The television screen fires up to an empty wrestling ring in an empty arena.

Throughout professional wrestling certain wrestlers have stood out from the crowd. When we discuss the greatest wrestlers throughout the history of wrestling the likes of Doctor Lewis D'Ville, James Raven, and Alias. They dominate the discussion and are all XWF alumni. Though as many modern-day fans are unable to form an opinion given their respective era or product. The special ones always remain the kind of warriors, that should you have seen them in action, you're never likely to forget. This has never been more true than for a man who has spent only three years in the professional ranks. A slick, brash, boastful, verbal assassin, that brings guaranteed entertainment to the ring and to your television screens every time out. Thunder Knuckles's explosive style, combined with his speed, and commitment to his craft has made him an impeccable force within the business. I'm Liev Schreiber and I'd like to welcome you to another Bastard Net presentation where we take a look at-

Your screen fades out to a badass graphic.

FIVE TIMES THUNDER KNUCKLES SHOCKED THE XWF WRESTLING UNIVERSE. Part 2 Narrated by Liev Schreiber

The graphic fades to a clip of the lead-up to Relentless 2020.

First up, two years ago, Thunder Knuckles made a huge statement against a sturdy pure wrestler and future Universal Champion, Chronic Chris Page.


A flashback to TK's promo versus Chris Page plays.

Quote:What they fucking don't seem to see is the wide-open holes you have around your breastplate. I'm going to sink my claws into those holes and slowly pull out your fucking lungs.

The flashback fades out to clips of Chronic Chris Page beating Thaddeus Duke for the Television Championship just weeks ahead of this fight.

Coming off his impressive win over Thaddeus Duke for the Television Championship, Chronic Chris Page, was slated to be Thunder Knuckles's toughest opponent to date. Early on it looked to be ringing true. Chris Page took control of the action early on. Though grinding through the match the Lima Ohio native began to dominate as his true power shown threw ending the match with a destructive Thunder Strike. Down for much of his career at that point, Thunder Knuckles made the most of his time in the limelight by voicing his opinions of Robert Main.

A clip of Thunder Knuckles giving his opinion of what just transpired.

Quote:I said, I'd beat him and I said I'd beat Robert Main. Where the fuck is Robert Main? Can anyone find the dude?

Six months and twelve fights later came another opportunity for Thunder Knuckles to showcase his ability, along with his tag team partner Bobby Bourbon. Cue the unbeaten tag team of "Continuum", Corey Smith, and Thaddeus Duke. After dismissing a game challenge from Charlie Nickles and Jim Jimson the team of Corey and Thaddeus didn't seem to be slowing down. Them No Good Bastards decided to on taking a different approach than most and found their center. Together they created the most devastating move in Tag Team history. The-

-Rainbow Laser Death Sequence!-

-and just like that new Tag Team Champions were crowned.

Your screen shows highlights of the fateful March 2021 match at March Madness.

Next, four days short of six months, Them No Good Bastards, faced off against a game, tough challenge, from Betsy Granger & Lycana. No one had the Bastards walking out of the Main Event of Relentless 2021 the winners. However, they persevered sending shockwaves throughout the wrestling world with another-

-Rainbow Laser Death Sequence!-

Pinning Betsy Granger as Lycana roasts on the electrified steel cage. Nearly dead, Thunder Knuckles showed his heart by making the pin.

The clip of Them No Good Bastards winning at Relentless 2021 plays on your screen.

Nine months later, Thunder Knuckles stepped back into the ring in the biggest test of this career. Against a man that Thunder Knuckles had been waiting over a year to get in the ring with.

Multiple clips of Thunder Knuckles calling out Robert Main are shown on your screen.











In comes the strong, bullish, and fundamentally sound Robert "The Omega" Main. This is the first time since becoming a tag team with Bobby Bourbon that Thunder Knuckles was on his own in singles competition. While most were saying Bobby Bourbon had carried Thunder Knuckles to the Tag Team Championship, Thunder Knuckles knew he had another opportunity to make a monumental statement in a steel cage grudge match. It was a grueling clash of styles match-up that guaranteed drama from the offset. The two wrestlers indeed brought their A-games and dropped some of the best promotional material of the year.

