The scene opens with a shot of Demos and Charlie Dimes standing next to each other in front of a metal table. Dimes is still dressed in his tye dye jumpsuit while Demos has changed back into his normal ‘business’ garb, a loose white dress shirt and brown slacks. In front of Demos and Dimes are headshots of every participant of the Doc’s invitational. Demos turns to Dimes as he sizes the man up.


“Are you ready for this mission? The fate of the whole world hangs in the balance.”


“Well I don’t want to be fucking put to death, playa, so I guess I gotta be fucking ready, huh?!”


The frustration boiling inside of Charlie’s blood was evident to the Demos.


“As long as you recognize that you don’t have a choice but to succeed in this war, we should get along just fine.”


Dimes sneered at Demos as the man pointed to one of the photographs laid out on the table. The cracked nail of the Demos made contact with the printed representation of Robert Main’s face.


“He is your primary target. I am sure you already suspected as much.”



Dimes squinted at the photograph. He leaned over the table for a better view. He stared at the man’s face for a few seconds before standing straight and turning his gaze back upon the Demos.


“I have no idea who that is.”


“Dimes, this is no time for your jokes!”


Demos lifted his hand off of the photograph to point an accusatory finger at the tye dye clad man.


“I’ve never seen that man before in my life!”

“That’s Robert Main!”


“Robert Main…...that name sounds familiar. Does he play texas hold em out at those dirty little saloons in the wastelands?”


“Robert “The Omega” Main. The name should ring about a dozen bells, Dimes. He’s rung about four dozen bells during his various stints with the XWF. He’s a former universal champion, for godsakes!”


“So are Peter Gilmour and Azrael Erebus and they both suck!”


“He’s a two time Hart champion!”


“So is Ned Kaye, and I’m pretty sure some version of us beat him twice!”


“He was most recently an incredibly long reigning X-treme champion!”


“So was Reggie Estrada and that dude’s a forgettable clown!”


“Reggie pinned Robert to start that very reign!”


“Well then this nimrod fucking sucks, why is he the top target?!”


“He’s an incredibly strong and versatile athlete with a storied NCAA wrestling background!”


“Oh so he’s a little college frat boy, huh? That ain’t shit to the Dimes! I’ve knocked out a hundred frat boys in my time! Why’s this shithead any different?!”


Demos rubbed the space between his eyebrows as he sighed softly.


“He’s not a frat bro, Dimes! Take this seriously! Robert Main may be underestimating us, but none the less he is not someone that can be taken lightly!”


“Whaddafuck are you talm bout, playa? Underestimating? He a scientist now or sumthn?”


“Dimes, let me be clear: Robert Main is a serious threat inside of that ring. Many already have him pencilled in to win this invitational. But fortune is always on the side of the just: Robert Main is too caught up on his own ego trip to see the shifting sands beneath his feet. He has paid next to no mind to our body over these last few weeks. As far as Robert Main is concerned, we are already all but eliminated from the battle royale. He hasn’t even considered how he’s going to stop you inside of that ring because he thinks you’re already out of the game. He has no plan or strategy for handling you, Dimes. Make full use of this advantage.”


“I’ll knock this buster on his ass, no worries, G! He looks like a bitch anyways!”


Demos looked back at the photograph of Robert Main laying atop the table.


“It is a shame this battle could never happen in it’s full greatness. Charlie Dimes throwing a forgetful and spacey Robert Main over the top rope? It’s not what the fans crave, but I suppose it will have to suffice.”


“Whaddya fans crave? You mean something with electrolytes, or what you got on tap playa?”


“The Demos versus The Monstrosity. That’s what the XWF deserves to see, but will never be treated to. It would be a showdown for the ages, but alas, Robert Main is too fearful to let his most powerful self take the reigns. He’s afraid of what may happen.

As such, he will be thrown over the top rope like the sniveling coward he is. The honor will be yours, Dimes. No one else in the invitational has the raw skill needed to end such a storied career.”


“Shiiiiiit consider it done, playa! That old hoopty is bout to get taken down to the junkyard and crushed like all the other cans!”


The Demos nodded his head in approval of the plan. The masked man turned back to the table and pointed towards another photograph. Dimes followed the tip of the man’s finger until he was staring at a photograph of Lycana.


“You will want to watch out for Lycana. She may just conceal a dagger in her cunt for use during the match. She is grotesque and disgusting, a foul creature indeed.”


