Threaded Mode | Linear Mode

Centurion · (12-15-2020)

Betsy: Please don't do that thing you two always do.

(The final Warfare is right around the corner, and the XWF crew has gone all out to ensure it ends with a bang.

Two title matches headline an absolutely stacked card. One of the main attractions of the show is a tag team match featuring The Prophecy, the greatest wrestling stable to ever grace God's green earth, taking on the team of Dolly Waters and Corey Smith. Of course, teaming together once again gives Centurion and James Raven the chance to get together for some dinner and drinks, as well as the opportunity to annoy the fuck out of their significant others.

We open up inside some fancy restaurant, where James Raven and his girlfriend, Betsy Granger, are already seated. James is in a suit and Betsy is in a cocktail dress, and the two have glasses of an unknown alcoholic drink in front of them. James is leafing through the menu, but Betsy is attempting to have a serious conversation with him.)

James: What thing?

Betsy: You know, when the two of you get together and start having one of your dick measuring contests. It was cute when you were 24, but you're both grown men now. With girlfriends. Who get embarrassed by your schenanigans.

James: We don't have a dick measuring contest…

(James responds to Betsy while still looking at the menu. A few second of silence goes by before James finished his thought.)

James: ...if we did, I'd blow him out of the water.

(Betsy elbows James, who sets his menu down. Through the front door of the restaurant walks Centurion and Ruby. Centurion is wearing a high priced black tuxedo, while Ruby is wearing a dark grey suit. The two practically walk in step, with Centurion holding a felt in his right hand. James stands up as Centurion approaches the table.)

James: Cent.

Centurion: Jimmy. Sorry we're late. I had a tough time getting this through the airport.

(Centurion opens up his bag and sets the UGWC Cross-Hemisphere Title on the table. Centurion gestures to it and slightly shrugs. He goes to sit down, but before he does, James stops him. He bends down and reaches underneath the table, pulling up the GCWA World Heavyweight Title. He places it directly in front of Centurion's title and just stares him in the eyes.)

James: Mine's bigger.

Ruby: (to Betsy) Is this going to be an all night thing?

Betsy: You'll be lucky if it just ends tonight.

(Centurion, James, and Ruby all sit down as Centurion adjusts the table in front of him. He and Ruby both grab menus as Betsy decides to engage in conversation.)

Betsy: How have you two been? Congratulations again on...well, this.

Ruby: Thank you! It's been super exciting! I've been spending a lot of time in Chicago lately. Cent's shown me around the city, and he even took me to a Bears game last week. I'm hoping this stupid virus goes away soon so we get to do more things with, like... actual people.

James: You know, if you take Cent to Denny's before 4 PM, he can get the Early Bird Special.

Centurion: Only you would be trashy enough to know what's on the menu at a Denny's.

James: I've been drunk with friends before. You ever have friends? They're people who generally like to be around you.

Centurion: Sounds exhausting.

Waitress: Excuse me.

(James and Centurion stop bickering as a waitress, who they did not notice previously, stands next to the table. She had a smile on her face - one of those fake smiles that you know is fake, and like...she's putting it on because she clearly caught a conversation she probably shouldn't have so she's trying to act as natural as possible even though it's completely awkward.)

Waitress: What can I get you two to drink?

Ruby: Tequila sunrise, please.

Centurion: Scotch, single malt, on the rocks, and two shots of Ketel One.

(The waitress nods as she takes down the orders and walks away.)

James: Woah, big spender. You sure you can afford all that, champ? You're not going to force Ruby to go Dutch, are you?

Centurion: Don't worry about my bank account. In fact, I thought about picking up tonight's bill, seeing as you seem to be spending all that money on those trips you're taking with Betsy.

James: I'm doing just fine. I know you don't know much about this, but wrestling companies pay a pretty decent bonus to World Champions. Besides, after what happened with your business, I figured you'd stay away from the big purchases for a while.

Centurion: Look who's talking. How's that football team you bought going?

Ruby: You two are friends?

(Centurion and James stop and both look over at Ruby. They takes a second before turning their heads back toward each other.)

Centurion: Not really.

James: More like acquaintances.

Centurion: Barely know the guy.

James: What's your name again?

Betsy: Boys! Stop! I don't think you realize how damn annoying you're being.

Centurion: Oh, we realize. We just don't care.

Betsy: Well, if you two keep it up, Ruby and I are going to stay in one of the hotel rooms together, and the two of you can fight over which one of you is going to be the big spoon.

