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B.O.B. D · (12-07-2019)

Why did I choose 'Notorious' Ned Kaye to be my Tag Team partner?

To most people, it doesn't make any sense. I could've had the choice of ANYONE on the XWF roster, from former Hart Champion Tony Santos to the current Universal Title holder, Lux. There aren't many people who'd pass up a free shot at gold, so why did I pick the opposing Team Captain from my War Games match, the man who also kept me from winning the 24/7 briefcase at Leap of Faith?

Because I KNOW I can rely on him.

When you look at the events of Lethal Lottery, you'd THINK I'd be furious with Ned, but on the contrary, I'm actually GRATEFUL. Noah proved he was the better cunt that night, and the match was over BEFORE Ned came out and threw in the towel on my behalf. Had he not done so, I might not be here right now. Ned saw the bigger picture and, knowing I couldn't fend for myself anymore, saved me from a beatdown that might've prevented me from showing up for our Title match. Ned knew I had aspirations that surpassed the TV Title, and he looked out for me when I couldn't even look out for myself. And that's exactly what you want in a Tag Team partner.

Ned Kaye is such an honorable person, even a complete d-bag like myself can't help but respect him. He's the future of this company and passing up the opportunity to work with him would be a HUGE mistake. He may not be Lux or Tony Santos, but he's the man who fought Santos up until his last moment of consciousness; and he's the one wrestler I'd bet my hard earned dollars on to dethrone Lux. While I was watching War Games from the back, Ned was still out there fighting his heart out against odds he couldn't possibly overcome. But did that stop him? NO! He could've thrown my ass off the rafter at Leap of Faith, but instead he offered me his word. And Ned Kaye doesn't break his word. If that had been anyone else, I would've lied to their face and thrown them to their death the MOMENT I had my chance. But I didn't. And although I paid for it in the end, I wouldn't go back and change it, even if you told me it'd win me that briefcase!

Ned doesn't sell himself, or anybody else for that matter, short. I attacked him during a match and he not only fought me off, he also won! I left him laying, broken, outside the ring after and then went on to beat him at War Games. He didn't HAVE to be my partner, and honestly, he probably SHOULDN'T! I haven't always been the most honest guy in the past, and I've betrayed my fair share of partners along the way. Despite this, Ned is willing to take the chance, knowing I give him the best chance of capturing his first Championship. That kind of faith can go a long way, especially for someone as cold as me. I give Ned my word, just like he gave me HIS at Leap of Faith, that I won't betray his trust.

I see alot of myself in Ned Kaye. Just a young kid trying to make a name for himself in one of THE most cut-throat businesses there is. The nature of the game hasn't changed his perspective on life, as it has me. I wasn't always a prick, I used to be a good-hearted human being who always looked on the bright side. Over time, my attitude evolved into what it is today; something I truly hope never happens to Ned. It's not easy watching people you KNOW you're better than constantly get pushed while you lull around in limbo, wondering why you're even there in the first place? Ned is a star in my eyes, but I don't feel the rest of the XWF feels that way. While he DOES have a 24/7 briefcase, you can tell that no-one looks at him as the man who could become Universal Champion at any second. And that's a damn shame, because it's exactly how people looked at ME back in the day. It didn't matter what I did(back then OR now), I was just another body there to fill space on the card. Well, me and Ned are much more than just another blank face in the XWF lockeroom and we're gonna prove it next Saturday night!

This is a big opportunity for me to rebound from my loss at Lethal Lottery, but it's an even BIGGER opportunity for Ned. He doesn't know what it feels like to hoist gold high above your head, knowing you've just staked your claim as one of the best in the company. As someone who's had 32 Title reigns over a span of 24 different Championships, I can tell you each one is special in it's own right; but none of them compare to your first. The moment you've accomplished something most wrestlers can only DREAM of. A piece of history that can never be erased, forever in the record books to show you were better than your average jobber. Though Ned had won his briefcase, it would all be for naught if he doesn't win the BELT. No-one can say that about you once you've held gold, you'll always have the proof that you were among the elite. It'll always be the first highlight they show when they do a retrospective of your career and, if you're lucky, it won't be the last

But this is about much more than the Tag Team Championships. I know how important Sarah Lacklan is to this company, and it's not without warrant. March Madness winner, MVP of my War Games team, first ever Anarchy Champion, AND current Tag Team Champion. Her resume far exceeds both Ned's AND mine's combined; no doubt we'd be runners-up to her IF there was a Star of the Year award. And for that very reason, picking up a victory over her would be HUUUUUGE for both of ours careers.

