"People are like... Damn, bitch, did you see that? Scully just got owned by Noah Jackson! He got burnt, get the fuckin' Savlon! Should I visit my local burn centre or burn unit? Whatever you wanna call it?! Was the burn that bad like my trash talking is? I mean shall I just hang myself now like suggested? I mean Noah wants me to kill myself right?

Well fine, I'll do it then!

Mourn not the passing of a life well lived, yet celebrate. Count the times your souls smiled together, reached out so invisibly yet tangibly and touched. Death is only the end of a chapter, my friend. And so as this body makes ready to return to the soil, my spirit will watch over you and live in your heart. It will bring sadness as we transform to this new way of connecting, yet this is part of living."

The camera continues to focus on the top half of Scully. He grabs a rope that is hanging from the ceiling, already noosed up. Skull had noosed a coil of rope around his neck, he looked into the camera with a smirk. The next part will be devastating to some, to Scully's fiancee and little son, Aston. Skulls friends and Flock of Tards. Skull was about to the unthinkable, live on XWF Television for the world to see. The camera remained at the top half of Scully, as he steps forward, the creek of whatever he stood on could be heard and......

Skull drops! Whatever he was stood on falls over. He gasps for air as the rope tightens, Skulls body quivering repeatedly for what seems like ages... His face looking like a tomato as the blood rushes to face, his veins popping out. The camera zooms out slightly, moving swiftly to Skulls bare legs, only for his body to suddenly stop.

Da End, Scully is DEAD!!!!!!!

The camera zooms out and Skulls is hanging from the landin

Curtista enters all shocked as he sees his friend, has hung himself. He runs up, holding Scully's legs. The fallen wooden chair laid on the floor. Curtista panics.

"No! No! Why? Scully?!

My friend! My best pal in the whole wide world. What have you done? All because some mopheaded little cockfaced tart!"

Curtista then looks into the camera, calmly...

Curtista: "For reenactment fairs, we had a brace & harness construction made from a parachute rig, i.e. all stress on the body, none on the neck. The noose was not connected to the rope with any more than a glob of wax. Had the rope snapped, the nose would come off with no more than a light tug on the neck. As additional safety, the hands of the "hanged" were not cuffed as we made believe; the "hanged" held them in place behind his back.

Well done, Scully. Would anything have happened and his hands dropped (e.g. unconsciousness), that would have been the sign for immediate abort!"

Curtista grins, props the chair back up for Skull before walking away. Scully smiles, his eyes open as he looks through the noose.

"HERE'S SCULLY!

Hahahahaha. GOTCHA!

Failed XWF wrestler and now..... Failed attempt at suicide. Oh wait... It wasn't failure because it was a fake suicide. That was about as fake as Noah Jackson's pathetic relationship with his fake dad. Oops, I said it. Out loud! Fuck you, Noah Jackson you little toe sniffer!

'Hey, you old man, Fuzz, pretend to be my dad please? I don't know my real father, he bummed me and ran off with my brother. Plus I don't know anyone! I'm just a sad little CUNT!'

Oh no... Poor baby! Newsflash: Or was that actually Fuzz who did that? So this incest between you and papa bear is real? Gross! Here I was, thinking... Ouch that hurts! Thinking, when Rain and Snow left, we'd NEVER see any of that inbred shit again! Damn. I was wrong. This is the XWF afterall, what else do we expect?!

I bet Fuzz was disappointed when you came to him wasn’t he? A ladyboy as his child. You’re a Shiela mate! At least you might get a good seeing to from Barney Green. Call me Tinder/Grinder whatever it would be for you. Lux/Engineer whatever he/she is now isn’t the only one! So that little pushing, fanny fight in your first promo, that was fake right? It couldn't have been real, right? Cuz you fight like a pair of sissys, who are arguing over a handbag! That was shit acting by you and Fuzz for that matter, not like that display of MY nominee award winning material that I just produced. Thank you, thank you very much.

So erm... Yeah, great job asshole at overusing the word... 'CUNT!' AGAIN! Everytime I hear you speak, it's like the record is broken. 'CUNT TITS! CUNT FACE! CUNTING, CUNT CUNT!' I think we've established you love the 'C' word. Not cancer, although you should get that and die! So I'll 'C U NEXT TUESDAY' yeah? You're not a cunt though Noah, so please refrain yourself from calling yourself that. Cunts are useful!

You heard of the Valleys? Not sure if you're familiar with a place called Wales? Of course, there's a Wales in Australia but I'm not talking about that one mate. Not the one where currently all those poor animals are dieing cuz of the fires. Not that you seem to give a fuck about your own country, you yankee doodle wannabe! I bet even Mastermind, who is from New Zealand, a totally different country is down under helping out the Kangaroos, whilst your sat in Fuzz's bumhole, acting like none of it is happening. Shame on you!
As I was saying, before I rudely interrupted myself; Wales.. The home of the sheepshaggers. No I never said home of the paedophiles, I'm not talking about where your peado mate, Rolf Harris's parents originated. Although, the lead singer of Lost Prophets is from the Wales I am referring too.
I'm talking about Wales in the United Kingdom. Sir Tom Jones and fuckin' Gavin and Stacey, you didgeridouche! Anyways shrimp, you'll like this part...

Do you know how you say '100' in Welsh? You should ask Alexa, she'll tell you!"

