TO DETERMINE THE SECOND OF TWO CONTENDERS FOR THE GEMINI TITLES...
A FATAL 4-WAY TAG TEAM MATCH!
THE BING BONG TWINZZ
BGTL
2 BROKE CHICKS
THEMIS PALAESTRA[/mad]
[mad] IDL DIVISION
ELIJAH COPELAND VS. MOLLY BARNES #1 CONTENDER'S MATCH
"SPOILED" SUMMER PAGE VS. JOHNNY MIAMI
CHRIS "DOC" DOCHERTY VS. LI'L JUICY VS. HOMER "THE HUMANOID" SAPIEN TRIPLE THREAT FOR THE IDL CHAMPIONSHIP...
"THE V.I.P." CHRIS MOSH VS. LEXI GOLD![/mad]
Hello hello! Marv Smegma here… I’ve got your exclusive Madness backstage interviews as well as ALL the rumors surrounding the XWF… which you can hear all about just by dialing our XWF tipline! Don’t miss it! Call today!
PRE-SHOW DARK MATCHES:
Mad Rhymes def. The Big Upps Via Maximum Overdrive (Match Time 7:32)
Terry Borden def. The Aroostook Strangler Via Atomic Leg Drop of Death (Match Time 4:55)
Pebbles def. The Knight Terrors, Mini Morbid, Shorty the Shocker, Muscle Midget, Li’l Elvis,My Buddy & Kid Sister, and the PowerTUFF Girlz in a Minis Battle Royal (Match Time 19:18)
Pre-Show Main Event:
Death Rattle def. The Disintigrators via Unmarked Grave (Match Time 12:49)
The scene opens on a pitch-black screen. Ominous music As the music plays, a flash of lightning lights up the shot, revealing a figure standing close to the camera, their back turned to the viewer. Smoke surrounds the ominous figure. Thunder immediately follows, leading to a short, high-pitched yelp from the figure, proceeded by a brief coughing fit.
The screen lights up as the lights switch on, revealing Sierra Silver, covered in a black cloak with a hood pulled over her head and eyes. She coughs for a moment while waving the smoke away from her face.
Sierra Silver: The smoke machine was a bad idea! Really really bad!
Once the smoke dissipates, Sierra drops her hood behind her and gives the viewer a bright smile
Sierra Silver: Good evening, boils and ghouls! It is I, the world’s sweetest supervillain, Sierra HECKIN Silver! And today!
…
Sierra Silver: Okay not today, I’m recording this a few days in advance… But TODAY, at the time of this video airing, You will see me, teaming up with the great Vita Valenteen, to take on the Team KTFO! …Maybe?
Sierra’s excited look droops a little.
Sierra Silver: I do hope Kai is okay…
She’s silent for a moment, staring at the floor. But she quickly resumes her cheerful tone.
Sierra Silver: But it’s okay! Mr. Kai will be okie! I’m sure of it! But in the meantime, the show must go on! So Vita and me will unite our mysterious forces to defeat Mr. Peters and whoever his partner ends up being in a contest of fun and excitement! We’re gonna BOOM!
Sierra throws a dramatic punch.
Sierra Silver: POW!
Another child-like punch.
Sierra Silver: Wham-bam-thank you ma’am!
Four punches in rapid succession.
Sierra Silver: And then! And then and then we’ll continue to help in the search for Mr. Peters’ partner! And everything will end happily ever after!!!
Silver caps off her rant with an arching arm gesture similar to the arch of a rainbow. She then sets her arms firmly at her sides.
Sierra Silver: So when Ms. Valenteen and me come out on top and secure our places as the coolest and spookiest people on the Monday Night Madness roster, we will each go on our respective paths to success in XdubF! I betcha we’ll face off for the IDL Championship one day. BET! But until then… please enjoy the rest of Madness, please enjoy the match, and of course, stay spooky!!!
Sierra waves with both hands, a bright smile on her face. Thunder hits again, making her jump and yelp in fright as the scene fades out.
A simple backdrop with the XWF Madness logo sitting center on the wall comes into view. Really, it seemed like one of those roll away walls with a poster of the logo stapled or pinned to the wall. Very cheap. Marv Smegma is standing by with a microphone held tightly in both hands as he smiles with his stupid mustache.
MARV SMEGMA: "I am backstage at this wild and crazy show in New Zealand and at this time, I would like to welcome a few guests…"
Bouncing like Tigger as he enters the live recording is Jason Cashe. As he looks into the camera, he holds up both hands as if to hold something at bay.
Jason Cashe: "No, no, tonight is NOT about me!"
Stepping aside, he turns to the right and in walks Josslynn Spencer. The smile on Cashe's face was big enough for them both because she wasn't a big smiler.
Jason Cashe: "My gorgeously adorable Woo Saah! Talk to my Baby Marv!"
Kissing her to the top of her head, Cashe steps back some. Giving her the entirety of the spotlight.
Marv Smegma: "Welcome to Madness Josslynn!"
Josslynn Spencer: "Thank you, I'm excited to be a part of this!"
Marv Smegma: "Fantastic! I want to ask and I'm sure our viewers want to know.. What attracted you to sign with XWF and the Madness Show?"
Josslynn Spencer: "It's no secret that XWF has been around for a long time now. It has helped create some of the most recognizable names in this sport and when Madness called, I couldn't pass up the opportunity!"
Marv Smegma: "According to my source, you are pretty green as far as in ring competition goes. Graduating from Emerald City Squires up in Washington State. What is it that Josslynn Spencer brings to the table?"
Josslynn Spencer: "I am newer to the ring but that isn't a bad thing. People often take someone new, someone green as you worded it and think that they have lessons to learn, scars to obtain before their time in the spotlight can be had. I believe I have a lot of those lessons and some of those scars just in the life I've already lived. What I bring to the table is a new, fresh pair of eyes that understands that you get what you put in and gain what you fight for!"
With every word she speaks, Jason Cashe is in the backdrop of the conversation just smiling and looking at her work.
Marv Smegma: "What do you say to those who will claim that without your boyfriend, you wouldn't have even been given a contract?"
The smile on Cashe's face falls into a frown as he turns and slaps Marv across the face.
Jason Cashe: "Boooy.. You must have knocked your noggin talking to her like that!"
Josslynn pulls at Cashe to back off. She can handle it and it was just him coming to her aid. Something she didn't need but surely appreciated from Cashe.
Josslynn Spencer: "I say to those who will make claims and talk up excuses for what is to come can do just that. Make claims and talk. Prove it. Show me that I can't just as I will show everyone that I can!"
Jason Cashe: "Oohhh weee! That's my Wooo Saaah! She fine too ain't she? Mmmm!"
He stood staring at her in awe until Josslynn laughed and shoved him back. Marv was still holding his cheek from where Cashe had slapped him. He seemed a bit hesitant to ask more questions but it was his job.
Marv Smegma: "What are your plans, both short term and long term in XWF?"
Josslynn Spencer: "Short term? To get booked in my first match inside of an XWF ring! Long term?
She glances over at Jason Cashe and grins, almost a smile but not a full one. Shrugging, she glances back to Marv and responds.
Josslynn Spencer: "Plenty to hope for!"
Jason Cashe: "Ooh.."
Like a dog seeing a squirrel, Cashe stares past Marv and begins moving off camera.
Jason Cashe: "I think I saw a tweety bird.. I'll be right back!"
He leaves in a hurry. Josslynn watching him, she seems to want to leave as well. More concerned for what Cashe might be doing. He has a score to settle with the Bing Bong Twinzz afterall. Marv grabs her attention with yet another question.
Marv Smegma: "What is one thing you would tell the Madness roster that they should know now that you're here?"
Josslynn Spencer: "That I am not a gimmick. You won't find me waving a flag around as if where I was born is my only play. You won't see me spiking my hair and looking all kinds of crazy just to stand out in the crowd. I will stand out as I stand tall inside that ring! As my boyfriend has said, I will have My Hand Raised... And I will do it at other people's expense."
Noticing something down the hall where Cashe had gone. Josslynn cuts Marv off before he can ask a follow up.
Josslynn Spencer: "Now, If you'll excuse me…"
Brushing past Marv, Josslynn leaves the scene chasing after her boyfriend who was chasing trouble. At least the potential of it.
Marv Smegma: "Let's head back to ringside!"
Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to XWF MADNESS! As always, I’m Jacuinde and I am thrilled to be here alongside my broadcast partner, Bath Saltzmann!
What a show we have here tonight, J! School buses! Need I say more???
Oh there’s plenty more! How about a fatal fourway match between four tag teams vying for the coveted second slot in the Gemini Titles match? Or a number one contender’s clash between Molly Barnes and Elijah Copeland?
A triple threat is on deck as well as tag team action pitting Team KTFO against Sierra Silver and NEW Madness addition, Vita Valenteen! I’m excited to see how KTFO adapts to the kidnapping of Kai Morgan…
CLOWN-napping, Bath. But we’ll have to wait and see, because first we have a one on one match… let’s go!
VS.
The opening riff of Jan Hammer's Miami Vice theme song starts playing as Johnny Miami slowly makes his way out from behind the curtain. He stands at the top of the entry way staring out at the crowd until about the 32 second mark of the song at which point he walks down to the ring, slapping hands with the fans lined up along the entry way the whole time. Once Johnny gets to the ring he slowly ascends the stops, walks along the ring apron and then steps through the top and middle ropes before posing in the center of the ring for a few seconds as the song comes to a close.
