S01E01 EPISODE
"December 2020"

[bwo][/bwo]

Christmas decorations light the suburban streets as Miss Fury is seen walking away from a nice suburban home. In her hand is a thumb drive that she places into her pocket. She looks down at her Ozzymandias Incorporated smartwatch and presses exactly four times, on what, not sure but this triggers the Ozzymandias Incorporated smartwatches of Thunder Knuckles and Bobby Bourbon, Them No Good Bastards. Who are just hanging out, waiting for the right moment to capture the Tag Team championships. Their Ozzymandias Incorporated watches start flashing red when TK notices.

Bobby, Bro.

I know. Looks like the fun and games are over.

I hate having to fucking work.

Bobby and TK both stop their Ozzymandias Incorporated (OZ-CORP) smartwatches when out of nowhere they are ripped from Texas to the recesses of BOB’s New York subterranean base.

Holy sheep shit, Ozzy! How about a goddamn warning mother fucker, I mean, goddamn man.

Bobby looks over at TK.

You’ll get used to it. String theory is a wonderful thing.

TK looks confused.

Well, to put it bluntly, you guys would have taken forever to get here when your watch flashes red which means you're needed now. Fury will be here in about an hour.

Why don't you fucking snatch her, like you fucking snatched us?

Because it gives us time to play scrabble. I have it all set up.

I love scrabble. How'd you know, Ozzy?

I didn't.

The group walks over to the table and begins to play scrabble awaiting Miss Fury's arrival. Some time passes as they play the game. TK doesn't seem to be having any fun at all. While Bobby, like always, is making the most of things.

It's your turn TK.

I got this. Check it, F-U-C-K, that’s thirteen goddamn points!

So it is.

Ozzy is comfortably in the lead at this point, whileist TK is in last place. Without any warning Fury walks in and sees her BOBs playing scrabble.

What are guys doing?

The men sitting at the table playing scrabble all look over at once when they head the door open.

Playing fucking scrabble.

TK uttered out without thinking. Bobby, quick on his feet, knew exactly what to do.

It was Ozzy's idea.

What? You’re not having fun, TK?

You're fucking winning, Ozzy! Of course, you're having fun.

Miss Fury clears her throat so as to gain the group's attention, it worked.

I gathered you three here because of this.

Miss Fury pulls out the USB thumb drive.

Cool fucking thumb drive!

TK says to Fury sarcastically then looking at Bobby like, what the fuck? Miss Fury walks over to the supercomputer in the room. She then plugs the USB drive into the front. A holographic screen appears in the center of the table where scrabble was being played.

I take it back, that was pretty goddamn dope.

A video of an elderly couple is being shown. Miss Fury’s voice can be heard saying,

Speak into the camera, and tell me again why you contacted us.

An older man and what appears to be his wife are sitting at a dining room table looking sad.

Our son Johnny is a cargo pilot. He flies cargo from Cesar Colombia to the United States. Making multiple stops along the way.

The father whose facial expressions were sad now begins to twist with anger, with every word he says, from this point forward.

He started having engine trouble according to air traffic control documents. So he landed in Miranda, Venezuela. Where local authorities were already there. Supposedly, they found cocaine on his cargo plane hidden inside of his cargo.

Johnny’s mother rubs her husband's shoulders to calm him, she whimpers out.

Our Johnny lives a clean life.

This almost immediately causes Johnny’s father into nurturing mode for his wife, dropping all anger.

I know Susie, he'll be okay. There’s no way Johnny knew drugs were on that plane. I just know it! The authorities here can’t help us. No one will help us. That’s why we contacted BOB!

The father puts his arm around his wife and comforts her some more. The mother is now sobbing. Then he looks back toward the camera where Miss Fury is located.

You’ll help us... Right?

The video cuts and so does the holographic screen.

Bastards, you guys are going to go to Cesar Colombia where Johnny left. Get information from the locals and find out what’s going on.

TK high fives Bobby because this sounds like a vacation.

Ozzy you’ll goto Miranda, Venezuela where Johnny touched down and await information from the Bastards an-

TK cuts off Fury.

How much is this job paying?

Fury, though annoyed, makes a coyish smile.

Go talk to the locals with Bobby and get information, TK. I think there is more at play than this. What we’re gaining is more than enough to make you happy. I have private jets waiting for all of you at the airstrip. The pilots are BOB loyalists. We should get in and out of the countries undetected.

We have an airstrip?!

You didn’t know that? I call it the BOBport.

What else do we got that I don’t fucking know about!?

Miss Fury looks back over at Ozzy now that TK is just finding out about everything he could have been utilizing.

I have some business to take care of. I’ll meet up with you in Miranda.

Fury, this plan of yours. It better be worth it, in the end.

Miss Fury places her hand on Oswald’s shoulder.

It will be.