“She got that stank puss, huh?”


Demos eyed Dimes with slight annoyance.


“She is a ravenous competitor and will be unyielding in her attempt to spread carnage.”


“Look playa I’ve hooked up with a lot of these ‘alternative’ and ‘goth’ chicks, all right? I know how they can get. Biting, scratching, clawing, I’ve gone through it all! They can get a bit mouthy but a couple of firm pimp slaps usually shuts the bitches right up!”


“You may need more than a couple of pimp slaps to put this witch in her place. Don’t hesitate to fight dirty with her. Scratch her eyes out, claw her throat out, do whatever you must to get her over the top rope.”


“Daaaaaaamn dog, I don’t think all that’s going to be necessary!”


“Don’t fall for her cheap tricks, Dimes! Her endless moralizing should not impede your assault! She knows not of what she speaks!”


“Whaddya mean?! I barely even know who she is, I just know she used to masturbate with her left hand but now she’s switching that out for a rabbit vibe!”


“She has spent the last few days accusing the Demos of being the same type of vile sadist as her and her fiendish companions. She is nothing but a snake slithering in the grass spreading lies and confusion.”


“How’s she slithering with so much boobage, dog?! Think about it!”


Demos sneered off the comments as he continued to lambast his storied rival.


“We must only listen to the good words of Leon Trotsky to shatter Lycana’s childish notions! Did Leon Trotsky, the great leader of the red army, not say:

‘A slave-owner who through cunning and violence shackles a slave in chains, and a slave who through cunning or violence breaks the chains – let not the contemptible eunuchs tell us that they are equals before a court of morality!’

And did the great Leon Trotsky not then go on to state:

‘The end may justify the means as long as there is something that justifies the end.’


And comrade Dimes, are my ends not as justified as they can possibly be?! I have fought the forces of evil tooth and nail! I have used every tactic and weapon available to me to slow the rolling tide of darkness. Sneak attacks? Ambushes? Are these not the tactics the Vietnamese used to expel American imperialists from their lands?! Is Lycana going to proclaim that the Vietnamese rice farmers are as evil and contemptible as their invaders?! Lycana’s warped view of morality is evidence of her own infantile delusions! BREAK HER, DIMES! BREAK HER IN TWO FOR THE GOOD OF THE PEOPLE!”


Dimes leaned back as Demos concluded his tirade.


“DAAAAAAYYUUUUUUUUUMMMMMM PLAYA! YOU HATE THIS BITCH, HUH?! I’LL GET AT HER ASS FOR YOU, BIG DOG!”


Demos cleared his throat as he rolled his head around on his neck. The masked man took a few deep breaths as he let a sense of calm flow into him. Demos looked at Dimes, then back at the table.


“Good. I look forward to watching her head crack open when you toss her over the rope. Now….”


Demos scanned the remaining photographs. As soon as his sights were set upon Betsy’s face he pointed at her smiling portrait.


“Betsy Granger will be looking for her big come up while she’s in there with you. If she can throw you and Robert over the top rope, her path to victory is clear. Fortunately for you she seems to have blinders covering her pretty little eyes.”


Demos reached into his pocket and pulled out a small clump of Betsy Granger’s hair. He brought it up to his nose and inhaled the air around it.


“Do not harm her too much…..she has proven a valuable ally in the war against evil….”


“You’re getting horny, dog! Bout time! Let’s smash some whores after I win this whole shebang! You can take the redhead and I’ll take that little slut in the leather!”


Charlie Dimes pointed a finger at the photograph of Miss Fury.

“Do what you wish with Chris Page’s bangmaid. Just be gentle with Betsy when you toss her tiny frame over the top rope. We don’t need to do serious damage to her body or self image. She’s already so unsure of herself that she needs another’s help just to gaze into her own mind.

“But we’re inside your mind all the time!”


“I know, I know. It truly is a sad state of affairs that Betsy Granger is so insecure and fragile that she needs to submit to a master just in order to travel through her own psyche. But…..feel free to leave a few bruises on her skin. Maybe give her a broken nose. Anything you can do to make her less appealing to James Raven would be good.”


“You scared of a little competition, eh, dog? That dude is a beefcake! But shiiiiiit dog, just offer up that little ho some molly and crack rock and she’ll ditch him for you! All the hos I hang with do that kinda shit!”