The crowd cheers loudly as “Spoiled” Summer Page makes her way out from the back - and she looks like the picture of perfection in sequins and flawless makeup and hair.
As she slowly walks to the ring, even Johnny Miami has no choice but to be mesmerized by the gorgeous creature walking his direction. Eventually, Page enters the ring and stands in her corner without even so much as a glance in Miami’s direction. Ouch, bro.
DING!
Summer Page looks unwilling to actually have to physically touch Johnny Miami, but eventually she locks up with him and ends up taking him down with a headlock takeover. She hits a chinlock and grinds it in for a little while before eventually breaking and choosing to send Miami to the ropes instead. A hip toss follows, but when she attempts to follow up with a clothesline Miami ducks it and hops up into a crucifix for a pin! Page is free by the two count.
Miami briefly takes control and uses some impact strikes to wear Page down, looking to soften her up for a big finish. After a whip into a corner followed by a running splash gets Summer Page dizzy, Johnny Miami looks to move into the endgame with a quick Michinoku Driver! Miami goes to the top looking for a 450, but Summer Page rolls away and Miami eats the canvas hard!
Summer unleashes a barrage of various suplexes that have Miami bouncing from pillar to post, but each time she tries to make a cover he worms a shoulder off the mat just in time to save his hide. Summer is obviously frustrated by being unable to put Johnny Miami away and ramps up the heat, planting Miami with a big spike DDT before heading to the top rope herself. She poses for the crowd before leaping off the top buckle with a PERFECT moonsault, her body arching gracefully like a swan. But this time it’s Johnny Miami’s turn to spoil the plas by getting his knees up!
Johnny Miami wastes no time, scrambling to his feet and getting out to the ring apron as Summer Page staggers around and grabs her ribs, trying to get some air back into her lungs. She turns just as Miami springboards toward her with a phenomenal forearm! WELCOME TO MIAMI!
BUT HE GETS CAUGHT WITH A SUPERKICK IN MID AIR! THE TOTAL KNOCKOUT FROM SUMMER PAGE! Johnny Miami is stood straight up, starched by the kick and with lifeless eyes as Summer Page hooks him and brings him over for the Pre Perfection pinning combination, snaring him for the 1-2-3!
WINNER - “SPOILED” SUMMER PAGE
(Match Time 8:11)
What an incredibly impressive display from Summer Page! She has it all as she showed here tonight, Bath. Brains, brawn, AND beauty!
ESPECIALLY beauty, Jacuinde! This girl should be on every cover of every magazine. I’m gonna make sure and introduce myself right after we go off the air!
I don’t think she’s on the market, Bath, but something tells me that’s never stopped you before… but that’s not important right now, we’ve got a big triple threat on deck right after this!
The scene is not so peaceful and serene this time - an oceanside view still, yes, complete with the sights and sounds of birds soaring overhead and descending to the shoreline, yes, but the background isn’t nearly as verdant as Efate Island’s. A colossal metropolis spans the entirety of the horizon. Much like the last time, it’s earlier on in the day, but unlike the last time, the humanity peppering the beachfront is more significant. And yes, before you know it, a familiar gentleman dressed in bermuda shorts and flip flops, and of course their signature shades, shows up, only not in the same bermuda shorts and flip flops from the last time. It’s none other than The Ideas Man himself, Johnny Hitmaker! He makes his way toward the camera, a smirk on his face as he clasps his hands together.
“Ladies and gentlemen, what BETTER place to be, RIGHT here, RIGHT now, than AUCKLAND, NEW ZEALAND?!”
He strolls further down the beach, before a thought crosses one of his two minds.
“Somehow, I feel I said that before.”
He shakes off the feeling.
“Anyway, joining the XWF’s Monday Night Madness show, hell, joining the XWF as a whole, it’s expanded my - and therefore OUR horizons; NEVER in my life did I think I’d EVER get to visit these exotic locales in far-off isolated spots!”
He passes by a hotdog vendor, then walks backward until he’s in front of it again. A wordless exchange of New Zealand Dollars and wieners takes place. He takes a bite of the exquisite cuisine, then holds up a finger.
“Unless I already HAVE been to comparable exotic locales throughout my illustrious and lengthy career, BUT… the point still stands! And BESIDES, be it here in Auckland or basically ANYWHERE Hitmaker-Yamazaki Enterprises roams, we ARE the exotic sights to see-”
He whips off his shades and points at the camera.
“And we ARE the main attractions! No matter WHERE we are on this big ol’ marble of ours, we plus insert city name here, ALWAYS equal ratings! But you want international? Look no further than Haitch Why Ee: Germany, Japan, Greece, whatever planet Android 69 is from, back in time - that’s a reference to Ms. Boleyn, or yes, even the U-Nited States of America! We’ve got something for EVERYONE under our humble little umbrella!”
He takes a few more bites of the hotdog, taking an annoyingly long time to finish chewing before he continues.
“Mm, succulent. Now, if I may, and I do, allow me to do a LITTLE something here, and state: let me make one thing… PERFECTLY CLEAR: You didn’t come by the specTACULAR second episode of Monday Night Madness to hear me go on and on-”
Johnny tries stifling a laugh.
“All right, okay, of COURSE you did, but it’s time to get down to it, as it were! You see, Much like the inaugural episode, you’ll be getting FOUR for the price of ONE later on tonight; that’s right, we have the SENSATIONAL duo, that PREMIER tandem of professional wrestling today, Agrippina and Desdemona Themis, one-half of the ONLY sisters quartet in the sport today: Themis Palaestra returning tonight! They get a second chance to become contenders to the first-ever Gemini Championships, and betting against THOSE two this time around is akin to selling your home to buy, to buy a goddamn Giggling Kitty NFT!”
He shudders at the very thought.
“And SPEAKING of second chances, everyone’s got a second chance to be crowned the NEW Lord of Violence, a title first won last time by the OTHER member of Hitmaker-Yamazaki Enterprises, hell, the senior MEMBER of the group - his name’s even in the title, for Johnny’s sake!! That’s right, ‘Deathwish’ Hide Yamazaki! And talk about going from rags to riches; he went from losing early on in the IDL Championship tournament to outlasting everyone else in that horrible abandoned building they blew up! Betting against HIM is akin to expecting to put out a fire with a bucket of butane!”
He finishes off his hotdog before continuing.
“And - remember I said four for the price of one? Well, lucky number four is none other than the self-proclaimed - and everyone-proclaimed for that matter - World’s Sweetest Supervillain, that’s right, I’m talkin’ about Sierra Silver! SHE’LL be teaming up with Vita Valenteen to take on one of the official number one contenders to the Gemini Titles, and a win against THOSE jamokes ENSURES a title match down the line, I GUARANTEE it! You want superpowered antics? Evil escapades? Put your money, then, on Ms. Silver, because guess WHAT? NOT betting on her is akin to… being a fucking idiot!!”
Any amount of wit has escaped both of his minds.
“Don’t! Don’t EVER bet against a member of Hitmaker-Yamazaki Enterprises!! If you take ANYTHING away from this, it’s that WE are the ones to beat! WE kick the asses and THEY lick their wounds! The last time, we were just dipping our toes in the crystal clear WATERS; THIS time, we’re going all in, and there’s not a DAMN thing ANYONE can do about it!”
He starts to walk away, but then turns around briefly.
“Bet on THAT!”
Then, he continues to walk off as the scene comes to an end.
The scene opens up outside on location of the Out of Control School Bus Demolition Derby Match that is taking place soon. To the far corner, we see a row of lined up buses. One bus in particular has The Queen of Trickery Jacki O'Lantern sitting on the front hood with her legs crossed. Since she is scheduled to compete, she was already in her ring gear and her green and purple hair is tied back into a ponytail. Jacki flashes the camera a smile before speaking.
“I'm sure I am going to be called crazy for agreeing to enter yet another death match, but truth be told I enjoy competing even if it means doing the ass kicking or getting my ass kicked. You saw both happen during the first one. While I was close to winning it, the better man won. Now I'm comin' back for more, but inside a school bus?! A freakin school bus..”
She shocked herself by replaying those words in her head, but she loved the creativeness behind the match.
“I can't say I have ever been involved in anything like this. I loved taking the bus to school as a kid growing up, but this… this is a whole different scenario. Jeepers Creepers, how exactly does one fight inside a moving vehicle? Can we survive this? Who is driving the bus? I have many questions...”
Just as she was going to continue speaking, footsteps were heard coming from nearby. She turns her head and notices--
The victor of the first-ever Lord of Violence match.
The Strong Style Satanist.
“Deathwish” Hide Yamazaki.
Something about Hide seemed off; for all intents and purposes, it surely must have been him, but gone were the wily eyes, seething, and bared teeth. In their place, there was a man. Just a man. An impressive physical specimen to say the least, but a far cry from the berserker who went from a loss in the IDL Championship tournament to the inaugural Lord of Violence. He seems startled to have come across none other than the very person he left buried alive back in Vanuatu.
He holds up his hands as a gesture of peace, just in case. “Ms. O’Lantern!”
He looked around for his agent, Canada’s Greatest Manager Johnny Hitmaker, or even their official translator Akira Suzaku, but of course they were nowhere to be found.
“I’ve come in peace, but I’m uncertain you can understand me.”
