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Boris · (01-07-2020)

"I do not think this is going to be helpful, Antoli."

The Federation of Xtreme Wrestlers is hosting the Super World Games or something, and I am a big part of them blin. Flying the flag of Slovakia, I will be participating in two events. These events demand strength, skill, and the cunning of a Slav warrior.

And yet, I am pulling a refrigerator.

Antoli thought this would help Boris be prepared for the War Tug competition, and like a debil I agreed with him. This was after Antoli's smart idea to have me pull a Lada, only for him to slam on the gas and nearly take my arm off. Cyka blyat, he nearly ripped my tracksuit! What would I have done then?

Now I am in a field, pulling a Maytag. wondering where my life has taken me.

I stop, as I could not breathe anymore blin. Boris has put in much work the past two weeks to prepare for these games. I open the refrigerator door and pull out a beer.

"Antoli, I do not think pulling a refrigerator will make me more prepared for the War Tug blin. It is team sport."

Antoli looks at me with his debil face, confused as to what I mean. He is used to Boris fighting alone, or with tag partner in ring. He is not used to me being on a team. Aye, but Slavs are good at working in a team. If you need someone reliable, hire a Slav!

And for the final event of the Games, I could not ask for better partners! I have Robbie Burton, a man who is very strong, and very powerful! He has Slav strength, and he does not seem like Western spy. Oy, Robbie may be strongest man in competition!

And I also have Peter Gullmore, who...

...

Anyway, I do not need to go alone, which is why this exercise makes no sense. I don't even know how we got the refrigerator all the way out here, comrades! We drove a Lada! For those of you in America, that is not a big vehicle blin.

But maybe Boris is wrong. Maybe this is why I needed to get ready for this War Tug. It is main event of these Games, and I need to do all I can to win. A victory in the War Tug is a victory for all Slavs! This is bigger than any wrestling match blin. the Title of the Universe should be on the line in this competition! If you can out tug your opponents, you should be champion blin!

I finish my beer and grab the rope of the refrigerator once more. I do not know where this kitchen appliance will end up blin, but I do know, once Boris is done, all the little Gopniks everywhere will cheer for joy as one of their own out tugs the Federation of Xtreme Wrestlers!

Oppa! Stay cheeki breeki, comrades

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