*THUMP!*

The Lion hits the ground, the massive bear above him… but instead of the claws or the teeth that could be his death, what he feels next is the Lion’s muzzle rubbing gently across his face!

“WAIT! The bear is not attacking him, it’s nuzzling him!”

“Aaaaaaaaaaaawwwwwww…”

Lots of similar tender bawling from the onlookers, as well as a great deal of laughter, is what the Lion can hear after the bear finally gets off him, sitting at his side peacefully. Knowing that he has just had a staredown with a beast that could have killed him, he gives the bear a gentle ruffle of the fur on its head. The bear, surprisingly, allows itself to be pet!

“Well, friend, thank you for understanding, and I’ll stop bothering now. I have to reunite the little lady with her lost friend!”

And so, to the crowd’s applause, the young wrestler makes his way back to the gallery encircling the bear pit. The little girl comes running, along with her mother, and he kneels down so that they see eye to eye, before he gives her back her doll.

“Ohh, Dolly, you’re finally back! Thank you, mister, thank you so much!”

“That was an incredibly brave thing you did! My daughter and I will never forget!”

“No problem, ma’am. This too is the charge of a Saint of Athena!”

And with that, the Lion takes a deep breath, and begins to walk away, as the crowd continues to applaud and shower him with pats on his back. He might have just stared down death in the face itself, but that, in the end, was that for which he had been made.

There were, after all, many reasons he was called the Lion.

And one of them was… that he would know no fear.


“I suppose it’s safe to say, ladies and gentlemen, that the landscape of the XWF has undergone a great change.

I say, however, that my purpose still remains. Because now, after the Cannabis Cup, I have a duty to this company and to the people I have faced, one in which I shall not fail. That means that now, there is but one mission for me: to carry the XWF banner to the very heights of the universe.

At War Games, therefore, it is my purpose to be the hand that grants victory to the Meat Clowns.”

Lips peeled back, the Lion drives a fist forward into the camera. It was now the time to make the cosmos burn.


“So, since it doesn’t seem the Notorious Alliance are too worried about us to bring a proper fight, let us move on to the other teams. Let’s start with Viewer Desecration Advised. We have the Latina Submission Machina, yet another former Anarchy Champion. Alas, La Reina got the best of her, and only now is she making her return.

Don’t get me wrong, señorita - I respect lucha libre, but I too have had my adversities, and throughout it all, I stuck through! And the prize of gritting one’s teeth, and pushing on no matter what, yielded the ultimate outcome - much better, indeed, than the loss I had at March Madness.

The biggest victory in my career at Leap of Faith became the achievement of a lifetime at the Cannabis Cup, and even now I’m coming to War Games to give the Meat Clowns the victory they deserve - the redemption of Elijah Martin, the ascension of Angie Vaughn, and the ultimate triumph of the Universal and Television Champions, together!”

Raion raises an eyebrow as that roguish grin of his creeps up on his lips.

“In the face of that, Machina, what is the Alamo but a last stand? You may overcome Sudden Death unless Chris Page saves the day, but who shall stand with you? The last time Tommy Wish was of any relevance, it was because of his foot fetish, and he failed to win that match. All he’s doing now is self-pitying on air. The Unknown Soldier is as forgotten as the martyr which inspired his name, and his Alexander the Great fantasies are but a front to cover for his present inadequacy. Besides, he’s not the only one here with the power of Greek myth.

Then comes Mercy with her mouthpiece. This woman appears once every few years, wins something of no consequence, then disappears for Athena knows how long until she somehow remembers she works in the XWF. Last time, I did not even exist, and all she did was beat another irrelevance by name of McBride. And I’m supposed to believe this ultimate mashup of the lost, the forgotten and the damned, poses any threat to anyone!?

I must make this clear, señorita. Far be it from me to question you, but you’re standing alone, and you’re out of your depth. If a current Champion, a former one, and one of the XWF stars of the future isn’t enough, you now face one of the XWF’s best, and my record speaks for itself. I lost to Bobby Bourbon, and then I stepped over him to win the briefcase at Leap of Faith… which I didn’t need to use to win this company’s greatest prize. All in a fraction of the time it took your entire team combined to win anything of import.

Your best, your only hope, is to pray to Dios, Satan, or whatever Mercy believes in, for some catastrophe to befall all other teams. And even then, it won’t be enough. You shall come right before the Meat Clowns, and I shall personally eliminate whoever of you survives.

And when I do, Miss Machina, I’ll make sure you thank me - for I shall perform a mercy that only you deserve.”

Gone is now that smile, giving way to the hardened expression of the soldier that goes to war.

“We come now to Sudden Death. Again we meet, Bourbon, and how the tides have turned! Where are your Brother Bastards? Even now you come to War Games after my own Captain dealt you a loss. What do you have now, Mr. Absent King, that could give me pause? Now you cannot even say you were my biggest win, for I’ve exceeded the expectations of everyone.

So much, in fact, that Chris Page himself is returning just to come across the name of Raion Kido, and what is your team doing? Money Oswald, your own captain, can barely be bothered to let out some expletives and spout some light vs. dark nonsense. The man that should be carrying this team has all but dumped the load on your shoulders. And it strikes me as ironic to receive advice about damage to my heritage from a guy whose name is Dick Powers, and whose entire persona revolves around sex jokes, but I appreciate the compliment.

Alas, it doesn’t sound like Mr. Powers has seen much of me, but I guess that’s more than we have seen from him since he lost in a SuperContinental Title Scramble where, out of all participants… only Ned Kaye remains, and this was when he was the Chameleon.