She notices him standing there and hops off the bus, then walks near him. The flashbacks of their match start to come back to her, smiling as she stands across from him. Despite him winning, Jacki had respect for him.
“I can understand you just fine. I'm glad you are here. I never properly got to introduce myself to you, or congratulate you on your win the first time, so congrats and I look forward to doing it again even if I'm unfamiliar with the rules. I wonder what other crazy ideas they will have for us next time. ”
She laughs, finding that to be funny, but also it was like a mystery on what other matches they could possibly have in mind.
Hide was in luck; Jacki could speak Japanese! That happened a lot more often than it should, but he was grateful for such kismet. Akira might not, if it means she’ll eventually be out of a job.
“I would like to know who creates these insane scenarios. Only those who can also withstand these challenges ought to be doing so.”
He moves up to the bus itself, examining it briefly before turning back to Jacki.
“It won’t be long before this vehicle harbors the stuff of nightmares. Right now, it could be any regular school bus, taking children to and from school. But the next time we battle, we - and the others - will be riding it, not to school, but to Hell.”
She turned to examine the bus with him and rubbed her chin, smirking as she had an idea they could possibly do before the match took place.
“Perhaps we could get a closer look inside this bus to see what we're about to get ourselves into. I don't know if it's locked, but it's worth a try.”
She snickers and the two walk together toward the bus. It just so happened to be their lucky day, because it was unlocked, so they entered the bus. Lo and behold, the keys were in the ignition. Jacki pulls the keys out and dangles them in her hands as she looks at him.
“There are no rules stating that we can't take this bad boy out for a cruise before the match. I don't know about you, but I'm pretty damn hungry. I could use a milkshake and a burger. Would you do us the honor and drive us there?”
Hide initially hesitated. He wondered if they’d get in trouble. He wondered if the bus was safe to ride, either in general, or if any traps within it would activate when it began moving. He then recollected his very moniker: Deathwish. He had little recourse but to accept this mission. After all, what could really go wrong? So he takes the keys into his hand, and takes a seat in front of the wheel. He puts on a seatbelt, then inserts the key into the ignition. When he turns the key, the engine revs. But thankfully, no fires, no explosions, nothing crazy. He breathed a sigh of relief.
“All right, so which way?”
She takes a seat behind him and puts on her seatbelt, then looks around and realizes she is unfamiliar with the areas of New Zealand. That was her first time visiting the country, so everything was new to her, so she blurted out the first answer that came to mind.
“I'd say take a right. We need some cool tunes. Maybe see what is playing on the radio. I don't know about you, but I'm in the mood for some heavy metal. What is your genre of choice, Hide?”
Hide nodded at Jacki’s suggestion, then proceeded to switch the radio on and began searching for something that suited his soon-to-be opponent’s tastes. Soon enough, he came across this song, already in progress:
He pointed at the radio, figuring this was a sufficient station. He revved the engine several more times, before putting it into forward gear. They were now on their way! Destination: New Zealand’s finest burgers! Quite the challenge, considering he didn’t know his way around this fantastical island nation. She bobbed her head to the music as the scene faded.
VS. VS.
Homer “The Humanoid” Sapien walks awkwardly to the ring in a manner that seems vaguely reptilian, as if his two legs are not communicating properly with one another as he moves.
He gets to the ring and lies on his belly on the apron, choosing to slither the rest of the way to his corner.
As the fans wait in anticipation, "Victory" hits over the PA and the crowd rise to their feet, awaiting the arrival of Doc. The lights then turn to darkness, a blue glow illuminating the top of the ramp and two white strobe lighting bolts shining across it. They cross over in a huge "X" shape, like the St. Andrews flag of Scotland, and as Doc walks out and stands under the "X", the lights turn back on Doc remaind on the spot for a few seconds, before speeding up his approach to the ring as the song enters its chorus, never once looking out to the crowd, staring straight ahead at his opponent in the ring.
Li’l Juicy pops out of the back and starts slinging hundred dollar bills all over the place like he’s making it rain in the strip club.
He slaps some hands and struts like a P-I-M-P all the way down to the ring, then gets ready with a few stretches while waiting for the referee to call for the bell.
DING!
Homer Sapien ambles toward Juicy but gets dumped from the ring right at the start of the match with a big back body drop. Sapien hits the concrete floor hard with a loud SPLAT, and leaves a puddle behind when he rolls away. Doc Docherty doesn’t let Juicy celebrate for long though, as he’s on him in a heartbeat with a series of strikes followed by locking him into a Muay Thai clinch for several stunning knees. When Juicy is wobbled enough it looks like Doc is lining up for the Docherty Pride kick, but Sapien trips him up from the outside!
Li’l Juicy decides to take advantage and spears Doc through the ropes but Doc moves away and Juicy dives out onto Sapien instead! Both men winding up sprawled on the floor after the impact. Docherty climbs a corner and lines up Juicy in his sights… AIR GLASGOW ONTO LI’L JUICY ON THE FLOOR!
Docherty rolls Juicy back into the ring and tries to follow but Sapien clobbers him from behind, knocking him into the railing. An EEL SLAP enzuigiri later and Doc is laid out on the floor, and Sapien goes into the ring to follow up on Li’l Juicy. Sapien charges in, and Juicy scoops him up in a sidewalk slam! Li’l Juicy now to the top… SAUCY! Li’l Juicy crushes Sapien with the move and looks for a pin, but Sapien is saved at the count of two when Docherty re-enters the ring and drops a big knee onto the back of Juicy’s head.
Docherty looks to press his advantage on Juicy but he gets caught with an unexpected headbutt that stuns him, and soon finds himself draped over Li’l Juicy’s shoulders… IUNNO! The Death Valley Driver lands and even Juicy looks surprised, giving a shrug before going for a pinfall that gets him two before Docherty kicks out. Docherty rolls off to catch his breath and Juicy stalks him… but gets grabbed from behind with a PREDATOR’S CLAW from Homer Sapien! Juicy is quivering with paralysis and looks like he might have to tap out, but Docherty thinks quick and slaps a DOC LOCK onto the leg of Homer Sapien! Sapien lets go of Li’l Juicy who shakes off the effects of the claw and sees Doc moments away from a win, so he scales the ropes and leaps off with a SPLASH LIKE PIPPEN! Docherty moves though and Juicy hits Sapien full on.
Docherty throws Juicy out of the ring through the ropes, and then he stands a dazed Sapien up and hooks him up for a belly to belly suplex! PREDATOR’S CLAW ONTO DOCHERTY! Docherty goes rigid from the nerve hold and Sapien stares him right in the eyes as he applies more and more pressure… and then Li’l Juicy leaps from the top rope and catches Sapien in a flying DDT! Let the Juices Flow! Juicy with a cover, but the attempt is broken up by Docherty, who then lines up and drills Juicy with a Genocide Kick! Juicy is sent through the ropes again and his foot gets caught between the bottom two, leaving him hanging upside down!
Docherty returns his attention to Sapien, who is still pretty much out though now up on his feet. Docherty sees his chance and backs up into a corner, then runs out with a DOCHERTY PRIDE KICK! Sapien is folded over and Docherty hooks a leg for the 1-2-3!
WINNER - CHRIS “DOC” DOCHERTY
(Match Time 13:13)
Huge win for Chris Docherty! He made a statement here tonight against two very unpredictable opponents!
Something is just not right about that Homer Sapien, and I’ve got people looking into it. I though Li’l Juicy had this match won but you know what they say, if the bell didn’t ring you’ve gotta keep going!
I don’t think that’s actually a saying, Bath, but it’s true nonetheless. All it takes is one momentary distraction and a loss is on your record. That’s what makes it MADNESS!
Of course it’s a saying! My grandmother said it, she’s a Romani woman and knows a lot of things about a lot of things! I even checked in on her opinion for this next big Gemini match, and she said Team KTFO was DEFINITELY going to win.
But will it really be Team KTFO? Last week in another company, one with TERRIBLE security measures, Kai Morgan was ABDUCTED by some weird clowns! No one has seen him! Oliver Peters told the powers that be that the match is still a go here tonight and that he DOES have a partner… but who!?
What difference does it make, Jacuinde? The United Elite are the most athletically gifted fraternity in wrestling. It’s why women like Summer Page are drawn to them - because they are WINNERS in everything they do! Some random pairing of wannabe superpowered weirdos isn’t gonna change that!!
Vita Valenteen, here to make her MADNESS debut, is a hugely decorated member of the XWF family, Bath! She’s held tag team gold AND singles gold on numerous occasions… but she has shown some reservations about teaming with a self-described VILLAIN like Sierra Silver.
Of course she has! With all the bad history she’s seen, what with the Baddies and her own former best friend turning on her… Vita Valenteen wants nothing to do with villainy. I bet she leaves Silver high and dry!
Let’s find out RIGHT AFTER THIS!
Unfortunately for Molly Barnes, wrestling hasn’t been able to pay all of the many bills that just keep stacking up, and therefore hasn’t given up on her part-time job serving at Nando’s just yet. It’s a busy Saturday Night and Molly barely has time to look up as the Madness camera crew comes barging in.
Molly:"Alrite? Table for thr-? Oh, it’s you lads. Look, mate, I know I said I’d do a promo vid and all that, but I’ve been busy doing errands and working. I guess I can talk for a bit, but only if you’re getting a table."