[bwo][/bwo]


Miss Fury, Ozzy, and Them No Good Bastards are still in the subterranean deep below New York City. TK’s phone rings and he answers it.

Fucking Christ, I know, Jimmy! Give me a goddamn break here! We’re doing important ass BOB shit, right now. I know who we’re facing! Team fucking Betsy!

TK pulls the phone away from his ear.

Bobby take it for a second, team Reggie’s Wet Dream, get’em.

Reggie’s wet dream? You mean to tell me that he’s surrounded by passed out prom queens who can't say no to him? Bah. Every member of his team would rather fuck a rusty piece of steel wool than give him a lay. Reggie’s Angels? He's not even the captain of their team! And Angels? Woah. Well, there's Atara, who is angelic, but only in looks alone. She's cool as shit, don't get me wrong, and definitely is the heaviest hitter on their squad when she's motivated. C'mon, Atara. We're not Alias, this isn't the Universal Title or anything, no sweat. Heard your little rant about us, but heads up, you never did me any favors. Lycana has proven to be quite the devastating threat without Marf holding her back, but following War Games she's probably going to saddle back up with the doofus and tick it down a notch or seven to keep advancing her career at a snail's pace. Then there's Betsy. Hi Betsy. We are gonna have a ball in the ring, I know it. Thanks for taking the night off, this Television Championship sure feels good. For all the times people want to say I'm too big, nobody seems to be slowing me from gaining weight, ten pounds of gold at a time. Myself, alone, with all my belts, outweigh Betsy, Atara, and Lycana combined. Slinging the three of you around inside the steel won't even make me break a sweat, pretty sure every other team should be pissed that they gave us featherweights to fling around en route to the finals. Reggie’s Angels? Might as well be Reggie’s Ragdolls, because y'alls whole team is built to take abuse. You want to step into the ring with us, ask yourselves, what’s the use? BOB’s coming to do damage, we aren’t calling a truce, gonna fuck y’all up like a stiff gin and juice! We got Fury, us No Good Bastards, and Ozzy, four fighting with reckless abandon like kamikaze, y’all look good on the carpet in front of paparazzi but when you hit the ring with us you’ll be looking more like Benghazi. Out in Woodstock when we take center stage, the crowd will get hyped because we’re all the rage, with violence so sick you would think it’s a phage, how many of y’all do you think I’ll put through the damn cage? One angel, two angels, three angels, four, you show your faces and I’ll show you the floor! Take you out like the garbage, you’re just a biweekly chore, y’all glamour shots, we’re straight up hardcore! So pipe up, speak up, call us some names, set up something spiffy for War Games, y’all got us first and ain’t it a shame, BOB’s gonna whoop Reggie and a couple of dames.

Wait a goddamn second! Besty, Atara, and Lycana-

TK counts them out on his fingers.

-between the fucking three of them, couldn't make one healthy-looking ass. Which one do you think, calls themselves the backbone of that team, Bobby?

Reggie Estrada.

Figures. Always needing a goddamn male figurehead. Shame on you bitches.

For real, it's 2021, ladies.

TK shrugs..

Maybe I expected more. Oh, fucking, well.

“Listen, fun and games aside, you all need to realize something real quick! What you see standing before you? This is BOB! No, not just BOB! B.O.B. as in O.G. as in War Games elimination style matches? Pfffft!”

Fury brushes off the challenge.

“Piece of cake! See, you guys can sell this, however, you so choose, but at the end of the day you must admit mistakes were made, no?”

“BOB has the experience, not only in this match style, not only with THIS particular grouping of members, but just with teaming in general! What do you have? Duke and Doc? Yeah, sure, their allegiance runs thick, till it doesn't! Alias and Corey? Just. a. Matter. Of. time.”

“Cash in.”

“If you don’t see it coming then you’re a moron, and I don’t believe you to be stupid, Alias.”

“They say that there is no honor among thieves, but I present to you the exception to that rule! Supervillains? Sure! We’re as evil as they come, but we’re also as smart as they come, and we know… BOB knows that we are collectively so much better than we were while apart, and when one thrives, we all thrive. Just look at the proof! The hottest thing in wrestling stands before you. That isn’t an accident. Now it’s up to all of you to try and cobble together the same comradery in mere weeks, that we built in our year! Good luck!”

Fury leans back exaggerating her laughter to maximum comic effect!

Do you honestly expect a group of randomly selected fuck wits are going to mold and bond better than a team that's fucking done this for the better part of a goddamn year?


"Of course not! How could they possibly!?"

Now everyone’s wondering what ‘Ol Thunder Knuckles is going to say about Atara. She’s a goddess. I don’t like running her down because she is so much more than most of these shit stains on the roster. She's different, unique, fucking gold... When she wants something. You can’t teach what she’s got. I’ll be fucking goddamned though, if she doesn’t think that ‘Ol Thunder Knuckles won’t pin pretty little shoulders to the mat. I’ve fucking done it before and I’ll do it again. Who’s next?

