Marf tosses and turns in the less than comfortable hotel bed. After a few moments of this he finally sits up and is quickly shocked. Despite how late it was the room was brightly lit up by the raging fires on each wall of the room. Despite all the flames there was absolutely no sound while Marf got out of the bed and bee lined for the door. He stops in front of it as it suddenly bursts into flames. Marf throws a heavy kick and busts open the door before he charges through it. Instead of stepping outside Marf runs into another room.
Marf stops short to stop himself from falling into a murky watered pool. There is a door on the other side of the pool. Marf heads to where the pool almost reaches the sides of the room and begins making his way to the other end of the room. With less than a foot between the wall and the edge, Marf takes his time to avoid falling into the gross looking water. It looked like someone dropped a swamp into an indoor pool. Just before Marf reaches the end he notices a sudden ripple in the middle of the pool. Marf lowers his head in annoyance and sighs.
…fuck sakes…
Marf attempts to make a run for the door as the murky water in the pool ripples aggressively and then explodes. A massive, lizard looking man bursts from the pool and lands beside the exit. Marf gets to the door but before he can open it the lizard beast wraps it’s giant arms around Marf and drags him back. Marf struggles but they both tip and fall backwards into the pool. They splash into the nasty waters and begin to sink into the darkness. Marf tries to fight out of the beast’s grip while it starts a death roll.
Marf swims as hard as he can to get away from the strange monster until he finally breaks the surface. Marf takes in a huge gulp of air before splashing his way onto the shore. He pulls himself up onto the small island and looks out in confusion at the surrounding ocean all around him. Marf turns and looks over the small island, no bigger than fifty square feet with a single coconut tree. Marf stops and stares at the tree for a moment, something off about it.
Marf slowly approaches the tree while looking at the middle of the trunk. Somehow, there is a window in the trunk of the tree. It isn’t very big but it is definitely a little weird tree window. Marf leans forward and looks into the window and is shocked to see the room. Formally their room. And in the familiar bed he could see two bodies laying there. One was her and the other was himself. Marf shakes his head before pressing his forehead against the little window so he can see.
What the hell is this?
As Marf peers into the tiny window he watches as the form clearly representing Lycana turns over to face the back of the unconscious form representing Marf. She quietly whispers a few lines while delicately moving her hand by the side of his head. A petite, blue light trickles out from her hand and appears to move into the side of Marf’s head, entering his temple. Marf watches in shock as his form begins to twitch in the bed while she continues to cast a spell. Marf bangs on the little window to no avail. The ruckus causes the tree to shake and a coconut falls and nails Marf on top of his head, knocking him out.
…oof, that looked painful, bud…
Marf groans and starts to roll over while shivering in the cold. He opens his eyes back up and can’t understand how he is seeing nothing but snow. Damien leans over and hauls him back to his feet. Marf looks around but can’t see anything but wild, blowing snow flurries. The tree is tipped over and dead now, covered in snow and the window nowhere to be found. Marf growls and turns back to face Damien. He is dressed in a huge parka and heavy snow boots but still also shivering.
Where did that window go, was that real? Was she really doing that to me?
Hey it’s your dream don’t ask me. I don’t understand why the hell you dragged me into this…
Marf starts trudging through the blizzard trying to navigate the mounds of piled up snow. The ocean is frozen over and Marf walks out onto the ice while Damien has no choice but to follow him. The wind is pushing at the two of them but they continue along their trek. Without proper toques or scarves there is a very real possibility that frost bite comes into play during this little excursion. A loud cracking can be heard but neither of them seem to know.
Was she manipulating my thoughts? My dreams? Did she create the awful shit that came after me? Everything was a distraction to avoid seeing who she really was…god damn werewolves are sluts!
At this point the ice gives way and both Marf as well as Damien fall through and drop for several minutes. They float in the empty space while falling. Damien looks around worried and confused while Marf glares at him. Finally they come crashing down through a roof. Marf slams into a bed and it collapses with his weight and velocity. Damien smashes on top of a night stand and obliterates it upon impact. Marf gets up as a figure enters the room. A blue furred werewolf emerges from the shadows as Marf stares in disbelief. Damien moans from the floor.
…I think it’s…
It isn’t dummy, this is just your weirdo dream. Nothing here is cannon…
What are you talking about!? Everything here is cannon, it always has been. Did you miss the part where a god damn djinn was trying to kill us? Or were you too busy fuckin’ all your werewolf dipshit friends?
I never did that!
Suddenly the blue haired werewolf speaks up.
No, you totally whored around don’t lie dude.
I fuckin’ knew it!
Damien gets back to his feet and yells at them both now.
So what if I got around a bit? Who cares!?
A bit? More like all the time! Even when we were younger, I remember you fucked your cousin.
I didn’t fuck my cousin!
No no I can remember clearly you with your cousin.
I made out with her once but I didn’t know she was my cousin. But once I did I stopped. I fucked her friends though, I had sex with her hot friends. I remember that!
