"HIT IT!"

"ON IT!" Lucky lowers a pair of welding goggles and drives a lever.

The crackle of electricity surging through wires, leading down into a metal tube with "SPECIAL MAN!" written on the side.


The tube surges in a orange glow until Lucky lifts the lever up to shut it down...

"It's... IT'S NOT WORKING! IT'S STILL ON!!!!" Lucky frantically lifts and lowers the lever, but it's no good; a high-pitch sound whistles from inside the tube, as it continues to glow brighter and brighter.

"WHAT!?" Johnny yells, his eyes panic towards the tube.

"DOUG! DOUG! DOUG!" Yells from the tube, shaking it in the process.

Johnny looks around the room, trying to find a way to shut this experiment down and save his collection of Battlefield Earth figurines he oddly placed next to the tube. "DAMMIT, LUCKY! THINK OF SOMETHING!"

Lucky notices one of the loose figures on the ground of Carlo from Battlefield Earth.

"NOT HIM! NOT CARLO!" Johnny yells, but Lucky has already chucked the toy at the tube.


A bright white light erupts from the tube, flashing everyone in the laboratory... I did mention they are in a lab, right?

Johnny and Lucky stare away from the light. As it slowly fades, the two look back at the tube to find..

"My...God. He's beautiful." Johnny proclaims.

"Yes. But will he behave?"


"DOUUUUUUUUUGGGGG!" Doug Dougson yells, as he thrashes around inside the tube.

"Wait.." Everyone stops... Even Doug Dougson. "Wasn't I suppose to do something?" Johnny rubs his chin, as a television magically appears in the background with XWF's Wednesday Night Warfare going on in the background, as Bobby Bourbon climbs up to thetop of the Ladder where he reaches up grabbing the Hart Title and pulls it down from the hook it’s attached too.

"I swear.. I had something important to do.."

"OH YEAH!"

"I forgot about my match!" Johnny smiles.

"Who was it against again?"

Lucky flips through some blank pieces of paper, "Atara Themis."

"Doug?" Doug Dougson utters.

"Not now, Doug! Go.. Go play with the rest of my Battlefield Earth toys. The ones that are open!" Johnny looks at Lucky, "I have lots to play with." With a smile.

"Anyways, do I have to do anything special against Atara? Like... Look at pictures of her all day in my pounding hole?"

Lucky's whiskers shutter at the sound of "Pounding Hole" and shakes his head. "Nah. Just another female that will whoop your ass."

"Ah, so nothing new? Good. Good."

Lucky looks around the lab. Sparks.... Spark out of the tube, still. As Doug Dougson plays with the Learning Chair playset of Battlefield Earth.

Johnny shakes his head and laughs, "That idiot thinks those chairs can fly!? IT'S FOR LEARNING TO FLY JETS, MORON!"

"That's it. Fuck this match. We are going to teach Doug here EVERYTHING about Battlefield Earth and the great John Travolta. Come, Doug." Johnny grabs Doug Dougson by the arm and drags him away as the scene fades to black.