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Jason Cashe · (07-07-2022)

"Is she a real Vampire?"

I couldn't be sure. People claim shit all the time. Elijah Martin claimed to be a threat.. I've not seen someone turn after being bit and I'm pretty sure anyone would die if you drove a stake through their heart. That's just science. Some people are even deathly allergic to garlic so really, who can know for sure? "I couldn't say.. I've never met one before." Still I wouldn't say they didn't exist. I'd like to also believe BigFoot is out there and the fear of being probed by Aliens is a thing. If people believe in God, why not these other highly unlikely entities?

In truth, the vampirism was only a small piece of who Vee-tuh Va-luhn-teen was and what she brought to the table for this matchup. What she has done, what she could do to conclude this tournament was far more important. I needed to keep that in mind. "Are we sure she isn't just a crazy bitch who hears voices and has watched waaaay too many movies? Time will tell.."

I had many ideas and scenarios playing out in my head. I knew I could reach out and get information from Theo Pryce. I could hit up Ned Kaye, he's beaten her before. I like being hands on. Learning someone not because I've sat and watched every match I could or heard stories from people who have their own experiences but finding out by being in there with them to feel what merits they can earn with me. My own preference and it, at times, does have holes in the process.

"The Plump Pigeon makes no sense. Yet for one reason or another, I have invested, fought and earned my place in the finals. In comparison, I won all of my matches and Vee-Tah, my opponent for the last leg of the race, won all of hers except that one against Wish. That toe licker had you in the Fetish Lock and if not for that referee's weak stomach, you might have tapped..

Do Vampires tap out?

Most people might get weirded out sharing the ring with a potential bloodsucker but me? If you are real? Bite me. Why not? I like my steak rare, I am totally a night owl anyways and who wouldn't want to live forever?

I would make an excellent Vampire.. I VANT To Suck Yoo Blood! Mwuahahaha! Can you imagine? I know you are living as best you can off animal blood, waiting for Ruby to find a better solution but please, let me make a suggestion?

I know how you can get ALL the blood, the most nutritious blood anytime you want. Human blood even.. At any time during any month, you can find a fresh supply. It's called Pussy and it's a win for everyone. Start eating pussy and you do them a favor, you do yourself a favor and you get that oral workout which is GREAT for tongue twisters!

A Big Black Bug Bit A Big Black Bear and made the Big Black Bear Bleed Blood! Try it.."

The idea played around in my head. I'd definitely be called Cool J then.. Shut up, I can dream. "Damnit Cashe, focus!" I was drifting away from my desired path.

"You want to bite, let's bite! I'm a fucking DiOGee and I've been known to have lock jaw a time or two. You have experienced some hefty ups and downs, long losing streaks and some spots that sparkle. I am ready for my time in the sparkle! I want my turn and you stand in the way of that. So if I am playing Vampire Hunter, I don't plan to just put a stake through your heart. I mean to open your chest cavity, expose that beating lifesource and BITE into it!

To enjoy the moment most, I must make this flying rat tournament into something people remember as the starting point for my rise to the top of Anarchy. I aim to be its Champion! I've beaten the Dolly Waters, the Centurions, the Elijah Martins, the Money Oswalds and HGHs.

Now I will add your name to that list.. You've won the Anarchy Title, I want to do the same.

You've been Television Champion, I plan to do the same.

Xtreme Champion? Hell, I could have become Top Contender for that! One of the only losses I have had since being in XWF came from me knocking on the door too quickly to try and become a Champion. Thunder Knuckles is the ONLY person to say they have beaten me since arriving here. Do you think you stack up to him?

The fact is Vee-tuh Va-luhn-teen..

You have had successes that I want to have for myself. You are an example of what can be done and also of what to do better. In a sense, you will have taught me valuable lessons as I continue my journey through the ranks. You have more experience here but I plan to use yours as a catapult to gain my own..

We will OPEN the show come the 7th, we will set the bar for the entire show but in that, you will find nothing but loss. You might taste my blood but I will devour you in victory! You will surely become the Ash in Ashley and I will spread those ashes ALL across Kill Devil Hills in North Carolina!"

I said what I wanted to say. What needed to be said. These matches, these moments are always a great debate. A chess match or checkers if that's more your game. I was prepared for this as best as I could be. I wanted it, I will fight for it and I plan to win. Plump Pigeon, Supreme Pigeon. Here. I. Come.

"I'm uncomfortable.."

Jason Cashe who has sat in utter darkness this whole promo, now brings light to the scene as he pushes open a casket lid and climbs out.

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