(Both Betsy and Ruby glare over at their dates. James and Centurion stop for a second as they look at the two ladies, knowing full well that continuing this bickering would likely lead to a pretty unsatisfying night. Centurion and James turn to each other and nod.)

James: You'd be the big spoon.

Centurion: Makes sense. I am older.

James: And I like to be held.

(Ruby and Betsy just sign as the waitress returns to the table with the previous ordered drinks. She sets the sunrise in front of Ruby, followed by the scotch and the two shots in front of Centurion.)

Waitress: I'll be right back to take your orders.

(The waitress walks away. As she does, Centurion takes one of the shots of vodka and slides it over to James. James picks it up, and the two of them clink together their shot glasses before downing it. They tap the shot glass twice on the table before stacking the glasses on top of each other in front of them.)

Centurion: That will get the heart pumping. Now, about Warfare.

James: Yeah?

Centurion: We’re gonna win.

James: Unquestionably.

(With that, James and Centurion go back to their menus as the camera c…)

Betsy: Wait…that’s it?

James: What do you mean?

Betsy: You two got together to talk about your match, and you just say “we’re going to win” and leave it at that? This is a pretty big match.

(Centurion picks up his highball glass and takes a sip of his scotch as he points at Betsy.)

Centurion: Ah. See, that’s where you’re wrong. It really isn’t that big of a match. Not for us, anyway. I’m sure Dolly and Corey are sitting at home, all excited to be facing a couple of legends on television. It will give Corey some shine and give Dolly that last final big match that she’s been looking for. But for us? Meh.

James: I’m a World Champion. Cent’s…not, but we’re still proud of him.

Centurion: Hey, fuck you.

(Ruby elbows Centurion in the shoulder, causing Centurion to immediately put his head down.)

Centurion: Sorry.

James: It doesn’t really matter what we do in this match. We’re still The Prophecy. We’re still icons of the business. And we’ll still have title belts when we walk out of Warfare. We’re not wrestling this match because we NEED to. We’re doing it because we WANT to…and mainly so we can shut that Corey kid up.

Centurion: Seriously, what a dolt. And I like Dolly…kinda. I’m more doing this match for her, but still, we don’t have anything on the line here. What do we stand to lose? Our reputation? Yeah, good luck. No one has built a reputation as great as James Raven has in this industry. There isn’t a damn thing Corey and Dolly can do that will change that.

James: …that’s the nicest thing you’ve ever said about me.

Centurion: To your face.

James: Obviously.

(As the banter continues, the waitress returns with a pad and paper, preparing to take orders. She gestures over to Ruby, who orders first. The four order their meals, which Distler would normally write out in detail but it’s been forever since he’s been to an actual nice restaurant and he’s forgotten what real food looks like, so screw it, use your imagination, before the waitress walks away from the table. Centurion takes another sip of his scotch before setting it back down on the table.)

James: So Ruby, what’s it like taking care of Cent? Do you have to get him his oatmeal and his meds in the morning?

Centurion: Another old joke? Really?

James: I’m running out of material here. You’ve been around for so long that literally every insult has been used against you at some point. All I have left is the fact that you’re old and you’re dating way above your level.

Centurion: HA! Look who’s talking! You’re dating a 10, when you are, at best, a 6.

Ruby: (To Betsy) Do they know we’re still here?

Betsy: (To Ruby) Let them keep going, they’re complimenting us.

James: First of all, don’t say my girlfriend is a 10. While that may be true, I don’t want someone old enough to be her grandpa to be the one saying it. Secondly, I’m hot as fuck and you know it.

(James stares at Centurion, who stares back. The two just continue to glare at each other for several awkward seconds while the ladies look on, looking as confused as ever. Finally, after what seems like a lifetime, Centurion closes his eyes and turns his head.)

Centurion: Dammit, you’re right. You are, indeed, a beautiful man.

James: See, this is why I like teaming with Jackson. Far less sexual tension.

------To Young And Bold------

Let me take you all back to March 13th, 2019.

It’s a date I talk about a lot. It’s the day I made my official announcement that I would be returning to the XWF. Prior to that date, I knew next to nothing about the current state of the Xtreme Wrestling Federation. I had been gone from the business for so long that the names were all foreign to me – all except James Raven, who was the one that was pushing for the older fucks to come back to begin with.

The day I announced, I knew I had a lot of work to do. My match against Jack Nation wasn’t going to be a one off. I knew that. I put too much work in to have it all culminate with a match against Jack Nation. That’s absurd. So, I sat down and I started watching XWFTV.

And I mean, a LOT of XWFTV.

