(We go backstage, where "Mean" Steve Sayors is standing in front of a red fabric curtain with the "XWF" logo, in large block letters, barely taped onto it. Sayors has a cigarette in his hands, which he quickly puts out when the camera cuts to him. He holds a microphone, which he uses to speak directly to the fans at home.)

Sayors: Alright, wrestling fans. We have more exciting action coming to you. Tickets are on sale NOW for Jackson, Mississippi; Baton Rouge, Louisiana; and Little Rock, Arkansas. Purchase your tickets now, because these are sure to be a sell out. And among the wrestlers you will see coming to your hometown is my guest at this time. He is the Russian Machine, the evil Soviet, and the man looking to challenge for the XWF Television Championship. Ladies and gentlemen, Boris.

(Boris walks into frame, holding a Soviet flag over his shoulder. His trademark yellow jumpsuit has been replaced with a red one, and his usual black ushanka with his personal logo on it is now a brown ushanka with the red star of the Russian military on it. Of course, his face is still covered - even in an alternative universe, you can't know what he looks like.)

Sayors: Boris, the entire wrestling world is talking about you. Your dirty antics and some of the things you have said in recent weeks have caused the ire of XWF fans and, more important, many in the locker room. What do you have to say for yourself?

(Before Boris is able to say anything, a young, attractive blonde grabs the mic out of Sayors' hand.



The lady, identified as Svetlana because of course, gives Sayors a light shove and begins to talk in a Russian accent, which is clearly fake but since she represents a Soviet in an American wrestling federation, she'll still get heat.)

Svetlana: Boris does not have to answer for anything! You Americans are all the same - you ask so many questions. "Why, Boris, why?" Ask the comrades in the motherland!

Professional wrestling has become nothing more than a propaganda tool for the American Empire. How many men do we see walking to the ring with that disgusting American flag slung over their shoulder? It is pathetic! What do Americans have to be proud of? The crushing weight of capitalism? A war machine that refuses to leave the Middle East? Or perhaps you are proud of being fat, lazy, and stupid!

(Svetlana leans the mic over to Boris, who speaks in an even more broken accent then he normally does.)

Boris: The intelligen American in Porland respect the Boris, they say "welcome to Porland". But the dumbest one, the fattest one, they bring out the American flag, and everyone chant the "USA! USA!" The XWF, you punks - I call you punks! - look to beat the Boris on Savage Saturday! But all American wrestling city, Porland, is going to find out one more time The Boris is the best. Always will BE the best. Soviet Union, number one!

(Sayors is able to get himself in between Svetlana and Boris, and grabs the mic back from Svetlana's hands.)

Sayors: Actually, Portland is in the good ole US of A, and you're going to find that out this Saturday on Savage....

Svetlana: What is so good about it, Steve Mean? It does not matter where this match takes place - USA, USSR, or the middle of the Atlantic Ocean. The Boris is ready to fight anywhere at anytime. This is the first step for Boris, as he takes his first step towards winning the Television Championship. He will throw every wrestler over the top rope, and stand in the middle of the ring, as the glorious anthem of the Soviet Union plays for all the world to hear!

Sayors: You may be confident and Boris may be confident, but I can tell you, you're going to have a giant target on your back in Portland.

Svetlana: Good. Let them come! I want everyone to be in that ring, so Boris can show them all how wonderful he is! This mountain of a man is genetically superior to every single wrestler in that locker room. He was BORN to he a champion! And that Television Championship will look absolutely glorious over the shoulder of Boris!

These "wrestlers", they are nothing more than costumed freaks. They put on boots and an outfit and they play out their American fantasies. You know what would happen if they did that in the Soviet Union? They would be put in a mental institution! That's because, in order to be a professional wrestler in Soviet Union, you have to be an athlete. Boris is the epitome of an athletic specimen! Look at this body! 64 inch chest! 34 inch neck! What about the American wrestler? Fat belly! These American pretenders - they would not make it five minutes in Moscow ring!

Boris: I know the Porland is going to chant the "USA", but The Boris does not care. Just like all in life, Americans will be disappointment when they see true Soviet power in the ring. Слава Родине! Советский Союз номер один! Америка уступает! Борис победит!

(Boris flexes into the camera before he and Svetlana walk off. "Mean" Steve Sayors shakes his head.)

Sayors: Another controversial interview from the most controversial man in the Xtreme Wrestling Federation. More exciting action coming up!