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Shawn Warstein · (07-07-2020)

“Warstein!!”

“No you moron… not War-steen, Warstein….”

Looking around the lobby of the hotel we are staying in one might be able to confuse it for a museum. With lavish and ornate light fixtures, art from every different period lining the walls. Guests coming and going, each one dressed as if they were heading down a runway. Then there’s Noah and I.

Tee Shirts and Jeans. High top sneakers and a hoodie for me. It was a long flight but it isn’t anything we haven’t been through before. Resting in the lobby with my feet kicked up on a table and scrolling through my phone paying no attention to all the dirty looks we are getting. When finally I look up at Noah arguing with the receptionist at the front counter.

“Trust me he’s got a room here. Warstein comma Shawn.” The man behind the counter types into his computer and turns the screen so it faces Noah.

“I’m sorry sir but Mr. Warstein doesn’t have a room at this establishment. Maybe you have the wrong Hotel?” The man turns his screen back towards himself and rolls his eyes at Noah.

“Listen here cunt… How do I have a room here and he doesn’t? He booked the rooms…” Just the moment I’ve been waiting for. You see I rather enjoy playing these little pranks on Noah. Give it a second for it to register….Wait who am I talking to? You can’t hear me… oh my god you can hear me.

“What the hell was that?” I quickly rub my eyes, and yup Noah is still there as the thought of us sharing a room finally registers. A wide eyed look from him as he turns towards me. With a big goofy smile I wave at him. I get up and walk over to the counter.

“What’s the problem son?” I slap Noah on the shoulder hard enough to knock the crutch under his arm loose. He fumbles with it for a moment holding onto the counter.

“This cunt says you don’t have a room…” Noah peers at the receptionist, and then back to me, once again with a look of dread.

“Well that’s not right.” I playfully sigh as I place my hands on my hips… when I dip you dip we dip.. classic…. wait did that just happen again? “Have you checked under Warstein?”

“Yeah he has cunt.” Noah responds for the receptionist, who nods in agreement.

“Well what about War-Steen? That’s been known to happen from time to time.” Noah clearly exasperated, and I know this because of the obviously over acted facepalm.

“Obviously Dad.” What is it with this kid? Where does he get this attitude from? Surely it can’t be genetic.. can it? Is this still happening? Better play it cool before someone notices…..

“You stroking out on me again Dad?” Noah snaps his fingers in my face and once again regains my focus.

“Yea...No. What? Just look under Afterthought Industries. Should be a top floor penthouse.” The receptionist clacks away at the keyboard as Noah stares at me with a crooked look in his eye.

“Seriously? You’re expensing this?” Noah shakes his head. “The XWF should be paying for this. And the GCWA should’ve paid for the flight, but did they? No!” The receptionist slides Noah his room key and he snatches it up in a huff.

“Here you go Mr. Warstein, penthouse, top floor.” He slides me my room key. Movin’ on up to the east side, to a deluxe apartment in the skyyyyyyy.

“Shawn is fine.”

“Very well Mr. Shawn.”

“No…. Just Shawn.” I get that he’s trying to be cordial and nice, but come on man. It’s a simple request. Gahh what is happening. I’ve got to focus right now. There’s too much at stake… focus Shawn…. Focus.

“You coming or what?” Noah yells from the elevator, crutch pinning open the door.

“Yeah.” I quickly sling my bags over my shoulder and rush towards the elevator. The second I’m in the door Noah moves his crutch as the door slowly closes. An older couple begins to come towards the door. Noah notices them and begins to jam on the close door button.

“Hold the door please…”

Noah pantomimes pressing the button, but is actually doing nothing. A small thud is heard as one of their hands hits the door just as it closed.

That was kind of a dick move, but I get it. Old people smell like moth balls, and hard candy. Man, I could go for a Werther's Caramel right now, I bet that old lady was loaded with them.

“So why do you get the penthouse and I get the standard room? If your company is paying for it why not go all the way?” Noah leans up against the wall and smiles and shrugs as he asks.

“You didn’t want the big room. You said and I quote… ‘I’m not paying extra for a room that has just me in it’... so I got you the room you wanted. Don’t blame me. I wanted to get you the penthouse next to mine.” I don’t think he remembers saying that. I love him, but god can he be thick sometimes. I try and I try, but it’s like he just doesn’t listen.

“Yeah, you’re right.” Wait did he just agree with me? That’s a first. Play it cool Shawn, play it cool. “I mean with you being single and all now, you’re probably gonna have some people over. You can’t have me cramping your style.”

“It’s not like that Noah.”

“Really? Don’t think I didn’t see the way Lissie was looking at you at Inferno.” He’s not wrong. She does have an eye for me and has said as much. That doesn't mean anything is going to happen. She is cool, smart, talented, and beautiful, but nothing is going to happen. It has nothing to do with her, but there’s still

... what the hell? Continuing on. I don’t know if anything will happen between the two of us ever again, but that’s not a risk I’m willing to take.