Lycanna.

Well, well, we fucking meet again…

Thunder Knuckles gives his blessed by God jerking-off hand gestures.

This dumb bitch says shit like this on the regular… Wait for it... Win or loss... She always fucking come out winning… No shit, that’s real! The goddamn bitch with the slight underbite who gives ‘Ol Thunder Knuckles shit for saying fucking. This shit’s ri-goddamn-diculous! Loss means not winning. I know that’s hard for you to understand. You’ve been on a bit of a roll since you beat Alias. Congratulations on your big win.

Oswald chuckles.

Then you beat Page but anyone with a half-grain-of-piss worth-a-shit in this business can beat Page!

Fury's eyes widen in shock before she playfully nudges TK.

What? It's fucking true! Any-fucking-way, Jim Caedus ended up flat ironing your ass and brought you back to reality when he took that Xtreme title from you. Don’t worry he isn’t walking out the Xtreme Champion. I am. How about you, Lycanna, pompously fucking tell ‘Ol Thunder Knuckles how that loss was a win. Get the fuck out of here.

Reggie, I don’t know what makes you think that this team that’s been assembled around you is going to win, but, here’s the problem chief. Most of us and most of the other teams, have done more and will do more, even your own teammates, have done more than you will ever hope to accomplish. You pathetic parasite.

Reggie ain’t shit. Reggie is going to come out there and some dumb ass shit and then get ate the fuck up for it. So just shut the fuck up about Reggie.

Yes, let’s put the attention squarely where it deserves to land, upon the shoulders of Betsy Granger! The same Betsy Granger that foolishly added a BOB to her ranks in only the second round! Why? Because she wants to win, of course! And what better way to do so then to add not just a BOB, but one of our premiere players to the ranks? I refuse to bury Atara, because when it comes to the art of the craft, Atara Themis is a master stroke artist! That doesn't imply that she doesn't sometimes stand in her own way, just like it doesn't imply that her talent and skill will do anything to help Estrada's Angels chances at War Games! What you face Betsy is hope against hope, with or without a BOB, because the moment WAR GAMES became BOB GAMES, any other team's chances of success dropped by…”

Fury looks over to Bobby who has seven feet of dot matrix printed data unraveled all around his feet.

10,000.314 percent and falling!

Betsy, you have your history with BOB, as forgettable as it may be, and you have your history with Ms. Themis and Lycana as well. You know full well, no matter what assurances you think you may have to the contrary, there’s always that very likely possibility that you find yourself with a knife stuck in your back! But wait, TK, maybe she’s made another impossible journey and found the key to getting past BOB with Reggie Estrada and two girls that she has more beef with individually than any of them legitimately do with us? Or are we to forget the heated betrayal of friends and the epic dud that was The Left Hand versus RMI? What is this now? How can you and Lycana possibly work side by side and trust the other not to stab you in the back? What common bond do you share that will help you work past your differences? BOB!? Really? Why? Simple! Jealousy! Jealousy because BOB has stolen the spot light! Jealousy because BOB built the supergroup that The Left Hand and Legacy only dreamt of being! Jealousy that a couple of Misfits from Anarchy, a so-called wash out, and a con man have built the biggest empire that the XWF has ever seen! We aren't just a team! We aren't just a stable! We're BOB, and like it or not, we're bigger than the XWF itself!

Fuck that Betsy! It doesn't fucking matter which goddamn dimension you travel to cause in fucking none of them, does BOB not come out of fucking War Games the most dominant faction XWF has ever seen. That's right, mother fuckers, I said it. Better than fucking Apex, Better than the goddamn Kings, yeah, shots fucking fired bitches, and definitely better than that Whinestein and Raven's shit show that's slowly fell apart. Hell, they gotta team up with fucking Apex to even stand a chance. Suck Gilmour's super dick you goddamn poser fucks.

You saw what we did on Savage and Warfare, ya fucking marks. War Games is about survival. No one survives like BOB. Tell’em Ozzy.

You All thought we were a joke. Here we are thriving. The Left Hand, gone. The Syndicate, detained. Apex, running for their lives. BOB survives. What's the difference between them and Charlie's Carnies-

Appropriately fucking named for goddamn sure.

DisContinuum-

Thad from O.P. to just relying on Doc.

Acockalypse Now-

Dick Powers is the fucking man, but he's going to have to get beat till he's black and blue, causing him to puke all over Ceadus and Ned Kaye. We all know Geri isn't making it after Savage.

Faith unifies Coretopia and Korea in a triumphant holy alliance of distinction.-

Leave it to Corey to have the most pojantic name on the fucking field.

Pedantic.

EXACTLY! That's what the fucker does! Ozzy, hit'em with that shit that they should know by now.

Join us, or die fighting the inevitable.

Thunder Knuckles gives the middle finger just as the scene fades to black.