I watched old shows, promos, hype videos – everything from the several years I had been gone in order to get caught up. At first, I was pretty disgusted – apparently 2015 XWF had a thing for people with poop fetishes and Nazis, but eventually, the “shock and awe” wrestlers left, and what remained was a core of young superstars who looked to have the world in the palm of their hands. In particular, there were five wrestlers on the roster at the time of my return that I always assumed would be the ones who took over the XWF and made legendary careers of their own.

One of those wrestlers was Lux…we’ll get to her in a minute.

Another was Gamer Girl, who apparently decided the wrestling business wasn’t for her.

Two more were Sarah Lacklan and Thaddeus Duke, both of whom went on to become XWF Universal Champions. Lacklan could have been in the top 5 greatest XWF wrestlers of all time had Vinnie Lane decided not to push whatever weird personal agenda he had against her, and Thad is likely to hold that belt for a while, as long as he continues to have the motivation he has today. Given that it’s Thad…that’s not a given.

The final one was someone who would become Hart Champion the day I stepped foot in the XWF again – Dolly Waters.

In fact, I was as impressed with Dolly as I was with Lacklan. She wasn’t as “crisp” as Lacklan, but the talent was clearly there. She was young. Like, ridiculously young. Younger than someone should be if they’re getting into this sport, but she would grow into her talent. I knew this. It wouldn’t be long before Dolly Waters was Universal Champion – standing at the top of the XWF ladder with her entire career in front of her.

Then came the Michael Graves incident.

For those of you who either forgot, or have tried to sweep this one under the rug, Michael Graves – who was a dude at the time – ran out in the middle of a main event match between Dolly and Tony Santos. Dolly, not yet 18, was tossed into a van and kidnapped by Graves. This was after weeks upon weeks of Graves doing more Graves bullshit where he tries to be “edgy”, but instead it just comes out as “weird”. But you know what was really strange about that situation?

People barely talked about it. Like, it was just another one of those “things” that happens in professional wrestling. A young girl getting kidnapped by a pedophile? “Oh shucks, those crazy wrestlers are at it again”. It was absolutely embarrassing to be back in the business at that time, because it was clear to me that no one had learned from the mistakes of our past. Apparently we were going to just let anyone do anything, no matter how terrible, criminal, or disgusting it might be.

Well, I couldn’t stand for it. I’m an old school guy, and I needed to do something about it. So a week later, I hit the ring wearing a Dolly Waters t-shirt, I took out Destiny Graves, and in a buried alive match, I put both members of the Graves family in the dirt. I figured I not only avenged Dolly Waters, but I got rid of the Graves family for good. Then, about two months later…

Graves was back. Ok, that’s odd, but I guess I should have expected that. Dude can’t stay away. But that’s not the weirdest thing, because only a few days later…

…Dolly Waters was spotted. Just…hanging out. Getting interviewed and talking about how her career started to spiral. Any mention of the kidnapping? Nope. Any mention of me burying Graves? Nope. And it was at that time that I realized…

It was all just a stunt. It was just a way for Dolly to walk away from the business. I’m sure she slipped Graves a 20 or something, and Graves, as desperate as he is for money and the attention of a woman, decided to go with it. Graves gets the attention he wanted, Dolly gets to leave the XWF, and everyone gets to feel sorry for her and what she had to endure. Her great career, the one that was destined for greatness, cut short by an evil creep. Would have been a hell of an ending.

But Dolly couldn’t do that. She couldn’t get out of her own way. Instead, she’s decided she wants a “good” send off. She wants to be able to retire the right way – by competing against some big name competition in the final match of her career. In doing so, not only does she spoil all of the good will she had earned through the kidnapping incident, but she is also dimming the shine that was on her career. Instead of “great wrestler who was cut short”, she’s going to have a new ending.

Midcard wrestler who just couldn’t get over the hump.

Because in the end, that’s all Dolly Waters’ career was, wasn’t it? She beat some good wrestlers, but when she got in the ring with the great ones, she came up short. And now, in the last match of her career, she’s stepping in the ring against two legends – the biggest names she has ever faced in this business. And both she and Corey think this is somehow going to go their way.

Sorry folks. Reality called, and they want you to come home.

I took this match for two reasons. One was to honor the Dolly Waters I once knew – the wrestler I knew could be great if she just stuck with it a little longer. The other reason it to punish the Dolly Waters she has become – the ungrateful flake that hopes one big win can erase what a disappointment she had become. James took this match for the same reason – he stuck his neck out for you when you were brand new to the business, and you turned around and let him down.

None of it had anything to do with Corey. He was a complete afterthought in the entire process.

