I am in a bar near the hotel the Fed has so graciously put us up in Germany. Surprisingly enough the jukebox is one of those older models greasy with years, even decades of fingerprints. No electronic shit here. I slip in the German equivalent of a dollar and tap the buttons for Turn the Page by Metallica. I prefer Bob Seeger but when in Rome...er Germany. The opening tones greet my old ears and I make my way to the bar.

German bars are perfect for this old soul. Loud smokey and a bunch of old-timers telling stories. I would join in the conversation but my German is a Lil rusty. I light one of my trusty cigars taking in a long puff, my smoke-damaged lungs protesting the thick cloud entering them. I close my eyes letting the sounds and smells of stale smoke and beer wash over me listening to James growl out the lyrics to a song that truly, honestly describes this old man's journey to this point. I have been pretty much everywhere and done everything and ever the wiser for each choice I've made regardless of how those choices turned out.

I'm ready to shake off the road dust again and get down to a whole new business where I get bad to whip somebody's ass, which I used to do for free and love every minute of it. I have, on the long road I've traveled, ever thought about quitting. When my bandmates felt the urge to pack it in a break up the group I still had an aching in my bones to play my heart out. I was too old, they said. No one in these new metal bands wanted me, no matter how talented I was. I ended up picking up a smattering of session work here and there. It must have been from that and my brawling days which will never be behind me.

I order a shot of whiskey and a beer. Like he read my mind, the bartender left the bottle and I fully intended to find myself at the bottom of it sooner rather than later. I didn't have any inclination about nursing shot after shot, I was gonna down this sucker straight up. Hell give me a nipple and I will suck it down like a baby. While I was contemplating the meaning of life over my slowly emptying bottle of whiskey a buxom raven-haired beaut, tipsy herself slid on to the stool next to me. She offered up a hi and her name, surprisingly in English! Well, knock me over with a feather. We carried on a conversation talking about how the world and how it's gone to shit. Eventually, we got around to the meat of the convo. She invited me back to her hotel suite, A suite!! Vinny put us up in what I could only call a German motel 6. Again surprised washed over my face and she laughed a full-throated growl of a laugh I loved so much.

She offered to drive and of course, I accepted. Her car was a roaring, black as night Porche, where I just had an old rental Harley. We made our way through the amazing city of Frankfurt toward her hotel. I looked at everything like a stunned child. She laughed again and asked if I had ever been in the city before. It was my turn to chuckle. I told her I had been all over the world with my band. No surprise to me, she had never heard of it. I could smell the money and culture dripping off her like a fine perfume.

We made it through the lobby and into the elevator before the groping began. Laughing and stumbling to her room, she managed on finding the key. And well, being a gentleman, I will just leave the rest of the night to your imagination. I will say though, even cultured ladies can have a nasty freaky side.....


Well well, my first match in my new landing place and I get placed in a match with a lady. An I quit match to boot. Evidently, you have to beat the crap outta each other til one of ya breaks and says I quit. Well unfortunately for the lil lady I have never uttered those two words together ever. I don't break easily if at all. From what I can tell deep in these old bones that is still the case.

As I used to do with every venue my band went to, I have been looking at your latest interactions and the like. You seem to me like a ditsy superfan in way over her head. However, if my experience has taught me anything, it's that a lady of all things is a lot deeper than what's on the surface. What's funny to me is, I'm old school. I usually don't lay hands on a woman, unless she comes at me. I've had the cops called to often to even try it anymore. Point being the guys in the glass tower want me to beat the ever loving hell outta ya. Just remeber girlie, no hard feelings it's just business....