Molly waved them over and seated the Madness crew at a table. Good thing they were up for some spicy chicken.
Molly:"Three chicken butterflies, garlic bread and some spicy rice, sound good? And don’t forget to tip, you cheap wankers, I know how much Vinnie pays you. Did you know I still haven’t received a bloody penny from my shirt sales? Doesn’t feel right, does it? Meanwhile, Eliijah’s had his knickers in a twist ever since I pinned him and he wants revenge; As if it’s my bloody fault he didn’t win the IDL thing."
Molly looks up for a second.
Molly:"Although I guess it IS my fault, innit? Still, no reason for him to try and bash me brains in with a bloody chair. What kind of a sore loser does that? Ya lost, mate, get over it, stop being such a big girl’s blouse. I wonder if he’ll go crying again if I kick him up the arse a second time. In any case, it was brilliant of Sierra to come and help me when I got attacked. Good lass, innit? We shouldn’t let those bastards like Mosh and Copeland get away with that stuff, or this show’s gonna go down the pan quicker than you can say ‘Stretford End’. Now, if that’ll be all, I’ll go fetch your orders."
Molly adjusted her Nando’s cap and rushed towards the kitchen. At least she was doing honest work for her money this time.
The screen starts off black as there’s sounds of a crowd before a familiar sound of a spray can being shaken before being used and slowly, the 2 Broke Chicks logo is sprayed on the screen and we come into the scene with the sound of an RV speeding through the parking lot and tires squealing before the familiar RV of Chiaki Sanada and Jane Harper pulls into it and slides into position and the horn honks before the door opens and Jane comes running out and leaning up against the side of the vehicle.
Jane Harper: God damnit, Cheech, one of these days you’re gonna kill us! I still don’t know why I let you drive.
Right behind Jane, Chiaki grabs the door frame and swings her legs up, launching herself out of the RV. She lands in a Spider-Man pose, straightens her posture and crotch chop taunts the camera before turning to her saner half.
Chiaki Sanada: Ayy whassuh! Chi Chi good driver! Nobody die!
There’s a brief pause as the pair stare at each other. Chi Chi reaches out and gives Jane a sudden nipple pinch through her shirt to which the bigger of the two swats the little one’s hand away with an eye roll.
Jane Harper: Nipple pinch?! Seriously, Cheech?
Jane tries to maintain a serious expression as she looks down at the blue haired demon she calls a girlfriend, but that toothy little grin of Chiaki’s is just enough to break her as she chuckles and shakes her head.
Jane Harper: I swear, you’re one weird, cute, little demon. You’re definitely something else, but we gotta get focused now.
Chiaki nods, slams the RV door shut, braces her hands against the surface and just headbutts the everloving shit out of it.
Chiaki Sanada: IKOU ZE!!!! TWO BEE CEE!! FAKKIN’ GET!!!!
She blinks and brings a hand up to her forehead, grimacing.
Chiaki Sanada: Ow…
Jane laughs a little more before she wraps her arms around Chiaki and leans down, kissing the woman’s forehead and shaking her head.
Jane Harper: Save that shit for the ring. We got ourselves a second chance at movin on to win tag team gold here in XWF. All we gotta do is beat three other teams, two we beat last month in our debut here, so it shouldn’t be that hard for us. We know that if we hadn’t been in two other matches before losing, we woulda been the ones moving into the title match in the first place, but that ain’t no excuse, we just get to fight again and prove to everyone that we deserve that spot.
Chiaki Sanada: Hai! Greek bishes, Bee Gee bishes learn already. Grody ass muhfakkas finally learn who we be! Bing Bong Twinzz, FAKKU LIFE!! BING BONG!!
Chiaki throws the middle finger to the camera. Someone offscreen in the distance can be heard yelling…
Voice: Gimmick infringement!!
Chiaki’s head snaps to the side and she extends a middle finger in that direction.
Chiaki Sanada: AYY FAKKU TOO, BISH ASS!!!
She looks up at Jane again. Her big, wide, very possibly crazy doe eyes just staring up at the muscle of 2 Broke Chicks.
Chiaki Sanada: We win tonight. Get win back from Peters-san and—
Suddenly she stops. Chiaki looks right at the camera with a horrific realization on her face and right on cue we hear the Metal Gear Solid “alert” sound effect: She looks back to Jane.
Chiaki Sanada: Oi! After win, what do? Kai-san missing! Who we fight?!
Jane stands there moment, a somber look on her face as she realizes what Chiaki is talking about. She looks at the girl and brings her in close before just giving her a squeeze.
Jane Harper: After we beat the shit out of three other teams, we go fuckin clown hunting and get Kai back. Ain’t no way I’m letting a group of creepy ass clowns keep us from getting a rematch with Peters and Morgan. I’ll kill a painted up bastard if I have to get his sorry ass back for us to kick and win gold. Shit, I ain’t scared of no damn clowns. Hell, you’re scarier than any clown to ever exist Cheech, you’re much crazier than anything they could throw at us.
As Jane speaks on her level of craziness, that twisted, impish, borderline between creepy and adorable grin slowly spreads across her face as she taps her fingernails together like a scheming little minion.
Chiaki Sanada: Hehehehehe. Chi Chi got some–
The Metal Gear Solid alert goes off again. Chiaki rolls her eyes and fumbles through her baggy pockets until she finds her phone and looks at it. Her eyes go wide and she trembles with sudden joy, showing her screen to Jane.
Chiaki Sanada: Someone buy NFT!
She giggles, pockets her phone and gets back on subject, raising a finger to the camera as she backs towards the RV.
Chiaki Sanada: Hai, you try and fakk on us? Chi Chi got somethin’ for you ass! Peep dis!
She opens the RV and disappears inside for a moment. As Jane stands there waiting, we hear a grunt before Chiaki returns, carrying - much to the crowd’s delight - a brand spanking new black and blue painted chainsaw with “BUZZ BUZZ BISHES” engraved on the blade.
Chiaki Sanada: You fakk wit Two Bee Cee? Chi Chi cut down to size!! Greek bishes! Bee Gee bishes! Bing Bong bishes! Clown bishes!! All get chop chop!!
She pulls the cord on the saw, cranking it up and revs it at the camera, causing the camera man to back up out of fear he’s about to get chased again.
Jane Harper: I swear, Dona needs to stop buying you new chainsaws.
Jane shakes her head as she points towards the entrance to the building and then down at Chiaki with a grin on her face.
Jane Harper: Go get em, Cheech!
Chiaki grins again, revving the chainsaw loudly and raising it up over her head.
Voice: Oh great! Nooooow you’re ripping off Texas Chainsaw Massacre!! No wonder they call you bitches broke! You probably spend all your checks paying royalties!!
Chiaki lowers the saw. She looks off in that direction. She looks back up at Jane with an incredulous expression. She looks back off at the source of the voice…before taking off towards it, revving the chainsaw again.
Chiaki Sanada: CHI CHI RIP YOU MUHFAKKA!!!!!!
Voice: OH SHIT!!!!
We hear the sound of the chainsaw roaring, Chiaki yelling in Japanese and the unseen backstage attendant cursing hysterically as Jane watches the chase go on. First with amusement before her eyes go wide with the realization that her girlfriend isn’t playing around. She looks at the camera again before running off after Chiaki and the segment cuts to black.
VS.
As the opening riff of "Bloody Tear" tore through the arena the crowd jumped to their feet! Vita makes her way down to the ring, slapping hands with her fans along the way. Vita then slides into the ring and postures for the crowd as her music dies down.
(Long live the reckless and the brave
I don't think I wanna be saved
My song has not been sung
So long live us)
As the music kicks in, Sierra bursts through the curtain with all the energy in the world and a huge smile on her face. She runs over to the edge of the stage and pointing her Minecraft diamond sword prop out into the crowd before returning to the top of ramp and striking a "supervillain" pose. She poses for a few seconds before taking a running start down the ramp, high fiving everyone she can on the way down, going around the ring and back up the other side of the ramo before stopping herself at the top, turning, and skipping down and sliding into the ring under the bottom rope. Behind her, Johnny Hitmaker slowly follows.
(Breaking out of a town called Suburbia
I remember everybody always saying
"Little brat must be crazy
Never make it in our vicious little world"
Still I'm leaving)
Sierra jumps up onto the turnbuckle and points her sword into the air, repeating the process for each corner before jumping down and running laps around the ring before coming to a stop with a hop in her corner, bouncing on her toes and heels as she awaits the beginning of the match and Hitmaker stands outside the ring clapping for her.
Vita and Sierra nod at each other but both seem wary of the other just the same.
Oliver Peters comes out from the back alone and starts to walk to the ring… but then he stops and looks back at the curtain, and a new partner walks out! It’s “Wild Card” Matt Kayden! Another member of the United Elite!
Together, Kayden and Peters head to the ring looking confident. They head for their corner and talk some smack in the direction of Vita and Sierra. Sierra has to hold Vita back from running across the ring at them before the match officially starts.
DING!
Vita starts things off for her team against Matt Kayden, both newcomers to the Madness ring. Vita takes control right off the bat with high velocity, high energy attacks. A spinning heel kick and several arm drags end up getting Kayden in enough of a compromising position that he grabs the rope to stop himself from rebounding on an Irish whip and powders out. Kayden tags Oliver Peters in and Peters slows down the pace.