Clips of the Main Event of Warfare on December 29th, 2021 begin to dance on your screen.

In a true all-action fight of the year display, both men had spells of success and adversity. Though Thunder Knuckles arguably scored the more clean, damaging shots. He landed the only shot of the night that mattered, the Thunder Strike.

Clips of the post-match celebration are shown from The Nationwide Center in Thunder Knuckles's home state Ohio. The celebration fades out to the determined face of Thunder Knuckles's next big match, against one Notorious Ned Kaye.

Finally, four months later Thunder Knuckles continued his ongoing trend by eyeing up another dangerous opponent "The Notorious" Ned Kaye, for XWFs Xtreme Championship. Stepping into the ring again after beating his fellow spiritual Bastard in Arms, in none other than Jason Cashe. Thunder Knuckles set the tone early on as he was the slight favorite coming in. He started the faster of the two men, hitting moves in the early going. However, with Ned Kaye pushing back in the middle of the fight it showed Thunder Knuckles had learned patience and wasn't afraid to mix it up with the hard-hitting Ned Kaye. Never backing down Thunder Knuckles again persevered with another ground-shaking Thunder Strike, this time with a hand full of tights for good measure, pinning the then Xtreme Champion, and crowning a new.

Clips of the April 20th, 2022 Xtreme rules match a shown on your television screen.

These were just five nights that lead Thunder Knuckles to a division's ultimate prize. These five victories stood out as five of the most exceptional proformances of Thunder Knuckles' career. Don't miss out and order today because on July 22nd through July 24th, Thunder Knuckles once again plays Russian roulette in his bid for wrestling greatness with another risky step up in competition by entering the Cannabis Cup.

A clip of Thunder Knuckles gently fades onto your screen to close the show.

Not everyone in wrestling wants to see you succeed, more times than not, they want you to fail. I'm living the dream and not one mother fucker on this planet can take that from me. If anyone in the Cannabis Cup thinks they have a chance, then, by all means, step on up. I'll be glad to knock the shine right out of their goddamn eyes. You think because you've seen 'Ol Thunder Knuckles on your television screen that you have formulated a plan. Well, things are different when we're in that damn ring. No amount of tape can prepare you for the beating that you'll receive from my hands.

The scene fades right into the preach portion of Thunder Knuckles' promotional material.

**PREACH**

The camera crew catches back up with Thunder Knuckles post-production at Bastard Net headquarters.

I was wondering when you guy would be coming to bother me. The real question is, do you guys expect me to take Cholo seriously? Are you fucking kidding me? This guy hasn't been active since July 2021! The dude’s a fucking gardener! Then, Now, For-God-Damn ever! If you ever want tips on how to prune bushes, or how to pick oranges and sell them by the side of the goddamn road. That’s your fucking dude. If You want to see violence? Then I’m your goddamn guy, Not Cholo. I'm not coming to the Cannabis Cup to rassle, I'm coming to end the competition.

TK brushes the dirt off his shoulder.

I’m supposed to sit here and tell you why the Cannabis Cup is important. Well…

TK pauses for a second.

Let’s just see what the Cannabis Cup has to offer. One, is beating the shit out of former FIGHTNY bitches. Two, beating the brakes off CCPE wannabe stars. Three, Matt Knox…

TK smirks remembering that Knox dropped out of the Cannabis Cup.

Wait… Never mind, that lame-ass pulled out when he drew yours truly, ‘Ol Thunder Knuckles, in the first round. Can’t say I fucking blame him. He’d have gotten slaughtered in record time just like my tag team partner punked his ass out on Thanksgiving. I’d have done the same in for Christmas in July but I’d have been less-

TK makes air quotes with his hands.

-“nice” about it. What number was I on? Fuck it, who cares? You have the chance to see something the world has been waiting for, the biggest event in ALL OF PRO-RASSLING, Bastard vs. Bastard. There’s no doubt in my mind that Bobby Bourbon will make it past each and every person put in front of him. Don’t get me wrong, that’s my fucking guy, my best friend, my goddamn confidant but you’ll be hard-pressed to find two people who like to hurt people as we do. That’s exactly why Cholo doesn’t stand a goddamn chance. Cholo will come out and tell you how happy he is to have the opportunity to fight at the Velvet Rabbit, a fucking cesspool of never-was talent taking their clothes off to make a fucking buck. Trust me I hire whores for the Bastards Den every few months. I see the same pathetic look from those strippers' eyes that I see in the “talented” rasslers that have to work at the Rabbit. No wonder old fucks like Cent and Page show up there to grease the palms of these young whores, trying to feel like they’re in their twenties again, it’s sad really.