You know you’re outclassed, Bourbon. You call yourself the one-man army, but I’m the fortress that you now know you cannot breach. You may have eliminated several names last year - but now, before you, stands the one man that eclipsed your March Madness victory. He hasn’t forgotten, and shall make sure, that, should you come to the finals, you shall not either.

Thank Athena Chris Page comes to save the day, but here’s the thing, Bourbon - he’s not here for you. He’s here for me.”

The Lion follows this with a roar - as if to answer a challenge that was put out in front of him.

“So, Chris Page, it was I that awoke your interest? So be it! From here on out it’s going to be my sole purpose that you and I cross paths at the final match of War Games. You boast of signing up just after surviving a beating at your own event, but I was also there, and I went through a glass window into the streets of New York. And right after that, I come to War Games to show that none of this, not my debut, not Leap of Faith, nor the Cannabis Cup, were anything but the realization of the very thing I’ve come to show all along - that everything is possible when we tap into our cosmos, and we make it burn.

I’m aware that I face a veteran, but that has not made me flinch before, and it shall not now! My reign as XWF Universal Champion has only just begun and it’s not about to end just yet. I’m here to be the trump card for the Meat Clowns, and that is how I’m coming at you. You wish to see me at the finals, and I am more than happy to oblige - and more. In this single-night appearance, I mean to be the one that sends you back to your management ventures, with that sense of regret you get after you’ve stayed too long in a party, and the morning hangover comes calling.

But at the end of the day, it won’t be too bad. For you know it will have been worth it, and that you got exactly what you desired.”

One more time the Lion grins, though the look in his eyes clearly spells danger.

“Who’s next? War Games World Record Speedrun. Led by Calypso, former T.V. Champion, who, just like the Ringmaster over there in our first round team, comes from losing to two champions. Not only that - before that, he lost to the new attraction at the time, to whom I put a stop at Fire and Ice to earn the name with which I’ve achieved the ultimate accomplishment of all!

So tell me, Calypso, how does it feel to face someone who did something you never could do, in less time that you’ve been here? Now you face a team that has done everything you’ve done and more, and there’s no preparation any of you can have for what awaits you at the hands of the Meat Clowns.

Your team may be seeing things as videogames, but I too know them, and I say that the level of difficulty at which you are playing now exceeds any name you could possibly give it. The Game Girl may be making her return, but this Saint of Athena is an unwinnable fight. The Bastards got away for a while until they finally could not anymore!

Even the North Korean War Criminal, who once called me the Cho-KING, has now been rendered silent, and no matter how hard you all attempt to sell yourselves as the underdogs, it’s just an excuse to admit that the odds are too high. It’s one thing to repeat the same underestimation argument Hanari Carnes is spouting off, but a very different thing to come into the fight of your life with the intention to pull not just an upset, but a miracle, and I have now done so twice.

Once you manage to achieve something of that magnitude, the world is once again turned upside down. I’m not the underdog anymore, Speedrunners. I shall show you all that the Meat Clowns are the best team in this event, and that the power of the cosmos at its greatest explosion cannot be overcome!”

A point towards the camera, and a defiant roar.

“So bring your save points, your respawns, and your high scores, for they shall avail you not. You’re now playing my game, and there the stakes go to their highest. When every one of you falls to the Lightning Plasma, and the “Continue?” countdown hits zero, know that your credits were spent for the Lion to show you the ultimate power.

But don’t be too harsh on yourselves. Know that you never stood a chance.”

Raion slashes the air with his hand, a swift movement that cuts the very air around him.

“And last, the Warmasters. Dolly Waters called for Thaddeus Duke, the first man to ever try to test me. Well now, Ms. Waters, here we are again. What shall you say now? Thaddeus himself wanted to leave a blemish on my career, but even for him that was a tall order. So long ago does that episode of Warfare look, eh Thaddeus?

You’ve been here for two years and claim not to be immortalized, but my victory against ALIAS, Nickles and Waters will forever be remembered. I don’t claim to be any GOAT, or “that guy” either, but I believe I too have shown a thing or two in these now seven months.

Dolly may have failed to give you that retirement loss, but now that she has called you to your side, it may be that this duty falls to me. It may also be, Ms. Dolly, that you’ll have to keep dreaming on for a bit longer, for the Lion is not yet done with his path yet. Your team Captain might be Anarchy Champion but the only thing of import he did outside his own little world was beating Hanari Carnes. And I’m no stranger to humbling people doing things in Anarchy, either.

And then there’s Peter Vaughn. Settled quite nicely in his Supercontinental Champion role after ALIAS cut his Universal Title reign short, but now he deals with someone who has been able to do the one thing he failed to do!

So tell me something, anything, any of you may have that can make me know fear. What does any of these teams have that may put a stop to the Meat Clowns? The remains of the Bastards? The rest of the XWF Champions? The people returning for a one-night special, or the ones coming in the hope that someone may remember?”

This time, the Lion fills his lungs with air, and his final words explode in a mighty roar.

“I SAY NONE! A great change has come to the XWF, and at War Games, it will be solidified, for I come to prove what has been said all along, and I’ve just finally shown - that the Lion is one of the XWF’s best, and that the Television Champion has drafted the names that shall take this company to the future. For we are the bulwark against the terror.

We are the defenders of justice.

We are the Meat Clowns Inc. LLC…

... and we shall know no fear!”

Fade to black.