With Peters using a more reserved and calculated approach, he’s able to subdue Vita Valenteen with catch as catch can maneuvers. When Valenteen misses a big kick, Peters is right there to lay into her with a barrage of elbow strikes, and then he locks in an arm-trap sleeper hold! The Ocean Avenue! Vita is in trouble but she manages to run backward enough to drive Peters into her home corner, shaking the hold loose and getting a tag from Sierra Silver, who hops into the ring to a big pop from the crowd.
Silver quickly gets the momentum back on her team’s side with an up-tempo assault full of body presses and flying back elbows. Silver hits a springboard dropkick on Peters and has him out of sorts long enough to head up top and go for the Silver Sun Rising! But Peters gets his knees up and makes a tag to Kayden while Silver winces and holds her neck.
Matt Kayden puts the screws to Sierra Silver, really grinding into her with nerve holds, muscle stretches, and limb manipulation. Silver is on defense while Kayden and Peters take turns tagging in and pummeling her into the mat with slams and throws. Silver keeps attempting to get to her corner for a tag but gets cut off every time. When Sierra heads that way one more time, Oliver Peters snares her in a rolling kneebar takedown! The KILL!
Sierra strains but can’t free herself and Vita has seen enough, racing into the ring to break things up. The ref forces Vita back out and it gives Matt Kayden and Peters a chance to double team Sierra Silver, hitting a total elimination on her before Kayden exits the ring and Peters goes for a cover, getting a nearfall before Silver kicks out at two.
Peters knows he’s got Silver right where he wants her and hits the ropes, coming off for Neurotoxin One… but Silver catches him with a surprise GREENHEART! Peters is knocked for a loop and Sierra Silver has a chance finally to crawl to her corner, getting the tag made right before Peters can jump over and stop her.
Vita Valenteen is a house afire when she enters the ring and she repeatedly drops Peters with kicks and chops that get him set into a corner for her to drive her knees into him with a running start. Peters is rocked and when he stumbles out from the corner Vita nails him with a CANADIAN DESTROYER! Vita makes the cover and gets a two, this time it’s Matt Kayden who breaks things up! And he does so violently, pulling Vita off of Peters and drilling her with a huge DDT!
Sierra cheers Vita on but Peters hits the ropes in her corner and knocks her off of the apron, sending her crashing into the railing as Vita slowly gets to her feet… NEUROTOXIN ONE! The lights go out for Vita Valenteen and Oliver Peters folds her up for the 1-2-3!
WINNERS - TEAM KTFO
(Match Time 11:36)
That was one heck of a match, Bath, and it looks like Team KTFO is still in good shape with Matt Kayden standing in for Kai Morgan!
They call him the Wild Card for a reason, Jacuinde, and he proved tonight that he is up for the task. You know who ELSE is up for the task? Elijah Copeland. Tonight he’s going go right a wrong and prove he should be next in line for the IDL Championship opportunity that Vinnie Lane handed to Lexi Gold on a silver platter!
Lane’s choice was a controversial one but one thing is for sure, whoever walks out of the IDL Title match tonight with the gold is going to face off against either Elijah Copeland or Molly Barnes… because they’re settling the score live next!
Molly’s win was a fluke last time. A complete miscarriage of justice. Elijah Copeland is a THOROUGHBRED just like his pals in the UE. But I know what we’re in store for before that goes down… a crazy school bus death match!!
You’ve got that right! We’ll head out to the cliffs of Auckland for that right after some words from the roster!
Backstage as the show was winding down, people were frantically moving about through the hallways. Wrestlers were tired after winning or losing their matches. Staff members just wanted the busy day to be over.
Josslynn Spencer: "Where are you going?!"
From around a corner down at the end of the hallway comes Jason Cashe followed by his girlfriend and the newest member of the Madness Roster, Josslynn Spencer. Cashe had determination written on his face, not literally but in the emotional sense. He was hunting something or someone. Any sound of music or background noise that caught his attention, Cashe shoulder into the room it was coming from.
Josslynn Spencer: "Do you really think they will just be out in the open?"
She knew who he was looking for. If you had seen Anarchy, you, as the viewer would know as well. Da Bing Bong Twinzz.
Jason Cashe: "They better be hiding.. Hiding and praying that I don't find them!"
Charging out into the fan area where concessions were set up as well as a few tables for post show autograph signings. From left to right and right to left, Cashe scanned the area which wasn't super busy but it surely wasn't empty either. Most could watch the show back here on the large screens plastered along the walls.
Josslynn Spencer: "Think they would hide in the Port-A-Potty again?"
Jason Cashe: "Let's find out.."
When he said let's find out, he sounded a lot like Owl in the Tootsie Roll Commercial. Coincidence was that there were three Port-A-Potties standing side by side at the back of the open area.
Jason Cashe: "I give them credit.. See, I've lumped up a few at random locations. Caught Wraith, Tara's son a few times and that Momma's Boy ain't done shit to retaliate. But these guys?"
Pointing at the Port-A-Potties as if that's where they actually were.
Jason Cashe: "They at least clapped back! They might have placed their health at risk but you gotta give them some credit.. Know what though? Psssh! We can credit them AFTER they come up missing!"
Stepping in front of the first Portable Toilet, Jason Cashe rips the door open! The cheap ass lock wouldn't really stop a child.
Josslynn Spencer: "JASON!!"
It was occupied. A rather large man with his pants around his ankles and by the fumes that slapped Cashe to the face, he was busy and in mid grunt. Cashe yanks the man off the crapper and throws him out of the Port-A-Potty. Everyone in the area turns and gasps as the man's bare white and hairy ass sits bare for all to see.
Jason Cashe: "Nope, not in this one!"
He moves to the second one, the one in the middle.
Jason Cashe: "What's behind door number two?"
It was unlocked. Unoccupied. Third times the charm? He asks himself in his head but now he has an audience. Voices of many who were whispering amongst themselves about what was going on. One person shouts 'Cocaine is a Hell of a Drug!' and that got some laughs. Even Cashe had a grin on his face as he stared at the third Port-A-Potty. It was as if he KNEW they were inside this one and he could see them cowering together, shivering as he stood outside about to ruin their evening.
Josslynn Spencer: "Damnit Jason! I'm pretty sure someone contacted management. They might have called the Cops!!"
Josslynn sighs and adds.
Josslynn Spencer: "I haven't even had a match here yet… We need to get out of here! NOW!"
Jason Cashe: "You're right.."
Sliding into the third Port-A-Potty. You can see the red marker to show that someone was inside. Cashe hugs against the whole unit and begins to growl. More laughter from the crowd but from inside the portable john, there was screaming and hollering. It sounded like a woman but to Cashe, that was exactly how Da Bing Bong Twinzz would sound. Finally it tips over and Cashe jumps out of the way as blue water begins leaking out from the side. The sloshing was as gross as the eventual smell that started to emerge.
Slapping the side of the portable bathroom, Cashe leans in a bend and yells to who he believes is inside.
Jason Cashe: "You comfortable motherfuckers?!"
Through crying tears, you only hear the muffled whimper of the person inside. The door shoves open and out crawls someone's Grandmother.. Cashe wasn't sure whose Grandmother she was but she was old as shit so he assumed she was a Grandmother. The crowd again gasps and some start ridiculing Cashe for doing that to a poor old lady. A few men rush into the scene to help her but she was covered in blue water with dark spots and wet toilet paper stuck to her.
Nodding, Cashe turns to Josslynn.
Jason Cashe: "Yeah, we should definitely get out of here now…"
Josslynn Spencer: "Let's not get arrested in New Zealand, ok?"
Jason Cashe: "Yeah, I'll catch them next time. We're going home!"
He takes her hand and the two rush back through the door from which they came as a crowd gathers to help those Cashe embarrassed/offended/hurt.
[mad]DEATHMATCH DIVISION
THE SECOND XWF MADNESS LORD OF VIOLENCE MATCH...
OUT OF CONTROL SCHOOL BUS DEMOLITION DERBY!
DEAN ROSE
HIDE YAMAZAKI
THRAX
JACKI O'LANTERN
DARREN DANGEROUS
OLIVER TAYLOR[/mad]
Engines rev in the suped-up school buses of death as our competitors sit behind the wheels and prepare for some destruction derby Madness! Chubby Gravy is standing in the middle of the track/arena and wearing full protective gear that includes shoulder pads and a football helmet. Micheal waves the green Madness flag to start this "match" and all of the busses kick it into high gear as this contest comes underway! Hide Yamazaki instigates the first crash as he crashes right into Jacki O'Lantern's bus before greeting her with a smile and a wave! Jacki floors it as does Hide, and the two are fighting over dominance when Darren Dangerous sets his sights on the two gridlocked busses! Darren honks the horn as he revs his engine!
*HONK*
*HOOOOONK*
Darren releases the break and kicks it into high gear with his sights set on disrupting the battle between Hide and Jacki, BUT Dean Rose has OTHER plans and intercepts Darren, crashing into the side of his bus and tearing it right in two as he drives through it! Darren steps out onto the field looking pissed as he slams his driving gloves onto the ground, but Dean isn't done yet! Still behind the wheel of the great big bus, Dean Rose aims to run Darren down! Darren takes off running as Dean closes in! Darren dives out of the way just in the nick of time. Dean's turning around for a second approach when Darren throws in the towel and runs for the hills!
ELIMINATED - DARREN DANGEROUS!
