The scene opens to Johnny Legend in only his tan trench-coat and yellow slippers; which were originally white when new. "Come on, you son of a bitch. I know you're here." Johnny Legend sifts through some garbage with a pointy stick in his right hand. The moon's glow dominates the sky, as somewhere in an alley, out in downtown Detroit, Michigan... Johnny Legend is going nuts.

"I promise I won't hurt you and cook you, little ratty." Johnny licks his lips. "Come on! I'VE BEEN WAITING FOR AGES! LEGEND NEEDS FOOD!" His tummy gurgles.

Suddenly! The sound of little paws scatter through a used diaper and under Johnny's legs. "AREGHGHGH!" Johnny wildly stabs at the ground and in the garbage piles.

The rat runs away without Legend noticing, as he continues to stab... And stab.... And sta... You know what. Let's move ahead an hour or so? The scene cuts away...

THREE HOURS LATER

We come back to Joh..
...

This fucker is still stabbing that diaper!

Johnny Legend, sweat dripping down his, well, his whole body; continues to use what resources he can scrounge up to stab with that pointy stick of his.

"You..." Johnny huffs, "You... food... ME EAT!" Johnny yells and stabs one more time before the stick breaks in two.

Johnny falls to his knees, defeated and smelly. Tears run down his cheeks, "I'll never win.. NEVER!"

"Andrew Logan can come in here and just destroy me right now. Easy as my mom on Sunday morning. I"M DOOMED! DOOOMED!" Johnny screams into the sky with his hands in the air.

"I don't even know who I am anymore. Am I Johnny Legend or someone else? When I look in the mirro.."

A lady walking her dog strolls by Johnny as he continues to pity himself in the alley. She stops and takes a picture and continues on her day.

"...And that was only the second time Uncle Phingers slept in my room."

Johnny wipes the tears from his eyes with one swipe, "Now..Now Andrew is gonna violate me in every which way. You saw him." Johnny points to a rat standing by, watching the poor old man talk to himself.

"That guy is JACKED!"

Johnny rubs his shoulder, "Last time he whooped my ass and made me remember about where I lost my retainer in fifth grade..Under the second bleachers in the Gym."

"Anyways, my other opponents decided it wasn't worth it, Andrew. You.. You're Andrew now, you rat." Johnny points to another rat that hopped by. The rats look at one another and shrug as Johnny Legend continues doubting himself, "None of them care, Andrew. Only us! WE THE COOL GUYS! WE FRIENDS!?"

"SWEET!"

"We friends. So if we're friends why haven't you gotten me any presents!? HUH!?"

"I like presents, Andrew. I also like having friends. Which means I'm gonna do you a solid. As numero uno friend of Andrew Logan.. I'm gonna let you let me win... How's that, buddy?"

The rats shake their head to one another.

"HOT DIGGITITY!"

"YOU MADE ME THE HAPPIEST PRINCESS IN ALL OF XWF!"

Johnny turns to a none-existent camera and says, "Eat your heart out, Jenny Myst."

"Now. Felix Jones was suppose to be here. YES HE WAS!" Johnny yells directly in the face of a third rat, that is now wishing he just kept going as Johnny lifts him up and yells, "DAMN YOU FELIX! DAMN YOU!" Johnny gently sets the rat down and chuckles nervously. "Haha. Sorry, buddy.. I.. I just don't know what's wrong with me." He taps the rat on the head, and it scurries off wondering what to make of this nutjob.

"LOOK AT ME! I'm positively a mess. Goodness sake. Gosh darn diddly.... Let the big dawgs run. Know how many bowls this bran cereal will need to fill your daily fiber intake? Maybe if I keep saying stupid shit someone will give me an award..." Johnny looks at one of the rats, which wheels in a marble towards Johnny Legend. It rolls and knocks against his knee, sending it down a drain near him.

Johnny smirks and looks at the rat that wheeled said marble..

"Reeeeeeaaaallll cute. Was that an anthology.. analogy about how I lost my marbles! HUH!? Guess what! I DIDN'T! I NEVER LOSE! NEVER! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"

Rain begins to fall on this warm, humid night. As Johnny Legend laughs with madness, rats slowly circle around him.

"WHERE IS THIS INCREDIBLE ONE!?"

"WHERE!?"

"I'm here. HAHAHAA! I'M HERE!" Johnny rubs his chest.

He hangs his head in shame, "I'm always here.."

"Here to take the beatings. Here to raise the stock of others as I continue to drop into the abyss of names that everyone of these fucks have forgotten. So have your fucking heroes, XWF. Make new ones with Andrew Logan. Watch as he abandons you like the rest... Well.. Aside from Centurion. I really don't know how he is still wrestling...And still look like that... My god. I mean.. I don't swing that way.. bbbbuuttt."

The rats nod in agreement with the last remark.

"Uh.. Yeah. RELENTLESS! This event sprung up on me out of nowhere. I feel like I had less days to prepare than others...but mind ain't...TOO GOOD?" Johnny rubs his head.

"Andrew Logan is my only friend here. I mean, friends wish to end careers of other friends, right? He wished that last time and NOW I'M SPECIAL MAN!" Johnny flexes as the rats, in unison I shit you not, smack their little rat foreheads in disgust at this nutty blockhead.

"Alright.. You guys liked that? If you did, you have to give me a thumbs up." Johnny Legend asks, as he looks around the crowd of rats before him. Each look at one another and scurry away, leaving Johnny sitting in the rain, once again, begins to cry as the scene fades to black.