“Does it look like Lissie is here? Did you see her on the plane?” I said as I felt a buzz in my pocket. I pull out my phone and check a message from [redacted]... Wait did that just get censored? Hold on… His name is [redacted]... hmm...Neat.

“No but you could’ve stashed her away in the back of the plane with the rest of the plebes.” With an eyebrow raise and a head shake Noah shrugs. “I honestly wouldn’t put it past you.”

“That’s true, but you’re way off base on this. Nothing is going to happen with her and I and you know that.” Noah once again rolls his eyes, as a loud DING echoes in the elevator.

“Yeah Dad, I know. Just making sure you know.” This fucking kid is either the best of me, or he’s going to kill me. I haven’t figured out which one it is yet.

“Just go to your room, get some sleep because tomorrow we’ve got a lot of work to get done, and not a lot of time to do it.” I gently shove Noah from the elevator as the doors close, I toss Noah his bag.

What the hell is going on? Wait can you hear me?

I glance towards where a camera would be as it nods ‘Yes’.

You can? I don’t know if it’s the lack of sleep, or massive jet lag, but something just feels off. Like just look where I am right now. I’m in fucking Paris. I should be heading to the penthouse and she should be here with me, but she’s not. We should have the next week or so here just the two of us, but we don’t. She is probably being courted by now, and that’s a simple fact I have to get over.

Now that I’m here I’m going to be reminded of all the things I did for her as I take each and everything away. There wasn’t anything too outrageous, but they need to be removed nonetheless. They are all placed in places where I know she’s going to visit.

It’s imperative that I get everything. Nothing would be too difficult to find if you knew what you were looking for, and unfortunately for me…. she does.

*DING*

I quickly shake my head and stare into the doors as they open up. I step out of the elevator and glance down the hall to the left, and then back to the right. As I nod my head I begin to walk down the left side of the hallway. I reach my door and slide in my key. The little light lights up green as I twist the knob.

Walking into the penthouse I am greeted by a large open room. Artwork adorning the walls, a large couch in front of the huge windows, showing the lovely skyline of Paris, the Eiffel Tower looming in the background. The bedroom is off to the left and kitchen area right. My bags land on the ground with a loud thump.

This is the life….

Wait can you still hear me?

The camera nods ‘yes’.

That’s weird, but okay I guess. Must be the sleeping pills I took…

The camera shakes ‘No’.

Oh fuck…. it’s happening again is it?

One more time the camera shakes ‘Yes’.

Come on not now! I’ve got so much to do while I’m here. I can’t have this happening again. Wait how did I get rid of this the last time it happened… Think Shawn…. Think.

The camera pans over to my bag on the ground, and I quickly look over to it, then it pans over to the liquor cabinet next to the kitchen area.

No. I can’t. That can’t be the only way. Please just tell me there is a different way.

The camera shakes ‘No’.

Absolutely not. I refuse. There has to be another way. Or at least another way that doesn’t involve both.

The camera does what could only be described as a shrug.

Okay. Well I’ll try getting absolutely wrecked and hope that takes care of the problem.

The camera follows me to the liquor cabinet, as I pull out a bottle of Bourbon. I grab a glass and stare at it for a second before tossing it aside.

Won’t be needing that.

I pull the top off of the bottle and down the hatch it goes. My face tightens up for a moment as I check the label. Satisfied with my findings I walk over to the couch and flop down. I kick my feet up on the table in front of me and stare out into the Paris skyline.

City of Love huh?

Give me a fucking break.

The city has all the same issues as any other city in the states, but it gets overlooked because…

It’s pretty.

They deal with all the same stigmas we have, except we have morons who will never change their views. I’m glad that I’ll never be associated with them, and even more so to the point never have to interact with them.

You know what my main issue is with people that just don’t get it? It’s that they are so steadfast in their beliefs that nothing you say will penetrate that singular brain cell and change anything. People can talk about change all they want, but when it’s a one way street and you’re trying to go the opposite direction… maybe you’re the one at fault?

Hmm Nice Segway if I say so myself.

Thinking of opposites. There’s Mastermind. The one person who thinks that after so many attempts, now is his time to shine. You said that at one point you didn’t know who I was. Just some brash asshole spewing venom on everyone and thing. To a point you’re right. I do talk. (Contrary to this exact moment… is this a fourth wall break within a fourth wall break? Wasn’t this joke done somewhere else? I don’t know I can’t place it.) And I do talk a lot, but saying you didn’t know who I was….

The camera looks at me as I give it a ‘really’ face and take another swig from the bottle of bourbon.

