Chicago, Il 11:48am

Noah and Insat there in the living room. Television playing all the updates on the news. Neither one of us were paying any attention to it. We were both in our heads, not knowing what to say to one another. Which is odd considering how easily our conversations usually flow. Along with all the shenanigans. Nope this time, a bomb with a timer was dropped off in the room and neither of us wanted to cut the wrong wire.

“ So what are you going to do?”

I didn’t know the answer to that question. There is so much at stake, so much on the line, yet it goes much deeper than that. Everything's on me and I’ve been in this situation and have folded faster than a house of cards on a windy day.

“I don’t know.”

And I didn’t. I’ve honestly been dead set on leaving for a while now, but this…

“It’s just I’ve an opportunity to fix some things from the past and attempt to make them right.”

Noah looked at me and took a deep sigh. I know what he’s going to say, but I’m not going to like it.

“I mean he’s your son too.”

That’s the kicker in all of this. He has a brother that I’ve only mentioned in passing, if he even noticed at all. He already has a brother with his mom in Australia. Yet Jacob, he wouldn’t know from anyone else in the crowd.

“I mean, if I have another brother, I want you to do everything possible for you to have a relationship with him. Hell it's selfish but I want to have a relationship with him.”

He’s right. I hate it when he’s right. For how much shit I give him on a weekly basis, he turned out okay. A little rough around the edges, but aren’t we all? If he turned into this person not knowing me, how bad would it be if I didn’t choose Jacob and Julie?

“Yeah but you know what that means right?”

“Yeah. I do.”

“Then you know why I can’t.”

The pressure of everything all at once, I can feel it breaking me slowly. Noah found me, and helped me when I was down and out. Then she came into the picture. Sure it was a weird way of meeting, and sure my cat is dead now, but those eyes.

Comforting. Inviting. Relaxing. I can just be Shawn around her. I don’t have to live up to the million monikers that I’ve had over the years. She just wants to be with me. It’s been a very long time since I’ve had someone in my life like that.

The last person was Julie. When we first met it was like I was on cloud nine. I had just won the Universal title, I was the face of the XWF, and above all else I was happy. We must have been in the honeymoon phase for what seemed like years. I brought her everywhere, every show, appearance and signing. Eventually over time she became my manager because life on the road was tough to keep up with everything. I never told her how much I made doing this, and then she had controlling interest in it all.

Soon after we were married and Jacob wasn’t far behind. I watched him grow. I took three years off just to be home with them. I did that for myself, but more so for them. I wanted to be there, that was truly the last time I was happy. Then IT happened.

I had gotten surgery on my knee, and took the painkillers to help with the pain. I felt a release every time I popped one of those pills. At first it wasn’t an issue. Slowly over time as my body healed itself and the pain was gone, I’d get the shakes. I knew what it was, but I just ignored it. I did whatever I needed to in order to get my fix.

I was rich, and influential. Nobody could say no to me, and I took full advantage of that fact. I thought I was hiding it well, but Julie could see through it the second something wasn’t the way it was supposed to be.

Bless her heart. She tried. She really did, but I wasn’t in the place where I was listening to reason. It wasn’t long that the divorce papers were drawn up. She took everything from me. The houses, the cars, half the money from selling the XWF. Controlling interest in all of my other side businesses. All of that didn’t matter, she took away the one thing I could never forgive her for.

Jacob.

Named after my uncle, my mom's brother. I never knew my father and now neither would he. Born just days away from his birthday it seemed fitting. The only thing I ever wanted was for him to know that I wanted to be there. I was so messed up that I just went along with everything, and lost the most important title I could’ve ever had.

Father, Dad.

I wrote to him weekly, and still do. I know I’m old fashioned but it’s the only way I knew how to speak to him. I told him everything. All the ups and downs, and everything in between. If I wasn’t going to be there, I just wanted him to know that I wanted to be there. Yet over the years I neger once got a response.

It has taken me a very long time to get to this point, but I had accepted that he would never be a part of my life, yet like clockwork everything changed.

I had made up my mind. I am leaving. I’m not coming back and it’s for her. No matter how much we playfully fight, it’s never serious. No matter how much I get on her nerves, she’s still there. No matter what.