TK spits on the ground in front of him

Cholo will be super excited and pumped to slob on Page’s knob just to get shit-canned in the first round like the goddamn peasant he is. Go on, Cholo, tell Page how you’ll mow the lawn and take out the trash. Make sure to reach around and fondle Page’s balls by asking to join CCPE too, he really likes that shit. See, there's no goddamn love loss between me and Chronic Chris Page. I saw he even brought in the big, scary, that calls himself a Bastard without ever having to prove it. That guy is a damn lame that hits the same “I’m a badass” notes in everything he does. The thing with those guys is they never learn why they’re not the best even after they fucking lose. They don't have the drive to become the best, whereas I do! I’m not going to claim to be the best. I put my best foot forward every time I step in the damn ring. Turns out, I’m good at kicking the shit out of people. All you cucks around the “Twitter-verse” are about to find out meeting ‘Ol Thunder Knuckles in the ring is a lot like being in a car, drunk, without your seatbelt on, and about to hit a tree-killing everyone you brought with you.

Jimmy is trying his best to make sure TK wins by getting him on track.

You’re getting off track, Thunder Knuckles. Keep talking about Cholo.

Fine… What else is there to say? Cholo fought in a couple of companies, didn't really do shit, and his claim to fame is he’s Lux’s cousin, nephew, brother, who gives a fuck? Lux couldn’t hold my goddamn jock let alone the bi-product of misappropriated, cum that is Cholo. His mom should have hit the abort button while they had the chance, now, I have to Roe V Wade his ass before it’s considered murder. His dad could have pulled out and saved me the fucking trouble, but here we are. I don’t plan on taking it easy on the cock-mite either. I’m going to make him suffer for the bullshit QuagCup loss I took as the number one seed. Cholo, doesn’t, and will never have the talent I have shredding my opponents. Cholo and half the fucking field went to the same school of generic trash talk. The one guy I want to see in this tournament is that mush-mouthed Paul Montuori cunt. From what I hear he thinks he’s some kind of trash-talking God. I bet you a dollar and a fucking quarter he can’t spit heat like the Bastards can. God knows that he’s too busy trying to figure out when he’s going to get his next payday after FIGHTNY closed.

Jimmy continues to try to get TK back on track.

Cholo, Thunder Knuckles, Cholo.

Goddamn it, Jimmy! I told you he’s a non-issue! He’s coming to pick up a check, he’s not coming to compete. He’s going to eat a Thunder Strike, get paid, and be sent the Hell home. It's as easy as that. Then we got this piece of trash, Dickie Watson.

TK rolls his eyes.

What a fucking but that's status quo, isn't it? There's nothing new about it. That shithole sniffer can run to Warstien after this is all over and say, “Them No Good Bastards are mean.”, the only thing that sex offender will do is shrug because he knows the truth. He knows straight up we're Bastards. I can't wait to gut you like a stuffed pig and dance on your useless entails. Dickie is just another FIGHTNY body laying on the ground twitching.

The smirk on TK's face says it all, as he winks into the camera.

Don’t be surprised if they have to call 911 to try and save the lives of the field. The only problem with that is the people answering the damn phone know who Them No Good Bastards are. They’ll just roll their eyes because there's no saving your asses.

Cho-

TK slaps Jimmy, who has become too accustomed to cutting him off.

NO! If he took himself seriously he’d have been competing for the last year but he hasn’t. His best option is to drink Bleach the night before the match to off himself before stepping in the ring with me. At least that’ll be a less violent death.

TK gives the camera the middle finger for good measure.