Dean pumps his fist in victory then tries to remember his Twitter password so that he can brag about getting the first elimination, but as he fiddles with the password recovery system Thrax crashes into him head on, but while the crash causes tons of physical damage to the front of Dean's bus, the engine on Thrax's stalls and begins to smoke! Not to be detoured, Thrax climbs to the top of his bus and leaps over to the hood of Deans just as Dean is starting to back away from the wreckage! Thrax pounds on the windshield, trying to break the glass as Dean begins to pick up speed, but everything going on here is undone when Oliver Taylor runs into the side of Dean's bus so hard that it flips it over on its side. Thrax is sent flying into the dirt and looks as though he may have broken his neck in the sick landing. After a moment of nonmovement on Thrax's part, Gravy calls for his elimination!
ELIMINATED - THRAX!
Jacki and Hide are burning rubber in a battle for dominance as they continue to fight for position, that is until Oliver Taylor sets his sights on them! Oliver races his bus across the field, aiming to break through the gridlock of Hide and Jacki's struggle for dominance. However, both see him coming and kick their buses into reverse in just the nick of time as Oliver races right past them and slams the breaks at the sight of a huge cliff! Despite Oliver's best efforts, the bus goes halfway over the cliff and teeters as Oliver carefully tries to make an exit.
Hide and Jacki crash into one another again and kick up dirt as they both accelerate and push against the other. Hide and Jacki's engines both begin to smoke, but neither is willing to let off.
Oliver makes it safely to the back of the bus. He opens the emergency door to hop out, but who's there but Dean Rose with a shovel he found somewhere! Dean smashes Oliver in the face with the shovel and Oliver falls back into the bus, sending it off balance and crashing about 40 feet below!
ELIMINATED - OLIVER TAYLOR!
Dean turns his attention to the final two buses. Hide and Jacki have broken apart and are now driving circles ramping into each other. Both of their busses look to be on their last legs. The final collision between the two seems to do Jacki's bus in as it refuses to start. While she fiddles with the ignition, Hide lines up and smashes into the side of her bus, bending it into a slight V shape. Gears grind and black smoke pours from the engine as Hide backs it up for a second shot. Once satisfied with the distance between him and Jacki, Hide fights with the clutch to get back into drive. This distraction allows Dean Rose to enter the structurally compromised bus where he smashes an elbow into Hide before ripping him from the driver's seat and tossing him out the side door! Dean takes a moment to take a selfie before pursuing Hide. Once outside of the bus, Dean is confused as to where Hide went, that is until he lets out a war cry, causing Dean to look up just as he leaps off of the top of the bus and connects with the Hierophant knee drop! Dean drops like a sack of potatoes and Hide jumps to hit feet celebrating his victory!
ELIMINATED - DEAN ROSE!
Down to the final two, Jacki limps out of her busted bus clutching her ribs. Her and Hide lock eyes from 50 paces. Hide motions for her to make her move. Jacki nods and the two walk towards each other in what looks like an old samurai showdown! The two meet in the middle and begin trading strikes! This is a replay from last month as neither competitor is willing to give an inch! Hide catches Jacki with a surprise dropkick that takes her legs out from under her. He's quick on the offense looking to hook her into a Boston crab, but Jacki still has some fight in her and kicks him off, allowing her to regain her verticle base. The two immediately lock up, both struggling to gain an upper hand in the grapple. Jacki catches Hide with a knee to the midsection and quickly follows up with a DDT! Hide doesn't stay down for long, but Jacki doesn't give him a moment to regain his footing before rushing in with a series of strikes that keep Hide off balance before ending the combination with a spinning back fist that staggers him down to a knee. Jacki grabs Hide and pulls him into position, but Hide explodes to life, grabbing Jacki's arm and spinning under it before lifting her up into a high angle slam!
THE DEVIL!!!
Hide steps away as Gravy begins to 10 count. To everyone's surprise, Jacki is on her feet by 9, barely. Hide starts to move in, but Gravy gets in his way, ordering him to give her some space. Gravy checks on Jacki and asks if she can continue. She nods, but Gravy doesn't seem convinced and he asks her again if she's sure. Hide doesn't wait for the answer before shoving Gravy out of the way, but Jacki catches him with a kick to the nads! Hide doubles over and Jacki shoves his head between her legs and locks her arms between his and connecting with her patented piledriver that she calls "No Fucks Given"! Jacki winces with each move, but she doesn't waste any time climbing on top of Hide and looking to lock in The Darkest Hour! Hide doesn't have the wherewithal to try and prevent Jacki from locking in the chicken wing facelock, and once she wraps her legs around his waist, he has no way to escape, and passes out in her grip!
ELIMINATED - HIDE YAMAZAKI
Jacki lays on the ground beside Hide, absolutely exhausted. Gravy comes over to help her up and present her with her prize for the night!
She seems ecstatic at the 2/3 scare baseball bat...
WINNER - JACKI O'LANTERN
(Match Time - 20:00)
Well that was probably the most terrifying thing I’ve ever seen… I can’t believe any of those folks are even alive! Congrats to Jacki O’Lantern on becoming the second EVER Madness Lord of Violence!
That was definitely MADNESS, Jacuinde! You can’t miss a minute of action on this show, ladies and gents, because we are bringing you absolute insanity in this division!
Next up is the number one contender’s match. Elijah Copeland gets another crack at the girl who took him out of the tournament last month, Molly Barnes!
Copeland has been obsessing over getting this win back, Jac, I’m looking forward to how he makes it happen!
VS.
The camera pans around the sanatorium battle zone. Just then there was black, gold, and white flickering as "Breaking Through" by the Wreckage hits the speakers in the arena.
♪ Sever every tie
Untangle every lie
Your words don't mean anything anymore, no
Never satisfied ♪
Just then Elijah is seen coming through the Curtains and the fans begins to boo. He is seen wearing a black muscle shirt with "The Copeland Era" written on the front, black and gold trunks with Copeland written on the back in gold, black knee pads, black and gold boots, white wrapped up hand on his left hand, black wrist tape on his left, black dog tag with "Elijah Copeland" written in it, and a black sweatband up his arms with "Copeland" written in gold. He put his wrist together and gets a huge smirk on his face. He looks around and nodes.
♪ But I won't compromise myself for you
Anymore anymore, no
You're so complicated
I'm so over it ♪
He starts walking down the ramp as the fans continue to shower his boos. He stops and looks at the crowd and giving off a slight smirk and laughs as their misfortunes. He bad mouth the fans before getting down to the ringside and stopping on the ringside mat. He walks towards the steel steps and breathes in.
♪ Don't tell me everything is all right
(I know you know)
Don't tell me how to live my life
I'm breaking through tonight ♪
He slaps the steps a few times before walking up them. He walks alongside the edge of the ring. He enters it and walks towards the turnbuckle.
♪ You can crash and burn this time
As I leave it all behind
These scars won't breathe anymore anymore, no
Sounds like goodbye ♪
He looks at the fans as he slowly takes off his shirt and throws it to the outside. He points at the fans before getting down and moves to the corner. He then waits for his opponent.
DING!
Some good back and forth commences at the start with Copeland seemingly a little reticent to get caught again like he did in their previous meeting. With him being a bit more reluctant, Molly is able to dictate the pace in the early goings of the match and keep Elijah Copeland grounded for the most part with different wear-down holds and takedowns.
Copeland is able to break out of an abdominal stretch with a hard elbow strike to Molly Barnes’ ribs, and after flipping her forward with a hip toss he rattles her spine with a hard kick. After following up with a drop kick to the back of her head, Copeland starts laying in a series of impact strikes to wear Barnes down. Standing kicks to Molly’s thighs and calves get her wobbled, and Copeland makes the first attempt at a cover in the match after a snap DDT, but only gets a count of two before Barnes pops her shoulder off the mat.
Copeland stays in control throughout the middle portion of the contest with a series of suplexes and throws, each of which knocks the wind out of Barnes and leads to a pinning attempt from Copeland, but Barnes muscles out of every one of them. Copeland seems pleased by each kickout, seemingly having only attempted them to force Barnes to use up energy.
After several minutes of Barnes being ground into the mat by Copeland, she catches him out of the blue with a MUGSHOT running headbutt! Copeland is seeing stars and practically out on his feet at that time, and Barnes goes on a desperate offensive, fired up with a second wind. She snares Copeland in a series of vertical suplexes in a row, the Three Mates! A cover attempt from Molly Barnes gets two and a half, but Copeland rolls his shoulder up just in time to save himself from a loss.
Barnes tries to go for a German suplex but Copeland reverses the waistlock and instead sends Barnes flying with a release German of his own. This has both wrestlers down for a little bit, each catching their breath as the ref starts a ten count. As they each get up, both manage to avoid strikes from the other before Copeland lands a superkick that has Molly’s eyes rolled back.
Copeland lifts Barnes up for his patented Philly Special, but Barnes sends a knee strike downward into his head and forces a break. The Salford Supernova then scoops Elijah Copeland up for the BARNESTORMER!!!
Copeland wriggles free and lands behind Barnes!
MONEY MAKER!!! And he makes a quick cover for the 1-2-3!
WINNER - ELIJAH COPELAND
(Match Time 15:44)
We’ve got a new number one contender just like that![yellow]
What did I tell you, Jacuinde? Molly was in over her head. She isn’t on the same level as Elijah Copeland! Nobody is, except for maybe the champ, Chris Mosh. That’s going to be a STELLAR match!