Until that day. The day Julie said those words that I wanted to hear for so long. The words I’ve craved to hear, only for the rug to be pulled taught under me. Waiting for the one mistake, the one flaw Julie didn’t like and it would all be gone. I’m a snap of her fingers, I could easily just fall right back into the same pattern, the same routine.

“But you’ve at least got to contemplate it, if not for you, then for him.”

“......”

“Look I know who you are. I know what is going through your head. The second you found out you were my dad, all bets were off. You were there for me, and I’ll be there for you. No matter what you decide.”

“Thanks Noah.”

“Buuuuuuut, I’m not sure how Atty’s going to respond to that.”

“That makes two of us.”

The decision is easy. It was always a no contest. Her. Always her. I can’t get away from her. From watching her waking up in the morning, still as beautiful as ever. From waking me up early with her morning texts. To wait all day just to talk to her for a few fleeting seconds. All of that just because she was always the choice.

I know that it wasn’t a good look when I didn’t pick her up, and even worse when she sees me with another woman. Then shooing her away. I didn’t do that because of her, I did that because of me. I know exactly how I get around Julie, and I didn’t want her to see that side of me.

“I just hope she listens to me. This morning she just up and left. Said she was going to the gym and that she’d be back later.”

“Did you talk to her about everything?”

“I tried.”

“And?”

“I tried.”

The Afterthought

So there it is.

A month long wait for someone….

Fucking Anyone to say a word to me. From being booked twice on Savage and once on Anarchy…

You are the first person to address me in a month. And I must say….

I am very underwhelmed. I was expecting something great. Something with so many jabs that I’d actually have to bob and weave. Instead what I got was a pitiful attempt at self deprecation. Knowing you’re going to lose isn’t anything we all haven’t already known. Being the quirky little cunt, who says they would rather be title less than have one…

Come on.

We all know better. That fact that you said that Zane deserves a shot...Next you’re going to say a Blackwater… you didn't? Oh fuck you did. It’s like you’re just killing names of people you like and throwing them against the wall in hopes that one of them sticks.

Shame.

I’d be more than willing to fight all of them. At once. Zane, Az, all 9000 Blackwaters, you, and whatever other sideshow freak you have hiding behind the curtain just waiting to get stomped.

So yes I’m going to enjoy getting another victory. And calling me a “snowflake”? I don’t get it, and you’re entitled to your opinion, no matter how wrong they actually may be. But let’s just get one thing perfectly clear I don’t give a fuck what you think of me.

I don’t care what Theo thinks of me.

Or Vin.

Or Raven.

Or anyone on the roster not named Atara, Noah or Vita.

They are the only people whose opinions mean a damn thing to me. They keep me in line from stepping over the line and exposing everyone in this fucking place. You think just because I was gone that I don’t know all the dirty little secrets? You’re wrong. I just choose to keep them close to the vest.

But that’s not usually my MO now is it? Most of the time when I get some information I’d spout it out from the mountain tops. I would tell everyone and anyone that would listen to my plight. For some reason I decided against it. I wanted to play nice. I am a Legend here after all, and don’t need to cause waves to get what I want. It’s all a matter of waiting and eventually everything would go my way.

I’m finally able to walk out of those doors under my own volition. Too many times have I been dragged out, carried out, or kicked out. This time I’m going to walk out, with my head held high knowing that I took the high road for once in my career.

So yes while you are unfortunately one of my last matches here take solace in the fact that no one thinks I’m leaving. I mean how more transparent do I have to be?

I signed on to do two TV shows.

A fucking Tournament for Splat.

I talked about it on a podcast.

And yet not everyone thinks I’m gone. I’ve made my choice. I know what’s next and it doesn’t involve the XWF and all of their skeletons in the closet. No. It’s me and her. I mean honestly you’re not worth my time. I would rather go to China and have the entire country sneeze in my face. Come home with Corona and go into isolation for the next two weeks, than say anything more about you. You pathetic, miserable waste of energy and resources. You and all you’re little friends are a plight on society and need to be extinguished from existence. I may not be the person to do it right now, but your fucking time will come.

One last thing before I leave.

If you don’t think Noah bought me a “World’s Okayest Dad” mug….

Then you don’t know a damn thing.




——OOC: Sorry this one is shorter than usual, but I just wanted to get this story out before I prep for MM. I wrote and rewrote this thing 7 times before I scrapped it for what you see here. Anyways Thanks.————