Which I’m sure pisses him off to no end. Corey is the kind of person who LOVES the spotlight. He does whatever he can to make sure it’s on him. He talks and talks and talks, and comes up with some real bullshit that he just vomits into the atmosphere, and he assumes every match is a match centered around him. After all, I’m sure he wants to win the Universal Title “on his own” – not as “Lux” and not as “The Engineer”, and I’m going to be honest, I don’t even know what the fuck any of that even means.

Like, I get the Shawn Warstein thing. He was Fuzz, but he wanted to change his name because he had gotten older and he was sober and he wanted his branding to reflect that. Great, cool. But that’s not the situation with Corey. No, he WAS Lux, but also wasn’t Lux, and he was also The Engineer, while simultaneously not being The Engineer. Going to be honest, the whole damn thing gives me a headache.

I’m not even going to pretend I know what the hell is going on in that brain, but I do know that body has won the Universal Title twice, and yet, Corey doesn’t even want to acknowledge it. It wasn’t “his”, and therefore we should completely overlook it. As far as we’re concerned, Corey Smith is a new wrestler in this business.

Am I getting that right? I hope so…because now I’m here to tell you why that’s bullshit.

There is such a thing known as muscle memory. Even if your brain is completely segmented, there is still a part of your body that retains certain physical functions. Folks with Dissociative Identity Disorder, for example, can all have different musical skills among different alters. One alter may not be able to play the violin, for example – but the body surely knows how to hold one. It knows the movements to make, even if it can’t recall the notes to make.

Corey Smith may not be Lux. He may not be The Engineer. But he carries himself like a Universal Champion. He approaches the business like someone who has done it all before. And even if he somehow got himself a brain transplant, that body still remembers. It remembers the glory of holding the Universal Title. It remembers the pain it went through to get there. And those nights that Corey lies awake in bed, and he can’t figure out why, it’s because his body is yearning for another shot at the top.

So I sure as hell aren’t going to be taking Corey for granted. I know what he can bring. I know the kind of competitor he is, and what he will do to try and win this match. There will be no false sense of security here. James and I might be fighting Corey, but we’re preparing as if we’re fighting The Engineer – we’re going into this match thinking it’s the Universal Champion on the other side of the ring with us.

And yet, despite all that…we still know we’re going to win.

Why? Well, it’s simple. The first is that Corey’s tag team partner is going to weigh him down. Dolly isn’t just the weak link in this match – an argument could be made that she’s the weak link on the entire show. Seriously, coming in after so much time away and you wrestle a match against The Prophecy? Talk about being tossed immediately into the skillet. She needed some reps first. She needed to face…I don’t know…Ash Quinn, or Lycana, or someone else further down the totem pole.

Secondly, and I don’t want anyone telling him I said this, but…James Raven is the greatest wrestler on the planet. He’s the best wrestler of today, and he’s the best wrestler of all time. If he wanted to be full time, he would be Universal Champion tomorrow, but he’s already done that. I can see why he decided to sign elsewhere. Why keep fighting somewhere where there’s nothing more to prove, when you can make a brand new audience get moist. That’s why I joined the UGWC. That, and the chicks…

…that was a joke, Ruby. Please don’t hurt me.

If I were to face Corey Smith one on one, it would be a pretty good match. I’ll even go as far as to say he might beat me. MIGHT. I’d give him a slight percentage. If I were to fight Dolly, I would be the overwhelming favorite, but hey, things happen. Someone who HAD that kind of talent must clearly still have it somewhere, so perhaps she could pull out something from her past and put on an amazing show. These two against me and a random partner? Who knows what happens?

But these two against The Prophecy? Forget it.

We are the core units of the greatest stable of all time. We walked so Apex could run. We smacked around the Black Order until they were turned to dust. We would decimate B.o.B or the Left Hand or any other group out there that wins a match or two and suddenly thinks they’re hot shit. Given all of that, this match isn’t even close.

But hey, I’m sure our opponents are saying otherwise. I’m sure Corey is over there, strutting back and forth in front of a mirror. I’m sure Dolly is completely oblivious to what her immediate future holds. I’m sure they’re both taking turns giggling about how we’re old, and beat up, and washed up, and that our time has come and gone, and they are the new generation, and yadda yadda yadda.

I’ve heard that before…I’ve heard it for the past 15 years. And yet, I’m still here, and the people who said it are gone. And that is the fate that awaits Corey and Dolly, as they are next in line to meet their…

FINAL FANTASY!!!

Threaded Mode \| Linear Mode Bringing Good Cheer
Author	Message