"Whilst we all seen Noah Jackson verbally abuse me and heard that same young man shit all over my name. Noah you mentioned this XWF Television Championship match being some return of mine or summat or other, how you've had all of 28 matches in the XWF? Wow. Did you hear that? Must be a world record. Or an XWF record at least?! That's sarcasm by the way. March 2019 we seen some fish faced vagina make his debut in the Xtreme Wrestling Federation. Hanging on to his fake dad and not actually winning the XWF Tag-Team Championships. What a dominating team you are?! Don't talk to me about being a team, I am a three time Tag-Team champ!

Anyway you get your chance at the Tag-Team Championships, don't you? Fuzz presents; Cunt-Fest and you two get a shot. And you questioned this title shot? The one I earned? Saying management can't dislike me? And how you've got a problem with them? Again; FAKE! Once again, you contradict yourself. You got your own pay-per-view for fuck sake!

Apparently I only had three matches in 2019. Just three! It proves Noah Jackson chats shit because I had more matches than that. Granted I lost a few of them, won fewer but hey to your disappointment I'm still here and I ain't dead. And more importantly, you lied! Not only that but you lost some yaself, dickhead! In no particular order; 2019 I returned AFTER an injury, defeated both Equinox and Broken Oswald in a Triple threat. Beat Thaddeus Duke, NAZI, both in singles competition. Lost to Dolly Waters for the Hart title. I had a competitive match with Tony Santos for the XWF Hart Championship again, sure I lost but I gave it a good go. Wargames winner. Lost to Robbie Bourbon. Me and Boris lost to one of my Savage opponents, Big D and your fake dad, Fuzz in the lotto. Lost to Centurion, who pinned Azrael in a five-way match I was in. Lost to a cheating Unknown Soldier, who was so fucked up from our match, he let Lux/Engineer take the Uni. Obviously beat Thunder Knuckles, Donovan Blackwater and Kieron Overton for the number one contender match for the TV title, not that I get a one on one match but hey ho, still gonna win regardless. Then I’ll fuck Cunty-Fest up! And you can just have your tag title match, I'm nice like that, you will no longer be doing double duty. So yeah I never had many matches but I am fucking part-time, you dumb bastard! I have a part-time contract, I’ll fight when I fuckin want! Plus guaranteed you won’t be here this time in 2021. #justsaying."

Suddenly it all goes black, darkness reveals itself and the viewers can't see anything. After a few moments, the lights come back on and Scully's head is no longer in the noose. Instead he has a big, silicone dildo stuck on his forehead and is wearing a Barney the dinosaur T-shirt.

"Imagine being a Big Dickhead? Well Big Dave don't have to wear a dildo on his forehead, cuz he has a real, big cock on his already. Because like I said, he's a Big Dickhead with the face of a ballbag! It sure makes up for the teenie, weenie one down below. But hey like you said, all of your pathetic excuse of a life, people have been referring to you as Little D. Not because you have a maggot downstairs and you refuse to stand next to other men in the mens toilets. Refuse to stand next to others at the urinals. You don't want the other men to see you put your hand in your pocket to pull your tweezers out? Hence why you use the bog and sit down like a lady, to take a pee!

So you called me the worst wrestler in the XWF? Wow, all these five-star matches I put on and I'm rubbish right? Because you said so?! You know what makes it worse? If Noah somehow pulls this out the bag, YOUR gonna be the one who gets pinned. Cuz you suck! The only reason you're in this match, as a scapegoat. But like I mentioned, Noah will NOT be winning this match and you will also have to look on as a NEW XWF Television Champion is crowned. Please don't cry again though Big D, hold it in this time and wait till you take your sorry ass to the back. Don't flood the ring with your tears. Don't ruin my moment as I stand in the middle of the ring, with the XWF TV Championship held up high. Cuz if you do, I will stick your head up your rear end and kick you out of the ring!

Thanks for that shitty interview by the way. Number one; It had Steve Sayors and number two; It had you blubbering on for what seemed like an eternity.

'Well, Scully is just one of two opponents in this match.'

Well you don't say?! Wow, nothing gets past you does it nobhead?! Did you think that up all by yourself? What a clever guy you are! Stating the obvious. It is a triple threat, 3-way dance, whatever you wanna call it so normally there is three people involved. A bit like a threesome but this is non-sexual. This is just an all out fight. So you will get battered Big D, just like a fish.

Nice suggestion by the way, Big Dickhead. So not only will I be doing things for the people with special needs of the world but also the people of the old folks home? What a caring guy I am?! I mean sure I can tell them how I went on Saturday Night Savage and beat the living shit out of some fanny called Big D. I'm sure they'll like to hear all about that one. They will probably ask me, 'D? Who da fuck is Big D?!' But regardless, I will tell them all about you. They will certainly turn there hearing aids down then.

'Trying to make people believe he was an equal to guys like Robert Main, Vinnie Lane, and the Engineer......... the REAL Engineer.'

Erm.... I never said any of those things, although I did beat Vinnie Lane. For the Uni. Not only that but Vinnie Lane NEVER beat me once in his career. Not that we had loads of matches by the way but nonetheless, he never did. People remind me of my negative record around here, so I like to remind them of my positive ones too. I don't think I am the greatest ever, I know my XWF career has gone downhill since probably 2017. But just for the record, where's your achievement of holding the XWF Universal Championship? Oh wait, you haven't and I bet you NEVER will!

"So tune in to Saturday Night Savage and watch as we crown a NEW XWF TV Champion....

ME!

#MADE4TV

DA END, SCULLY HAS SPOKEN!"

Skull smirks into the camera and dishes out a cheeky wink as we fade out.