The thing is, though...............those accomplishments are a thing of the past! Sarah Lacklan has been on a downward spiral for the last month or so, and it's only gonna get worse come Savage. A bitch who is SOOOOO full of herself, she can't accept the world around her! She whines and complains about fucking everything(EXCEPT Kenzi's caramel-colored skin), despite having everything handed to her on a silver platter! Whether it's daddy's money or her spot on the card, Sarah Lacklan is given more gifts than kids on Christmas! Now, she'd be the first to deny being friends with Vinnie, but the evidence shows otherwise. As someone who teamed with both of them at War Games, I can atest that their chemistry was almost BETTER than her's and Kenzi's. No wonder they call him 'Loverboy.'

Practically since she arrived, Lacklan's been the face of Anarchy, despite having the personality of a Kardashian. Don't get me wrong, the talent's there, it's just that everytime she gets on a mic I want to have my ears surgically removed! It doesn't matter to me that she won March Madness, I wasn't in it, hence why she was able to become 'The Queen.' She got handed a bye in the 1st Round of the Tag Team Tournament, despite her team NEVER(as far as I know) competing in XWF before. Call me Fuzz, but that makes ME want to see the brackets!

Sarah Lacklan used to be good, but there's the keywords: USED TO BE. As of late, she's been on such a downward slope you'd think she was on a ski trip! A few months back, she lost to Robbie fuckin' Bourbon, EASILY the worst Universal Champion of all-time(yes,even worse than Gilly!). A man who doesn't need an official action figure, as you can pick up a lookalike at your local Dollar General for $1.99! Sarah Lacklan lost to THAT guy!!!! Though, I'm sure she had a valid excuse........ she probably saw an old person in the crowd and she was SOOOO disgusted, she couldn't focus on the task at hand. Or maybe she was having her period. I don't know what's worse: losing to Robbie or getting embarrassed by an obvious Kickass knockoff! Ruby?! SERIOUSLY?!?! It seems being covered in trash is the LEAST of Sarah's worries lately. Maybe Vita Valenteen WAS the real Anarchy Champion?

Sarah's gold is leaving her faster than a teenage boy finding out his girlfriend is pregnant. The Federweight belt, Anarchy Title, and soon to be the Tag Team Championship........ after Savage is over, all Sarah Lacklan will have left will be her money. She's gonna learn a lesson in humility, as two guys who she views as inferiors pick at her remains like vultures to a corpse! We're gonna finish off what Robbie Bourbon started, and Ruby continued at Lethal Lottery. By the time Notorious BIG is done with her, Lacklan's gonna be blubbering in a pile of her own filth; unable to accept the fact her fall from grace came faster than her rise TO it. Alas, Sarah Lacklan is only one half of the 5'2 Mafia. While she may be the better of the two(Shawn Michaels to Kenzi's Marty Jannetty so to speak), we can't forget about her wife.

Kenzi Grey was a late bloomer in XWF, not making the jump until months after Lacklan already had. One can only assume the heavy competition was a big turn off for her; which would explain why, the moment she had the chance to be carried to a Tag Team Title run by her wife, she was all over it. I'm sure the free bye in the 1st Round helped, as well.

Kenzi's so keen on avoiding competition, she's barely done ANYTHING since becoming Champion, INCLUDING not having a match at the most recent Pay-per-view. I can only assume it's because she can't wrestle without Sarah by her side; although, from what I've seen, she really can't wrestle WITH Sarah by her side, either! If the 5'2 Mafia were half the competitors everyone makes them out to be, they would've defended their belts at Lethal Lottery, despite it meaning Lacklan being double booked. I'VE been double booked multiple times in my career, and everyone thinks I suck, so what's THEIR excuse?! Last time I was double booked, I won a World Championship. The time before that? I became a Triple Champion. I guess the 5'2 Mafia can't measure up to the 6'1 D, huh?

Kenzi Grey is nothing more than Sarah Lacklan's shadow, a little puppy following it's master around, begging for scraps. If it wasn't for her wife, she'd be nothing. I wouldn't even be TALKING about her right now, if not for Sarah! If it weren't for her being latched at Lacklan's teat, we'd probably see Vinnie Lane as Sarah's partner, instead. Hell, maybe HE'D be her wife, too! Maybe if she spent more time in the real world than on Twatter, she'd be able to make a name for HERSELF rather than mooching off her significant other. If she was gonna ride the Lacklan name so hard, she should've just dropped the 'Grey-' from her name! I can only assume she kept her maiden name attached was so everyone would associate her with success! Pathetic.