Dimes points to the photograph of Fury once more.

“I bet she’d do that kinda shit!”


Demos shakes his head from side to side.


“Betsy isn’t like those other harlots. She has true and noble intentions. Alas, James Raven does not. He treats her like an emotional yoyo, slinging her around and twisting her heart into knots with every affair and secret lover. Atara Themis is only the tip of the iceberg. His infidelities with Atara couldn’t be clearer, yet Betsy deludes herself into believing James to be as faithful as she is. It truly is heartbreaking to see such an innocent and naive young woman fall for such a deceitful heartthrob. The damage you do to her body will never rival the damage James Raven will do to her heart and soul.”


“Welllll wait a minute now, G. Isn’t Betsy getting a darker edge now? Ain’t she talking to that dark angel hanging over her shoulder, telling her to be bad?”


“It’s true, as sad as it may sound. Betsy Granger has ceased to blaze her own trail. Her shooting star seems to have finally faded out. Now she’s talking to herself just like every Tom, Dick, Robert, and Charlie.”


“Damn shame, Demos!”


Charlie Dimes looks at the rest of the photographs strewn across the table.


“And what about the rest of these jackals?”


“Every battle royale has meaningless bait thrown in just to bloody the waters for the real sharks. Consider them your chum.”


“Bet! I’mma eat em up like a ribplatter!”


Demos grinned and nodded at his alter ego. Demos placed his hand on the elbow of his bearded compatriot as he looked into his earnest eyes.


“You know Dimes, I see a lot of potential inside of you. I know you’ve had your struggles and fair share of hard time, but I know you can rise above all of the noise and clear the way for my championship reign. When you win this battle royale, I may just let you travel to Leap of Faith with me.”

Dimes didn’t smile as the scene faded to black with Demos’s happy hand firmly gripping Charlie’s tye dyed shoulder.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------


Chris Page is a god among men.

Chris Page is the biggest bull with the fattest cock.

Chris Page is the shit that doesn’t stink.

Who but I could defeat Chris Page at Leap of Faith and destroy B.o.B.?

…...Or at least that’s what Robert Main said to me when he was pissdrunk last night!

At least, I think that college kid in the cheap halloween mask was Robert Main! I’m honest to god still not quite sure who the mofucka is, I just know I ain’t got no option but to bust his chops and toss his ass like a fruit salad!


Chris Page will EAT ME UP AND SPIT ME OUT like a nasty prostitute on a typical Saturday night! But NOT ROBERT MAIN! Right, Robby boy?

I mean, not Thunder Knuckles or Doc D’Ville or Thaddeus Duke or any of the other hundred bastards that’s beaten Chris Page over these last two decades. A win over Page ain’t much, chief! I ain’t one for history but I’d bet bottom dollar someone like Peter Gilmour has been able to sneak in a win against Chris Page, too!

But shit, Robert Main wants to sell Chris Page! I get it, I really do! Those two dudes have been inseparable ever since 2019! They’re like siamese twins who can’t stop sucking each other’s dicks! My god they literally won’t ever shut up about each other! The shit’s about as homoerotic as you could possibly get.

I swear to you on this day I think those two men may have been porking each other back when they were tag teaming. Shit, I mean, it makes sense, don’t it?

They were getting all hot and greasy with each other in the ring allllll of 2019. Time after time Robert Main made Chris Page his sweaty little bitch. Main couldn’t help but get all up on Chris Page, and god damn, I think Robert Main might’ve been popping some woodies during those title matches!

I mean, why else would you go on and team up with the guy you’ve been having a blood quarrel with for the last ten months? It’s because you’ve got the hots for him! That’s the only damn explanation I’ll accept!

Shiiiiiiit I bet DaddyDom Main loved tying up his little Pagey Poo and getting all up on him in their shared hotel room during those never ending XWF tours! I would hate to share a room next to those two! If they talk this dirty to each other publicly, imagine the kind of shit they're hollering at each other when Robert Main is four inches deep inside of Page’s piss prick! I mean c’mon, you gotta know that’s what they’re doing. Do you really think that tight ass Page could fit anything up his rear? No way! Those two are sounders, there are no ifs ands or butts about it!


Those two busters must’ve had a nasty breakup when they lost those tag belts, and shit I get it, I’ve had my fair share of troublesome exes too! You just can’t get em out of your head. And even though you love to talk trash on em, you can’t stand it when someone else takes a dig at them, cause you still feel the urge and the need to protect them! I know the feeling! I’ve had countless hos I coudn’t get over. Sometimes the pussy really is that good!