[yellow]I agree with you, Bath, but first things first… Chris Mosh will have to retain his title in tonight’s main event!!
He’s got it in the bag…
This promotional video is paid for by the Ga(y)la Foundation
And NOT the Royalty of the Ring (YES VINNIE #ITSCANON FIX IT ALREADY)
But THE #1 Tournament in the HISTORY of tournaments!
Mama Tournament’s own….
PLUMP PIGEON TOURNAMENT
#Sar1Classic
THIS Thursday night….LIVE from-
……what the……
RHODE ISLAND?!
What the FUCK is with you VINNIE?! GODDAMNITOMGHATEUSOMUCH
………………..
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SEE! The Big Double V fight the #HotBoi in a cape!
SEE! The LAMEST match there could possibly be with Barndoor against Generic Everything!
SEE! Tommy Wish lose to my (non-spouse, non-blood-family) bestie Ruby!
SEE! Ruby’s undead zombie boyfriend get an automatic 2 points (#YoureWelcome)
SEE! The dude with the, like, 5th place XWF manager fight that 4CW dude
SEE! My ward, my padawan, with the WORST taste in…well…can’t exactly call Corey a MAN…so…um…worst taste in somewhere in between…fight…um…someone I didn’t approve of being in my tourney? GODDAMNITVINNIE
.....................................
And in the MAIN EVENT of the evening!
SEE! Three n00bs go at it to determine the next person to lose to Elijah.
Tune in on Thursday for all this….AND MORE! And remember, keep your….
EYES
ON
ANARCHY!
Wow, don’t miss ANARCHY this Thursday Night! I’d hate to have Sarah Lacklan mad at me!
Don’t be chicken, Jacuinde, she’s a shrimp. Let’s just focus on the big match next…
Yes indeed! A fatal fourway to set up the Gemini Titles match! We already know Team KTFO will be one of the competitors… but tonight we find the second! Let’s get to it!
VS. VS. VS.
In unison with the music the arena goes to a dark blue haze and strobes in time with the beat. Smoke fills the stage and lifting from beneath, Desdemona and Agrippina slowly appear with their backs turned. They both pause momentarily before turning and making their way to the ring all business.
Da Bing Bong Twinzz bust out that back stage bitch like WTF and perp slash pimp walk to the RANG. You feel me?
Ikura ikura ikura ore no kachi wa ikura!
Run it up, run it up, run it up, run it up, run it up, run it up!
Ikura ikura ikura ore no kachi wa ikura!
Run it up, run it up, run it up, run it up, run it up, run it up!
ANARCHY's "Run It Up" comes on over the PA system as the arena lights dim down, bringing all attention to the lighting on and around the stage. Everyone’s attention is on the entrance curtain when, all of a sudden, an air horn like the one heard from a fire engine BLASTS through the arena. From the side of the stage, a tricked out RV painted white with neon blue accents rolls up. As the opening refrain with Skits Vicious begins, theside door flies open and out comes the 2 Broke Chicks. In name only, of course! There’s some visible laughs of amusement as Jane then turns towards the stage and tries to look serious as she approaches the ramp. On the opposite side of the mood spectrum, Chiaki Sanada gives their ride an adoring pat before scurrying to catch up with her tag team partner.
As the two make their way down the ramp, Jane’s attempt to stay serious is all but lost once Chiaki moves in front of her, just goofing off and throwing random signs at the camera in sync with their music. As the chorus plays, Chiaki starts singing along. The strength of the duo finally breaks into laughter at the little one’s antics and the pair continue towards the ring. Once they reach ringside, Jane comes in behind Chiaki and lifts the crazy little Joshi up onto her shoulders. She makes a lap around the ring itself while Chiaki’s waving her arms from side to side over her head, trying to get the fans to join in. They do, for the most part. Chiaki hops off of Jane’s shoulders and onto the apron. She’s back to throwing thuggish little hand signals as Jane climbs onto the apron. Jane climbs into the ring and stands behind Chiaki who is still doing her thing as they both throw up their actual, personal team gesture. Chiaki finally gets into the ring and the two of them move to their corner, removing their entrance gear and getting in a bit of last minute extra stretching as they get ready for their match.
Claire Rogers and Ximena Asensio walk out onto the stage, flexing and posing for the fans. Claire laughs and waves at Jacuinde, who buries his face in his arms trying to hide from her. Together, the BGTL ladies march to the ring in unison, then both break into a run halfway down the ramp and slide into the ring in tandem!
Claire and Xim exchange high tens and then prepare for the match to begin.
DING!
The action is immediately intense as all four teams clash right after the bell. The official manages to pry people apart and get one member of each team to step out onto the apron in their corner, and in the ring we’re left with Jane Harper, Li’l Ca$h-App, Claire Rogers, and Desdemona Themis.
Everyone gets the same idea right from the get go and all three women attack the Bing Bong Twin, beating him down in a corner and finally dumping him out to the floor below. Claire immediately pretends to give Jane Harper a high five and then clobbers her in the face instead, then drops Desdemona with a running clothesline. Themis is dragged out under the bottom rope by Ca$h-App, and Harper and Rogers square up in the middle of the ring.
The two women throw a flurry of punches to the crowd’s delight, and although Claire clearly has the strength advantage it’s Jane who weathers the storm and changes levels enough to keep in the game. Claire gasses herself out throwing heavy bombs and Harper shoves her into a corner, then hits a devastating spinning back fist that leaves Rogers hanging off the ropes.
Outside, Desdemona is sent into the guard rail and then the ring steps by Billyunnai$$e, and it leads to MC C-Munqqquee leaping from his corner to double team Desdemona with a flying lariat. Agrippina rushes to her side and force feeds the ring apron to Ca$h-App, and then when C-Munqqquee jumps at her she ally-oops him into the waiting arms of Desdemona for GREEKS BEARING GIFTS on the concrete floor!
Harper tags in Sanada and she bounces across the ring like a superball, firing into Claire’s chest like she was fired from a cannon in an impressive aerial display that nearly tosses Claire’s lunch out onto the mat - but Chi Chi goes to the well once too many times and tries to repeat the move only to get caught by Rogers! Claire hefts her upward and drops her across her knee with a gutbuster that nearly pops Chi Chi’s eyes out of her skull.
Claire tags Ximena in and the two statuesque women spend a few seconds wearing Sanada down with double team wishbones and a scary double wheelbarrow suplex into a corner. Ximena looks for a cover but the game Sanada simply refuses to stay down for even a two count, and when Ximena thinks about pulling Chi Chi up she’s caught off guard by a running boot to the face from Desdemona Themis.
Des tags in Agrippina and then hip tosses Ximena into the turnbuckles - and Agrippina finishes the double team with a running dropkick to the face! The Artemis Arrows! Desdemona points at Sanada squirming on the mat behind her and Agrippina runs and get launched up and over Desdemona in a GREEK CATAPULT! Agrippina hooks a leg on Chi Chi as Desdemona leaves the ring, but both Claire Rogers and Jane Harper rush the ring to break it up before a one count!
Claire and Jane nod to each other and this time Jane looks for a handshake and Claire decides to go ahead and give it to her… and Jane drills her with a ripcord knee! Claire rolls out to the floor as the ref makes Jane go back to her corner, and Li’l Ca$h-App sneaks onto Chi Chi with a pin for two before Ximena Asensio drops a leg on the back of his neck and breaks it up.
Ximena yanks Ca$h-App up and drapes him over her shoulders, then twirls him in an airplane spin. Halfway through she gorilla presses him up and off and he helicopters through the air into a clumsy spinning splash on Agrippina Themis. Themis and Ca$h-App are shoved out to the floor under the bottom rope by Ximena, and then she turns to come face to face with Chi Chi… and gets a face full of CRIMSON MIST! It’s actually just Red Bull. Not sure when she chugged it but it has given her wings!
Ximena lurches toward Sanada but gets tripped up in a drop toe hold, with Chi Chi getting on her back and raining down punches to her medulla oblongata. Chi Chi shrieks in excitement as she gets up and hits a standing moonsault, driving her knees right into Ximena’s torso! Chi Chi heads to the top rope then and flies off with a falling headbutt! She might have landed it too well, though, because she ends up muttering and grabbing at her own skull while kicking her feet in pain.
Ximena manages to get to Claire and make a tag while Chi Chi recovers and tags in Jane as well. Desdemona Themis gets tagged in, and the three women meet in the middle of the ring for some jaw jacking. They get nose to nose to nose and then Claire freezes and her eyes pop open wide, followed by the same thing happening to Desdemona. They turn their heads and look to see Li’l Ca$h-App standing there with one hand on each of their butts, squeezing gently.
Claire turns to clobber Ca$h-App but Harper takes advantage by grabbing Rogers onto her shoulders and driving her into the mat with the CHA CHING DVD! Agrippina charges the ring and chop blocks Jane Harper while Desdemona absolutely wrecks Cas$h-App with a JUDGEMENT OF PARIS knee strike.
Desdemona and Agrippina each grab Ca$h-App and twist him up into the air, driving him hard down into the canvas with their devastating LOVE & HATE DRIVER! But before Des can make a cover, she and Agrippina are both dumped from the ring by Chi Chi and Jane Harper! Jane hooks Ca$h-App’s leg in a lateral press as Chi Chi spears Ximena Asensio, cutting her off from interfering, and Harper scores the 1-2-3!