That’s cute, because I still don’t know who you are. While you were busy rattling off how many times we have faced, I couldn’t even remember being in the ring with you. That’s how forgettable you are. I couldn’t place the exact point where we had faced off, yet there you were ready to put all of your failures on display for everyone to see.

Like I know I’m great at this, but what are you some kind of serial killer? Am I at the top of your list ready to be crossed out with red lipstick? Are you a scorned lover in the night here in Paris? Afraid that everyone has forgotten about you?

Newsflash.

No one thought about you…. ever. So Mr. Mind, what shall we do to get you noticed huh? Is it my Universal title that will finally get the stigma of failure off of you?

The camera shakes ‘No’.

Yeah ME, you’re right as usual. How do we somehow make Mastermind relevant? It’s like an impossible task that can’t be done. Like when I told

that I loved her…..

Wait was

just censored in my own head?

The camera nods ‘Yes’.

Really brain? You’re going to censor someone that is the

of my

.... Oh for fuck sake….

I grab the bottle and take another drink from the bottle.

Fine I won’t think about

, but the second you’re gone innermonologue… you can’t stop me. Back to the piece of drywall that's in everyone’s garage. You know the one I’m talking about. It’s there on the wall, unpainted, tape still visibly unsanded. It’s doing what it’s supposed to, but it’s just not right.

Yes that means you Mastermind. I just equated you to drywall. Something that is necessary in the modern world, but also something that is so easily broken that a child can do it. Don’t believe me? Go to YouTube and search it out. Millions of views on children breaking drywall, for no other reason than because they can.

And that’s what is going to happen on Warfare. I’m going to beat the living piss out of you…

Because I can.

And as you have pointed out, already done on three separate occasions. There isn’t anything you can do that would surprise me…

Wait, I take that back. There is one thing.

You could finally sell that shit that says “Fuzz mastered Mastermind’s Mind x 3” but just like cross out the three and replace it with a 4.

One more down the hatch.

It’s not even fun talking shit to you. It’s as if I’m picking on the handicapped. Sure it’s easy, but is it right? Of course not. It’s despicable and inhumane. Then I hear you talk yourself up like you are a threat to me, and then I HAVE to. Then I have to tell you that you are nothing more than dog shit on the bottom of my shoe. I have to get the hose out and risk ruining my J’s because you had to open your mouth.

In today’s day and age, I’ve learned to tune out the racists and bigots. You as far as I know are neither of those, good for you. It’s just that you talking a big game is going to get you stomped out as if you were one. I’m going to take all the hatred in this world that I feel, and I’m disposing all of it on you.

#AllLivesMatter.

Boot in your ass

#ICanBreath

Boot in your ass

#TheSouthShallRise

Boot in your ass.

If I were you Mastermind I’d pay attention to what’s going on in the world around you. With so many social issues going on everytime I see someone post one of those hashtags, you’re going to get a boot in the ass. Heaven forbid something else tragic happens… for your sake…

I flip on the TV and take another shot of bourbon to the dome. The news is running a story about a black man who was held against his will and threatened with a lynching in Bloomington Indiana. (Look it up if you don’t believe me. This world is in Chaos, and yet certain people are allowed to act like this and get off free with video evidence?)

Sorry Mastermind….

There’s another one.

I finish the bottle, and slowly begin to pass out on the couch. The bottle falls from my hand with a clink clink on the hardwood flooring as my hand falls lifelessly off the side of the couch next to it.

————The Next Morning————

The sun rises up over the city. The sun beaming directly into my face as I try to shield my eyes.

“Oh come on…” Rolling over on the couch and placing a pillow over my face. “I asked for a room not facing east. How fucking hard is that of a request?”

I quickly roll over into my back and begin to slam my arms and legs against the couch, much like a toddler would do if they didn’t get their way. Eventually I roll off of the couch and drag myself to the kitchen. I flip the coffee pot on and lean up against the counter.

**Knock**

**Knock**

The sound radiates through my skull as I shuffle to the door. I peek through the peephole and see Noah standing there as he reaches his hand back to knock again.

“Don’t you fucking dare.” I growled from the other side of the door while unlocking and opening it.

“You look rough.” He said as he hobbled his way into the room, and when he did his mouth was agape at the sheer size of the room. “Oh fuck me cunt! My room is basically a closet with a bathroom. This place is bigger than me mums.”

Noah heads towards the couch as I pour myself a cup of coffee. I sit down adjacent to him and take a sip.

“Noah….” He looks towards me and raises his eyebrows. “Have you noticed anything different about me recently?” It takes him a moment to respond.

“Nah cunt. You’re still the same old miserable asshole you were before you met Atty.” I nod my head.

“Good. That’s good to hear.” As I lean back in my spot and taking a sip of my coffee.

With that the camera fades to black.

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