Kenzi Grey-Lacklan is held in higher regard than I am, and that is absolute bullshit! The one time XWF Tag Team Champion, who got it by skipping a match and facing the bottom of the barrel teams with even worse names like The Sick Cunts' and 'The Arm Collectors.' THAT'S what she's reduced to, beating up on special kids to get herself over. THAT'S how SHE wins Championships! And for some reason, everyone adores her for it!

What have I done in the last seven months? Captained a winning War Games team(LEADING Lacklan to victory!), became Xtreme Champion despite over whelming odds, won the TV Title AND ended Thad Duke's XWF career in the process! I've stolen one queer's belt, might as well take two........at the same time!

Kenzi, you haven't accomplished ANYTHING compared to me here. You don't deserve ANY of the respect management, AND the fans, give you. You've been around for five minutes and everyone treats you like royalty, all the while looking at me like I'm some sort of peasant! No matter what I do, whatever Championship I win, it'll never be enough. I held the second most prestigious Title in the company, ONE STEP AWAY FROM THE TOP, and nobody gives a fuck! Isuck because I lost that belt to the man who not only STILL has it, but also won Lethal Lottery AND has a 24/briefcase to show how great his Title reign has been????? He's almost guaranteed to be the next Champion, when he loses to Lux the first time, he's going to cash in and cheap shot her. And THAT is what I get measured by. Everyone judges me because I bought a Title shot I rightfully deserved in the first place, and don't give a shit that I ended up WINNING it. I get looked upon like every reign I've ever had means nothing. When I was told the Heavymetalweight wasn't enough, I won the Federweight belt. Then they told me 'those belts don't matter', so I become the coveted Xtreme Champion and there's more fucking excuses. I lost it in my first defense, therefore I wasn't a good Champion. Fuck me for all those pin attempts I kicked out of over the course of those three weeks! People came at me left and right, and not only did I thwart their attempts, I looked a million times better than Fuzz when I did! And it STILL wasn't e-fuckin'-nough! I get screwed out of the TV Title in my first opportunity, thanks to Mastermind, and I'm shamed for wanting another one! Nobody gives a rats ass about circumstances, they just look at results. But then, when I GIVE them results, I have to do more.

THAT'S why I'm backing out of the TV Title Chamber Match on Warfare. People will accuse me of being afraid of claim I don't have any balls, but I don't give a shit! I didn't come out of retirement to be second best, I came here to win it all!!!! At this point in my career, any belt besides the Universal is a failure in my eyes. It's taking me nowhere and isn't worth the wear and tear on my body. I've held a version of every belt in this company over multiple points in my career and I have no desire to ever again.

With one exception...............

I WANT the World Tag Team Titles! Not just for me, but for Ned, as well. I can only imagine the path my career would've gone down had someone shown ME the kind of faith that I have in Ned. Maybe I wouldn't be such a Big Douchebag. MAYBE. Ned Kaye deserves his opportunity and I'm bringing it to him while I have the power to. This is his time to shine, and I have his back every step of the way. This moment in history will only be a small blip on my Legendary career, but the fact it means so much more for Ned MAKES it a big deal for me. After all the shit I've been through, to give the next big thing a boost for the future makes me feel like I'm leaving a mark on the business. Especially since it's beginning to look like I'll NEVER be considered for a Universal Title shot. Guys like Drezdin and Scully are just better than me, I guess. I have no reason to be upset about the events of Lethal Lottery. According to everyone else, I make excuses for losing and being treated unjustly, when in actuality, it's THEM making excuses for about my ACCOMPLISHMENTS!

I can't win no matter what I do, so why bother, right? The only thing I CAN win is the match that's in front of me. Noone's gonna give us a chance to win, but that's only gonna motivate me and Ned more! If The Arm Collectors can defeat Apex, why can't Notorious BIG beat the 5'2 Mafia? We've got the heart, determination, and most importantly, the SKILLS to do it! Sarah Lacklan's mouth is gonna be sore come Saturday, and I don't mean from all the runnin' she's gonna be doing with it! By the time Ned and I are finished with them, Noah's fake doctor is gonna have to wire their jaws shut! And everybody's gonna be thanking us for it.

And that ain't no story, it's the Cold Big D Truth!!!!

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