Damien shrugs at Marf who is standing still, staring at them both in bewilderment.
This certainly wound up being information overload. But you know what you need to, don’t you?
She stares at Marf fiercely while it begins to glow a bright blue all around them. The illumination becomes blindly and Marf falls forward and then slams onto the floor from his bed. With his legs tangled in the sheets, Marf looks around in a panic before realizing he’s finally woken up.
God dammit…
To be continued…
It's evening, you're tired,
You sleep walk a robot out to the street.
Are you crazy, to want this, even for a while?
You're driving, it's rush hour,
The cars on the freeway are moving backwards.
Into a wall of fire.
Backwards,
Into a wall of fire.
Backwards,
Into a wall of fire.
Backwards,
Into a wall of fire.
And we're done, lying for a living.
The strange days have come and you're,
You're gone, you're gone.
And we're done, lying for a living.
The strange days have come and you're,
You're gone, you're gone.
Either dead or dying,
Either dead or trying, to go.
To go.
Somewhere in one of those lovely darkened, promo rooms everyone seems to have access to…
Marf slowly and solemnly enters the room, walking to the center of our blessed screens.
Well he did it, the Chameleon or Ned Kaye I should say, found a way to defeat me for the Xtreme title. I defended it for months before that sneaky son of a bitch found a way to beat me. He damn near broke my neck in the process. Almost crippling me was the only way anyone was going to put a stop to my reign. Hopefully ole Ned will be able to defend that beautiful title with honour. Otherwise I may have to step back into that ring with him. Without the element of surprise he might not do so well…so good luck sleeping Ned, better be looking over your shoulder going forward…
Marf bows and tips his nonexistent hat towards the camera in a smooth movement before continuing on.
No time to dwell on my past though, can only move forwards from here. Up next in my way is some stink finger gargler that calls himself Mac Bane. Apparently he is a client of everyone’s favourite punching bag, the one and only Chris Page. Laaa dee fuckin’ da!
Marf pantomimes shock and awe before rolling his eyes and then glaring into the camera.
So am I supposed to be impressed, Mac Bane? Like you being a client of Chris Page means anything to me? What have you even done here? A huge victory over someone you’re supposed to be aligned with, cool man, well done. Pat yourself on the fuckin’ back and then give that jackass Page a raise for allowing that shit to happen. To your credit, you at least got the victory. Unfortunately your little winning streak is about to come to an end. What the hell do you even have to talk about?
Your precious life story about wrestling since your teens? Do you think that makes you special? Nobody gives a fuck when or where you learned to fight. I sure as fuck won’t care as I bend and break those big bones of yours. Or do you think your big win at the pay per view matters? Spoiler alert, it means Jack shit to me and basically everyone else. You got a win at a pay per view. I’ve got several of those. Whatever importance you think your career has had means absolutely nothing to me. I see you as nothing more than a giant pile of shit.
Once we get in that ring I’ll help you understand. I get it, you’re a big, dumbass Texan that can’t handle multiple syllabled words. When we enter the ring, I’ll assist you in experiencing some of the worst pain you’ve ever felt in your useless life. I’m going to hurt you real fuckin’ bad once that bell rings Mac Bane. I’ll send you running back to Chris Page’s tit with your tail tucked between your broken fucking legs. I won’t be surprised if you take this upcoming beating and then fuck right off.
Marf stops and begins to belt out a beautiful tune with his pitch perfect voice of an Angel.
Ooooooooo hoooooooo, I was a sixteen year old boyyyyy!
Ooooooooo hooooooo, wrestling was my special toyyyyy!
Marf stops and spits in disgust.
Shut the fuck up. Seriously dude, nobody fuckin’ cares. To be honest, I’m not even about to dish out a vicious beating because you’re special or mean anything at all, Mac Bane. It didn’t matter who they put in front of me on this upcoming Warfare. I have a bad fuckin’ taste in my mouth and I need to take it out on someone. Lucky lil Baney won the get your ass kicked sweepstakes. So you drag that big ole pile of shit you call a body out to Vegas and brace yourself for the worst beating in all your precious years.
Marf takes a moment to run his thumb slowly across his throat while staring coldly into the camera.
Or maybe, you should do a much smarter thing, Mac Bane. Maybe, just maybe it would be better for you to not show up at all. Save yourself, and your hunk of shit body a world of hurt, take the night off. I’m sure Chris has some shitty champagne you can sulk into. Live to see another day, right Mac? At least that way you’ll still be able to walk right. But if not, if your pride drives you into this violent assault otherwise known as a match with me. Well then I will have no choice but to take years off your fuckin’ career. Nothing personal, I just want to fuck someone up.
So with that said, it looks like you’re fucked, Mac Bane. See you soon, sweetheart.
Marf shoots that Cheshire Cat grin our way before blowing a kiss as we fade to black.
2x Xtreme Champion
2x Television Champion
2x Freestyle Champion
5x Heavy Metal Weight Champion
Member of Charlie’s Carnies
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