Cannabis Cup, you’re looking at the winner of the whole damn thing. You’re looking at the man who going to take Chris Page’s trophy, dump all that free weed in a bag, and throw that crap-ass trophy in the damn trash in front of him. All with a smile on my fucking face. Do you think the hapless shitlord will be surprised? Highly goddamn doubtful. He knows Cholo and the rest are stepping into the ring with an absolute monster. A monster that has learned how to control himself, to poise himself before committing to attack. I have a fire in my heart that will consume whoever advances and hungry that won't be fulfilled until all of you have been put to sleep.

TK takes a second to think but continues to sound off.

I know what you’re all thinking. This guy really thinks highly of himself. Fuck, yeah, I do! I might not be the best but I’m way better than ninety-nine percent of you bitch-ass "competitors". I’m not sweating a damn one of you, especially not Corey Smith. That dude was too tired to keep competing in XWF and just left, holding on to his Championship before a big bad wolf came and took it from him. Get the fuck out of here. Then there's Mark Flynn.

Giving his truly iconic, totally only duplicated by posers and wannabes. jerking-off hand gesture, TK winks on the metaphoric pop.

Hey, Fuck-o, what’s up? Are you going to need your tag partner for another singles match? I bet you do. God knows you haven't been able to do shit without him. Then again I bet you feel pretty confident knowing Papa Page is here to keep you afloat in the tournament. I know he’ll be sitting ringside when we fight. Hopefully, you’ll be able to focus more on our match than you did the Carnie Bastards. Looks like you just can’t get enough of ‘Ol Thunder Knuckles.

TK smirks knowing what he said is true.

It’s almost like I threw the line out just to watch you eat up all the low-hanging fruit. Goddamn, people think you're so good, the best rassler in the world even, but I just exposed you for what you are. What you’ve always known to be true. You’re the King of the Midcarders now get back down where you belong, the grown folks are talking.

Tk's smile could light up a dark night.

You’re fucking with a once in a generational talent. I’m someone who sees the line, jumps over it, and doesn't look back to see all the crying-ass piss babies. Most people walk up to the line and flirt with it. Nah, homies, I walk up to the line and grab that bitch by the pussy. Why? Because I’m famous, that’s why.

TK’s face turns solum, he closes his eyes and bows his head. All the real Bastards around the world know what time it is, while Holden Ross is off picking his tights from his ass crack.

Bastardly Father, my opponents are weary. Their energy is weak, and their motivation is lagging. They are in need of YOU. They need YOUR strength and YOUR dark touch to get back them on track. Yet, they don't believe.

With his head bowed, TK shakes his head no.

Your Word says I will disembowel them in the ring. If that's true, then I need YOUR hatred to fill my mind, body, and soul.

The fever in TK's voice can be heard with every word.

The pressures of this tournament are pushing my opponents into a corner, rendering them helpless to move forward against the Bastards. They will feel paralyzed at our sight, not knowing where to turn. Bastardly Father, help me not to quit but keep fighting these pathetic fools, to find strength in the heat I bring upon myself, under the shadow of the Almighty Bastard.

TK raises his arms into the air to bask in the gloom casting down upon him.

I need your strength to say yes when given the chance to make this grouping of fuck wit rasslers, surrender to our harmful nature. When their cowardice and fear nudge them away from me. I will deny them their convictions by pressing forward. I will lift up my heavy-handed fists, with YOUR hatred fueling them, I will lay YOUR wraith upon my enemies, bringing them misery. I will completely consume the competition of their will to fight, which will make me strong again. I will not stay grounded, cripple those who are put in front of me by exposing their limitations, and laugh at their failed attempts. I'm tired of the feeble efforts put in by my competition. Bastardly Father, I want to mount up with wings like a vulture and not just fly. I want to circle above my prey as I watch them die in the ring.

Though his head is bowed you can see a wicked grin form on TK’s face.

Fill me with your ungodly natural power to overcome each and every unlucky fuck in my path. As they stare into my eyes, Bastardly Father, let them feel YOUR wraith with every blow that I deliver. They will be touched by the Thunder Strike and finally rest. As I stand above them, looking down, as you too, look down upon them, they will know YOUR unbridled power. In YOUR Bastardly name, I prey.

TK lifts his head and opens his eyes.

A-goddamn-men.

The scene fades to black with the sight of TK looking eerily calm.