But damn Robby Main, if you’re going to sell Page so hard, you might as well give at least a little rub to Thunder Knuckles! You really are an egotistical piece of shit, you know that, Robert Main?

Hey everyone, Robert didn’t go on injured reserve for four months because Thunder Knuckles kicked the shit out of him, he got put on the bench because he’s a fucking pussy who can’t handle his drugs!

Like are you fucking serious Robert Main? Two handfuls of Percs and Hydros kept you out of the wrestling game for nearly FIVE FUCKING MONTHS?!?! THAT’S HALF A GOD DAMN YEAR! From a couple of pills, a tab of acid, and a bit of angel dust?!?! YOU’RE STILL OUT OF YOUR GOD DAMNED MIND IF YOU THINK ANYONE IS GOING TO BELIEVE THAT BOATLOAD OF BULLSHIT!

Who are you, Drake? Does half a xanax keep you out for a full flight? Jesus fucking Christ you’re an embarrasment to this business. You know some of us like to shoot up half our body weight in heroin before we head to that ring, right? I don’t think you can hang with the cool cats, Robby Main!

You want to impress the Dimebag, O-minor?

Smoke a joint without having to take two weeks off from work.

You’re fucking pathetic.

Are you so embarrassed of the truth that you can’t help twist and writhe under the magnifying glass? Are you not man enough to simply own up to the facts and admit that Knucks caught you slipping and laid you out?

You’ve admitted it before! You admitted it earlier this week! You stupid motherfucker, do you think paying some wannabe actor to dress up in a white coat for an XWF vignette and deliver a few canned lines is going to change anyone’s mind?

You should probably sit this match out, Robert. It seems you’re still suffering from a bad case of yellow belly!

You’re not a man at all.

You might as well share a locker room with Betsy Granger, Miss Fury, and Jenny Myst. You and Jenny can sit in the corner and whine about life together while Betsy beats the shit out of Pissy Page’s Missy.

That’s what she does, right?

Betsy beats Fury.

Demos beats Fury.

Charlie beats Fury.

Singles, tag team, battle royale, Fury just can’t stop losing to the faces of the field. At least Fury hasn’t lost to Sil yet, and shit, she’s not going to lose to him tomorrow night either! So rest assured that you will still be able to hang your hat on that fact, Missy!

But Betsy… as the little hussy that you are, I don’t think you’re going to be able to rest assured at all!

Betsy, take a few words of advise from a playa. James Raven is using you! He’s cheating you like a trip ho skank. Your ditsy ass better skip on from him before you head into this battle royale if you want to have a chance of victory! If you don’t have your head on right you’re going to be too distracted by the man OUTSIDE of the ring to focus on the men INSIDE of the ring! How are you going to be able to toss me over the top rope when you’re worrying about what James Raven and Atara are doing in the back? Are they just watching your match together like they said they would, or is he porking her right at that moment?

Think about it now, Betsy, so you don’t have to think about it during the match.


He’s going to be balls deep inside of Atara! He’s probably using the cum of the ‘mystery entrant’ as lube as he raw dogs that nasty freak bitch! Wwwwwwwheeeeeeeeeeeew I bet it’s a helluva scene!

Dump his ass, Betsy! He’s not going to be there with an ice pack for you after I drop you on your head, he’s going to be too busy dropping his babies onto your best friend’s tongue!

And Lycana…….gurl, get your act together! You spent all week attacking the wrong guy! Demos isn’t going to be in that ring with you tomorrow night, you cute little tiktok girl! It’s going to be the Dimebag lifting your skirt up and over the rope! Daaaammmmmmmn girl, did you forget the shits?! See this is the problem with you egirls, you’re all so scatterbrained and ADHD that you forget to settle down and take care of business!


Stupid, stupid, stupid. You really did need Baphomet to do all your thinking for you, didn’t you, Lycana? That brain cell that you and Marf share just doesn’t seem up to snuff!

Oh, and speaking of dumb bitches…..Silderella?

I haven’t forgotten about you, sonnyboy! I got your phone number from the stall in the truck stop bathroom. Best believe I’ll be giving you a call after I toss you from the ring! I love to mock the disabled hos after I slap them around a little bit!