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Prof. Bobby Bourbon · (09-01-2021)

Yo, TK, I’m really sleepy.

So?

I mean, I’m tired.

Why?

Well, we’ve been going around being relevant as fuck, promoting ourselves harder than diamond within the wrestling world while James Raven has been doing nothing for two months besides watching whatever momentum he might have slip away to nothingness. Those abs are photoshopped. James, take a picture, shoe on head, datestamped. Then we can believe in your abs. Here's a realistic photo of James Raven.

[Image: Ryan-Reynolds--1024x684.jpg]

Oh, wow. He's let himself go.

He has nothing to prove, mon ami.

TK looks at Bobby bizarrely for speaking French.

What was that?

Fancy.

Oh. Well, stop.

Okay. But, about Raven.

That’s true! He has been resting on his laras.

Laurels.

Exactly.

Man, and his other half sure has been kind of doing nothing of note.

Betsy?

What? No, Shawn!

Well, he did come to War Games.

And I splattered him against the canvas. Like Betsy.

Just like Betsy.

Man, this whole Apex Legacy thing would have been cool if they actually followed up and were a thing instead of some goofy mish-mash of shit being thrown at a wall to see what sticks. Didn't they even think it was a failure? Pretty sure Betsy even said it was a pipe dream and it fell apart. Are ratings that bad that someone had to dredge up this nonsense? I count two whole separate teams that could be challenging Them No Good Bastards for the tag team titles, instead we're in this dog and pony show.

You know?

And Apex.

They’re still a thing?

Fuck no, have you heard Robert Main say anything at all about letting bygones be bygones? Nope. Those boys went into War Games and laid it all out there, plain as day, how much they really don’t like each other, being more petty than snobby white girls.

What about snobby girls of color?

Nah, they’re definitely whiter than ghosts. Have you heard Caedus speak? Jim Caedus is so white he’s like if ranch dressing had sex with marshmallows.

We’re white.

Well, yeah, but they’re like Golden Corral at mid-afternoon, MAGA white. They got sand in their vaginas over each other at War Games. Shame, too, pretty sure beating their asses at Relentless would’ve been cool.

Would’ve sold tickets.

Ah well. Looks like we're going to beat Apex Legacy on Warfare. Big whoop. Bring on actual competition.

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