WINNERS - 2BROKECHICKS
(Match Time 14:56)
Incredible! It’s going to be 2BrokeChicks against Team KTFO for the right to call themselves the first ever Madness Gemini Champions![yellow]
That’s going to be a good one, Jacuinde, and I honestly can’t tell you who will walk away with the belts. Both teams have shown amazing versatility and capability. All I know is that the FANS are winning that one!
[yellow]Agreed one hundred percent… but Bath, are you ready for tonight’s main event? Chris Mosh and Lexi Gold, for the IDL Championship?
I’ve been ready for WEEKS! And I know both Mosh and Gold have been as well. What a main event!
Well it’s happening RIGHT AFTER THIS!
*V.I.P by Manic Drive ft Manwell, hit as “The V.I.P” Chris Mosh walks out with a white and baby blue three-piece suit. Chris stands at the top of the ramp as he then opens up his suit jacket to show the IDL Championship. Chris smirks as he walks down the ramp, which has a red carpet all the way down it. Chris gets to the bottom of the ramp as there is a bouncer standing there holding back people but lets Chris through. Chris walks over to the steps as he winks at a few of the women in the front row, and then climbs the steps. Chris wipes his white dress shoes before stepping into the ring. Chris unstraps the title and holds it up over his head as he smirks then winks at the camera. He puts the title over his shoulder as he walks over and gets a mic. Chris picks the mic up to his lips as the fans are booing him*
Mosh: you know I’m your champion
*Fans boo louder*
Mosh: I can stand here all day, since I’m the reason you are all here right now
*Fans start chanting you suck, you suck as Chris smirks*
Mosh: Really, but that is why I stand here as the IDL Champion. This is why we are in a V.I.P Celebration. See, I got the bouncers here so only V.I.P guests and people on the list can get in, so you won’t see Molly Barnes.
*Fans Cheer*
Mosh: You won’t see the like of Sierra Silvers
*Fans Cheer even louder*
Mosh: Well too bad you won’t see them because they are losers just like the number one person who will never be on the V.I.P list, she does have something going on with the boss which is the reason why she is here tonight, but I’m going to end it here tonight because once I’m down with her, she will never be in a main event in madness again. That person is Lexi Gold.
*Fans go nuts when Chris mentions her name*
Mosh: of course you all cheer for a loser like that. She lost and somehow, well, we actually know how she got this title match. I mean, you don’t have a fun time with the boss to get a bye and then a title match.
*Chris Mosh smirks as he puts the mic down. Lexi’s music hits and he gets angry over this*
“5 out of 6” hits and the crowd cheers as The Golden Goddess Lexi Gold steps out from behind the curtain and walks down the stage and eyes on Mosh in the ring as she does so. Since it was such a special occasion, Lexi decided to wear a beautiful rhinestone cami dress and matching heels. She eventually found her way up the stairs and got into the ring through the bottom rope, then grabbed a microphone and waited for her music to die before speaking as she stood across the ring from him.
LEXI GOLD: “Hey, champ. You got a lot of nerve to drag my name through the mud and not expect me to come out and defend myself. I sure as hell wasn't going to sit backstage and allow you to spill your nonsense. We get it. You are the champion now, but you should recheck your ego and stop treating people as if they are below you.”
The crowd continues to cheer, agreeing with what Lexi just said.
*rolls his eyes*
Mosh: Why are you out here during my celebration? This is all about me, not you or anyone else and everyone is below me, I mean look at me and look at your cheap goodwill dress. Look at my real gold to your fool’s gold. My diamonds to your cubic zirconia. Look at this title over my shoulder and…
*Chris laughs*
Mosh: Oh yeah, that’s right, you don’t have one because you lost to me. These people pay to see the champion, not some losers, so get out of my ring before I get these people to take you out of my ring.
She turns her head and looks at the bouncer at ringside, then back at Mosh and grins, showing no intimidation whatsoever.
LEXI GOLD: “You can compare me to you all you want, but let's face it, sweetheart, nobody but the people kissing your ass wants to see you as a champion. You degrade it. Just like you degrade this company when you walk through the doors, so tonight it is going to be my pleasure kicking your ass, winning the gold and putting some respect and honor into the IDL championship. Something that should have happened on that island.”
*Chris calls the Bouncer into the ring as he smirks*
Mosh: Honey, you said you were going to do that during the tournament but did that happen? No it didn’t happen because I beat you, I won the IDL Championship, which I actually fought for, I didn’t do anything that would disgrace this title, and you say I’m degrading this company well we will see how much that is when you become the disgrace of the company, when I beat you a second time. Now get her out of my ring.
*Chris points at Lexi as the bouncer puts himself between the two of them and kindly ask Lexi to leave*
Lexi doesn't approve of the bouncer touching her, so out of anger she knees him in the nuts and while he is down on the ground, she gives him a few extra punches for good measure. Then she turns around to do the same to Mosh, but he slides under the ring with his title, not wanting any part of that. The crowd boos his cowardly act. He quickly scurries away and eventually backpedals up the ramp. Meanwhile, Lexi leans against the ropes and watches him, inviting him to reenter the ring, but he refuses and instead leaves to the back while she is left shaking her head. The scene then fades.
VS.
“5 out of 6” by Dessa plays and Lexi Gold appears from behind the curtain to a chorus of cheers from the crowd. She slowly makes her way down the ramp and gazes out on the jam packed arena before she runs forward to fans at ringside and claps their hands. The Golden Goddess then makes her way up the steps and goes through the bottom rope and poses a bit before she makes her way toward the center for another pose. She then backs into her corner and stares the referee down
“The VIP” Chris Mosh walks out slowly with a smirk on his face and the Madness IDL Championship on his shoulder. Halfway down to the ring he finds a fan with a Lexi Gold poster and grabs it from him, then pulls out a marker and autographs it himself before handing it back.
Mosh makes his way to the ring, pointing at Lexi and laughing as he moves. He then climbs into the ring and hands off his gold belt to the official before he goes to his corner, waiting for the match to get started.
DING!
Mosh is all over Lexi as soon as the bell rings. He unloads on Lexi with hard rights and lefts. Talented in her own right, however, Lexi tries to fight back but it’s to no avail as Chris wraps her up and hits a quick snap suplex! Lexi favors her lower back as Chris guides her to her feet. Chris whips her towards the ropes and looks to step in for a belly-to-belly on the rebound, but Lexi springboards back catching Mosh with a cutter from outta nowhere that brings the crowd to life! Mosh is definitely dazed by the maneuver and it shows as he staggers to his feet and right into a shotgun dropkick! Lexi plays to the crowd for a moment before going back on the pursuit. Lexi fights Mosh into the corner where she holds him with a cornered foot choke! The referee warns her to break the illegal hold, but she resists until the two count! Lexi pulls Chris out of the corner and uses a waist lock to transition behind him before she slams him down to the mat with a high-angle belly-to-back suplex! Lexi grabs Mosh’s foot and looks to apply the modified inverted reverse figure four leglock, but Chris comes to life, kicking her off before she could set it up! Mosh slaps the mat before pushing up to his feet. Lexi hits the ropes and flies through the air with a picture-perfect crossbody, but Chris catches her right out of the air and paces the ring shaking his head with a cocky grin before repositioning her in his arms and snapping back with a powerful belly to belly suplex!
The boos reign down heavily for Mosh as he locks in a side headlock and brings the pace of the match down to a crawl! Lexi counters, rolling back and breaking free of his grip. Lexi then keeps Chris off balance with quick in and out shots allowing her to set up and successfully hit her trademark half-nelson electric chair driver! The crowd is on their feet as Lexi looks to Strike gold here on Madness! Chris pushes up from the mat to a kneeling position and Lexi takes that as her cue, knocking him back to the mat with a step-up axe kick, but Chris roles out, dodging the blow as Lexi whizzes by him! Lexi quickly recovers and turns right into a superkick! Chris is quick to cover, but Lexi gets the shoulder up at two! Mosh isn’t deterred and pulls the dazed Lexi off of the mat and tucks her head under his arm. The crowd boo as he signals for the Moshplex, but those boos quickly turn to Lexi chants as she fires off with shots to the midsection, breaking free of Mosh and taking him down with a second shotgun dropkick!
Mosh is noticeably slower getting to his feet than the last time and he’s also not ready for the jumping DDT that plants his head into the mat at a sicking angle! Lexi hooks the leg and can’t believe it when Mosh kicks out at just as she thought she had the three! Frustrated, Lexi whips Mosh north as she runs east, when they meet in the middle, Mosh catches her arm and twists her up face down over his back with her arms locked with his at the elbow. He stalls for a moment as the crowd showers him with boos. Lexi struggles against him, but Chris drops down, spiking her head to the mat! Mosh hooks the leg as the official counts the three!
WINNER - CHRIS MOSH
(Match Time 10:44)
After the match, Elijah Copeland walks out onto the ramp with a grin on his face, staring right at Chris Mosh as he celebrates with his title.
Well there you have it everyone! Chris Mosh is still your IDL Champion!
I never had a doubt! But it looks like Elijah Copeland is ready for his shot at a moment’s notice!
Well he’s gonna have to wait, Bath, just like the rest of us! That’s all the time we have for you folks! See you next time on MADNESS!
Good! Freaking! Night!
Madness fades out on a shot of Elijah and Mosh staring each other down.
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